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Post by mh on Nov 25, 2013 23:00:54 GMT -6
the boy walks in carrying a huge photon rifle.
"okay mackerel snappers, "he says, "get 'em up!"
"so it is you degaton, "says babu.
"that's right subject #13986! you people weren't even supposed to be here! i'm on holiday! sometimes I go on a cruise as an 87 yr old man! I need to get away sometimes -- this seemed like it would be a lark! relax, eat some good food, knock off a few murder mystery actors -- who knew you and so many psychics would turn up? gertrude, you orchestrated this! you wanted to get your hands on that dna damaged, 5th generation paul kirk clone so badly ..."
"wait a minute, "exclaims mh, "do you mean me?!"
"oh, of course not, "replies degaton factiously.
"don't let him upset you sweetums, "says gertrude, clutching mh's arm, "daddy can be so hurtful sometimes."
'I love you my daughter, "says degaton, "but you're no talia al ghul! and he sure as sh-t is no bat-man!"
"oh hell no!" cries mh. "you did not go there!"
"ah, you'll forget him my pet, "says degaton, "maybe i'll snatch keanu reeves -- you'd like that dear."
degaton raises the rifle towards mh prepared to fire, and babu & the other members leap forward to try & save him, when suddenly reginald burst thru the door & slams into boy degaton, knocking him down. the photon rifle falls from his hands and breaks.
"swami!" reginald cries. "my wife found me!!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 26, 2013 7:23:42 GMT -6
"Look! The explosion of the photon blaster reverted him to his old form!" Doc Quantum says.
Gary Degaton rises to his feet. He's back to his middle aged self, in full costume, bald with a red goatee. "You've broken my chronal disguise," he says. "No matter. You'll all be dead before the day is through." With that, his form begins to glow and then dissappears."
"He beamed out of here," Drivtaan says.
"So he's gone?" MH asks.
"No, he's still in the house," Babu says. "He means to pick us off one by one."
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Post by mh on Nov 27, 2013 0:06:18 GMT -6
Reginald, is laying stunned when mrs. faversham runs in. seeing him she cradles his head in her lap.
"oh my poor reggie!" she exclaims. did that awful bald man do this to you?"
"you saw him, "asks babu.
"yes, "she replies. "i passed him on the stairs to the scullery, and when I told him I was leaving this awful place he said, "none of you are leaving here ever! what did he mean?"
walking over to the bar, babu sees the manservant making cocktails. taking one babu says, "listen geeves, things have taken a decidedly sinister turn. we need to get the ladies out of here -- have someone bring my car around."
"oh that wouldn't help sir, "replies geeves. "there's a terrible storm & the old bridge is washed out. but you or they can't leave anyway."
"why not?" ask babu.
"because you've all always, been here sir."
"whatdoya mean?" asks babu.
'geeves' points to a picture on the wall, and babu sees an old black & white photo marked 1929 & can make out all the m.a. members & the interns in it, as well as Reginald, his wife, and others. babu notices that 1920's creepy music is playing.
"i reasoned with daddy, "says gertrude, approaching babu with a smile and taking two cocktails. "he won't kill you after all! you'll all just be here forever. and you won't have to get any older! and i can stay with my darling mh until i get bored or whatever. isn't it wonderful?" and she turns & walks off.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 27, 2013 17:37:17 GMT -6
After taking a brief tour of the grounds, Babu returns and says, "I tried flying over the bridge and I was insantly transported to the other side of the estate ground. We really are trapped here."
"What the hell has Degaton done?" MH curses.
"He done got us in a time lock," Kenny says.
"A what?" Hairnutts asks.
"A time lock," Kenny repeats. He begins to explain, explaining the physics of a time lock until he notices everyone's eyes starting to glaze over.
Kenny walks over and undoes one of the cords holding back the drapes. He lays it across the table and says, "This cord done represents time. We normally travels down it from one end to the other." He creates a loop and says, "Degaton done created a loop and got us caught up in it. So's instead of going straight through, we goes to the end of the loop and back to the beginning again."
"But why couldn't I fly out of here?" babu asks.
"Because the estate is what's caught in the loop. It's like its own pocket universe now."
"I bet Gertude could get us out of here," Doc Quantum says.
"Why on earth would I want to do that?" Gertrude says, having overherd them. "Here I'll spend all eternity with my pooh bear." With that, she walk off.
"I'm sure she knows where whatever device is that Degaton is using to keep us trapped here," Babu says. "Maybe you should give her a stabbing."
"Hey, just because she's uncooperative doesn'tmean I shold stab her with my bundi dagger," MH says.
"It wasn't your bundi dagger I suggest you stab her with," babu winks.
"Dammit, why does everyone keep tying to get me to bang this chick?" MH exclaims.
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Post by mh on Nov 29, 2013 2:27:28 GMT -6
opening the door to the ballroom, mh says, "wait! i've got an idea! something most people don't know about us manhunters in that we love our dancin'! i must have seen "dirty dancing 2: havana nights" 100 times! i'm gonna haul von degaton out on the dance floor & shake it until she just can't take it! before i'm done she'll tell me everything she knows! she'll spill her damn guts!"
going over & taking gertrude von degaton by the hand, mh says, "c'mon you insane -- i mean you insanely beautiful woman. let us go & do the lambada. the forbidden manhunter dance of love!"
gertrude giggles uncontrollably as the set out for the dance floor.
"gosh," exclaims sandee, "mh is very romantic!"
"whew! luckily, we got nothing but time, "babu says with a shrug. "geeves, gimme another gin rickey."
"very good sir, "says geeves with a smile.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 29, 2013 13:45:44 GMT -6
To MH's horror, he discover's that Gertude is just as big a dancing fool as he is. They go from the tango to the merengue to the salsa, to the Lindy hop to the two step to the hustle and then back to the tango again.
"Come in MH," Babu mutters under his breath, "Hang in there. You can do it.
Suddenly, Gertrude dips MH and lays a big smooch on him.
"Uh oh," Doc Quantum says. "Mrs. MH isn't going to like that."
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Post by mh on Nov 30, 2013 0:09:45 GMT -6
mh dances gertrude past babu and mutters, "i just threw up in my mouth a little bit -- that's it, i've had it."
"no mh, "whispers babu," you have to soldier thru."
"wait, i got an idea," rasps mh.
he dances over to the bandleader, and slips him a wad of bills. after a moment, looking stunned, the band begins playing "doin the chameleon".
"is he crazy, "exclaims doc quantum. "that's the most dangerous dance ever devised by man!"
"you may at this moment be witnessing the single most thankless act of bravery in all monkey alliance history," replies babu. "look at him! like the song says, he's feelin' that beat right down to his gizzard."
darting out his tongue, and wriggling like a reptile, mh sends the crowd into a frenzy and they all join in.
"goodness," exclaims gertrude, "i've never felt like this in my whole life! i'm losing my mind! you incredible man, i must tell you everything!"
"okay, spill it baby!" says mh, darting out his tongue. "how did your father create the time loop?"
"it's in the boiler room!" cries gertrude. "the secret is in there!" then she swoons & collapses.
mh drops to the floor, crawls over & pulls a bottle of champagne from a nearby table.
as babu walks over, the interns are standing a few feet away in their lovely dresses, quietly sobbing.
"c'mon mh, "says babu, "the boiler room -- there must be something down there affecting the time stream. c'mon, snap out of it."
"leave me, "says mh, guzzling champagne, "i'm finished. i'm more lizard than man at this point. like they said in flashdance, 'i've dance right thru the danger zone where the dancer becomes the dance'. i'm done. all i can think about right now is procreating with a female lizard & eatin' bugs. go! save yerselves."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 30, 2013 20:49:54 GMT -6
"No way I'm leaving you here when Degaton is going around offing people," Babu says. He reaches down, grabs MH, and throws him over his shoulder.
"Dammit man!" MH snaps. "I'll not be hauled around like some sack of potatoes!"
Gertrude looks up from where she has fallen and reaches out towards them. "Leave him here with me! I'll take care of him!"
"Okay, you can haul me around like a sack of potatoes," MH says.
"OK, Jeeves, which way to the boiler room," Babu asks the butler as they leave the ballroom.
"That way, sir," the butler says, pointing to a doorway down the hall.
As they open the door, their eyes all grow wide. Before them is a winding stairway that seems to go on forever. "Uh, doesn't that look a little steep for a stairway that's just supposed to lead to the basement?"
"The device is warping time and space the closer we get," Babu says. "I don't think Degatonhas any idea what he's created."
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Post by mh on Nov 30, 2013 21:44:20 GMT -6
as they begin walking down the stairway, Kenny says, "hey mh, I found a cricket. do you want it?"
"yeas please, "mh answers.
he hands it to mh, still over babu's shoulder, and he, without a pause, pops it in his mouth & chews it. "delicious." he says.
they pass a door and babu opens it
"oops sorry fellas, "babu says and slams it shut. "yeah, "babu rasps, "if we can't end this continuous loop, i'm sleeping in my VW jetta with the doors locked from now on."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 1, 2013 13:01:26 GMT -6
"I don't know what that was and I don't think I want to know," Drivtaan says.
"Why is there even a door on the way down?" Doc Quantum says. As if in reply, more doors appear, each scene it opens to even more strange.
The wallsto eiter side of them dissappear and it looks as if the stairway is suspendedin space. In the distance, they see another stairway with duplicates of them moving in the other direction.
Other realities are seeping through, "Babu says. "I just hope we can get to the bottom before things are so twisted we can't find our way."
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Post by mh on Dec 2, 2013 22:29:50 GMT -6
"okay, you can let me down babu, "says mh, "i think my manhunter healing factor has gotten some of the rhythm out of my gizzard."
"mh, "you don't actually have a .. ," drivtaan begins, when a girl walking backwards on all fours passes them, causing everyone to recoil back in horror, and the interns along with Kenny & buddy to clutch each other & shriek. she continues on as if she didn't notice them.
"i changed my mind, "says mh clutching onto babu. "don't put me down."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 3, 2013 20:31:25 GMT -6
"Jeez, could this get any weirder?" Doc Quantum says.
As if in answer, the steps suddenly snap into an incline and they all begin sliding down.
"Yaaaahhhh!!!" they all scream as they plummet. They seem to slide forever, screaming all the time they race downward.
Finally, they come to the end, tumbling into a heap on the floor. "Damn," Babu groans.
"What's that noise?" hairbutt says. "It sounds like a muffled screaming."
"It's MH," Drivtaan says. "You're sitting on his head."
"Oh. Sorry, MH," hairbutt says, sliding off him.
MH sits up, gasping for breath. "I thought my brains were going to shoot out my ears!"
"I think I know where we've got to go next," Babu says.
"Where's that?" HisHighness asks.
"There," babu says, pointing. Before them was a door with light pouring out from underneath it.
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Post by mh on Dec 5, 2013 0:09:00 GMT -6
"even with my astute detection skills, "says drivtaan," and i must say, i was really smoking that belgian detective guy -- still, i have no clue whatsoever what might be behind that door. it could be anything."
"well let's get prepared for battle, "says babu, "interns, stay to the rear, and ..."
a voice sounds, from somewhere on the staircase, "mh darling -- i'm coming! they cannot keep us apart! our love is written in the stars!"
"oh fudge-sicles, "says mh, and he jumps up, pulls open the door and runs in, and everyone follows. then he slams it & locks the dead-bolt.
"sometimes the known is more terrible than the unknown, "mh says and slumps halfway to the floor. "taffy -- help me," he gasps.
dakota, being nearest, quickly grabs his arm, steadying him. "it's okay, mh. i've got you. you poor guy," she says.
"are you deaf?!" mh cries loudly in her ear, "i said taffy!"
suddenly they all turn & see a pair of twins standing a few feet away.
"what is it you seek, "the twins say together.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 5, 2013 13:43:19 GMT -6
"We're looking for the boiler room," Doc Quantum says.
One of the eerie twins points down a narrow hallway with light pouring underneath it. The group moves down the hallway and opens the door. Nearly the entire room is filled with a large machine that is glowing and crackling with energy. The space around it seems to warp like hot air in the desert despite the fact that there is no heat.
"Can you make heads or tails of that thing?" Babu asks Kenny and Buddy.
"It's pretty durn complicated," Kenny says.
"Yup," Buddy nods in agreement.
Can you shut it off?" Babu asks.
The two of them put their heads together, quietly discussing it. "We think we've got it," Kenny says. He reaches over and grabs a handful of wires and tugs them loose. Suddenly, everything goes white.
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Post by mh on Dec 7, 2013 16:47:53 GMT -6
the m.a. members & interns find themselves back in the mansion. it's broad daylight and everyone is milling around excitedly. the butler walks up, and shakes babu's hand.
"well done sirs!" he exclaims, looking at them all. "it's the best murder mystery weekend we've ever had! and you can count on our sponsorship. the publicity of having your group involved with us has caused quite a stir. we're going to have to rent 2 extra mansions to accommodate all the guests! 'east justice' is all a-buzz. oh, you'll have to excuse me sirs -- have a good trip home!"
their luggage is loaded, and the interns squeezed into hairbutt's mini-van, and babu's VW jetta.
"i want to sit with taffy, "mh rasps to babu.
"mh? you wanna done sit with taffy?" cries Kenny.
"shhhh!" says mh.
"well, there's no room, "says babu, "i don't where we can put .."
"mr. mh can ride with us, "says gertrude, walking up, making them both jump. "we'll drop him off. please forgive my pretending to be gary degaton's sister. i'm an actress! it is all part of the way we craft the weekend for each guest. and the bizarre staircase? all just a hoax. we try our best to make everything as authentic as possible. here mr. mh, we'll get you bags."
"mmm, sure, okay," says babu, a little confused.
"ha! it was all a stunt." says mh. "i guess i never 'felt the beat way down in my gizzard' after all."
as they all walk away, the boy who played 'gary degaton', babu thinks, gives him a slightly cold stare.
babu walks over to the bar where geeves is still pouring cocktails, and sees the "dead" fortune teller and the upstairs maid, along with Reginald and his wife.
"so there were no deaths?" babu asks Reginald.
"just one, "says Reginald, "we killed a good weekend!"
they all laugh & walk away.
geeves puts a cold beefeater's martini in front of babu.
"geeves, "says babu as he sips the martini, "you somehow always know just what i want."
babu notices a bead of sweat go down the manservant's forehead.
"that is not your VW jetta sir, "he says lowly.
babu glances out the window and sees doc quantum, drivaan, highness, and taffy taking their seats.
"along with yourself sir," says geeves, "those are the people that gary degaton and his sister would most like to snuff out."
on a hunch, babu puts his hand forward, and it disappears into the manservant's midsection.
"geeves, "says babu, "you're a hologram."
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