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Post by mh on Feb 3, 2014 23:56:30 GMT -6
a giant worm erupts thru the floor of the monastery with a horrid scream, and as the m.a. members fall back, a large round flying saucer appears.
a door opens, and gary degaton is inside. "get in my daughter!" degaton screams.
"they come too!" she replies.
"no!" yells degaton.
"then neither do i!" yells gertrude.
"drat," replies degaton.
in moments, all the m.a. members, the interns, deskboy, gilda, and falafel-lad are in the saucer.
"you see, "gary degaton explains, "this ship is like that doctor fellows -- but better! it can move thru some layers of time, but will occasionally blow up in the attempt! and it is exactly the same size on the inside as it is on the outside! let's see him try to top that! by the way my daughter, why are you sitting in that buffoon's lap?"
"i'm still weak!" replies gertrude.
"ouch. I think you're sittin' on my keys," says mh.
"we gotta find a way to stop this thing, "says babu. "d-b, what'll happen if we can't get that worm under control?"
"ummm, "you don't wanna know," replies deskboy.
"and what happens as far as time & space?" asks drivaan.
"omg, you REALLY don't wanna know," replies deskboy, putting his head in his hands.
"stop saying that!" screams gary degaton.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 11, 2014 11:25:10 GMT -6
"I think I do want to know," Drivtaan says.
"The worm bores its way through time as well as space," Desk-boy says.
"What exactly does that mean?" Doc Quantum asks.
"If the worm eats you, you don't just die," Desk-Boy says. "You will never have existed."
"How did I know he was going to say something like that?" Babu sighs.
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Post by mh on Feb 14, 2014 23:23:58 GMT -6
"well," says kenny, "me and buddy brung a fifty pound bag of 'worm-away'. maybe that'll did something to it."
"i don't know how or why you managed to drag that in there without anyone noticing," says babu, "but why not just dump it?"
"we got nothing to lose,"says deskboy, "degaton, open the hatch!"
"this is exciting!" squeals gertrude degaton, bouncing up & down.
"here, "says mh lifting & handing her off to doc quantum's lap, "you take her for a while." |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 21, 2014 11:29:10 GMT -6
Kenny and Buddy drop the bag of worm-away out the hatch of Degaton's saucer. It lands straight in the worm's mouth.
The worm begins to writhe and twitch. It lets out a horrifying screach.
I don't know if it's enough to kill it, but we've definitely hurt it!" Babu says.
"It's bringing the place down!" MH yells as falling stone fills the view screen.
"I hope the shields will hild," Degaton says.
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Post by mh on Feb 24, 2014 21:35:46 GMT -6
"we made it!" exclaims degaton.
landing, they all start to get out, as the old monastery collapses.
"the worm is leaving!" exclaims deskboy. "and look, i snagged the book! mh's ancestor has descended into the wormhole too."
"what're you gonna do with the book, "asks babu.
"i hope to destroy it," says deskboy. "but there are a buttwad of protective spells on it. maybe i can rip out all the pages."
the book suddenly disappears.
"dammit!" exclaims deskboy.
"gahhh, I feel faint," says gertrude degaton, and collapses into mh's arms.
"daughter, get away from that thing!" screams gary degaton. "i will go thru time & get you the real paul kirk!"
"no, i like this screwed up one," exclaims gertrude, still trying to act semi-unconscious.
"screwed up?" asks mh, confused. "me?"
"unnn,"says gilda, the former transcribing lass, "i hit my head on that dumb fake tardis, " and kenny & buddy catch her as she faints for real. face down with her rear sticking in the air.
"i never noticed before, but transcribing lass has quite a derriere on her!" says deskboy.
"perv!" yells gertrude degaton. "but anyway, the monkey alliance revenge squad is officially disbanded!"
"dammit!" cries falafel lad. "babu baboon, it's all yer fault!" taking a hot falafel & drawing back, he prepares to launch it at babu.
instantly, doc quantum knocks him cold.
"thanks doc," says babu. "those things are hell to get out of your fur!" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 15, 2014 17:50:56 GMT -6
Degaton's craft lands in front of the Mall of Justice, drawing amazed stares from shoppers. "Here we are now," Degaton says. "So get the hell off my ship."
"Yeah, thanks for the ride, baldy," MH says as they turn to disembark."
"Nooo," Gertrude suddenly says, throwing herself on MH. "You can't go! We can't be seperated again!"
Seven hells, girl!" Degaton shouts. "Get off him! You're embaressing me in front of my arch-enemies!"
MH finally untangles himself from Gertrude and they all exit Degaton's craft. "Dang," MH says. "Here I thought I had inherited a mansion and it turned out to be part of an elaborate revenge plot."
"Ah, the place done smelled like mothballs anyway," Kenny says.
"The missus isn't going to like that we're not going to be rich land barons," MH sighs.
"She'll get over it," Babu says. "My wife is used to all kinds of weirdness these days. So the fact that your family mansion was thrown backwards through time after a giant worm was driven back to the netherworld should come as no surprise to Mrs. MH."
"At least this is all over and done with and we'll never have to worry about that book or your evil ancestor again," Doc Quantum says.
As they head back to their headquarters, there's a pop and the book appears, lying in the gutter by the sidewalk. A singing homeless guy pushing a shopping cart passes by and sees it. "Hmm," he says, picking it up. He tosses it into the buggy, and starts puching the buggy and singing again.
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Post by Jacinto on Jan 5, 2024 23:24:35 GMT -6
We would like to thank you again for the gorgeous ideas you
gave Jeremy when preparing her post-graduate research as well as, most importantly, pertaining to providing many of the ideas within a blog post.
Provided we had known of your website a year ago, we'd have been rescued
from the unnecessary measures we were employing. Thanks to you.
toys for adults
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Post by Doc Quantum on Jan 8, 2024 19:26:59 GMT -6
We would like to thank you again for the gorgeous ideas you gave Jeremy when preparing her post-graduate research as well as, most importantly, pertaining to providing many of the ideas within a blog post. Provided we had known of your website a year ago, we'd have been rescued from the unnecessary measures we were employing. Thanks to you. toys for adults
Ideas Guru: "Yo, Jeremy! My fellow warrior of the post-grad battlefield! Word on the street is that you're drowning in your academic struggles. Fear not, for I have arrived with ideas as sharp as my sense of humor!"
Jeremy looks up, completely confused. "Um, who the heck are you?"
Ideas Guru: "I am the Ideas Guru, bro! The Einstein of academia, the protector of blog posts, and the absolute heavyweight of caffeinated wisdom."
The Ideas Guru whips out a notebook and starts scribbling like it's the end of the world. "Your post-grad research is about to go through a massive glow-up, my dude. Brace yourself for mind-blowing brilliance!"
He hands Jeremy the notebook, filled to the brim with brilliant sketches and genius ideas.
Jeremy: "But how did you even know I needed help?"
Ideas Guru, leaning in: "Oh, I have my ways, Jeremy. Let's just say I have a sixth sense for impending academic disasters."
Jeremy flips through the notebook, his eyes widening with excitement. "This is freaking awesome! How can I ever thank you?"
Ideas Guru, winking and revealing a toy superhero action figure: "Chill, Jeremy, my amigo! All I ask is that you spread the word about the Ideas Guru and maybe have a blast with this 'grown-up toy' I brought for you."
The Ideas Guru disappears into thin air, leaving Jeremy dumbfounded.
Jeremy, whispering to the action figure: "Toys for adults, huh? Talk about a wild ride!"
With a frown, Jeremy pushes upon a lever beneath the cape that the superhero action figure wears. Suddenly, the action figure transforms into a dildo.
Jeremy's eyes light up. "Oooh! Jacinto's gonna love this!"
The End.... or is it? |
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