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Post by borgnine23 on Sept 3, 2015 22:12:00 GMT -6
And also i got corns. whada yuh think? Sepositories? Bunion pads?   |
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Post by Sassy Tassels on Sept 4, 2015 11:37:15 GMT -6
Dear Borgnine23,
Painful Rectal Itch, or PRI syndrome as it's known in medical circles, is a problem that has plagued humans since you first donned pants and it became impolite to scratch in public. Personally, that's why I never wear pants.
To be able to scratch politely in public, I recommend one of my patented Sassy Tassels brand butt scratchers.
Here's one of my salesmen hawking them at a local sporting event.
If you'd still rather take matters into your own hands, I'd suggest taking a tip from our canine friends and dragging yourself across the carpet. You can always pass it off as impromptu calisthenics. Hope this helps.
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