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Post by mh on Oct 25, 2022 13:17:28 GMT -6
"what, no piano wire?" asks winston sarcastically.
"of course i brought piano wire!" says ritchie, pulling a garrot out of his pocket. "what do you think? i'm a mook?"
"ritchie, says winston kindly," you're a ruthless one-man sicilian killing machine, but you're next to useless in this situation. but don't fret, i've called in someone who specializes in this stuff to help us."
the doorbell rings and morton, after a nod from winston, goes and answers it. and in comes zac baggins. looking around he says, "can anyone join this pimp party?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 25, 2022 17:45:03 GMT -6
"The joker from the Travel channel? Are you nuts?" Ritchie exclaimed. "My idiot nephew downloaded their ghost hunting app and drives me nuts every time he thinks he hears something that sounds like a voice!"
"Hey, don't let our show fool you," Zack says. "That's just how we pay the bills for our real work. Now fill me in."
Morton tells him about all his dreams and Zack listens intently. "And you're sure her great grandmother is dead?"
"Positive."
"Then it sounds like what we're dealing with is a gypsy witch using spirit magic," Zack says.
"You're sure about this?" Winston says.
"Absolutely," Zack says. "I take it her family never liked you?" he asks Morton
"That's putting it mildly," Morton says.
"She probably had a curse already in place in case your wife died first," Zack says. "The first thing we need to do is get a circle of salt around you so they can't get to you."
"My wife had me on a low sodium diet. I have Mrs Dash, though," Morton said. Winston and Ritchie facepalmed.
"Don't worry, I brought my own," Zack said, reaching into his leather bag. "Among other things." He pulled out a jar full of a red substance."
"Is that blood?" Morton asked.
"Virgin blood," Zack said. "Don't ask how I got it."
He opened the jar and went around the room finger painting strange symbols on the walls. "Don't be alarmed. I'm just warding the room against demons."
"Don't be alarmed he says," Ritchie smirked.
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Post by mh on Oct 26, 2022 1:34:06 GMT -6
"okay, i'm laying down a secondary circle for the three of us." says baggins. "but we're relatively safe. morton here is her target. and she's expended a lot of spirit energy on the dreams. she doesn't have that much to spare."
"what's she trying to do with the dreams," asks morty. "give me a massive coronary?"
"no, i'm sure she'd be very disappointed if that happened," replies zac. "you'd be out of her reach. a stroke maybe! in a vegetative state she could go on torturing you for a long time."
ritchie steps around to look morton in the eyes. "not gonna happen!" he says. "pal, you have stroke, word of honor from ritchie the hammer, i'm putting one right into your gourd!" and he pulls a .45 from beneath his jacket. then smiles comfortingly.
"jezus," whines morty.
"zac, what's the plan?" asks winston.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 26, 2022 14:05:09 GMT -6
Zac reached into his bag and pulled out two rag dolls: one male and one female. Both dolls were faceless.
"What's with the creepy dolls?" Ritchie asked.
"These are amish dolls," Zac said. "They're faceless because they believe dolls with faces are graven images, which is against their religion."
"So?"
"So since these dolls have no identity," Zac continued, "it makes them perfect vessels for trapping ghosts. We'd be using them like spirit boxes."
"What do we do with them once they're trapped?" Morty asked.
"Bury them. Or burn them. It's up to you," Zac said. "But if you burn them, you will have to perform a ceremony to keep them from being released."
"How do we trap them?" Winston asked.
"We wait for them to come for Morty," Zac said. "Then I do my thing."
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Post by mh on Oct 29, 2022 11:41:54 GMT -6
"oh, and you'll all need spirit bags! spirit bag, spirit bag, spirit bag ..." zack says as he passes them out. and do any of you have objects that bring you comfort?"
"i have this rabbit's foot on a key chain," says morty pulling it out. it's been worn bare over the years. "i got it in mexico on a six day binge drinking holiday with my college friends when i was 21. i've never had a happier time."
"nope, i'm good." says winston wolf.
"i've got this!" says ritchie, lifting up an old beaten ak-47, which appears to have some significance to him.
"what a maniac. this guy kills me!" whispers zack happily, leaning over to morton.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 31, 2022 21:08:35 GMT -6
The three men sat in silence in their respective salt circles. Morton let out a yawn.
"Don't you dare fall asleep!" Ritchie exclaims.
"Maybe we should have made some coffee before getting in these salt circles," Winston said.
"I have some caffeine pills," Zac said, tossing the box to Morty. "I pop those puppies like tic tacs!"
"We could tell," Winston nodded.
Suddenly, the ceiling fan popped on. Everyone looked up in shock.
"What the f--k??" Ritchie shouted.
"It's disturbing the salt!" Zac exclaimed, pointing at the moving circles.
Ritchie looked over at Morty who's head was nodding. "How the hell are you falling asleep now?"
"I don't think he's doing it," Winston says.
"It's the witch," Zac says. "We've got to catch the ghosts before they get Morty!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 4, 2022 19:30:00 GMT -6
The ceiling fan continued to spin faster and faster until it exploded in a shower of sparks, disconnected and flew to crash through the window. Wet winds poured in from the storm outside. The salt circles were history.
"We've got to do something!" Ritchie exclaimed. "Or Morty's a goner!"
Zac pulled out a book and began to chant. The winds began to whip around them even harder.
"Holy sh-t!" Winston exclaimed, pointing at the Amish dolls as faces started to appear. "It's working!"
As the faces began to develop, the mouths screamed in outrage.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 5, 2022 18:21:20 GMT -6
Suddenly, there was a huge clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, and the power went out. In the darkness, they could here the sound of small feet running. When the lights came back on, the dolls were gone.
"What the hell?" the usually composed Winston said.
"Well. that's never happened before," Zac said.
"That's all you can say?" Ritchie exclaimed.
"Relax," Zac said. "They're a foot and a half tall each. We find them and burn them. Easy peasy."
"Not so easy peasy, Zac," Ritchie said. "I had two knives on me and they're both gone!"
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Post by mh on Nov 12, 2022 15:55:57 GMT -6
"don't panic," says zack, "i brought along a couple of items i recently acquired. they're very old, and very rare. i hadn't planned on bringing them, but they sort of ... insisted."
"insisted?" questions winston, baffled.
zack takes out a bag, sits it on the table & gently loosens the top. it begins to move a little. two large hands, then a tiny head emerge.
"what the f-ck is that?!" snarls ritchie.
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Post by mh on Nov 12, 2022 16:22:10 GMT -6
"a puppet," says zack staring at it intently. "it's full of pulleys and gears. i have no idea what powers it. don't let it's size fool you. he's got a punch like mike tyson." zack rubs his jaw.
a second one leaps from the bag. it has a scapel for one hand, and a hook for the other.
"holy hell zack," says winston, these can only be demonic!"
"but they hate little things that aren't them ... my cat for example!" says zack. "fuzz-ball is being fostered."
suddenly the one with the scalpel raises his head and appears to sniff the air. he and the one with this big hands turn & share a look, and the one leaps from the table and runs down the hall. winston thinks he heard a slight chuckle.
the big one jumps off the table, walking hurriedly. he looks back at them with a squint, and then turns and begins crawling up the stairs.
"this ain't right," says ritchie, pulling out a crucifix on a chain around his neck. "i was a alter boy for crying out loud!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 14, 2022 8:33:12 GMT -6
Zack and Ritchie were walking near the kitchen when there was a loud crash. They rushed in to see the scalpel puppet and the ragdoll with Morty's wife's lover's face in a knife fight in one of the cabinets.
Dishes were crashing to the floor as they tumbled about. The two tiny combatants fell from the cabinet themselves, landing among the shattered dinnerware.
"Quick, Ritchie! The lighter fluid!" Zack cried.
Ritchie quickly squirted lighter fluid onto the ragdoll as Zack struck a match and tossed it at it. "Take that, you little bastard!" Ritchie exclaimed.
Just then, the big puppet appeared in the doorway. The faming ragdoll made a beeline for it, spreading its arms wide as if to grab it in a bear hug..
"Noooo!" Zack exclaimed.
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