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Post by mh on Nov 14, 2016 2:23:21 GMT -6
later, carrying a big boxed fruit bouquet, babu happens upon a stunned looking mh.
"what's wrong, "asks babu.
"well," says mh, "i found a discarded lighter and tried it -- and a big green guy lumbers up and yells, "fire bad!" then he grabs my bungi dagger and bends it in half! then disappears! anyway, i'm headed to the 'hanso' store to get it straightened. i think I got a coupon in my wallet here someplace."
"who could bend a bungi dagger in half?" muses babu.
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Post by mh on Feb 19, 2017 23:19:28 GMT -6
the next day, also balmy and rainswept
... like every tuesday afternoon, babu, mh and doc were eating grilled cheese, and watching the antiques road show.
 
"i can't beleive that that damn chair was worth six hunered & fiddy dollars," says babu, washing down his grilled cheese with a bloody mary. "when i get home, i'm looking over all my chairs!"
"ny im nevmody netting ner nam neds nut nonn?!" queries doc quartum, his mouth full of grilled cheese.
"why is everybody getting their damn heads cut off?" replies mh. "i don't know. and that is a lot of money for a damn chair." |
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Post by mh on Feb 19, 2017 23:40:56 GMT -6
"back home, we git a lot of decapitations," says special guest hero beer-can superman, who, separated from mrs. beer-can superman, is staying in the mall-of-justices' guest hero room.
suddenly ambers comes from the kitchen, "i burned my finger making grilled cheese!" she exclaims, "babu, i need you to kiss my owie!"
"we've talked about this!" says babu, "no! i'm not doing it!"
"but it hurts!" she cries.
"shoot, i'll do it." says the ever gallant beer can superman. |
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Post by mh on Feb 19, 2017 23:54:23 GMT -6
as beer-can superman is kissing amber's owie, mrs. beer-can superman, hoping for a reconciliation, walks in.
"i see how it is!" she hisses.
and grabbing a discarded chain-saw, she starts it and begins to chase beer-can superman.
"aiiiiieeeee!!!!" he screams.
"wow, look at him run." says mh.
"yeah, it's a shame, "says babu. "he didn't finish his grilled cheese, and he was very curious about that 1930's settee bench that's coming up on home show next. kenny & buddy -- those guys shouldn't be so careless leaving chainsaws laying around."
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Post by mh on Feb 20, 2017 21:19:18 GMT -6
the accursed doctor quantumstein leaves to go visit eye-gor and the monster, who are sequestered in the bridal suite of 'the justice arms'.
"i like this town, " says eye-gor, "out the window i just saw a lady chasing someone with a chainsaw! is decapitation legal here?"
"somebody seems to think so!" exclaims doc. "anyway, you guys need to scram -- i got troubles! go back to the old country. you two escapees from a drug induced nightmare don't blend very well."
"but the monster is very grateful," says eye-gor "he wants to pay you back for your kindness! and, we haven't visited the world famous 'haunted park-bench' yet! we want to buy some cups that say, 'my friends visited the haunted park bench and all we got were these lousy cups!' so amusing."
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Post by mh on Feb 21, 2017 19:14:52 GMT -6
later as doc quantumstein leaves it's grown dark and foggy, and he's muttering, "those two! honestly. they won't listen to reason."
then glancing at his watch, "gaa! i got to get moving -- it's tuna casserole night. the mrs. makes it with peas & them little onions. i'm starved!"
watching with night vision goggles is the one babu called the de-nogginizer.
"here's my chance," says the de-nogginizer, grasping a big pickle jar full of brine to stick doc quantum's head in. "wait? who are those guys?"
"hi gents," says doc. creepy night huh? now where'd I park my car?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 1, 2017 16:52:57 GMT -6
"Thank God for a quiet night," Justice City Police Chief O'Hallihan said as he reached into a box of donuts on one of his detective's desk and pilfered a donut. The detective gave him a dirty look that he ignored.
"Yeah, life has been a lot quieter since the Monkey Alliance got back together," a nearby cop said.
"Yeah, ain't that the truth," the chief said, raising his coffee cup.
Suddenly, the front doors burst open and in the doorway stood a group of men whose heads had been replaced with Tesla coils. "What in the holy hell?" Chief O'hallihan said.
THe headless henchmen burst in the room to advance on them.
"Quick!" O'Hallihan exclaimed. "Somebody sound the monkey alarm!"
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Post by mh on Mar 14, 2017 12:41:17 GMT -6
"the monkey-alarm is on the fritz!" cries officer goldberg.
"damned budget cuts," croaks o'hallihan, pale with terror,"-- quick, somebody go the roof and man the monkey-signal!"
running for the backstairs, goldberg is blasted by alternating current, and slumps to the floor.
with a screech, skipper the station's monkey mascot scampers up the back stairs to the roof, and switches on the signal.
moments later Kenny & buddy burst in on babu & mh, still watching the antiques road show.
"babu!" yells kenny, "me and buddy was out a searchin' for the ufos, and we done a see'd the monkey-signal!"
"omg!" cries babu, "that thing hasn't been used in years! something must really be up. to police hq!"
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Post by mh on Mar 14, 2017 13:39:24 GMT -6
meanwhile, doc quantum, seemingly not taking full notice of the red-eyed specters converging around him, finds his misplaced ride.
"my la car!!" doc cries in ecstasy. and instead of opening the door like a regular person, he uses his superpower to 'blink' inside, just as one of the specters swings a razor-sharp curved sword just below where his head was milliseconds before. gunning the le car, doc shoots out of the parking space.
"they seemed like nice guys -- le car, we gotta hustle!" he says. then noticing the monkey-signal in the sky, which was well before his time, doc mutters, "what a creepy lookin' moon -- must be one of them weird lunar aztec things. c'mon le car! it's tuna nite! show these other hunks of junk what real performance is!"
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Post by mh on Aug 14, 2017 2:35:21 GMT -6
landing the monkey-mobile atop police hq, babu, mh, and lothar use the secret m.a. entrance originally installed because the chief kept losing his keys.
"i saw doc quantum just drive up." says mh, peering out a window.
"but it's tuna casserole nite!" exclaims lothar.
rushing down into the main part of the station house, they find the police sweeping up strewn electronics parts.
"ghhhhhaaaa!!!" cries doc, materializing near the duty desk. then he looks around, perplexed.
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Post by mh on Aug 14, 2017 3:09:27 GMT -6
"we were invaded by a bunch of headless guys!" exclaims chief o'hallihan. "they had bug zappers where their heads ought to be!"
behind the chief, lothar makes like he's drinking a fake cocktail & fake staggers around.
"it's true!" cries the chief. "the bodies are in the morgue!"
"yeek," says babu.
suddenly there's a disturbance outside, then doc & mh run out to see what happened. seconds later a policewoman dressed as a hooker bursts in.
"i found this perv outside," she says, tossing the cuffed weirdo into a chair.
doc comes in rolling a storage box on a dolley. "hey, this was hidden in the bushes," he exclaims, "it's full of heads!"
"i confess!" cries the guy, "i am lamar. the pumpkin harvester!"
"pumpkin harvester. nice one," mutters babu.
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Post by mh on Aug 14, 2017 3:34:06 GMT -6
"how'd u get him officer tammy?" ask the chief.
"he uhhh, said something about me giving him my head," tammy says, looking ashamed. "i misunderstood ..."
"wait," says doc, "these heads are all paper mache!"
"that's papier-mâché!" cries lamar.
"except this one ..."
"that's stinky's head!" says babu, referring to lord uppington, a friend of their alcoholic skirt chasing ghost aquantance, jeremiah singe.
"it talks occasionally," says lamar shivering. "i found it in a dumpster when i was looking for discarded paper for papier-mâché. mostly it complains about servants."
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Post by mh on Aug 14, 2017 8:21:58 GMT -6
"then you're a copycat criminal, you're not the punkin harvester at all!" says chief o'hallihan.
"am too! I came up with the name!" lamar snarls viscously.
"i know -- let's call him 'heady lamar'!" exclaims officer tammy.
everyone laughs.
"no!" cries 'heady lamar'. "there's an old movie actress called hedy lamarr! i'll be a laughing stock!"
several 1940's-looking reporters had gathered following a hot tip, and several were on one of the row of payphones yelling, "stop the presses!" one overhearing larmar, says, "'heady lamar'! sin-sational!" and all the reporters begin snapping pictures.
"noooooo!" cries lamar as they take him to lock-up. |
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Post by mh on Aug 14, 2017 8:50:52 GMT -6
"anyway chief, how'd you and your fine officers manage to subdue the headless beheaders?" asks babu.
"oh, it wasn't us," says the chief. "bullets bounced off them! some kind of magnetic shield or somethin' i guess. but just when they were closing in on us a huge green looking guy stumbled in & just began waylaying them!"
"the electric shocks didn't stop him?" asks babu.
"sh-t, he liked it!" exclaims a rookie, with a big grin.
"i think he was one of them olympic athletes from some slavic country hopped up on some of them illegal performance enhancing drugs, that's what i think." says the chief. "there was an old guy with him, probably his coach. while the guy was smashing the headless goons, the old guy was just cackling away! once they were all headless bodies and rubble, the old guy yelled 'come!' -- and they took off. I guess they were here on vacation. they were both wearing 'haunted park-bench' t-shirts!"
"why didn't you hold them for questioning?" asks babu.
"ha! yer funny!" says the chief. "goldberg followed them out, the rest of us were sorta, i don't know -- kinda paralyzed with fear? jeeze, it was no day at the beach! anyway, we owe them our lives."
"doc quantum," says goldberg, "the old guy told me to tell you their debt was repaid and they were taking the night train back to the old country. oh, and the big guy gave me something for you."
"well, give it to me," says doc.
"are you sure?" asks goldberg.
"yes! give it to me!" says doc.
goldberg grabs doc's head & kisses him right on the mouth. |
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Post by mh on Aug 14, 2017 9:17:25 GMT -6
in the uncomfortable silence that follows they hear the 'chug chug' of the train leaving, then faint sad violin music.
"the poor creature has a heart in his chest the size of a prizewinning budapest cabbage, "says doc. "and i should know. my great grandfather put it in there!"
"hey," where'd mh get off to?" asks babu.
"i dunno, "says doc. "he went out with me when were heard the policewoman subduing that weirdo, and we found the box of fake heads."
in an alley mh wakes up and finds himself tangled in a heavy mesh net like is used to capture wildlife.
"good, the dart's poison is wearing off," says a feminine voice. "can you see me mh?"
"debbie? from 'potato corner'? you're alive?! and your head's on?" stammers mh.
"yes!!" exclaims debbie. "i never got decapitated -- i faked it! now revenge is mine. you toyed with my feelings mh. toyed! say it!"
"toyed?" replied mh.
"yes!!!" cries debbie. |
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