Post by Thai Ladyboy on Sept 17, 2014 18:36:12 GMT -6
Here's my level 35 character, Luke Cage. He's a hybrid tank and summoner character, which means he can soak up damage while summoning allies. He's also black, so he summoned Iron Fist. Black guys need a white guy to serve as the wingman. Unfortunately this white guy likes to dress up like an Asian.
Screw this, I'm calling the entire crew. Heroes for hire, assemble!
Okay, Jessica Jones AKA Jennifer Garner arrived first. Check out her clothes. Her right boob is about to come out. For Luke Cage. Cuz Luke Cage is black and you know what they say about black guys...
Welp, the entire crew is here now. Roll call, we got Iron Fist as the healer summon, Jessica Jones Garner as the tank summon, Coleen wing as the DPS/bleeder summon, and the chick in the red overalls as the ranged DPS summon. Calling out the entire crew like this takes its toll on Luke Cage so they only last for 30 seconds, then it's back to single summons.
The whole crew is now gone. Now it's just Luke and Iron Fist. He's a healer summon so he heals Luke from time to time. Luke is black so he steals cars.
Here's Luke trying to report a crime. Notice how the white policeman is completely ignoring him.
"Luke, let's get a white guy to talk to him instead," says Iron Fist. "a white guy who isn't decked out in asian tattoos and kung fu clothes."
"Officer, I would like to report a crime," says Captain America.
"Oh, I didn't notice you were here," says the police officer. "could you get rid of the terrorist behind me?"
Take a note of how Captain America has 250% more hitpoints than Luke Cage. It's because of racial discrimination, and also because Captain America is level 60 and decked in rare expensive gear (funded by the government.)
Here, the terrorist is trying his best to burn down the living symbol of freedom and justice, but Captain America doesn't even need to move as he automatically regens the chipping damage that fire does. It's cuz Cap is a hybrid tank/DPS character. He soaks up damage and he deals out critical hits like a motherfucker. The policeman is completely relaxed at the chaos that is happening behind him. Because he knows a white guy has his back. If it was Luke Cage in there you can bet he's already got his service firearm drawn and prepared to shoot at anything dark-skinned and foolish enough to move.
Foreigners must really hate America. Here's Captain America being ambushed by an army of Hydra Robots immediately after leaving the police station.
Captain America doesn't give a shit about their lasers. He's a tank. A few seconds after the screenshot, he throws his shield and those robots never knew what hit them. The last thing they saw was the number 235,000 floating above their heads. That's Captain America doing his crit magic and hitting your face with the power of a thousand freedoms, Hydra scum.
Here's Captain America watching a bunch of other heroes take on THE JUGGERNAUT, Lady Deathstrike, and Sauron. Cap is a max level character decked in the best equipment that Tony Stark's money can buy, but Juggernaut has a ramming move that will one shot most max level characters in the game. Recap: Steve Rogers does not need any more XP and there are a bunch of other heroes willing to risk their lives against Juggie. Cap stays behind and waits for the big guy to drop so he can swoop in and "confiscate" all the nice loot.
Juggie finally drops! Thank you Rogue! Here's Cap checking out the sweet loot that dropped from the fallen loins of Cyttorak. It's a golden chest of odin's bounty. A gift from the gods! Cap took the chest while the other heroes are busy with Sauron and Lady Deathstrike.
Oh look, Sauron and Lady Deathstrike left behind sweet golden chests of odin's bounty. America thanks you for your hard work, heroes. Cap will have to take both of these and get them looked at. By scientists Who Believe In Freedom.
I had enough of playing a character that can't stand in the face of Juggernaut so I brought out another max level fully geared character. This time it's the ever-lovin blue-eyed Thing. He has almost twice the amount of HP that Captain America has. It's cuz he's pure tank: soaks up a ton of damage (even Juggernaut's ramming move) and automatically regens HP without doing anything. He's pretty slow and can't dish out damage as fast as Cap, but each attack hits as hard as a mountain so it evens out.
He also looks like Hulk Hogan made love to a pile of rocks and had a baby.
Here's good 'ol Benjamin Grimm standing in the middle of a group of enemies. He's not doing anything, those fools are dying from Thing's reflect damage passive ability.
Here's Thing at the Avengers Tower accidentally bumping into Storm in her bikini outfit. Wanna know what happens to my Thing when it sees an almost half-naked chick?
...my Thing grows. Even Nightcrawler is surprised at how big my Thing got. Storm sees how awkward the situation is and tries to look away.