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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 7, 2014 18:19:28 GMT -6
MH sits down to dinner with the interns. "The fiest you have prepared smells smply divine," SKye says.
"I've never had pig stuffed with rutabega before," Taffy says. "So this should be a real treat."
"We'll get started just as soon as ourother guests are seate," MH says. "He looks at his watch and says, "What's the hold up, guys?"
"We'll be there in a second," Doc Quantum says from the other room. "Just as soon as we get Babu off the celing."
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Post by mh on Jan 8, 2014 2:33:28 GMT -6
"well baboon, "says Kenny, applying a cold wash rag to babu's forehead, "yer sure missed a good time. the ladies was all exhausted from their travels and the broked down carriage we done made up. they went off to bed. they was tired, and skye said it'll take 'em at least 45 minutes to get outta all that complicated underwear! we had pork, rutabagas, and malt liquer, and buddy -- er, buderick played the harpsichord while mh danced with the ladies! i ain't never seen such pimpin' in my whole life."
"gnnn, where am i -- unn, i can barely move, "begins babu -- then, "wait! buddy can play the harpsichord!"
"no he cain't, "replies Kenny, "he was bored & messed around with it, and almost got to where he could played 'twinkle twinkle little star' pretty good, but it was too hard, so he fixed it where if you just think of a song and it'll play it. and you can press any keys you want to."
"now that's astounding!" cries drivaan.
"oh driv, my bumbling assistant. you think everything is astounding." says babu.
"but that really is!" says drivaan.
"go out & survey the grounds, "babu tells drivaan. "the game is afoot! there is treachery and unknown dangers on this eve! and i'm caught in the grip of this cursed absinthe. the green fairy! the emerald salamander! ... i'm ridin' the green pony!"
"fine!" says drivaan, leaving.
"babu!" exclaims mh, coming into the kitchen. "my old friend, you came! you must have traveled for weeks by train, horse-cart, pack-mule, dirigible -- i knew you would not let me down."
"well, sorry mh, he's done passed out from exhaustion," says kenny.
"but i didn't get any homey love!" exclaims mh. "oh well, he'll be fine after a night's rest."
"and you done wore yerself out from all the pimpin' you was doing, "replies kenny. "yer gonna sleep good tonite."
"no i ain't!" replies mh. "because unless i'm mistaken, a sensitive and emotional young finishing school graduate will breathlessly sneak into my bed chamber tonite! come buderick! time to help me on with my night shirt & cap!"
at that moment, outside drivaan spots a thin woman ouside mh's window. and silently, high above in the anti-monkey-mobile, basil snell, 'transcribing lass' and 'falafel lad' hover. 'falafel lad' has a sizzling falafel in his lap the size of a 50lb. bag of dog food.
"this is for babu!" f-lad exclaims. "now he'll know the wrath of falafel lad! where are monkey-man jones & dr. acula?" he asks.
"oh, they bailed!" exclaims basil. "gertrude probably shouldn't have paid them 7 weeks in advance! it's up to us now."
"great!" cries transcribing lass.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 9, 2014 16:13:01 GMT -6
Aiming for Babu, Falafel Lad heaves the giant falafel and sends it crashing through the window. It lands with a thud next to Babu.
After coming down from a heavy trip, Babu is ravenous. He lets out a growl and pounces on the enormous falafel.
As animalistic noise fill the air, Basil Snell, Falafel Lad, and Transcribing Lass watch in awestruck horror. "Good Lord!" Basil Snell says. "I haven't seen anything like that since I watched a Mutual of Omaha special where a pack of hyenas went after a wounded gazelle."
Transcribing Lass lets out a terrified shriek and takes off in a run. "Quick, man!" Basil Snell exclaims. "We have to stop her before she alerts them to our presence!"
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Post by mh on Jan 9, 2014 22:49:19 GMT -6
"wait!" cries falafel lad, "I got one more -- babu is busy eating, and I got a perfect shot! a direct hit will either destroy him, or make his fur all sticky."
he launches the second missile of hot deliciousness, and at the last moment, a figure leaps from the shadows and shoves babu out of the way.
"monkey-mask jones!" exclaims a bewildered babu, picking himself up. "you saved me! why?"
"because many years ago i made an oath not to allow any 'anthropoidal fraternization' leader who succeeded me to be struck down by any food related death missile, "explains jones. "unbelievable! it's as if our founding fathers knew. jeepers creepers, your fur would have gotten all sticky!" he then gives babu a thumbs up and disappears into the darkness.
"should I go after him?" asks drivaan.
"no, let him go, "says babu, brushing off a large chunk of the second falafel, and taking a bite. "that may just be a suit, but there's some real baboon in that guy. perhaps there's still hope for him. i just hope those investigation guys from that bigfoot bounty show aren't lurking around."
"he carries a photon blaster, "says drivaan.
"then I hope they are." replies babu. |
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Post by mh on Jan 9, 2014 23:20:48 GMT -6
"guys!" yells 'transcribing lass' as she runs into the guest house, "i had no part in any of this! yeah I was mad that you unceremoniously dumped me that day after 'tits mcgee' showed up -- but I thought we'd just TP your HQ or put a flaming bag of poo on your doorstep. these guys have gone way over the line!"
"you let her get away!" exclaims basil from the anti-monkey mobile.
"I couldn't help it!" exclaims f-lad. "she punched me one, and shimmied down that rope ladder like a chimp! ulp -- babu & drivaan see us -- and they look pissed."
meanwhile gertrude has snuck thru the window into mh's room.
"as she crawls under the covers, mh murmurs, "i knew you couldn't resist me, you temptress!"
gertrude giggles & snorts.
"listen my shy nymph," mh whispers, "can you hear? buderick is playing the harpsichord again -- that's baby makin' music!"
"i love it when you talk crazy!" exclaims gertrude.
just then doc quantum and kenny, who'd come to tell mh about the attack, come in with a candelabra, lighting the room.
"ghhhaa!! it's that face!" screams mh as he spots gertrude, then he jumps up & runs into the closet, slamming the door.
"dolt! you frightened my poo bear!" gertrude screams at them. "he was heading for first base, and the third base coach was waving him home!"
doc goes to the closet, opens the door, sticks his head in, then shuts it again. "mh said he doesn't think baseball has been invented yet, "says doc quantum.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 11, 2014 19:29:30 GMT -6
Babu and Drivtaan run towards Falafel Lad and the Spatula king. "Quick, man! Evasive maneuvers!" Basil Snell yells to Falafel Lad.
Basil Snell sends a spatula flying at Babu. It strikes him across the bridge of the nose. "Oh jeez, that smarts!" Babu says, seeing a haze of read as he brings his hands up to his nose.
"Curse his nearly invulnerable hide!" Basil Snell says. "That would have beheaded a lesser man."
"Well, lets see what I can do," Falafel Lad says. He sends a falafel flying and it hits Drivtaan in the belly.
"Oo! Hot! Hot!" Drivtaan cries.
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Post by mh on Jan 15, 2014 1:26:45 GMT -6
meanwhile, back in 'kirk house', doc quantum has managed to remove mh from the closet, and the interns, showing up in their victorian nighties grab Gertrude degaton, and shove here into the closet kicking & screaming.
taking a key from a drawer & locking it doc says, "i tossed one of 'his-highness's' cannabis bombs in there. she'll calm down soon."
"is that horrible creature gone?" asks mh, sticking his head from under the bed, his hands covering his eyes.
"yes, she's gone, "says doc. "you can uncover your eyes."
"but the students are dressed only in their sheer Victorian night-clothes!" exclaims mh.
"mh, we can see you peeking at us thru your fingers, "says skye.
"gaaah!" yells mh & returns under the bed.
meanwhile outside, "they got away, "says babu, as he makes the 'monkey-mobile' land remotely. "let's get the others & take off after them. gilda ... er, 'transcribing lass', says snell has mentioned a book of power called 'de vermis mysteriis', or mysteries of the worm. he's been searching for it somewhere in old 'parson's corners'. and mh mentioned it in a couple of the 37 letters he sent me yesterday! his ancestor talks about it in that book he's been reading. with this weird kirk connection he has going on, maybe he can lead us to it before snell can get his hands on it."
"you know, that sounds just crazy enough to work, "says drivaan. |
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Post by mh on Jan 16, 2014 0:07:08 GMT -6
"what is this infernal contraption," asks mh, "getting seated into monkey-mobile, and taking a swig from his bottle of absinthe, "one of those iron-horses I've heard so much about?! buderick come! bring my cape & walking stick!""
"omg," sighs babu. "now kenny, you and drivaan will stay with the interns. there may be more 'monkey-alliance revenge squad' members lurking. get in 'transcribing lass'."
"gee!" she shrieks jumping in. "and i don't want to be 'transcribing lass' anymore. since i've turned to the side of good, i am, "transcribing miss!"
"oh brother, "says doc quantum.
"no, your gilda again!" says babu, "and i feel slightly responsible for your turning evil, so i'm going to try to pull a few strings and see if I can't get you a internship at the mayor's office."
"mayor bruce campbell tried to get me to intern there, "says amber. "he said i'd be the perfect girl to, "ride the meat train to pound town" -- i'm just as glad it didn't work out. i'm not a big fan of train travel."
"as the m-mobile lifts up & takes off, gilda pokes her tongue out at the interns.
"not evil anymore," exclaims taffy. "yeah, right!" |
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Post by mh on Jan 21, 2014 23:15:00 GMT -6
moments later, they're flying over 'parson's corners', and are spotted by a group of angry townspeople.
"look buderick!" cries mh, "the locals are gather to pay me homage!"
they begin angrily hurling beets at the monkeymobile, yelling "monstrosity! tool of the devil!"
"i love you too!" cries mh, as the monkeymobile fills with beets.
"we're gaining on snell," says babu, "even with the added weight of the beets."
"well, they're done delicious, "says buddy. "stuff a pig with these things, and it's eatin' time!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 23, 2014 18:01:02 GMT -6
"Get a load of those people!" Babu says. "They're all carrying torches, pitchforks, and wearing period clothes. Unless someone's hired a bunch of actors, those are genuine 18th century peasant folk!"
"What the holy heck are they doing here?" Kenny says.
"Either Basil Snell's managed to transorm Parson's Corner or Gertrude Degaton brought old Parson's Corner forward through time. I guess we'll find out when we catch up with him."
"Look! There he is!" Doc Quantum says, pointing to a running figure.
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Post by mh on Jan 25, 2014 1:20:59 GMT -6
suddenly the anti-monkeymobile t-bones the monkeymobile.
"haaaaa!" screams basil snell. "you've fallen into my trap! that was me running, but a hologram! yer monkey-mobile has no chance against the anti-monkey mobile!"
"yer just mad because gertrude wants to bang mh's weird old freaky arse instead of your weird old freaky arse!" cries gilda.
shaking his head like a man coming out of a dream mh yells, "weird old & freaky? yeah?! well girly, yer transcribing skills are mediocre and you have no tits! deal with that!"
"yes!" exclaims babu baboon, as gilda bursts into tears, "mh is back!"
with a shriek, mh throws off his smoking jacket, dives from the monkey mobile to the anti-monkey mobile, and starts pounding basil snell and falafel lad.
"babu, stop this!" cries doc quantum. "with your powers you could overpower them easily!"
"nothing doing," says babu, "there is a time for old fashioned manhunter clone ass kicking, and that time is now! buddy, are you crying?"
"look at mh's fatass go," says buddy. "i'm proud i gived him all them baths!"
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Post by mh on Jan 26, 2014 0:07:53 GMT -6
as the pilotless anti-monkey-mobile plummets, mh dives from it, and manages to grasp onto the monkey-mobile. buddy pulls him aboard & they land.
"well there's the anti-monkey-mobile, " says babu. "totaled! the monkey-mobile could've taken a crash like that, no problem. oh, I see snell and falafel-punk running into a building. this ends tonite. mh, you okay?"
rasping, mh says, "i'm okay. but no more of that darn absinthe! mess you up! ..."
suddenly a group of townspeople began hurling beets at them.
"hey!" screams gertrude degaton, running up. "the next one who throws a beet gets it as far up their wazoo as I can stick it!"
terrified, the mob -- not knowing what the hell she is, runs away.
"gertrude!" cries babu. "those were authentic 1800's peasants! was this your doing?"
"no babu, i swear," gasps gertrude. "some other force is behind this! that idiot basil snell -- he's been seeking the power of some unseen force! he has no clue what he doing. he hopes to gain power in the dark world. which would allow him to taste my ambrosia!"
"yuck!" cries doc quantum.
"shut up!" screams gertrude, and she collapses.
being nearest, mh leaps down & picks her up.
the three interns, Kenny and drivaan show up next.
"she got away from us!" cries skye. what a bee-ouch!"
"we must hurry, " says gertrude, "go to the building snell entered. that book has to be destroyed. they've undoubtedly locked the doors, but I have a key! mh, it's on me somewhere. I'm sure you'll be able to find it! one clue, it's not in a pocket."
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Post by mh on Jan 26, 2014 14:22:23 GMT -6
babu kicks in the door.
"fine, there was no key!" gertrude yells at babu, "happy?"
inside they find an evil monastery, with pews and upside down crosses. at a large alter with a book the size of a high-end laser printer, is basil snell & falafel lad.
as gertrude and the m.a. members approach the alter, and kenny, buddy and the interns wait at the intrance, gertude says to mh, "you can put me down sugar-hips. i have business to attend to."
straightening herself, gertrude says, "okay snell, that's it, your fired! i warned you, no more devil-y stuff!"
the earth quakes beneath them a little, and an ancient-looking man steps out of the shadows who looks eerily like a portrait in the hall of kirk house.
"silas kirk!" cries mh.
"that's right, "says kirk, "or at least my spirit. clone or not mh, you're a real kirk! look at him! isn't he cute in his little outfit? you're a good boy! now gertrude degaton, did you really think it was your idea to move a huge mansion, stone by stone, many miles & thru time?"
"well uhh ..." begins gertrude.
the earth tremors again. "but i'll have power right?" asks basil snell.
"of course!" replies silas kirk. "you'll be one of the many souls screaming inside the worm! now that is power. as will you mh. i'm sorry, but i have need of that cloned kirk body of yours. take a few seconds and say goodbye to it."
"i wanna say goodbye to it!" yells gertrude.
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Post by mh on Jan 26, 2014 14:31:06 GMT -6
"the rest of you will be devoured by the worm, i'm afraid," says kirk. "except you three ladies in the back! i arranged that you three would be here."
"do you plan to sacrifice them?!" exclaims babu.
"no," replies kirk. once i've set up my kingdom, i'll have need of pleasing & flexible baby ovens! will you look at them in those nightgowns? i'll tell you, by 'parson's corners' standards these girls are unbelievable. parson's corners -- what a hog pen! i'd have taken all five, but i'm not a machine! and i've had my troubles with blondes in the past -- long story. plus that dakota's a little mouthy."
gilda, who has just entered, stares in disbelief and stomps her foot. "hey, they ain't so much! what about me? i ain't no blonde!"
"sorry," says kirk, "you did not make the cut. how do i put this nicely? you're a member of the itty bitty titty committee."
suddenly out of nowhere, deskboy appears beside kirk. "i don't like to mess around with other dark spirit or deity's business, that's really not me, "says deskboy. "but these are kind of friends of mine, and ...."
kirk puts out a hand and deskboy flies across the room and slams to the floor in a sickening thud.
"unnn, "says deskboy, "i knew this was a bad idea," and the ground shakes furiously.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 30, 2014 20:01:52 GMT -6
Desk-boy rises to his feet. "You messed with the wrong arch-demon, pal."
A torrent of fire issues forth from Desk-boy's mouth towards Silas Kirk. The ghost threw up his hands to form a shield, grimacing as he works to hold back the flame. He sends a pew flying towards Desk-boy, who holds up a hand, making it explode in a burst of flame.
Desk-boy breaths another torrent of fire at Silas Kirk and the ghost responds by sending a stone pillar fying towards him. Desk-boy sends a stream of fire towards it that makes it explode in a shower of rock.
"I think we're out of our league here," MH says.
"Enough!" Silas Kirk shouts. "I was going to wait for the summoning until after I inhabited my new body, but you have forced my hand, demon!" He holdsup his hands and wind begin to stir within te room as Silas Kirk chants. "Ul hast vogoth thu yugoth nal!" Te stone foor begins to crack. "Shast hule nos vogoth thasho nal! Tomar ru nostros vo!"
The center of the room explodes in a shower of stone as a giant monstrosity errupts from the floor. "Behold the worm!" Silas Kirk cries.
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