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Post by mh on Mar 9, 2016 23:25:08 GMT -6
as stav and 'leroy, the american boy' take off in leroy's elcamino,
 
buddy suddenly runs up and jumps in the prius's back seat.
"buddy!" cries mh. "what the heck's going on?"
buddy & beer-can superman explain about fantomah's revenge scheme.
"how'd you get away, buddy?" asks babu.
"she done let me go! 'cause i done had my heart broke by downtown julie brown*! i don't know how she know'd."
"but she wouldn't let kenny go. because of all of them valentines he got she's decided he's done a heart-breakin' playboy!"
*buddy had his heart broken by downtown julie brown in para-abnormal simian activity: an unrelenting glimpse into hell, starring the monkey alliance. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 10, 2016 7:10:18 GMT -6
"We've got to go back and rescue the others who are trapped inside the old Monkey Alliance Headquarters and at Fantomah's mercy," Babu said.
They all pile into HisHighness's Prius, packed in like sardines.
"ooo, this car smells funny," Andrej says, looking at Babu. "I think I'm getting a contact high. I sure hope no one tries to take advantage of me."
"Dang, how does he do it?" Beer Can Superman says.
"Hoo boy," Babu groans.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 10, 2016 7:28:47 GMT -6
They arrive back at the old Monkey Alliance Headquarters to find Trixie leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette. "My assistant is on his way with another prop cake for me to jump out of. And no trannies better smash this one! I'm still getting paid whether I jump out of a cake or not!"
Babu ignores her and says to Buddy," Jesse needs to clean up his mess. Buddy, do you still have that SuperJesse signal watch he gave you?"
"Sure thing, boss!" Buddy says, hitting the button on the watch.
Within a minute, every dog within a mile shows up, barking like crazy. Deathly afraid of dogs, Trixie runs off screaming.
"What the hell, Buddy?" Babu exclaims over the loud barking of the dogs.
"That done happens sometimes," Buddy says.
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Post by mh on Mar 12, 2016 21:29:08 GMT -6
"durn! let me done adjust it," says buddy taking out a tiny screwdriver.
within seconds, super-jesse lands, and the dogs all run "scaredly".
"what'd you all done want?" asks super-jesse, "i was a doing a skiddles commercial directed by my cousin joe hallen! they wuz gunna be our new sponsors."
"dammit!" cries mh. |
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Post by mh on Mar 12, 2016 21:41:15 GMT -6
quickly they explain the situation and babu says, "super-jesse, this is your mess -- we had a member turned into a goat! you have to fix this. Anyway, why'd you break her heart?"
"she were done a tranny!" exclaims super-jesse, "she done had an 'undercover brother'!" and everyone gasps.
"i guess some people are just afraid to get their world rocked," says andrej as she glares at babu.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 15, 2016 6:08:36 GMT -6
Super Jesse pulls on the door handles trying to open them so they can get into the old Monkey Alliance Headquarters. "Ngh! They won't budge!"
"Dammit! She's using her magic to keep them closed!" MH says.
"If only we had a member with magical abilities," Babu says.
"You rang?" a voice says from behind them. THey all turn to see who it is.
"Desk Boy!" MH and Babu exclaim.
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Post by mh on Mar 15, 2016 19:50:18 GMT -6
"fo' sheezy mah neezys!" cries desk-boy, clad in one of his more frightening physical incarnations. "how many centuries has it been?"
"it's been like a year," replies babu.
"yeah, that sounds about right. i lose track of time," replies desk-boy. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 18, 2016 10:58:38 GMT -6
Desk-Boy starts to pull at the handles of the double doors. "Ngh! SHe's really done a number here.
"What do you mean?" Babu asks.
"She's put a ward up to keep us out.
"Can you break it?" Doc asks.
"I can try," Desk-Boy says.
He begins chanting and a light appears in the small space between the doors, growing wider as the two begin to part as Desk-Boy pulls on the handles.
Suddenly, the doors fly open and Fantomah appears in the doorway. "And just what the hell do you think you're doing?
"We're taking our heaquarters back!" MH exclaims.
"Fantomah looks over at SuperJesse. "You! You've got some nerve showing up here after what you did!"
"What makes you think she's a trannie anyway?" MH asks Jesse.
"Wha.. wha.. what?!!" Fantomah exclaims.
"I done figured it out!" SuperJesse says. "She's got man shoulders!"
"I'm the Mystery Woman of the Jungle!" Fantomah growls. "I swing from trees all the time. I've got a gymnast's build, you asshole!"
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Post by mh on Apr 1, 2016 22:15:31 GMT -6
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Post by mh on Apr 1, 2016 22:29:48 GMT -6
"brat-pack spiderman? i never done heard of him." super-jesse says to mh as they hide behind a boulder.
"of course not, he's before yer time," says mh taking out his phone and going on youtube, "you see, in the early 80's, 'brat-pack spiderman's' father, a millionaire genius, invented a device that would throw a hundred pounds of silly string at someone in less than 3 seconds! thus the weird figure of 'brat-pack spiderman' was born."
"damn!" says super-jesse, watching the video.
another criminal apprehended. |
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Post by mh on Apr 8, 2016 1:07:28 GMT -6
minutes later:
"durn it! why caint juper-jesse just smash thru them durn walls?" asks 'beer-can superman'.
"other than it would done void our insurance, "says the always fiscally responsible buddy, "me and him just done tried to done slip thru the tv room, but unluckily super-jesse's favorite classic movie was done on -- 'ther man in th' moon'!"
"the man in the moon? oh fiddly sticks," says babu baboon grimly, "he'll be glued to the screen for hours."
"what? caint yuh just shake him?" asks 'beer-can superman'.
"yeah, if you want a blast of heat vision to the groin!" replies mh.
meanwhile, super-jesse stares at the flat screen, glassy-eyed as the beautiful stery of 'ther man in the moon' unfolds.
"... all my booords will waaaarp."
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 4, 2016 9:44:58 GMT -6
After some looking, MH finds an air duct to crawl through to get inside. Buddy is right behind him.
"So how do you keep getting in and out?" MH asks Buddy.
"I's a janitor's assistant's assistant. My training makes me an expert on getting through tight spaces.
"That's what she said, "MH guffaws.
"I don't get it," Buddy says.
"Nevermind. We're here!" MH says.
They both tumble into the room. MH sees Bratpack Spiderman's silly string shooter and he quickly covers the TV.
"Noooo!!!" SuperJesse exclaims. He turns and sees Fantomah who's about to blast him with her gerbil hex and he dodges out of the way. The TV turns into a gerbil and crawls out of the mass of silly string.
MH turns and tries to blast Fantomah, but the silly string shooter clicks, empty.
"Oh hamburgers!" MH exclaims.
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Post by mh on May 5, 2016 23:57:47 GMT -6
"stupid silly string!" cries mh, throwing the silly-string pistol at her, and rolling into a dive to avoid fantomah's gerbil blasts. then quickly taking up a defensive position and whipping out his 1916 broomhandle mauser, mh sees that fantomah is gone, and:
"wait ..." says mh. "who're you? another odd redneck superheroine? ... uh ... silly-string lass?"
"stop mh! it's done a trap!!" cries buddy. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 7, 2016 11:25:39 GMT -6
With the TV gone, SuperJesse finally turns around and says, "Woohoo! SHe's a lot hotter than Miss Manshoulders. We should make her an honorary monkette!"
"You cretin!" 'Silly string Lass' screams before turning into Fantomah.
"Now you've done it!" MH says, slapping his forehead.
"I don't understand. Where'd the hottie go?" SuperJesse says.
"Everybody run!" Buddy exclaims.
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Post by mh on May 9, 2016 22:04:40 GMT -6
"halten sie es für richtig dort!" (hold it right there!)" yells newly arrived german superheroine, 'human centipede lass'. quickly the weirdly clad figure snatches off one of her centipede guys and throws it at fantomah. it lands on her face, and covered in sticky stuff, it stiffly adheres to her.
"aiiieeeeee!!!!!" screams fantomah. "get it off!! you sick b-tch! who the hell are you?!! this is disgusting!"
"they're just inflatable dolls, you big-shouldered lockyhead!" yells super-jesse.
quickly, a figure in red-white and blue grabs super-jesse's cape, covering fantomah with it and ties her up in a knot.
"ummm! ummm! let me out!!!" she screams.
"we gotta do something with her quick like!" exclaims 'leroy the american boy'.
"leroy! i thought you left with your dream-girl!" says mh.
"i come back," says leroy. "uncle sam appeared in my elcamino & had a talkin' to with me! and my sweet angel is waitin' outside. i couldn't just go -- i had to come back. 'cause these colors don't run."
"usa! usa! usa!" mh, buddy, super-jesse and 'human centipede lass' begin to chant.
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