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Post by mh on Sept 23, 2014 22:27:40 GMT -6
mister sassy tassel's big sexy adventure starring mister sassy tassels, the monkey alliance interns and members of the world famous monkey alliance
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Post by mh on Sept 23, 2014 22:38:40 GMT -6
mister sassy tassels was at meaty magee's with his assistant connie. "i don't know connie," he says, "i don't know if i'll ever find another message bord to make my home. i was already expelled from 'cbr' and 'the big sexy clique' because of my questionable content! i guess i'm just too real for most people.
"nonsense!" says connie. "it's just that you're ahead of your time."
a waitress walks up holding a pair of chinos. "sir," she says, "could we get you to put these on? we're a 'pants only' establishment."
hairbutt and j.n. weasel are at another table enjoying a brisket.
"that guy's not a'wearin' ther pants!" exclaims j.n. weasel.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Sept 26, 2014 12:14:39 GMT -6
"I think I can see his wedding tackle," J.N. Weasel says.
"Don't talk about it! I'm trying to eat!" Hairbutt says.
Sassy Tassels finally gives in and puts on the pants. "Look at me! I look ridiculous! They're green and pink plaid!"
"Which is more ridiculous? Those or no pants?" Connie says.
"I'm a sock monkey. Monkeys don't wear pants," Sassy Tassels says. "Babu Baboon comes in here all the time and he doesn't wear pants!"
"Babu is s super hero. He wears super hero trunks," Connie says.
"Well, I'm pretty sure I saw MH come in here without pants," Sassy Tassels grumbles.
"He was drunk," Connie replies.
"That's it! I'm organizing a boycott!" Sassy Tassels excaims.
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Post by mh on Sept 27, 2014 21:17:33 GMT -6
"he cain't be showin' his wudding tackle!" yells neilencio with his mouth full, who had had stopped in with some associates for some wild emu.
"don't listen to them! stick to your guns!" exclaims trixie, handing sassy tassels a comment card.
"mh comes in here pants-less and drunk at least twice a month! yelling that 'the council' is after him, and that his pants are trying to control his mind! and babu's shorts don't hide his junk very well. and the other monkey alliance guys are wearing tights. tights! like ballerinas. and i'm okay with all of that! i'm a very sensual woman. all the monkey-alliance guys are kind of into me. when they're in here, they're constantly undressing me with their eyes! but then you have those stupid interns on 'no bra friday'! where'd that come from? 'no bra friday'!? there's no such thing! honestly, on Friday, we got guys showing up here on their days off -- and their friends! then the m.a. golden age guy, 'pants-less wolf' show up for visits ... "
"well, I've had enough!" yells trixie. here everybody! have a look at these puppies!!"
and she removes the top of her waitress outfit.
"ugggg," shudders neilencino. "let's go. there's a mcdonalds down the street."
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Post by Sassy Tassels on Oct 3, 2014 5:50:03 GMT -6
The next day, the manager of Meaty McGees finds himself looking out the window at a line of picketers led by Sassy Tassels. They are all chanting, "No Pants! Not a chance!"
"Well, this is a fine how do you do," the manager says.
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Post by mh on Oct 4, 2014 23:13:11 GMT -6
the next day at the beautiful & stately mall of justice:
babu: this thing at meaty mcgees' is getting serious!
doc quantum: i thought it was just those animal rights people again.
babu: no! there some kind of 'no pants' protest going on!
skye: look at poor taffy! we can't get to meaty mcgees, and she's having the damn withdrawals!
babu looks at taffy who is glassy eyed, and quivering and shaking.
skye: that girl needs meat!
suddenly mh bursts in.
babu: dammit mh! don't you say anything!
mh: what?! i just went to burger king! i got a dozen whoppers and ...
in a frenzy, taffy grabs the bag from mh & runs into the other room. they hear ripping and tearing like a wilder beast in the serengetee.
mh: listen to the way taffy is daintily enjoying her lunch. *sigh* (looking inside) i don't think she'll eat them all. and there should still be enough for everybody. she's barely touching the buns.
the manager of meaty mcgees bursts in.
"babu baboon! you have to help me!" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 7, 2014 9:44:11 GMT -6
"What can we do for you, Mr McGee?" Babu asks.
"That durn Sassy Tassels has started a picket line across my property!" McGee says. Nobody wants to cross it!"
"That's terrible!" Doc says.
Everybody's going across town to that new joint, Meaty Mel's!" McGee wails. "He's gonna run me outta bidness!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 11, 2014 21:52:35 GMT -6
Taffy walks in, wiping special sauce from the corner of her mouth and overhears. "Meaty Mel's is just a poor man's Meaty McGee's!" she says hotly.
"Maybe there's some way to infiltrate the protesters?" Doc muses.
"None of the protesters wear pants! We could disgiuse ourselves like that!" Taffy says, pulling down her yoga pants to reveal her french cut Hellow Kitty panties.
Suddenly, everyone hears a thud.
"MH?" Babu says, looking down at the floor.
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Post by mh on Oct 11, 2014 23:34:23 GMT -6
"he must've slipped on some special sauce!" says taffy.
as they get mh sprawled out on the couch, "he's muttering something about a landing strip," says doc quantum, " ... is there an air field around here?"
gilda, the former transcribing lass suddenly bursts in and says, "i overheard everything! and taffy'll need backup. and as a representative of the mayor's office, i volunteer!"
rushing out, and using a nearby car for support, gilda flings off her skirt, and hurries to catch taffy. immediately, there's another thud. "doc, what's wrong?" exclaims baboon.
""them gurls aren't a'wearin' ther pants!" exclaims j.n. weasel, who is driving the car. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 15, 2014 16:54:16 GMT -6
When Taffy and Gilda show up at the protest at Meaty McGees, all the male protesters, clad in boxers and tighty whiteys, move to greet them. Potential customers start to move in the hole left in the picket line.
"They're letting people in! They're letting people in!" Sassy Tassels squeals to his assistant, Connie.
Connie quickly shucks off her conservative skirt, revealing her Supergirl thong. "Hey guys! Over here!"
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Post by Sassy Tassels on Oct 21, 2014 8:53:57 GMT -6
Connie's ploy appears to be working as protesters move in her direction, blocking the hole in the line that potential customers had started to slip through.
"It's stopped working!" Taffy exclaims.
"Okay, time to break out the heavy artillery," Gilda says, hiking her underwear up to give herself a wedgie.
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Post by mh on Oct 22, 2014 20:14:44 GMT -6
"those brave girls," sighs babu, "one of you guys needs to go in for backup! how about you mh? you like being pantless in public more than most people ..."
"well, i'd love to, "says mh, "but have you not noticed my new suit?"
mh had recently donned a futuristic looking 'has mat'-esque suit with 'manhunter 2121' emblazoned on the back.
"yeah i noticed, "replies babu, "i thought it was some sort of clone thing and didn't want to embarrass you by asking. i thought maybe you needed to breathe methane for a while or something."
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Post by mh on Oct 22, 2014 20:30:49 GMT -6
"you're close!" exclaims mh. "kenny and buddy had the idea of making me a level-8 human-bomb type superhero! more powerful perhaps than any monkey alliance member except for super jesse."
"so you can take off yer glove and blow stuff up!?" exclaims babu, in shock .
"no, we're working up to that, "says mh. "i'm currently ..."
"ebola joe!" exclaims kenny running in carrying a bucket & a forty. "now done stick in yer mouth tube mh -- i mean 'ebola joe'! it's done time for your dinner! i got a nice forty and some pureed pudding & fish sticks for ya'. now lessee -- buddy!! where's the syphoning hose and the funnel done at?!"
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Post by mh on Oct 22, 2014 20:50:57 GMT -6
inside his suit, mh is having a beautiful summertime dream.
"i'm ebola joe!!!"
"everyone, we'd better use the toilet in the mall by the arby's for the next 3 weeks or so, "says babu.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 23, 2014 6:01:12 GMT -6
"Hmmm. Well obviously you can't go if that thing is just one piece," Babu says.
"Yeah, I'm pretty much going commando under this thing," MH says.
"I did not need to know that," Babu replies.
He turns to Doc Quantum and says, "You'll have to go."
"Me? No!" Doc says. "Why can't you go?"
"Because I'm wearing trunks. Plus the appearance of a six foot baboon might be considered suspicious."
"Oh, okay," Doc groans. He pulls down his pants revealing a pair of boxers with 'Home of the Whopper' on the front. Everyone starts to laugh.
"Stop laughing!" Doc exclaims. "They were a gift from the missus!"
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