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Post by mh on Feb 14, 2016 23:16:08 GMT -6
the monkey alliance and the valentines day holiday special
 starring the monkey-alliance and some of your favorite assistants, fat secondary characters, weirdos, people you ain't never seen before, and interns
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Post by mh on Feb 15, 2016 21:50:04 GMT -6
on a crisp, cold valentine's evening the monkey alliance have gathered in the old monkey-house mansion den and in front of a roaring fire are having the traditional valentine's drunken sleep-over.
filling his plastic goblet with red wine, buddy says, "why ain't you guys done with yer wives?"
"buddy! as much as we'd like that, it tradition," says doc quantum, happily gulping some merlot. "they just have to understand. this sh-t goes back before the civil war!"
"that's rite boy!!!" exclaims special guest redneck superhero, 'the dixie chick', who arrived with doc's good pal 'beer-can superman'.
 
"yeah we all spent the early part of our day pitching woo at our significant others," says lothar, now it's time for bidness." and he picks up a box of wine and drinks right from the spout.
"i don't know what we have to drunk this crap, "says Kenny, slugging down some merlot and going thru his massive sack of valentines.
"we gotta!" says doc, "it's tradition!"
"durn! says kenny holding up a valentine for all to see, "i think i'm done in love."
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Post by mh on Feb 15, 2016 22:16:33 GMT -6
suddenly the television comes on:
"hello drunkards! i am fantomah, 'mystery woman of the jungle'! the first superheroine!"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantomah
"years ago one of you toyed with my affections! and tonite i will exact my revenge!"
"done what kind of revenge?" asks buddy.
"have you ever seen 'saw'? asks fantomah.
"unhuh," answers buddy.
"well that was nothing!"
"ghaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" buddy screams.
meanwhile on route 6, "dammit! we're late for the shindig!" babu says.
"it'll be fine says mh, "doc'll hold court 'till we arrive. and look at all these cocktail weenies! 'beer-can superman' will be so excited."
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Post by mh on Feb 15, 2016 22:44:38 GMT -6
meanwhile, trixina, justice city's most popular 40-ish 'jumping out of a cake girl' is inside a valentine's cake covered in candles, proclaiming, 'monkey alliance valentine's day 2016! Feel the burn!"
"hey you two? are we nearly there?"
"the doors are jammed!" says one of the interns who was pushing the cake.
"hey! which of them interns are youse anyways? i didn't get a good look at youse!" yells trixina.
"is it that you ah ... toffee? uh ... stye? ... uh ... anaconda?"
which two fabulous interns were ushering trixina to the fabled 'monkey-alliance' valentine's celebration, and perhaps her doom?
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Post by mh on Feb 17, 2016 23:24:30 GMT -6
"fantomah! did you know , apple just disclosed its latest desktop operating system - Mac OS X El Capitan, which received wide range reputation?!" queries velemoochi, the monkey alliance's newest hero/product-endorser, morphing from his power costume, to power suit.
"done tells us more!" says a quick thinking kenny, as he secretly pushes a hidden intruder alert button in his malt liquor cooler.
"what's that beeping!" says babu on route 6, driving his brother's prius with mh riding shotgun. "is there a door open?" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 18, 2016 19:55:17 GMT -6
"None of your fancy technical mumbo-jumbo will make up for the fact that Super Jesse broke my heart!" cries Fantomah. "You're all going to pay!" With a wave of her hand, a magical blast comes out of the TV. When it hits Velemoochi, he turns into a goat.
"Oh hamburgers!" Buddy screams.
Meanwhile, outside the old Monkey House....
"We've got to get this cake inside to show my poor monkey-man I'm sorry" Andrej says, shaking the door.
"Your Monkey-man?" Stav escreeches before leaping forward to grab Andrej's hair.
Andrej grabs Stav's hair and the two begin to tussle.
MH and Babu pull up in HisHighness's Prius. "Gaaahhh!! Trannie fight!"
"Quick! Duck down before they see us!" Babu exclaims.
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Post by mh on Feb 21, 2016 0:48:26 GMT -6
baboon does a donut, and takes off back down route 9.
"what the hell was that?!!" cries mh as they head down route 9.
"that was messed up! i gotta get my head together ...." mutters babu.
mh pops a cassette back in the radio. yes, a cassette.
"why do you keep playing that?" asks babu.
"i miss valentijn!" cries mh. "i'm done playing heartbreak music! now just sit back and enjoy ...."
"
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Post by mh on Feb 21, 2016 20:59:40 GMT -6
meanwhile back in the old monkey alliance HQ, lothar says, "where's beer-can superman?"
the tv comes back on and they can see beer-can superman running thru the wooded area outside of the old monkey-house and then diving thru the bushes onto "hairbutt lane", running with all his redneck might.
"run, beer-can superman!" cries buddy. "done bring back help!"
"so he thinks he's escaped!" shrieks the voice of fantomah. "so let beer-can superman face his too biggest fears! gas-station guard dogs and ugly cheerleaders."
"AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!!" screams beer-can superman in mortal terror.
"hey ... " says babu as he and mh drive past, "isn't that beer-can superman?"
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Post by mh on Feb 22, 2016 21:18:19 GMT -6
the ugly cheerleaders make beer-can superman hit another gear and he outruns the dogs.
"shoot!" cries fantomah. "if i can't stop beer-can superman with his fears, maybe i can stop him with his vices."
"suddenly he crosses a sign that says, "outlaw tractor pull! free admission! free beer!"
"whoop! whoop! whoop!" yells beer-can superman.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 23, 2016 12:46:56 GMT -6
Suddenly, Beer Can Superman sees that a giant tractor has come to life and is bearing down on him. "Gyaaa!!!" he screams at the prospect of being reduces to a big pile of redneck chutney.
MH and Babu drive pull u beside him. Luckily, the car is full of beer and malt liquor since they'd been on a beer run. "Quick, Beer can Superman!" Babu yells, tossing him a beer.
Beer Can SUperman shotguns the beer. Out of nowhere the Popeye theme starts to play.
Beer-Can Superman rears back, hits the tractor square in it's cartoony face and it's reduced to scrap.
"Good thing Kenny's not here," MH says. "Seeing that happen to a tractor would reduce him to tears."
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Post by mh on Feb 24, 2016 0:07:45 GMT -6
meanwhile arriving late, beer-can superman's sidekick, 'leroy, the american boy' drives up to the old monkey alliance hq, and gets out of his el camino.
"dang! this place sure is fancy," says leroy, the american boy, giving a thumbs up.
pushing the intercom on the gate he says, "it is I! 'leroy, the american boy'! and i've brought coors-lite and funions! hello? hello?"
"this one won't escape me!" hisses fantomah, and the grassy field north of the old hq changes.
"what the ... !" says leroy the american boy, that looks like my grandmas house!" and walking over he sees pamela anderson laying in his grandmas yard scantily clothed.
"*gasp*" says leroy, "my old fantasy has come true! doin' pamela anderson right in my grandma's yard!"
"hey, get away from her!" yells kid rock, over by his grandma's mailbox.
"ahhh! it's just like i imagined! i'm sorry kid rock!" yells leroy.
"come to me leroy, the american boy," purrs pamela anderson.
"i don't want that woman in my house!" yells leroy's grandma from a window. "kid rock can come in -- he seems like a good boy."
"ghaaa! it's all coming true!" yells leroy. "i'm sorry grandma!"
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Post by mh on Feb 24, 2016 1:44:46 GMT -6
babu, mh, and beer-can superman see leroy and babu slams on the brakes.
"leroy! it's a trap!" screams beer-can superman.
"pamela anderson glares at them menacingly, then immediately goes back to making kissy faces at 'leroy, the american boy'.
"we have to save him! we have to break him out of it -- using the power of america!" cries beer-can superman. "usa! usa! usa!"
babu & mh join in, "usa! usa! usa!"
"don't do it boy~!" yells a voice, and looking over leroy sees:
"no! not you sam ... not now ..." mutters leroy. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 5, 2016 19:51:10 GMT -6
"Don't let yourself be enchanted by this foul illusion," Uncle Sam says.
"Who are you calling an illusion!" Pamela Anderson snaps.
"And if she weren't, she most assuredly has the hepetitus C!" Uncle Sam says with patriotic earnestness.
"I...I... dunno," Leroy says.
"Do something, Uncle Sam! You're losing him!" MH says.
With a nod of his head, Andrej and Stav dissappear from the spot where they are wrestling against the crumpled fake cake with Trixie inside. "Get off me, ya damn trannies!" Trixie exclaims. "Hey, where'd they go?"
When Andrej and Stav reappear, they gasp in surprise. Stav and Leroy's eyes meet and it's love at first sight.
"Nooooo!!!!" Pamela Anderson screams in Fantomah's voice before disappearing. Stav and Leroy walk to each other as if in a trance, grinning stupidly.
"Well, would you look at that," Babu says.
"But Leroy, you's already married!" Beer can Superman says.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 9, 2016 12:23:54 GMT -6
"Leroy's married?" Babu exclaims. "He's a teen sidekick. How can he be married?"
"He's from Kentucky," Beer Can Superman exclaims.
"Shouldn't we warn him?" MH says.
"Hey, if Stav can get Leroy free of Fantomah's cluches, them more power to him," Bbau says.
"He?" Beer Can Superman exclaims. "She's a dude?!! Leroy! Look out! She's a dude!"
"Well, no relationship is perfect," Leroy says, looking dreamily into Stav's eyes.
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Post by mh on Mar 9, 2016 23:03:40 GMT -6
andrej runs over and jumps in hishighness's prius.
"dang!" says beer-can superman. "you monkey alliance fellas sure get the hot women! i got turned down by the 'dixie chick' today! the 'dixie chick'! who, to be fair, is considered crazy hot by kentucky standards."
"well, you don't know the whole story," says babu, looking at andrej who is smiling at him provocatively. "and I had to invite the 'dixie chick' -- i am the duke of paducah! excluding her might cause an international incident." |
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