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Post by mh on Oct 14, 2013 9:36:22 GMT -6
'the mall of justice mystery' featuring:
SanDeE*, amber, dakota, taffy, and skye
the mall of justice mystery starring the m.a. interns:
a frightening m.a. interns adventure part 1
the m.a. interns were returning to the offices from their lunch at meaty mcGee's, walking across the somewhat desolate strip mall that now houses the monkey alliance.
amber: a lot of these shops have shut down.
dakota (the smart one): i feel sorry for ned. 'ned's house of scissors' has been an institution in the town of justice since 1962! i mean, what are people supposed to do if they need scissors now?
taffy: i was in there the other day. ned was so depressed. he sold a pair of scissors to this child and said, "here kid, run with these!"
skye: poor ned.
an ominous cold wind blew, and at that moment SanDeE* saw from the corner of her eye a dark figure appear, and as quickly disappear in the direction of the long closed 'top of the muffin to ya!" store.
SanDeE*: hey ... what was ...
taffy: i got a chill! that wind cut right thru me.
amber: me too!
at that moment mh & kenny appeared several yards away, probably headed to the liquer store for an 'eye opener'.
mh: hi girls!!
kenny: hi gurls!
they all wave.
mh: kenny, did you get a look at taffy? those headlights were on high beam!
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 14, 2013 13:11:59 GMT -6
There must be something we can do to save the strip mall," SanDeE says.
"Yeah," but what? Amber says.
Dakota gets the pained expression she always gets when she's thinking. "It needs to be something to make enough money that all the stores can stay in business..."
But attention getting so new businesses will want to come here..."
"I know!" Taffy says. "We can have a bikini car wash!"
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Post by mh on Oct 14, 2013 14:08:02 GMT -6
"That's a great idea! -- i'll call my fiancee!" yells kenny, leaving the liqueur store with a bag fulla 40's. that weekend ![]() amber: well that was a mess. most guys decided they liked their cars dirty!
dakota: well at least the big girl fashion outlet is staying in business. kenny's girlfriend and her bffs bought almost all of their 'hotty' clothes. those girls were in it to win it!
taffy: i don't know, i think maybe we could have done better ourselves. unless guys really just like dirty cars. damn! i got myself tied up in this ball of yarn i was playing with! SanDeE*? would you go over to ned's and see if he has any scissors left? ouuch. my wrists are starting to chafe!
SanDeE*: umkay!
so off SanDeE* goes, and crossing the parking lot, runs into babu baboon who is trying to dislodge a pig head from the hood ornament of his wife's sedan.
www.voy.com/44092/43.html
babu: hey sandee! would you help me dislodge this pig head from the hood of my wife's sedan? then when i get home, i can wrap it up & stick it in the freezer.
together they managed to get it dislodged, and stick in the picnic cooler in baboon's trunk for safe keeping.
SanDeE*: babu, i gotta go to ned's to get some scissors for taffy. you wanna come with?
babu: yarn again, huh? okay. better that you don't go alone. there's somethin' creepy goin' on around here. the insurance guys look scared as hell lately and have increased all their policies 500% and won't say why. we're fairly new here i think there's something they're not telling me.
SanDeE*: huh?
babu: never mind. let's go get some scissors.
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Post by mh on Oct 14, 2013 23:41:39 GMT -6
the mall of justice mystery starring the m.a. interns:
a frightening m.a. interns adventure part 2
doc von quantum was in the food court having a smoothy with mel from 'the waterbed shed'.
"No worries, "says mel, "we have a loyal built-in clientele -- the 'waterbed shed' ain't going no place! if people don't enjoy comfort, that's their damage. i'm actually sort of glad ned is going. scissors ... waterbeds? they just don't mix."
"this food court sort of sucks, "says doc. "you can have a smoothy and or a falafel -- and that's about it."
"no, "says mel, "you also got 'mel's hotdog on a stick! we just opened it, right around the corner. and i think maybe arby's might still be here .... someplace."
"now if that damn phantom of the strip mall would just ..."
"what? "asks doc quantum.
mel: ah ... nuthin'! listen, i didn't say anything ... hey how about 20% off of a waterbed? yer not afraid of true comfort, are you?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 15, 2013 6:39:20 GMT -6
In the distance, a figure wearing a trenchcoat and fedora that cloaked his face in shadow, watched as Doc Quantum made his way back to the Monkey Alliance headquarters. "Soon ... soon..." he said with an evil laugh.
Meanwhile, back at the Monkey Alliance Headquarters, Doc Quantum was telling Babu about Mel's strange behavior. Babu scratched his hairy chin thoughtfully. "The Phantom of the Strip Mall, you say... I thought he was just an urban legend."
"You've heard of him?" Doc Quantum asked.
"Once upon a time, this mall used to be thriving. All but one store.... Spatula City. People just weren't willing to pay high dollar for trendy designer spatulas. The owner was insanely jealous of everyone elses success. When his store went under, he swore that he wasn't going alone. He would be back to make sure everyone else went with him."
"Very interesting...." Doc Quantum said thoughtfully.
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Post by mh on Oct 15, 2013 8:12:06 GMT -6
"yeah," said babu, "according to the cook at the 'falafel hut', they were top notch spatulas. and that guy knows his spatulas! the end came i hear, when they put in one of those 'dollar shacks'. for what one spatula at spatula city would cost you, you could go to 'dollar shack' and fill the trunk of your car! hey, anybody know if the 'dollar shack' is still in business? i could use one of those ron poleil beard trimmers."
  meanwhile, at the 'falafel hut' SanDeE* & dakota were waiting for their order when a trenchcoated figure approaches the kid working the counter, pulls his fedora low and says, "gimme a falafel .... and a dr. pepper."
the kid takes the order then goes about finishing SanDeE* & dakota's order. the figure peers over the counter, lifting his fedora slightly. and his eyes take on a pecular gleam.
"that's one nice looking spatula you got there."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 15, 2013 16:04:40 GMT -6
With an evil cackle, the trenchcoated figure grabbed the spatula and ran from the falafel hut. The crowd was dumb struck.
"My spatula!" the kid exclaimed, tears in his eyes. "My spatula! My spatula! How am I supposed to finish my falafels without my spatula! THey'll be ruined, I tell you! Ruined!!"
"Oooo! Someone help that poor man!" a lady said.
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Post by mh on Oct 15, 2013 21:52:39 GMT -6
dakota, once voted fastest girl in the third grade made chase. But unfortunately, she slipped on a discarded, "mel's hotdog on a stick" and slid into an old 25 cent horsey ride. "Ouch!" she yelled, "i've got a rug burn!"
skye and babu appeared, and skye quickly grasped and threw a plastic bottle of spicy mustard, which connected and opened, pouring it's contents on the escaping spatula thief's face. "ghaaaaa!!! my face!!" he screamed, and dropped the spatula, stepping on it & breaking it. "nooooo!!!!" he screamed in horror. "then he vanishes into the shell of an old "chic-fil-lay", still clutching his face.
"these falafels are gunna burn, "says the kid, miserably.
babu begins rumminging thru a rusty tool box by the old photo booth.
"here kid, "he says, "and hands the young man an old paint scaper.
"thanks mister, " the kid beams, "yer a real neat guy!"
the dark figure, hiding in a 'fashion bug' removes his hat & peers at his refection. "my face is all kinda, a little bit red on one side. i'm a monster!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 17, 2013 6:33:33 GMT -6
The dark figure pulled on a half mask to cover the singed part of his face. "They'll pay! They'll all pay!"
He sat down to the organ he'd dragged over from "Oliver's Organ Emporium and prepared to play dramatic music. "Hmm. I don't know how to actually play this thing." He sat down and began playing "chopsticks."
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Post by mh on Oct 18, 2013 22:25:37 GMT -6
"ah, soothing!" the dark figure figure says as he slathers coco-butter underneath his "Spencer's" novelty mask he continues his conversation with the 'fashion bug' mannequin ".... and as i drug this thing out of the store i said, "hey oliver! i got your organ right here!!
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 19, 2013 12:40:12 GMT -6
Later that day, Taffy is working the front desk to answer the phones in case someone should call in for help. MH is sitting casually, halfway on the desk, regaling her with tales of the Monkey Alliance's heyday, with a focus on his part in them.
They both here a jingle of the front door's bell and look to see it's propped open slightly. Sitting just a few inches away is an envelope.
"I wonder what that could be?" Taffy says.
"I'll take a look," MH says, swaggering towards the doorway. He throws open the door and a deluge of water pours down on his head, followed by a bucket.
MH yanks the bucket off his head angrily and grabs the envelope off the ground. He opens the note and reads one word. "Gotcha!"
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Post by mh on Oct 19, 2013 19:32:02 GMT -6
as taffy squeals in horror, mh quickly runs out the door, wielding the bucket as a weapon, and sees a dark figure turn the corner. the figure runs crazily, zig zagging. mh throws the bucket at him, but it bounces off a ford focus and slams buddy in the side of the head, who had left his guard post at the 'wiener king' cart and was circling the focus to head off the escaping meanie. kenny appears in front of him & launches himself into a captain kirk flying kick, he connects and the both slam on top of one another in a knot of arms & legs onto the parking lot. amber runs up and pulls the black stocking cap off the villain. underneath is the kid from the 'falafel hut', looking very confused.
falafel kid: ummm, what happened?
mh: he's the 'phantom of the strip mall'! he got me all wet and embarrassed me in front of taffy! let's beat the hell out of him!
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 19, 2013 19:59:43 GMT -6
It wasn't me!" Swears the kid from the falafel hut.
"Yeah? Then who was it" snarls MH.
"I saw a guy leaving your place wearing a long black cape and a mask that covered half his face."
Then why were you wearing a mask?" Amber said.
"I was so inspired by you guys the other day that I wanted to join," the kid gulped. "I thought I could call myself Falafel Lad."
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Post by mh on Oct 19, 2013 22:27:15 GMT -6
(falafel lad?!! baboon, you psycho!)
mh: now i feel terrible! -- yer deep love of the monkey alliance has almost maid me cry! kneel falafel lad. by the monkey alliance powers vested in me and by the g-ds of all that is right, i hereby dub thee falafel lad a temporary member of the monkey alliance! although you may only be a member for days -- or probably hours, you name will henceforth appear in the scroll of monkeys!"
falafel lad: wow!!!!
mh: now here falafel lad, take this sock full of pennies once used by babu baboon & mushmouth to defeat the crimson mullet, and search every nook & cranny in the mall, and if you find the phantom -- jack him with it!
falafel lad : yes mh! i won't let ya down!! -- seconds later
"that kid's toast, "says buddy. "well of course, "replies mh, "but look, take amber and follow him from a respectable distance. if things get dicey, you two can use his lifeless body as a human shield. i'll drag kenny into taffy's new pillow fort. i can only pray mrs. baboon hasn't noticed that taffy absconded with about 90% of her damn pillows. and now if you'll excuse me, it's 4 o'clock. everyday at this time me & mel from mel's waterbed shed have 'high tea', and watch the episode of st:tng where troy and beverly crusher do arobics. it's just something we do. it's a very calming time for us both
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 19, 2013 23:37:19 GMT -6
Kenny and Amber trail from a distance as Falafel Lad walks behind the strip mall, searching the back of each store.
Suddenly, the Phantom jumps out from one of the metal back door, throwing his arms up, holding the ends of his cape, with a dramatic flourish. "Bwah-hah-hah!"
Falafel Lad lets out a girlish shriek, nails the Phantom in the nads with the sock full of pennies and runs off.
"What do we do now?" Amber asks Kenny as they watch the Phantom walk behind a dumpster to throw up.
"I dunno," Kenny says. "This is a little bit out of my pay grade."
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