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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 14, 2014 10:22:23 GMT -6
"I can't believe this is the city of gold we travelled so far to see!" Babu Baboon exclaims.
"I know. It's kind of anticlimactic," Doc says.
Suddenly, one of the managers says, "Sirs, your pioneer beards are scaring the other patrons."
"Nu uh," a nearby hipster says. "I think they're way cool!"
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Post by mh on Jun 22, 2014 23:48:20 GMT -6
after free shaves with a hot lather dispenser, baths, grooming and costume repairs, the monkey alliance members walk thru the casino.
"i feel so much better," says mh. "i needed to make a big related group of fudge serpents!"
"you mean a big family of chocolate snakes?" asks babu.
"yes," says mh. "and wasn't eduardo a treasure? he sure did work that loofa. i lost a decade of dead skin, i'll tell you."
"eduardo?" says babu, "there was no eduardo."
"dammit!" cries mh, "i think some latin perv snuck into my bath!"
suddenly skye runs up excitedly.
"skye," what're you doing here?!" exclaims babu.
"well we swung past stuckeys' to grab a few more pecan logs, and found a trap door leading here!" she exclaims. "me and my girls are breaking this place!"
"what, you're winning money?" asks babu.
"no, we've been tearing up the all you can eat prime rib bar!" answers skye. "we're getting our grub on! and taffy is taking it to another level. oh, i gotta go! there's the desert cart!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 13, 2014 14:06:50 GMT -6
The group approached the food area, hearing a commotion before they even made it there. The first thing they saw was the manager sitting at a booth with his head in his hands weeping openly as one of the buffet workers patted him on the back consolingly.
At the all you can eat prime rib buffet, Taffy was banging her tray against the counter and screaming, "Bring me more meat! I'm starving!"
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Post by mh on Jul 13, 2014 21:24:42 GMT -6
"dang!" says babu, "they just brought taffy a leg of lamb, and she cleaned the bone like a school of piranhas! those gurls used to binge and purge, but now they just binge!"
"i'm guessing their early 20's intern sex drive has kicked in massively and is causing them to burn tons of calories," says doc quantum. "the girls and especially taffy are -- how do i put it? hurtin' for a squirtin'."
"gaaaa!" yells mh, overhearing this, and his eyes roll up in his head. then he goes over to the free beverage bar and dumps several pounds of shaved ice down his superhero tights.
"i swear to g-d baboon," says doc quantum, "if i live to be 100 i'll never understand that guy." |
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Post by mh on Jul 14, 2014 21:59:55 GMT -6
just then an alarm goes off as babu pulls the arm of a slot machine, and fifty dollar bills come pouring out.
"yes!" yells babu, "fiddies! dam straight! from here on in, nothing but fiddies! that's the way i roll!"
"what's wrong with him?" doc quantum asks mh, who, his britches full of shaved ice, has collapsed underneath the cocktail shrimp station.
"oh, "says mh, who tries to crawl further away from doc quantum under the shrimp station, "babu came to maturity during the 'new jack city' era. fifties -- or fiddies, hold a strange allure over him. he's losing it. if he freaks out, it'll take all of you, including super jesse, to bring him down. this place must be cursed."
"mh, can't you help?" asks doc.
"no," replies mh, "i'm already more freaked out than he is. only my superhuman manhunter mental powers are allowing me to converse with you like a damn person. plus, i got shaved ice in my britches." |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 16, 2014 15:58:27 GMT -6
Babu suddenly runs from machine to machine screaming, "Fiddies! Fiddies!" shaking them for all they're worth. An alarm goes off and many black clad security men seem to come out of nowhere.
"Oh, this is not good," Doc says.
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Post by mh on Jul 18, 2014 0:33:05 GMT -6
his manhunter nano-bot based healing factor fighting the effects of the 'city of gold' curse, mh rolls out from under the buffet and says, "uh, security guys, in his current state, babu is liable to stick silver dollars in yer mouth, and pull on your arms waiting for 'fiddies' to come out of your asses. and the guy can rip a pit-bull in half! nobody wants to to to the emergency room tonite, right?"
the guards back up, and mh and doc quantum, all out of ideas, take a huge bucket of iced shrimp & dump it down babu's pants.
"katy perry!!!" he screams, coming out of his 'babu baboon' superhero shorts, revealing 'tighty whities' underneath with tiny bananas on them.
"babu wears undies with bananas on them?!" exclaims skye.
"yeah," says mh, "thems his lucky draws! like the 'fresh prince' used to waer!"
slipping in and snatching babu's superhero shorts without anyone noticing, skelly jack murmurs, "wot fancy britches." |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 25, 2014 20:31:10 GMT -6
Babu sees Skelly Jack making off with his super hero-ing trunks. "Noooooo!!!" My fiddies are in there!"
Babu gives chase as Skelly Jack laughs girlishly. Babu jumps on him and he laughs even more.
"We'd better jump in before Babu throttles the life out of Skelly Jack."
"Can Skelly Jack even be killed?" Doc Quantum says. "I mean, what the hell is Skelly Jack anyway?"
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Post by mh on Aug 8, 2014 19:20:10 GMT -6
"i dunno what he is, "says mh, pulling his leg, "he expands liek stretch armstrong!!"
"ah, wot a lovely complement mh, "says skelly jack, reddening. "stretch armstrong was an absolute dream."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Aug 30, 2014 19:23:04 GMT -6
MH continues pulling on Skelly Jack's leg as Babu runs off in the other direction with an arm and a leg. Skelly Jack continues to laugh maniacally as he stretches.
"You've got to let go!" Doc tells MH.
"Why?" MH says.
"Didn't you have a Stretch Armstrong as a kid?" Doc exclaims. "Don't you know what happens if you stretch them too far?"
"What?" MH says.
They suddenly hear a "R-i-i-i-P!!" sound.
"Oh my stars and garters!" Skelly Jack exclaims.
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Post by mh on Nov 25, 2014 22:59:10 GMT -6
after an entire roll of duct tape, jack says, "ah, that's much better! i'll mend good as new after a while. doc quantum, you have then tender hands of a born healer!"
"not really," says doc, "but i have done quite a bit of repair on my duct-work!"
"listen skelly," says baboon, "it's time to reveal the mystery of "the lost city of gold!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 26, 2014 8:47:33 GMT -6
"Do you really want to know the secret?" Skelly Jack says.
"Yes!" everyone says in unison.
"Then we must away to the basement of this fine casino," he says. "Of course, it will be heavily guarded."
Everyone groans.
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Post by mh on Dec 6, 2014 21:29:30 GMT -6
minutes later, far beneath the 'City of Gold' casino, stepping over a black jack dealer he seconds ago punched in the kidneys, mh says, "heavily guarded? yeah right! like my granny's jewelry box."
"you're a clone, mh," replies babu, "you ain't got no granny."
"yeah but my point ..." begins mh.
"i get it!" replies babu. "i just pounded 6 parking lot attendants into an unconscious heap! if this is the worst they have to offer ..."
"there may be a bit more." whispers skelly jack with an odd giggle. and suddenly a large shape appears before them.
"no, no ... a thousand times no." rasps babu, his voice quaking with fear. "our deadliest enemy .... the salomi monster."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 28, 2015 14:59:07 GMT -6
"Why are you doing the wrecking of mine casino!" the Slamoi monter bellows. ""The buffet alone will cost me lots of the moneys!"
"Um... sorry?" Taffy hiccups.
"Stow it, Slamoi," Babu Baboon says.
"Yeah," MH agrees. "This caasino has a secret and we want to know what it is!"
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Post by mh on Jun 1, 2015 2:53:13 GMT -6
suddenly they find themselves back in the casino.
"hold it!" cries skelly jack. "I don't want any undue destruction. i offer a wager! choose any champion you like for any competition."
"okay this is our out." whispers babu. "let's put out heads together."
after much whispering, seconds later babu says,"we choose ... twerking! and our champion is miley cirus!"
"hmmm. well played, " says skelly jack. "I choose ... jigglebilly!"
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