the justice monkeyhouse project episode 6

"well," says kenny watching steve & gill from a surveillance camera, "buddy, I guess we gotta done keep an eye on these guys!"

"who's the intern?" asks buddy. "steve don't look happy that she's there."

"i dunno," says kenny, "she's a wearin' a hat, and the camera is done too far away!"

"well, we'll find out," sayus buddy.

(which fabulous intern will join them on this adventure?)

"who do you reckon it is anyways, "says Kenny, "is it done taffy?"

"maybe, I don't know," says buddy. "it might be done amber or skye."

"hi kenny! hi boddy!" says skye, as she walks up to them in the deep woods.

"I'm not boddy! I'm done buddy! "yells buddy. "what're you done doing here?!"

"gill, you're so sweet!" exclaims amber.

"gosh," exclaims gill to steve, "amber is as tan as a mahogany coffee table!"

"calm down gill," says steve, "don't be a chump!"

suddenly a hobo appears before them.

"hey! you don't wanna go into those woods!" he exclaims.

"wait! why not?" asks steve.

"i'll tell you if the girly will give me a kiss!" says the hobo.

"not happening!" yells amber. "wait, I got a ball-peen hammer here somewhere ..."

and she goes digging thru her backback.

"let's not go crazy!" cries the hobo."i'm not choosey! i'll take a kiss from either one of you!" 

"oh good! I found the hammer!" yells amber.

"okay fine -- I'm going!" exclaims the hobo, as he runs away.

suddenly amber's foot hits a lever, and a hologram of 'the undead rajah' comes up. 

"hello!" cries the rajah. you must somehow be connected to 'the anthropoidal fraternization' -- or you would have received a quite monstrous shock! i hope we have not murdered too many hobos. but you have managed to slightly unsnarl the mystery of 'undead rajah island'. it is connected to justice city by a hidden peninsula!"

"wait! if there is a peninsula, it isn't an island!" exclaims steve.

"it's hidden, college boy!" exclaims the hologram. "so it's an island!"   

"the undead rajah, of the anthropoidal fraternization!" exclaims doc. "what an amazing fellow! i've been transfixed by their exciting & bizarre yarns as the interns have been transcribing them. what tales of derring do!"

"what're you guys done doing here?" exclaims kenny, "me and buddy had this done under control."

"well uhh yeah," says babu.

"baboon, you said steve and gil would die of exposure within 24 hours, "exclaims mh, "and that, considering the amount of malt liquor that kenny and buddy took with them, they would succumb to alcoholic paralysis hours later and be eaten by hedgehogs! that's what you said!"

"dammit!" cries babu, "mh, why do i continue to take you into my confidence?!"

"and that was before I realized amber went with them. she'd have brought them back safely. after all, she is the second 'smart one' after dakota."

"what the hell?!" exclaims skye, enraged. "where'd you get that sh-t?! i'm the second smart one after dakota! everyone knows that!"  

"well she certainly is the feisty one," mh whispers to babu.

"yes she is," babu replies.            

"that was our downfall," continues the rajah, "we became prisoners of our own fame!"

"darn," rasps gil, "why couldn't i have lived back then! even a gopher could'a got lucky, with girls buyin' guys islands and stuff."

"this island has not had outsiders visit it's shores in more than 70 years, "continues the rajah, looking troubled, " ... drat!"

"what's wrong rajah?" exclaims amber.

"i have to go!" he says, "i have a hot-pocket in the microwave -- in ten more seconds it'll be ruined!"

the hologram fades away.

"i think there might be a mystery here," says amber, "i sounded like the rajah was about to tell us something ..."

"it's always the same with you shorties," says steve, "always going all nancy drew about everything! that stuff's ancient history. gill and i are gonna survey the heck out of this land-mass!" he says pulling out his folder to take notes, "and no weird stuff!"

"well anyway, "says amber, "i think we should make a basecamp. "that's what dakota would do."

"i agree," says steve.

"they're makin' camp," says skye, watching thru binoculars.

"then we'll do likewise, "says babu.

"she didn't even bring marshmellows," murmurs skye, still looking thru the binoculars, "the second smart one my ass."     

the rain stops & twilight descends. "listen," says baboon, "mh & i are going in. there's a weird looking boat there at the river -- we'd better check it out. you three stay as close as possible, and if any real trouble comes up -- which doesn't look likely, call in backup."

meanwhile amber, steve and gill are talking to a guy wearing a long hood & cloak on a raft.

"lemme get this straight, "says amber, "for a buck seventy-five, you'll take us across the river. all three of us?"

the figure holds up five bony fingers.

"five!" says steve, "but there are only ..."

"hi guys!" exclaims babu, "mh took a bunch of over the counter cold medicine, and got lost in the woods! so i came out to find him, and by a weird coincidence, we ran into you guys! crazy huh?"

"yep, I'm quite the character, "says mh, "what'll i do next?" 

"mh, try to focus, "says babu.

"it's creepy out here, "says gill," we should'a stayed at camp and moved on in the morning."

"we have to keep moving, "says steve. "there's a 'game of thrones' marathon starting on monday, and i plan on doing some binge-watching."  

"listen captain," says mh, staggering up to the ferryman, who is guiding the boat with a long stick. "i got a complaint! it's about the cabin boy!"

"oh crap, here we go," says babu.

the ferryman looks around and shrugs his shoulders.

"he's a dirty little nipper!" says mh.

"whah umm nidd?" (what him did?) asks the ferryman, under his hood.

"he filled his ass with broken glass, and circumcised the skipper!" exclaims mh.

"ghimphers mfaslt! um shuld nad nhecked urst!" (skippers fault! him should had checked first!) exclaims the ferryman.