Post by Borgnine328 on Sept 21, 2019 23:47:03 GMT -6
Hey tassels. Anybody that knows anything about me knows I'm down with the kids! I always greet a millennial with, "what's crack-a- lackin'?!! as you young people say." Anyway, when this raid Area 51 thing came up, I was all in! As you probably know, I was up for the part of 'Ripley' in Alien, but I was sidelined with this goddam painful rectal itch, had to go into the Mayo Clinic for a while, and the rest is history. But weirdly, the first 'Ripley' action figures had been rushed into production in The Sudan with my likeness! Look at the muscles they gimme!
Anyway, I showed up at Area 51 in a white stretch limo, i'd been drinking Bacardi all day, and I was drunker than Cootie Brown! the guy who played archangel on Air Wolf was with me, wearing that damn eye-patch although he can see fine! people were going nuts! it was like Woodstock, but with ufo geeks!
It was an alien rave! and went on for hours. archangel fell in with Sheryl Crow and some other fringe celebrities who show up at millennial events to try to make themselves more relevant, and archangel drunkenly bragged to me he was gonna bang Sheryl Crow! I told him, "Her husband Lance Armstrong will kick your ass!" Getting his $89 dollar Walmart bicycle out of the trunk of the limo, he slurred, "he'll have to catch me first!" I couldn't argue with logic like that. Anyway, half way into my third bottle of Bacardi, this green goddess carrying a rare "borgnine ripley" figure embraced me! And full with borgnine lust, I rushed her into the limo! Long story short, I apparently signed the figure and she got $32,000.00 for it on ebay! And after many showers, my penis is still green! Was she a human/alien hybrid & and am I implanted with spores? Does she owe me a chunk of the 'Borgnine/Riply' money? Help me Sassy Tassels, help me!
