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Post by mh on Dec 15, 2013 1:09:29 GMT -6
T'was the night before monkey-mas
a festive holiday thriller starring:
babu baboon, doc quantum
and the m.a. interns PART 1
in the stately recesses of 'the mall of justice', babu baboon and the m.a. interns are trimming the old aluminum christmas tree that sandee's family used until she was eleven, then she found in the dumpster and rescued, sticking it way back in her clothes closet.
"isn't it beautiful?" sandee gushes. the other interns agree, trying to look enthusiastic.   "maybe it was back when your great-granny was still hot," mutters babu.
"what?" asks sandee.
"yes, very nice!" says babu. "but it needs a lot more decorating. fill it out good. use all 5 boxes of tinsel if you have to! wrap that string of movie theater popcorn around it."
suddenly mh comes in, brushing himself off, covered in snow. "merry christmas everybody!" he exclaims.
the interns all excitedly wish him a merry christmas.
"oh i see you have a lovely gift there mh, "says babu coyly. "who were you secret santa to by the way?"
"oh, it was uh .. taffy, i think" mh answers.
"that wouldn't be something from victoria secret's would it?" asks babu.
"no!" exclaims mh. "it's some .. socks! from target."
"well that's not a very good gift for taffy," continues babu. "tell you what, i have a nice gift platter from meaty magee's here all wrapped. you can give this to taffy, and the socks can go to our mail lady.""dang it .." mutters mh.
meanwhile, doc quantum is on his way to monkey alliance HQ laden with gifts. he spots some santas playing 'g-d rest ye merry gentlemen' in the city square, but no one else it around.
"what's up with them creepy santas, "he wonders aloud, and suddenly they begin moving toward him.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 15, 2013 12:53:45 GMT -6
Suddenly, flame erupts from the horns of the Santas. Doc Quantum quickly telepots out of the way, reappearing behind a row of trash cans.
Doc peers over the trash cans at the Santas. "What the hell?"
The Santas turn his way, firing again. Doc ducks down behind the trash cans, narrowly missing being roasted alive.
The air is suddenly filled with a wheezing noise as an old timey British police box suddenly appears. A skinny guy in a smart looking blue suit and a trench coat steps out and points at Doc. "Come with me if you want to live!"
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Post by mh on Dec 15, 2013 22:28:38 GMT -6
meanwhile, babu, mh and the m.a. interns have met drivaan for a late christmas eve supper at "tofu joe's", formerly "vegan mcguires".
"why aren't you girls visiting your families for the holidays, 'asks drivaan.
"oh," babu answers, "they're all 'east justice' gurls, and their folks are on carribean cruises."
"yeah, "answers dakota, looking questionally at her tofu burger," poor mom and dad are probably eating roast pork on some island right now. ... aren't we lucky?"
taffy begins to bite into her burger and says, "ouu yucky!"
"go ahead girls, enjoy." says drivaan.
"meaty McGee's is having 'road kill tuesday," says taffy, under her breath.
"taffy's poking her lip out," mh mutters lowly to babu, looking distressed.
"stay strong," replies babu.
meanwhile doc quatrum is zipping along crazily in a craft that seems much larger on the inside than the outside. "it's bigger .." begins doc.
"ha!" says the trench-coated man. "i've been waiting for that!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 16, 2013 13:15:39 GMT -6
Babu, MH, and the interns are staring at their burgers. Drivtaan is looking on eagerly, hoping to teach them the ways of Tofu goodness.
"C'mon, Taffy, you've hardly touched your tofu burger," Drivtaan says.
"I... I'm not very hungry," Taffy says.
"But you're always hungry," Drivtaan exclaims.
Their conversation is cut short when three creepy Santas with brass instruments appear outside the large window in front of them. They lift their intruments up and torrents of flame issue forth, blasting out the window. Everyone ducks for cover.
A loud wheezing noise suddenly fills the air as a blue British police box suddenly appeas in the middle of Tofu Joe's. The door opens and they see a skinny guy wearing a blue suit and trenchcoat. Peaking over his shoulder is Doc Quantum.
"Quick! Get in!" the skinny guy in the trenchcoat says.
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Post by Doc Quantum on Dec 17, 2013 13:31:20 GMT -6
"Can you believe this, guys?!" says Doc, his eyes wide and looking crazy, he's so excited. "It's the Doctor! THE DOCTOR!"
The others don't look as excited, not having the power of pop culture references like Doc Quantum has.
"Doctor? Doctor who?" asks Drivtaan.
"Exactly!" Doc replies, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
The others shrug.
"OK, I'll bite," says Babu. "Let's all step into the blue box and find out why Doc's so excited."
"It better not be like the last time he got so excited over the McRibwich," grumbles MH, and he and the others all enter the big blue box.
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Post by mh on Dec 17, 2013 22:40:43 GMT -6
they all scream & run out.
"big inside ... ", "says babu, "big!"
"that one. he's quick!" say the doctor. "you might want to come back in here."
"eeeekkk!!!" scream the interns, seeing the santas, and everyone runs back in. the door shutting behind them.
doc quantum, who'd stayed inside says with a huge smile, "this is my best christmas since i was 4 and got a slot car race set & a talking G.I. joe with a beard & kung fu grip!" 
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 18, 2013 20:36:35 GMT -6
"What the heck were those things?" MH asks.
"Roboforms," the Doctor says, flipping switches on the TARDIS console. "Also known as 'Pilot Fish'. The're robot scavengers and mercenaries."
"But what are they doing coming after us?" Babu asks.
"Did you hear the part where I said mercenary?" the Doctor quips. If they're comin after you, it's because someone wants you destroyed. Someone who thinks you'll be in the way when they do whatever it is they have planned."
"Could it be Degaton again?" Doc Quantum muses.
"Unless Degaton is some alien despot bent on conquering Earth, probably not," the Doctor says.
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Post by mh on Dec 22, 2013 1:07:16 GMT -6
"has anyone noticed anything unusual, "asked the doctor. "anyone new around?"
"well, only the klinger-bot 2000's new friend," says sandee, smiling. "i was suppose to keep it quiet. i ran across her the other day. you guys built her right? she says her name is 'anne droid' -- isn't that cute? whew, she asks a lot of questions."
"anne droid?" the doctor repeats. "oh dear."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 22, 2013 10:23:36 GMT -6
Meanwhile, Kingerbot 2000 and Anne Droid are walking hand in hand throug the field behind the Mall of Justice. Klingerbot has picked a handful of wildflowers and handed them to Anne Droid.
"Oh Anne, you have made me the happiest Klingerbot in the world," Klingerbot says.
"Oh, Klingerbot, *click* you say the sweetest things," Anne Droid says.
"Klingerbot drops to one knee and says, "Anne, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
"I would love to *click*," Anne Droid says. "But there are too many *click* secrets between us."
"What do you mean?" Klingerbot says.
"How can we be together when I *click* cannot even get in the front door by myself? I need the Monkey Alliance secret codes."
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Post by mh on Dec 22, 2013 15:05:38 GMT -6
the klingerbot's eyes blink and he says, "but my unreconizably alloyed godess, that's one of my prime directives! babu would be sore. and he just had kenny and buddy repair my brain."
"you don't really *click* love me," says anne, making robot sobbing sounds.
"i can't take it," says the klingerbot. then his eyes flash furiously, and his head begins to smoke.
"there, "he says, "i rerouted my data stream so i can give you the information. but before i do, would you in your sweet voice, tell me a joke about klanger?"
"of course poo bear. what happens to klinger *click* after an invasion?"
"i give up," says the klingerbot.
"he gets *click* sterilized, his head shaved, and a chip put in his brain."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 22, 2013 15:53:02 GMT -6
"Bwah hah hah. No one tells a joke about Klanger the way you do, Sweetums," the Klingerbot 2000 says.
"So will you tell me the secret codes, *click* my love?" Anne Droid asks.
"Certainly, dear heart, they are...."
From an undetectable spaceship orbiting the earth, an unseen figure watching them on a monitor folds his hands together and says, "Good... good..."
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Post by mh on Dec 22, 2013 16:11:31 GMT -6
"and *click*," says anne, "since even with the codes, I can't get in without a recognizable handprint ..."
she pulls off the klingerbot's right hand that she had been holding, and hurries away.
watching her leave, the klinger bot says, "it must be aluminum, 'cause titanium don't shake that way!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 22, 2013 17:48:41 GMT -6
Anne Droid enters the secret code and then places Klingerbot 2000's palm against the sensor panel. With a click, the back door opens and she steps inside.
Kenny and Buddy are sampling the latest egg nog flavored malt liquor in the breakroom when Anne Droid passes the doorway. "Hey," Kenny exclaims. "What the heck are you doing in here?" Anne Droid turns and two rays shoot out of her eyes, stunning them. Kenny and Buddy slump in their chairs, sliding under the table.
Anne Droid continues up the hallway, looking left and right. Finally, she finds the room she's looking for.
Steve is sitting at the large Monkey Alliance computer terminal when Anne Droid enters the room. "What the....?" he exclaims as another beam shoots from the robot's eyes.
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Post by mh on Dec 22, 2013 21:06:53 GMT -6
steve slings a 'hot-pocket*' at her, rolls under the table and gets on his wrist radio, adapted by kenny & buddy from the 1990 dick tracy movie.
"monkey alert!" he screams, "monkey alert!! we've been compromised!!!" "compromised," exclaims the doctor. "that means either you're friend is getting unwelcomed romantic attention, or anne droid has gained access to your strip mall lair. i hope this fellow can keep her busy for a few minutes.""steve?!" exclaims babu baboon. *hot-pockets. copyright Nestlés Inc.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 23, 2013 13:13:48 GMT -6
As Anne Droid tries to blast Steve, Gil suddenly walks into the room eating a hot pocket. "Hey, Steve! Did you see Kenny and Buddy? They're passed out drunk!"
Anne Droid turns her head around all the way and sends a blast towards Gil. Gil lets out a girlish shriek, dropping his hot pocket, and grabs a side panel from an unassembled computer. The ray bounces off the super reflective surface and gil races across the room holding the panel in front of him.
Joining Steve under the table, Gil shrieks, "Who the heck is that?" as another blast bounces off the panel.
"I don't know!" Steve cries.
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