Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 4, 2022 19:39:24 GMT -6
Ambush Bug and Scabbard sat sprawled out in in Ambush Bug’s living room. Scabbard on the easy chair and Ambush bug on the sofa. Beside Ambush Bug sat his sidekick, Cheeks the Toy Wonder. The sound of cartoons blared in the background from the TV set.
“Do we have to watch friggin’ Super Squirrel?” Scabbard groaned. “There’s a game on!”
“Cheeks likes Super Squirrel,” Ambush Bug said.
“You do know he’s just a toy, right?” Scabbard said.
“Yeah, so?” Ambush Bug said before whispering out of the side of his mouth, ‘Don’t listen to him, Cheeks.”
“That’s quite a stack of mail there,” Scabbard said, changing the subject as he gestured to the coffee table.
“What of it?” Ambush Bug said disinterestedly.
“Ignoring bills ain’t going to make them go away, Bug,” Scabbard said.
“*sigh* I guess you’re right,” Ambush Bug said, reaching for the stack.
“Hey, what’s this?” Ambush Bug exclaimed, holding up a small sealed envelope.
He broke the seal and opened it. “Funky Flashman would like to invite you to attend an auction for a rare and powerful item of interest to everyone in the villain community. It promises to take anyone who uses it to the next level. Do not miss this opportunity to boost your profile into the stratosphere.”
“Villain community?” Ambush Bug snapped. “Doesn’t that cheap huckster know I’m not a bad guy anymore?”
“Still sounds worth checking out,” Scabbard said. “Where do we need to be?”
“Not we. Me,” Ambush Bug said. “No plus one.”
“Sure that’s a good idea?” Scabbard asked.
“It’s Funky Flashman,” Ambush Bug said. “How dangerous could it be?”
********************************************************
Ambush Bug walked down a seedy Alleyway to a metal door and knocked three times. An eye level panel slid open and a voice said, “Whadaya want?”
“It’s Ambush Bug. “I was invited,” he said, holding up the invitation.
The door opened and a large goon in a cheap suit ushered him in. There were several rows of folding chairs facing a table flanked by two more goons. On the table was an object hidden by a sheet.
Many known super villains were spread out among the chairs: Chronos, The Shark, Clay King, Silver Shrike, Big Sir, Doctor Light, Major Disaster, and many others.
In the back row sat a villain with a black pompadour wearing a black body suit with a white stripe running down the back. He was surrounded by several empty seats. As he got closer, Ambush Bug quickly discovered why he was sitting by himself as a wave of stink hit him.
“Oh man, that’s bad,” Ambush bug coughed. “I had my mouth open, too… Who are you supposed to be?”
“I am zee Stinch,” the man said in a thick French accent. “Aand you ahre?”
“Out of here,” Ambush Bug said. “Jeez, that guy wants to take it to the next level?”
He saw an empty seat up front, so he went over and quickly grabbed it. In the seat next to him was a husky, pot-bellied figure in a black track suit with white piping down the sides of the legs. On the breast pocket area was a white star and a black mask that didn’t quite match had been sown to the hood of the jacket to cover his eyes.
“Howdy,” the man said in a thick southern drawl. “I go by Flea Flicker.
“Ambush Bug,” he said, shaking his hand. “So you got an invitation, too, huh?”
“Yeah, but I ain’t sure why I’m here. I ain’t a bad guy.”
“Hey, keep it down, Opie!” Ambush Bug cautioned in a harsh whisper. “I’m not either, but you don’t want the others to know.”
“I knew that,” Flea Flicker said. “I seen you on TV. I figured me and you could team up or something. Like I did with the Justice League.” (see “Justice League: It’s What you Do With It” at http://WWW.5Earths.com)
“Maybe,” Ambush Bug said. “Lets just wait and see what’s going on here.”
“And the name ain’t Opie. It’s Eddie.”
“Okay. Just Hush up. Flashman’s here.”
Funky Flashman was immediately recognizable by his loud sports coat, a mustache that would do Tom Selleck proud, and a huge, wide salesman’s grin. He waved to the assembly as he took his place behind the table.
“Greetings and salutations, everyone,” Funky Flashman said. “My, what an impressive group we have here. “If the Justice League could see you all assembled here together, they would be shaking in their boots.” Ambush Bug did his best to stifle a snicker.
“Get on with it, Flashman,” someone said.
“I can understand your enthusiasm,” Flashman said, nonplussed.
He gestured to the object before him on the table underneath the sheet. “Under here is an object I recently ‘acquired’ from STAR labs. It was meant to be given to a hero, but I felt one of you gentlemen might have more fun with it.” A peel of laughter moved through the group.
“In all seriousness, whoever owns this will have their lives changed in ways they’ve never dreamed.”
A curious and somewhat excited murmur went through the crowd. Then, Funky Flashman pulled the sheet off, revealing the device underneath. “Gentlemen, I give you the Ultimate Amplifier!”
The crowd grew quiet. The device resembled a gold metallic version of the type of hand weight a soccer mom might use on one of her power walks. A few random lights dotted its surface. There were a few irate grumbles from the audience.
“Don’t worry. It’s far more impressive than it looks. Far more,” Funky Flashman said assuring with a sly smile. “It’s designed to interact with the metagene, increasing the power of the possessor immeasurably.”
Another murmur passed through the crowd. Most looked unconvinced.
“Perhaps a demonstration is in order,” Flashman said. “And I have the perfect person here today. Mr … Flea Flicker, is it?”
“Y-yes?” Flea Flicker gulped nervously.
“Could you join me?”
“Sure thing,” Flea Flicker said, getting up to stand by the table.
“Could you demonstrate your abilities on Mr. Bug here?” Funky Flashman said.
“Now waitaminnit!” Ambush Bug exclaimed.
“I assure you, you have nothing to fear,” Flashman said.
Flea Flicker closed his eyes and focused. Ambush Bug felt a slight poke on his arm.
“Huh,” Ambush Bug said. “Well, that was vaguely disconcerting.” A snicker went through the crowd.
“That is the extent of your powers, is it not?” Funky Flashman asked.
“Yeah,” Flea Flicker said, blushing with embarrassment.
“Pick up the ultimate amplifier,” Flashman instructed. Flea Flicker picked up the strange object, looking at it.
Flashman pointed to a nearby palette stacked high with cement blocks. “I want you to focus again, using your powers on that pile of blocks.
Flea Flicker looked at him questioningly. “Go ahead,” Flashman said, smiling. “Give it a try.”
Flea Flicker gripped the ultimate amplifier with one hand and held the other out to the palette of blocks. He closed his eyes and focused. The entire pile of cement blocks suddenly flew off the palette and slammed into the wall with great force, smashing to rubble.
A startled cry went through the crowd as Flea Flicker handed him back the device to be placed back on the table. “Do I have my first bid?” Funky Flashman said with a shark-like grin.
The crowd of villains began to shout one bid after another, each higher than the next. Ambush Bug could barely make out what anyone was saying as they shouted over each other like a pack of ravenous dogs with a delicious steak dangled in front of them. He had no idea how Flashman could keep track of the bids, but his smile appeared to be unbroken.
“It appears the Stench has the highest bid,” Flashman said.
“What? That loser?” someone exclaimed. “No freaking way!”
Funky Flashman’s jaw dropped as he found himself rushed by a horde of super villains. His hired goons were quickly overtaken.
************************************************************
Ambush Bug and Flea Flicker found themselves in the midst of chaos. The ultimate amplifier bounced back and forth among the fingertips of the villains desperately reaching for it.
The device landed in Ambush Bug’s hands and all eyes turned on him and Flea Flcker. “Uh oh,” Ambush Bug gulped.
“The heroes have the device!” one of the villains shouted. “Get them!”
“Grab ahold, Opie,” Ambush Bug said. “We’re getting out of here.”
Flea Flicker quickly latched onto his shoulders. The looming horde of villains was enough to make him ignore the fact that he had been called Opie again.
Ambush Bug concentrated, planning to transport them maybe a half mile or so from their current position. The device in Ambush Bug’s hands suddenly began to vibrate.
Suddenly, a hole in space/time opened before them. It looked as if they were looking down the end of a long tunnel.
Ambush Bug and Flea Flicker both gave a scream as they were sucked in the tunnel. Their equilibrium was lost as space seemed to warp around them.
As they came out the other end of the tube, their vision cleared and they took in their surroundings. Both Ambush and Flea Flicker wore horrified expressions. The sky above was crimson red. The air stank of smoke and filth. The terrain was marked by smokestacks and large fire pits.
“Where the holy hell you brought us, bug man?” Flea Flicker exclaimed.
“Hell is right,” Ambush Bug gulped. “I think we’re on Apokolips.”
“You mean like in the Bible?” Flea Flicker asked.
“No, the planet Apokolips,” Ambush Bug said. “Home of Darkseid.”
“Well, use that doohickey to get us out a’ here!” Flea Flicker exclaimed.
“Halt!” a voice suddenly boomed from above. “You are out past curfew. Prepare for immediate detainment.” They both looked up to see a green clad figure with golden wings pointing a laser rifle their way.
“I’ve got a feeling detainment doesn’t end too well here,” Ambush Bug said. “Here, hold this.” He passed Flea Flicker the Ultimate Amplifier.
Ambush Bug teleported with a pop and reappeared on the back of the parademon. “Guess who,” Ambush Bug said, slapping his hands over the eyepieces of his goggles.
“Unhand me, vermin!” the parademon screamed, flying wildly as he tried to shake off Ambush Bug.
“Oooo, what are these?” Ambush Bug said as he looked at the wing joints of the parademon’s artificial wings.
“What? What are you doing?” the parademon exclaimed. “Don’t touch anything!”
Ambush Bug slid the joint pin out and one of the parademon’s wings blew off and flew into the distance. “Aagh!” screamed the parademon as they began to plummet.
“I’d love to stick around, but it looks like this party’s about to crash and burn,” Ambush Bug said. With a pop, he disappeared and reappeared by Flea Flicker. They watched as the parademon streaked to the ground and crashed.
A siren suddenly began to wail. “What the…” Ambush Bug exclaimed.
“Dang it!” Flea Flicker said. “That big green goober must a’ had some sort a’ distress alarm built into that fancy suit of his.”
Three more parademons started flying their way. “Well, we’re boned,” Ambush Bug said flatly.
Clutching the ultimate amplifier, Flea Flicker held up his hand nervously towards the approaching parademons, closed his eyes and focused. A telekinetic blast wave issued forth and blasted the parademons backwards.
“Good job, Opie!” Ambush Bug exclaimed. “Looks like you’ll live to see Mayberry again.”
“My name ain’t Opie!” Flea Flicker snapped. “And I live in Wilson, Alabama not Mayberry! Now, are you gonna get us away from these gomers or what? Cause we sure don’t wanna stay here.”
“Good point,” Ambush Bug said. “He put a hand on Flea Flicker’s shoulder and the two disappeared with a pop.
They reappeared in a dimly lit corridor. Heavy metal doors lined the walls. Wide-eyed, Flea Flicker held out the ultimate amplifier to Ambush Bug.
“Uh … I think you’d better hang on to that for now, Bubba,” Ambush Bug said.
“The name ain’t Bubba! It ain’t Opie! It’s…”
Ambush Bug held his finger up to his lips. “Shhh” He walked up to one of the doors and reached to a panel at eye level and slid it to the side. He peered through the opening and looked. Inside, he saw a small figure, bald and undernourished, sitting on the side of an uncomfortable looking cot.
“There’s a gol-dang kid in there!” Flea Flicker gasped.
“Yeah,” Ambush Bug said. “And the poor little guy looks miserable.”
With a pop, Ambush Bug disappeared and reappeared inside the cell. The child backed up on his bed in alarm.
“Hey, easy little guy. I’m not gonna hurt you,” Ambush Bug said, holding his hands up and speaking in a calming voice.
“Who are you?” the little boy asked, looking up at him with weary eyes.
“I’m the guy who’s gonna get you out of here,” Ambush Bug said.
“Granny will be mad,” the little boy cautioned.
“Your granny put you in here?” Ambush Bug exclaimed.
“Granny Goodness takes care of us and teaches us,” the little boy said.
“Well, it doesn’t look like she’s very good at the taking care of you part,” Ambush Bug said.
He placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder and with a pop, they were in the hallway.”
Flea Flicker looked at the boy and said, “Hey, little fella. We’re gonna get you out of here. Okay?”
“Okay,” the boy said.
“Where are your folks?” Flea Flicker asked.
“I don’t have any,” the boy said. “I’ve lived in the orphanage my whole life.”
“Geez. This pit is an orphanage? “Ambush Bug exclaimed. “Well, any place has got to be better than this. We’ll figure things out once we’re outta here.”
“Are your friends in those other cells?” Flea Flicker asked.
“Uh huh,” the boy said, nodding.
“Can’t leave them behind, can we?” Ambush Bug said. With a series of pops, the corridor was filled with children. They all had shaved heads and wore similar dull colored pajamas, making it difficult to tell the boys from the girls. They carried sacks with their few meager possessions.
An alarm suddenly sounded, filling the air. “What is it with this place and alarms?” Ambush Bug exclaimed, throwing his arms up in frustration.
The double doors at the end of the hallway opened and several guards entered. “Halt!” the middle guard said. “Return to your cells immediately.”
“What if the young’uns don’t want to go back?” Flea Flicker said.
“Those cells are to be filled immediately!” the guard snarled.
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Ambush Bug said. “With a series of pops, the guards found themselves each in one of the impenetrable cells the orphans had once occupied.
“We’d better skidaddle before any more of those ornery cusses show up,” Flea Flicker said.
“Gather round, kiddos,” Ambush Bug said. The orphans all laid a hand on Ambush Bug as instructed and they all disappeared with a pop.
When they reappeared, they found themselves in a large, uninviting room. The floors were covered with mats. The stone walls were decorated with several man-shaped targets that bore blaster gouges and blaster scorches. There were several dummies that were either shredded, stabbed, decapitated or disemboweled. It appeared to be a room for combat training.
Once again, an alarm filled the air. “Oh great Caesar’s ghost!” Ambush Bug said, slapping his forehead.
“I thought you was getting’ us somewhere safe!” Flea Flicker yelled irately.
“It’s not an exact science!” Ambush Bug exclaimed. “How the heck do you find a safe place on Apokolips, anyway?”
The door to the room slid open and a leather clad female with a long whip entered. She wore a leather cowl with an opening for her long ponytail. Her metal headgear matched the metalwork on her leather catsuit and consisted of a ring around her face with a metal strap going across to reveal only her eyes and mouth.
“Miserable little worms, prepare to receive the thrashing of your lives,” she sneered, cracking her whip for emphasis.
“Okay, but before we get started, my safe-word is ‘apples’,” Ambush Bug quipped.
Lashina’s eyes grew wide. “You dare mock me?” She flicked her whip and Ambush Bug teleported out of the way just in time.
Flea Flicker held up the hand that was not holding onto the ultimate amplifier and gestured, sending Lashina flying across the room. She hit the opposite wall with such force that she crashed through the wall and a shower of stone rained around her. The sulphorous stench of the outside air of Apokolips began to enter the room.
“Whoah,” Ambush Bug said. “You just body slammed a New God! Good job, Opie!”
Flea Flicker turned to Ambush Bug, energy crackling from his eyes. “My name ain’t Opie!!”
“Whoa… whoa… hey big guy, simmer down now. Geez. I thought southerners were supposed to be laid back.”
“I think this doodad’s doing something to me,” Flea Flicker said.
“Don’t worry, pal,” Ambush Bug said. “You just need to hang on to it long enough for us to get to a quiet place so I can use it to get us all out of here.”
He walked over to the hole in the wall and stepped over Lashina to lead the kids outside. “And look! You’ve already created our means of escape.”
“There is no escape!” screeched Bernadeth as she ran into the room weilding her fahren knife, followed by the brutish Stompa and the cackling Mad Harriet.
“I’ve had just about enough!” Flea Flicker said, waving his hand up and sending the three of them flying into the ceiling. “I ain’t one for hitting ladies, but you don’t look much like ladies to me.”
The three landed in a heap, followed by a shower of stone that rained down on top of them. Stompa rose to her feet, the only one still conscious and attempted to rush him. With a gesture, Flea Flicker slammed her once… two… three times against the wall and she slumped to the floor unconscious.
“You’ve faced the rest. Now face the best,” a silky voice said. A beautiful figure who looked as if she were carved out of grey marble entered the room. She wore a blue corset one-piece and matching blue thigh high boots. She was followed by two more female furies: Artemiz the archer and Knockout.
“Hey, Darkseid! Looking good!” Ambush Bug said cheerfully. “It’s a wonder what those surgeons in Sweden can do!”
“Ha ha,” Pandora said drolly. “Darkseid is my father, insect. I shall enjoy popping your head like a grape once I am done with your friend here.”
Pandora gave a nod to knockout and the two rushed towards Flea Flicker. He gave a gesture with both hands, bringing them together, and the two collided. Knockout slumped to the floor, unconscious, havig been slammed into the invulnerable Pandora.
Pandora scowled, her eyes glowing red . Omega beams shot from her eyes and streaked forward. Flea Flicker quickly erected a shield and the beams bounced back, narrowly missing Pandora and striking Artimiz. With a scream, she was disintegrated.
Pandora gave an angry scream as she reared her fist back and charged forward, slamming it into his psychic shield. She hammered again and again and he felt his feet sliding backwards as she continued to pound away. Suddenly, he fell backwards, tripping over the prone form of Lashina. Flea Flicker gave an “oof” as he landed on his back on the ground, a few feet away from the hole in the wall.
Pandora hovered above him, continuing to pound away at his shield. She smiled an evil smile of satisfaction. Soon it would be over and she could present the dead husk of this invader and would be thief to her father as a trophy.
Pandora gasped as Flea Flicker’s eyes suddenly crackled with blue lightning. Invisible hands suddenly seemed to grab onto her waist and throw her hard into the air.
Ambush Bug brought his handover his eyes and watched as Pandora flew off into the distance like a missile, landing in one of the many fire pits that fueled the war engines of Apokalips.
“Woo!” Ambush Bug cheered. “Hopefully, we won’t be seeing that rhymes with witch any time soon. I guess now I can…”
Ambush Bug’s words were cut off by the sound of engines. Many engines.
“Aw dang,” Flea Flicker said, rising to his feet.
“Maybe you should hang onto that thing a while longer,” Ambush Bug said.
Before them stood an entire army. Shock troopers were on the ground. Parademons were in the air. Virmin Vundabar and Kanto stood in command positions upon floating platforms in the air. Kalibak stood among the ground troops grinning ferociously, chomping at the bit for the coming fight. Before them all stood Granny Goodness with her remaining female furies, including Virmin Vundarbar’s neice, Malice, Speed Freak, and Guilitina.
“Granny loves her sweet children,” Granny Goodness said darkly. “She doesn’t like when someone tries to steal them from her.”
“Halt!” Virmin Vundabar said imperiously, addressing them from his floating platform. “You are attempting to steel property of the great Darkseid. Surrender now und your deaths shall be painless. Defy us and your suffering will be unimaginable.”
A moment of anxious silence passed. “Do you surrender?!!” Vermin Vundabar demanded.
“Hell no!” Flea Flicker exclaimed, jutting his chin out in defiance.
“Open fire!” Vermin Vundabar bellowed.
The shock troops and parademons moved forward, firing their blasters as they tried to advance. Ambush Bug watched from behind the safety of Flea Flicker’s psychic shield as the blasts bounced off.
A menacing growl filled the air and Ambush Bug turned to see Kalibak advancing from the side. With a pop, Ambush Bug appeared on his back.
“Get off me or I’ll rip your head off!” Kalibak roared.
“What’s everyone got against my head?” Ambush Bug said just before they disappeared.
Kalibak screamed in horror when they reappeared over a sewage treatment plant. “See ya,” Ambush Bug said, disappearing with a pop. Kalibak howled as he plummeted to the muck below.
When Ambush Bug reappeared, the children clung to him in fright. He was frightened, too, as he caught sight of his new friend.
Blue energy crackled wildly from Flea Flicker’s eyes. Sweat poured down his face. The jacket of his track suit had split down the back, in the seams of his shoulders, and in the bicep areas. The side piping on his track pants split at the sides. It was as if his body were trying to strengthen itself against the sheer power coursing through him.
Flea Flicker continued to brace himself as the weapons brought to bear on him grew more and more powerful. Heavy canons blasted away at his shield. Bombs rained down from above.
Flea Flicker gritted his teeth, focusing with all he had. Blood poured down from his nose. The sides of his cowl grew wet and Ambush Bug realized he was bleeding from the ears.
“He’s not going to be able to hold out much longer,” Ambush Bug thought.
Apokalips was giving everything it had and the end was drawing near. A rumbling sound suddenly seemed to come up from Flea Flicker’s throat until it became a scream. “AAAGH! ENOUGH!!
A powerful pulse wave shot outward from the shield, going backwards through the forces of Apokalips. Parademons were swatted from the sky. Ground troops were flattened and rendered unconscious along with Darkseid’s elite. The floating platforms of Vermin Vundabar and Kanto exploded beneath them along with the rest of the weaponry that had been brought to the front. Granny Goodness and her furies, hit with the brunt of the blast were the first to fall.
Ambush Bug looked out at the stilled, smoking battlefield. “Wow… just wow. Whoever created that ultimate amplifier needs to get a patent on it ASAP. Am I right?” he said, nudging Flea Flicker.
Flea Flicker suddenly began to slump, his eyes rolling back in his head. “Easy… I gotcha big guy,” Ambush Bug said. “*oof*.. Geez you weigh a ton.”
Ambush Bug took the ultimate amplifier from him and concentrated. Another boom tube like the one that brought them there opened before them. Struggling under the larger man’s weight, Ambush Bug walked Flea Flicker into the boom tube followed by the many children they had rescued.
In the distance, a pair of smooth grey feminine hands reached out from inside of a fire pit to clutch the edge. Pandora pulled herself up, coughing, before she tumbled down the side and landed flat on her back.
Gazing up at the sky, Pandora groaned, “My father’s going to kill me.”
*************************************************************
Flea Flicker’s head throbbed as he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Ambush Bug grinning down at him and he realized it had not all been a dream.
“How ya feelin’, big guy?” Ambush Bug asked.
“Like I been livin’ off a’ nothin’ but my cousin Earl’s secret corn whiskey for the last month,” Flea Flicker coughed.
“I bet,” Ambush Bug said. You gave us all a scare.”
“The young’uns?”
“This place has the right kind of orphanages,” Ambush Bug said. “So they’re in good hands. They’re gonna be okay. You done good, Op … Eddie.”
“Thanks, Flea Flicker said.
“Plus, once their story gets out, Highfather says families will be lining up to try and adopt them.”
“Who?”
“Highfather. He’s the guy who runs this place: New Genesis. He looks Amish but dresses like the king of Mardi Gras.”
“Oh,” Eddie said. He brought his hand up to his face and started to raise up in his hospital bed. “My mask…”
“Yeah, you’re pretty much down to your skivvies and a hospital gown now. Your old costume’s a bust. But if it’s any consolation, you used to be built like Louie Anderson and now you’re built more like Lou Ferigno. So you still look sort of like a super hero.”
He eased Eddie back down in his bed. “For now, just lay back and rest up. Once you’ve healed, I’m sure they can whip you up some new duds.”
“Okay,” Eddie sighed.
“Hey, when you get back to Earth, maybe we can see what it’s like hanging out when people aren’t trying to kill us.”
Ambush Bug walked out of the hospital to find Highfather standing in wait for him. Ambush Bug looked up at the night sky of New Genesis: a cosmic panorama of colors unlike anything he had seen on Earth.
“Do not fear, Ambush Bug,” Highfather said. “Your friend is in good hands. Once his convalescence is over, we shall return him to… Wilson, Alabama, is it?” He smiled as if amused by a thought.
“What is it?” Ambush Bug asked.
“If Wilson is as you describe it, to think that such a place would be home to such a hero.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“He has been changed by this experience. And in ways far beyond just his appearance,” Highfather said.
“How so?” Ambush Bug asked.
I believe your friend will need a new nom de plume. For now, anyone who is touched by his power will feel far more than a flicker.”
“Huh,” Ambush Bug said.
“Now, as for this device,” Highfather said, holding up the ultimate amplifier. “Despite what this Funky Flashman says, I do not see how this device could have been created by your STAR labs. Not with the sort of power it taps into.”
“Frankly, it reminds me of relics of the technology of the old gods. How it came to be in the hands of Mr. Flashman is a mystery I would be greatly interested in unravelling. But that is for another time.”
He points his staff towards an area behind Ambush Bug and a boom tube suddenly opened. A serious look suddenly came over Highfather’s face. “The plight of the orphans under the ‘care’ of Granny Goodness has long been a source of heartache for us. The treaty between Apokalips and New Genesis bound our hands, preventing us from rescuing them ourselves. You have the gratitude of New Genesis, Ambush Bug. That is no small thing. If you should ever need our assistance, we expect you to call upon us.
“Well, there is one thing,” Ambush Bug said. “You might want to consider letting Eddie hang onto that thing. I can think of at least one guy who might be gunning for him now.”
*******************************************************
“All of them?” Darkseid bellowed. “You mean to tell me one man managed to defeat all the forces in your command?”
Darkseid’s elite stood before him with their heads downcast. Granny Goodness seemed to be emanating fear from every pour. After all, it was her facility that the invaders had penetrated and from which they had stolen an entire future cadre of soldiers.
“I am so very sorry, my lord,” Granny Goodness wailed. “We were not able to give you the victory you so sincerely deserved. My furies failed you.”
“It is a poor commander that tries to pin the blame for defeat on his or her own soldiers,” Darkseid said, looking down his nose at her.
He leaned back in his throne and sighed. “I suppose we will have to initiate breeding incentives among the lowlies just to be able to replenish our stock.”
He turned his gaze towards Virmin Vundabar and Kanto. And do not think I hold Granny Goodness alone in blame.”
“Not to make excuses, your highness,” Virmin Vundabar said, “but he was a force unlike any we have faced before.”
Darkseid studied the images of Flea Flicker and Ambush Bug on the large view screen. He then turned to Desaad who stood to the left of his throne and said, “I assume they were from New Genesis?”
“We are unable to confirm the origin of the one called Flea Flicker. Such energy emanated from him that it was impossible to get a genetic reading on him.”
“Flea Flicker?” Darkseid said, astounded. “Is he trying to be ironic?”
“Perhaps,” Desaad mused.
“What of this one?” Kanto said, pointing to Ambush Bug. “Clearly, he is one of those bug creatures New Genesis is infested with!”
“His uniform merely gives him the appearance of one,” Desaad said. “His reading shows him to be a meta-human from Earth.”
“Yes…” Kalibak said, shame faced. “He had… powers.”
Pandora did her best to stifle a laugh. It would not do to mock her brother in her father’s presence.
“Earth?” Darkseid exclaimed. “You mean to tell me these intruders came from Earth?!! Will that damnable planet never cease to plague me?!!”
“At your command, we can ready an invasion force to make them pay for this outrage,” Virmin Vundabar said.
“No… no… that would be hasty,” Darkseid said earnestly. “This Flea Flicker is an unknown element… perhaps the most dangerous foe we have ever faced. We must study.. plan.. before we make our next move.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, including Virmin Vundabar. “As you wish, sire.”
“Now away with you,” Darkseid said with a dismissive wave. “I must be alone with my thoughts.”
Once his elite had departed, Darkseid rose from his seat and moved to the wall behind his throne. He hit a hidden panel and a section of wall turned to reveal a hidden door to his private sanctum. On the far wall was a blackboard on which he had written the symbols comprising his unfinished attempt to decipher the anti-life equation. He walked up to the blackboard, stared at it in contemplation, then added a plus sign and the image of Flea Flicker.
“One step closer,” he said in satisfaction.
“Do we have to watch friggin’ Super Squirrel?” Scabbard groaned. “There’s a game on!”
“Cheeks likes Super Squirrel,” Ambush Bug said.
“You do know he’s just a toy, right?” Scabbard said.
“Yeah, so?” Ambush Bug said before whispering out of the side of his mouth, ‘Don’t listen to him, Cheeks.”
“That’s quite a stack of mail there,” Scabbard said, changing the subject as he gestured to the coffee table.
“What of it?” Ambush Bug said disinterestedly.
“Ignoring bills ain’t going to make them go away, Bug,” Scabbard said.
“*sigh* I guess you’re right,” Ambush Bug said, reaching for the stack.
“Hey, what’s this?” Ambush Bug exclaimed, holding up a small sealed envelope.
He broke the seal and opened it. “Funky Flashman would like to invite you to attend an auction for a rare and powerful item of interest to everyone in the villain community. It promises to take anyone who uses it to the next level. Do not miss this opportunity to boost your profile into the stratosphere.”
“Villain community?” Ambush Bug snapped. “Doesn’t that cheap huckster know I’m not a bad guy anymore?”
“Still sounds worth checking out,” Scabbard said. “Where do we need to be?”
“Not we. Me,” Ambush Bug said. “No plus one.”
“Sure that’s a good idea?” Scabbard asked.
“It’s Funky Flashman,” Ambush Bug said. “How dangerous could it be?”
********************************************************
Ambush Bug walked down a seedy Alleyway to a metal door and knocked three times. An eye level panel slid open and a voice said, “Whadaya want?”
“It’s Ambush Bug. “I was invited,” he said, holding up the invitation.
The door opened and a large goon in a cheap suit ushered him in. There were several rows of folding chairs facing a table flanked by two more goons. On the table was an object hidden by a sheet.
Many known super villains were spread out among the chairs: Chronos, The Shark, Clay King, Silver Shrike, Big Sir, Doctor Light, Major Disaster, and many others.
In the back row sat a villain with a black pompadour wearing a black body suit with a white stripe running down the back. He was surrounded by several empty seats. As he got closer, Ambush Bug quickly discovered why he was sitting by himself as a wave of stink hit him.
“Oh man, that’s bad,” Ambush bug coughed. “I had my mouth open, too… Who are you supposed to be?”
“I am zee Stinch,” the man said in a thick French accent. “Aand you ahre?”
“Out of here,” Ambush Bug said. “Jeez, that guy wants to take it to the next level?”
He saw an empty seat up front, so he went over and quickly grabbed it. In the seat next to him was a husky, pot-bellied figure in a black track suit with white piping down the sides of the legs. On the breast pocket area was a white star and a black mask that didn’t quite match had been sown to the hood of the jacket to cover his eyes.
“Howdy,” the man said in a thick southern drawl. “I go by Flea Flicker.
“Ambush Bug,” he said, shaking his hand. “So you got an invitation, too, huh?”
“Yeah, but I ain’t sure why I’m here. I ain’t a bad guy.”
“Hey, keep it down, Opie!” Ambush Bug cautioned in a harsh whisper. “I’m not either, but you don’t want the others to know.”
“I knew that,” Flea Flicker said. “I seen you on TV. I figured me and you could team up or something. Like I did with the Justice League.” (see “Justice League: It’s What you Do With It” at http://WWW.5Earths.com)
“Maybe,” Ambush Bug said. “Lets just wait and see what’s going on here.”
“And the name ain’t Opie. It’s Eddie.”
“Okay. Just Hush up. Flashman’s here.”
Funky Flashman was immediately recognizable by his loud sports coat, a mustache that would do Tom Selleck proud, and a huge, wide salesman’s grin. He waved to the assembly as he took his place behind the table.
“Greetings and salutations, everyone,” Funky Flashman said. “My, what an impressive group we have here. “If the Justice League could see you all assembled here together, they would be shaking in their boots.” Ambush Bug did his best to stifle a snicker.
“Get on with it, Flashman,” someone said.
“I can understand your enthusiasm,” Flashman said, nonplussed.
He gestured to the object before him on the table underneath the sheet. “Under here is an object I recently ‘acquired’ from STAR labs. It was meant to be given to a hero, but I felt one of you gentlemen might have more fun with it.” A peel of laughter moved through the group.
“In all seriousness, whoever owns this will have their lives changed in ways they’ve never dreamed.”
A curious and somewhat excited murmur went through the crowd. Then, Funky Flashman pulled the sheet off, revealing the device underneath. “Gentlemen, I give you the Ultimate Amplifier!”
The crowd grew quiet. The device resembled a gold metallic version of the type of hand weight a soccer mom might use on one of her power walks. A few random lights dotted its surface. There were a few irate grumbles from the audience.
“Don’t worry. It’s far more impressive than it looks. Far more,” Funky Flashman said assuring with a sly smile. “It’s designed to interact with the metagene, increasing the power of the possessor immeasurably.”
Another murmur passed through the crowd. Most looked unconvinced.
“Perhaps a demonstration is in order,” Flashman said. “And I have the perfect person here today. Mr … Flea Flicker, is it?”
“Y-yes?” Flea Flicker gulped nervously.
“Could you join me?”
“Sure thing,” Flea Flicker said, getting up to stand by the table.
“Could you demonstrate your abilities on Mr. Bug here?” Funky Flashman said.
“Now waitaminnit!” Ambush Bug exclaimed.
“I assure you, you have nothing to fear,” Flashman said.
Flea Flicker closed his eyes and focused. Ambush Bug felt a slight poke on his arm.
“Huh,” Ambush Bug said. “Well, that was vaguely disconcerting.” A snicker went through the crowd.
“That is the extent of your powers, is it not?” Funky Flashman asked.
“Yeah,” Flea Flicker said, blushing with embarrassment.
“Pick up the ultimate amplifier,” Flashman instructed. Flea Flicker picked up the strange object, looking at it.
Flashman pointed to a nearby palette stacked high with cement blocks. “I want you to focus again, using your powers on that pile of blocks.
Flea Flicker looked at him questioningly. “Go ahead,” Flashman said, smiling. “Give it a try.”
Flea Flicker gripped the ultimate amplifier with one hand and held the other out to the palette of blocks. He closed his eyes and focused. The entire pile of cement blocks suddenly flew off the palette and slammed into the wall with great force, smashing to rubble.
A startled cry went through the crowd as Flea Flicker handed him back the device to be placed back on the table. “Do I have my first bid?” Funky Flashman said with a shark-like grin.
The crowd of villains began to shout one bid after another, each higher than the next. Ambush Bug could barely make out what anyone was saying as they shouted over each other like a pack of ravenous dogs with a delicious steak dangled in front of them. He had no idea how Flashman could keep track of the bids, but his smile appeared to be unbroken.
“It appears the Stench has the highest bid,” Flashman said.
“What? That loser?” someone exclaimed. “No freaking way!”
Funky Flashman’s jaw dropped as he found himself rushed by a horde of super villains. His hired goons were quickly overtaken.
************************************************************
Ambush Bug and Flea Flicker found themselves in the midst of chaos. The ultimate amplifier bounced back and forth among the fingertips of the villains desperately reaching for it.
The device landed in Ambush Bug’s hands and all eyes turned on him and Flea Flcker. “Uh oh,” Ambush Bug gulped.
“The heroes have the device!” one of the villains shouted. “Get them!”
“Grab ahold, Opie,” Ambush Bug said. “We’re getting out of here.”
Flea Flicker quickly latched onto his shoulders. The looming horde of villains was enough to make him ignore the fact that he had been called Opie again.
Ambush Bug concentrated, planning to transport them maybe a half mile or so from their current position. The device in Ambush Bug’s hands suddenly began to vibrate.
Suddenly, a hole in space/time opened before them. It looked as if they were looking down the end of a long tunnel.
Ambush Bug and Flea Flicker both gave a scream as they were sucked in the tunnel. Their equilibrium was lost as space seemed to warp around them.
As they came out the other end of the tube, their vision cleared and they took in their surroundings. Both Ambush and Flea Flicker wore horrified expressions. The sky above was crimson red. The air stank of smoke and filth. The terrain was marked by smokestacks and large fire pits.
“Where the holy hell you brought us, bug man?” Flea Flicker exclaimed.
“Hell is right,” Ambush Bug gulped. “I think we’re on Apokolips.”
“You mean like in the Bible?” Flea Flicker asked.
“No, the planet Apokolips,” Ambush Bug said. “Home of Darkseid.”
“Well, use that doohickey to get us out a’ here!” Flea Flicker exclaimed.
“Halt!” a voice suddenly boomed from above. “You are out past curfew. Prepare for immediate detainment.” They both looked up to see a green clad figure with golden wings pointing a laser rifle their way.
“I’ve got a feeling detainment doesn’t end too well here,” Ambush Bug said. “Here, hold this.” He passed Flea Flicker the Ultimate Amplifier.
Ambush Bug teleported with a pop and reappeared on the back of the parademon. “Guess who,” Ambush Bug said, slapping his hands over the eyepieces of his goggles.
“Unhand me, vermin!” the parademon screamed, flying wildly as he tried to shake off Ambush Bug.
“Oooo, what are these?” Ambush Bug said as he looked at the wing joints of the parademon’s artificial wings.
“What? What are you doing?” the parademon exclaimed. “Don’t touch anything!”
Ambush Bug slid the joint pin out and one of the parademon’s wings blew off and flew into the distance. “Aagh!” screamed the parademon as they began to plummet.
“I’d love to stick around, but it looks like this party’s about to crash and burn,” Ambush Bug said. With a pop, he disappeared and reappeared by Flea Flicker. They watched as the parademon streaked to the ground and crashed.
A siren suddenly began to wail. “What the…” Ambush Bug exclaimed.
“Dang it!” Flea Flicker said. “That big green goober must a’ had some sort a’ distress alarm built into that fancy suit of his.”
Three more parademons started flying their way. “Well, we’re boned,” Ambush Bug said flatly.
Clutching the ultimate amplifier, Flea Flicker held up his hand nervously towards the approaching parademons, closed his eyes and focused. A telekinetic blast wave issued forth and blasted the parademons backwards.
“Good job, Opie!” Ambush Bug exclaimed. “Looks like you’ll live to see Mayberry again.”
“My name ain’t Opie!” Flea Flicker snapped. “And I live in Wilson, Alabama not Mayberry! Now, are you gonna get us away from these gomers or what? Cause we sure don’t wanna stay here.”
“Good point,” Ambush Bug said. “He put a hand on Flea Flicker’s shoulder and the two disappeared with a pop.
They reappeared in a dimly lit corridor. Heavy metal doors lined the walls. Wide-eyed, Flea Flicker held out the ultimate amplifier to Ambush Bug.
“Uh … I think you’d better hang on to that for now, Bubba,” Ambush Bug said.
“The name ain’t Bubba! It ain’t Opie! It’s…”
Ambush Bug held his finger up to his lips. “Shhh” He walked up to one of the doors and reached to a panel at eye level and slid it to the side. He peered through the opening and looked. Inside, he saw a small figure, bald and undernourished, sitting on the side of an uncomfortable looking cot.
“There’s a gol-dang kid in there!” Flea Flicker gasped.
“Yeah,” Ambush Bug said. “And the poor little guy looks miserable.”
With a pop, Ambush Bug disappeared and reappeared inside the cell. The child backed up on his bed in alarm.
“Hey, easy little guy. I’m not gonna hurt you,” Ambush Bug said, holding his hands up and speaking in a calming voice.
“Who are you?” the little boy asked, looking up at him with weary eyes.
“I’m the guy who’s gonna get you out of here,” Ambush Bug said.
“Granny will be mad,” the little boy cautioned.
“Your granny put you in here?” Ambush Bug exclaimed.
“Granny Goodness takes care of us and teaches us,” the little boy said.
“Well, it doesn’t look like she’s very good at the taking care of you part,” Ambush Bug said.
He placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder and with a pop, they were in the hallway.”
Flea Flicker looked at the boy and said, “Hey, little fella. We’re gonna get you out of here. Okay?”
“Okay,” the boy said.
“Where are your folks?” Flea Flicker asked.
“I don’t have any,” the boy said. “I’ve lived in the orphanage my whole life.”
“Geez. This pit is an orphanage? “Ambush Bug exclaimed. “Well, any place has got to be better than this. We’ll figure things out once we’re outta here.”
“Are your friends in those other cells?” Flea Flicker asked.
“Uh huh,” the boy said, nodding.
“Can’t leave them behind, can we?” Ambush Bug said. With a series of pops, the corridor was filled with children. They all had shaved heads and wore similar dull colored pajamas, making it difficult to tell the boys from the girls. They carried sacks with their few meager possessions.
An alarm suddenly sounded, filling the air. “What is it with this place and alarms?” Ambush Bug exclaimed, throwing his arms up in frustration.
The double doors at the end of the hallway opened and several guards entered. “Halt!” the middle guard said. “Return to your cells immediately.”
“What if the young’uns don’t want to go back?” Flea Flicker said.
“Those cells are to be filled immediately!” the guard snarled.
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Ambush Bug said. “With a series of pops, the guards found themselves each in one of the impenetrable cells the orphans had once occupied.
“We’d better skidaddle before any more of those ornery cusses show up,” Flea Flicker said.
“Gather round, kiddos,” Ambush Bug said. The orphans all laid a hand on Ambush Bug as instructed and they all disappeared with a pop.
When they reappeared, they found themselves in a large, uninviting room. The floors were covered with mats. The stone walls were decorated with several man-shaped targets that bore blaster gouges and blaster scorches. There were several dummies that were either shredded, stabbed, decapitated or disemboweled. It appeared to be a room for combat training.
Once again, an alarm filled the air. “Oh great Caesar’s ghost!” Ambush Bug said, slapping his forehead.
“I thought you was getting’ us somewhere safe!” Flea Flicker yelled irately.
“It’s not an exact science!” Ambush Bug exclaimed. “How the heck do you find a safe place on Apokolips, anyway?”
The door to the room slid open and a leather clad female with a long whip entered. She wore a leather cowl with an opening for her long ponytail. Her metal headgear matched the metalwork on her leather catsuit and consisted of a ring around her face with a metal strap going across to reveal only her eyes and mouth.
“Miserable little worms, prepare to receive the thrashing of your lives,” she sneered, cracking her whip for emphasis.
“Okay, but before we get started, my safe-word is ‘apples’,” Ambush Bug quipped.
Lashina’s eyes grew wide. “You dare mock me?” She flicked her whip and Ambush Bug teleported out of the way just in time.
Flea Flicker held up the hand that was not holding onto the ultimate amplifier and gestured, sending Lashina flying across the room. She hit the opposite wall with such force that she crashed through the wall and a shower of stone rained around her. The sulphorous stench of the outside air of Apokolips began to enter the room.
“Whoah,” Ambush Bug said. “You just body slammed a New God! Good job, Opie!”
Flea Flicker turned to Ambush Bug, energy crackling from his eyes. “My name ain’t Opie!!”
“Whoa… whoa… hey big guy, simmer down now. Geez. I thought southerners were supposed to be laid back.”
“I think this doodad’s doing something to me,” Flea Flicker said.
“Don’t worry, pal,” Ambush Bug said. “You just need to hang on to it long enough for us to get to a quiet place so I can use it to get us all out of here.”
He walked over to the hole in the wall and stepped over Lashina to lead the kids outside. “And look! You’ve already created our means of escape.”
“There is no escape!” screeched Bernadeth as she ran into the room weilding her fahren knife, followed by the brutish Stompa and the cackling Mad Harriet.
“I’ve had just about enough!” Flea Flicker said, waving his hand up and sending the three of them flying into the ceiling. “I ain’t one for hitting ladies, but you don’t look much like ladies to me.”
The three landed in a heap, followed by a shower of stone that rained down on top of them. Stompa rose to her feet, the only one still conscious and attempted to rush him. With a gesture, Flea Flicker slammed her once… two… three times against the wall and she slumped to the floor unconscious.
“You’ve faced the rest. Now face the best,” a silky voice said. A beautiful figure who looked as if she were carved out of grey marble entered the room. She wore a blue corset one-piece and matching blue thigh high boots. She was followed by two more female furies: Artemiz the archer and Knockout.
“Hey, Darkseid! Looking good!” Ambush Bug said cheerfully. “It’s a wonder what those surgeons in Sweden can do!”
“Ha ha,” Pandora said drolly. “Darkseid is my father, insect. I shall enjoy popping your head like a grape once I am done with your friend here.”
Pandora gave a nod to knockout and the two rushed towards Flea Flicker. He gave a gesture with both hands, bringing them together, and the two collided. Knockout slumped to the floor, unconscious, havig been slammed into the invulnerable Pandora.
Pandora scowled, her eyes glowing red . Omega beams shot from her eyes and streaked forward. Flea Flicker quickly erected a shield and the beams bounced back, narrowly missing Pandora and striking Artimiz. With a scream, she was disintegrated.
Pandora gave an angry scream as she reared her fist back and charged forward, slamming it into his psychic shield. She hammered again and again and he felt his feet sliding backwards as she continued to pound away. Suddenly, he fell backwards, tripping over the prone form of Lashina. Flea Flicker gave an “oof” as he landed on his back on the ground, a few feet away from the hole in the wall.
Pandora hovered above him, continuing to pound away at his shield. She smiled an evil smile of satisfaction. Soon it would be over and she could present the dead husk of this invader and would be thief to her father as a trophy.
Pandora gasped as Flea Flicker’s eyes suddenly crackled with blue lightning. Invisible hands suddenly seemed to grab onto her waist and throw her hard into the air.
Ambush Bug brought his handover his eyes and watched as Pandora flew off into the distance like a missile, landing in one of the many fire pits that fueled the war engines of Apokalips.
“Woo!” Ambush Bug cheered. “Hopefully, we won’t be seeing that rhymes with witch any time soon. I guess now I can…”
Ambush Bug’s words were cut off by the sound of engines. Many engines.
“Aw dang,” Flea Flicker said, rising to his feet.
“Maybe you should hang onto that thing a while longer,” Ambush Bug said.
Before them stood an entire army. Shock troopers were on the ground. Parademons were in the air. Virmin Vundabar and Kanto stood in command positions upon floating platforms in the air. Kalibak stood among the ground troops grinning ferociously, chomping at the bit for the coming fight. Before them all stood Granny Goodness with her remaining female furies, including Virmin Vundarbar’s neice, Malice, Speed Freak, and Guilitina.
“Granny loves her sweet children,” Granny Goodness said darkly. “She doesn’t like when someone tries to steal them from her.”
“Halt!” Virmin Vundabar said imperiously, addressing them from his floating platform. “You are attempting to steel property of the great Darkseid. Surrender now und your deaths shall be painless. Defy us and your suffering will be unimaginable.”
A moment of anxious silence passed. “Do you surrender?!!” Vermin Vundabar demanded.
“Hell no!” Flea Flicker exclaimed, jutting his chin out in defiance.
“Open fire!” Vermin Vundabar bellowed.
The shock troops and parademons moved forward, firing their blasters as they tried to advance. Ambush Bug watched from behind the safety of Flea Flicker’s psychic shield as the blasts bounced off.
A menacing growl filled the air and Ambush Bug turned to see Kalibak advancing from the side. With a pop, Ambush Bug appeared on his back.
“Get off me or I’ll rip your head off!” Kalibak roared.
“What’s everyone got against my head?” Ambush Bug said just before they disappeared.
Kalibak screamed in horror when they reappeared over a sewage treatment plant. “See ya,” Ambush Bug said, disappearing with a pop. Kalibak howled as he plummeted to the muck below.
When Ambush Bug reappeared, the children clung to him in fright. He was frightened, too, as he caught sight of his new friend.
Blue energy crackled wildly from Flea Flicker’s eyes. Sweat poured down his face. The jacket of his track suit had split down the back, in the seams of his shoulders, and in the bicep areas. The side piping on his track pants split at the sides. It was as if his body were trying to strengthen itself against the sheer power coursing through him.
Flea Flicker continued to brace himself as the weapons brought to bear on him grew more and more powerful. Heavy canons blasted away at his shield. Bombs rained down from above.
Flea Flicker gritted his teeth, focusing with all he had. Blood poured down from his nose. The sides of his cowl grew wet and Ambush Bug realized he was bleeding from the ears.
“He’s not going to be able to hold out much longer,” Ambush Bug thought.
Apokalips was giving everything it had and the end was drawing near. A rumbling sound suddenly seemed to come up from Flea Flicker’s throat until it became a scream. “AAAGH! ENOUGH!!
A powerful pulse wave shot outward from the shield, going backwards through the forces of Apokalips. Parademons were swatted from the sky. Ground troops were flattened and rendered unconscious along with Darkseid’s elite. The floating platforms of Vermin Vundabar and Kanto exploded beneath them along with the rest of the weaponry that had been brought to the front. Granny Goodness and her furies, hit with the brunt of the blast were the first to fall.
Ambush Bug looked out at the stilled, smoking battlefield. “Wow… just wow. Whoever created that ultimate amplifier needs to get a patent on it ASAP. Am I right?” he said, nudging Flea Flicker.
Flea Flicker suddenly began to slump, his eyes rolling back in his head. “Easy… I gotcha big guy,” Ambush Bug said. “*oof*.. Geez you weigh a ton.”
Ambush Bug took the ultimate amplifier from him and concentrated. Another boom tube like the one that brought them there opened before them. Struggling under the larger man’s weight, Ambush Bug walked Flea Flicker into the boom tube followed by the many children they had rescued.
In the distance, a pair of smooth grey feminine hands reached out from inside of a fire pit to clutch the edge. Pandora pulled herself up, coughing, before she tumbled down the side and landed flat on her back.
Gazing up at the sky, Pandora groaned, “My father’s going to kill me.”
*************************************************************
Flea Flicker’s head throbbed as he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Ambush Bug grinning down at him and he realized it had not all been a dream.
“How ya feelin’, big guy?” Ambush Bug asked.
“Like I been livin’ off a’ nothin’ but my cousin Earl’s secret corn whiskey for the last month,” Flea Flicker coughed.
“I bet,” Ambush Bug said. You gave us all a scare.”
“The young’uns?”
“This place has the right kind of orphanages,” Ambush Bug said. “So they’re in good hands. They’re gonna be okay. You done good, Op … Eddie.”
“Thanks, Flea Flicker said.
“Plus, once their story gets out, Highfather says families will be lining up to try and adopt them.”
“Who?”
“Highfather. He’s the guy who runs this place: New Genesis. He looks Amish but dresses like the king of Mardi Gras.”
“Oh,” Eddie said. He brought his hand up to his face and started to raise up in his hospital bed. “My mask…”
“Yeah, you’re pretty much down to your skivvies and a hospital gown now. Your old costume’s a bust. But if it’s any consolation, you used to be built like Louie Anderson and now you’re built more like Lou Ferigno. So you still look sort of like a super hero.”
He eased Eddie back down in his bed. “For now, just lay back and rest up. Once you’ve healed, I’m sure they can whip you up some new duds.”
“Okay,” Eddie sighed.
“Hey, when you get back to Earth, maybe we can see what it’s like hanging out when people aren’t trying to kill us.”
Ambush Bug walked out of the hospital to find Highfather standing in wait for him. Ambush Bug looked up at the night sky of New Genesis: a cosmic panorama of colors unlike anything he had seen on Earth.
“Do not fear, Ambush Bug,” Highfather said. “Your friend is in good hands. Once his convalescence is over, we shall return him to… Wilson, Alabama, is it?” He smiled as if amused by a thought.
“What is it?” Ambush Bug asked.
“If Wilson is as you describe it, to think that such a place would be home to such a hero.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“He has been changed by this experience. And in ways far beyond just his appearance,” Highfather said.
“How so?” Ambush Bug asked.
I believe your friend will need a new nom de plume. For now, anyone who is touched by his power will feel far more than a flicker.”
“Huh,” Ambush Bug said.
“Now, as for this device,” Highfather said, holding up the ultimate amplifier. “Despite what this Funky Flashman says, I do not see how this device could have been created by your STAR labs. Not with the sort of power it taps into.”
“Frankly, it reminds me of relics of the technology of the old gods. How it came to be in the hands of Mr. Flashman is a mystery I would be greatly interested in unravelling. But that is for another time.”
He points his staff towards an area behind Ambush Bug and a boom tube suddenly opened. A serious look suddenly came over Highfather’s face. “The plight of the orphans under the ‘care’ of Granny Goodness has long been a source of heartache for us. The treaty between Apokalips and New Genesis bound our hands, preventing us from rescuing them ourselves. You have the gratitude of New Genesis, Ambush Bug. That is no small thing. If you should ever need our assistance, we expect you to call upon us.
“Well, there is one thing,” Ambush Bug said. “You might want to consider letting Eddie hang onto that thing. I can think of at least one guy who might be gunning for him now.”
*******************************************************
“All of them?” Darkseid bellowed. “You mean to tell me one man managed to defeat all the forces in your command?”
Darkseid’s elite stood before him with their heads downcast. Granny Goodness seemed to be emanating fear from every pour. After all, it was her facility that the invaders had penetrated and from which they had stolen an entire future cadre of soldiers.
“I am so very sorry, my lord,” Granny Goodness wailed. “We were not able to give you the victory you so sincerely deserved. My furies failed you.”
“It is a poor commander that tries to pin the blame for defeat on his or her own soldiers,” Darkseid said, looking down his nose at her.
He leaned back in his throne and sighed. “I suppose we will have to initiate breeding incentives among the lowlies just to be able to replenish our stock.”
He turned his gaze towards Virmin Vundabar and Kanto. And do not think I hold Granny Goodness alone in blame.”
“Not to make excuses, your highness,” Virmin Vundabar said, “but he was a force unlike any we have faced before.”
Darkseid studied the images of Flea Flicker and Ambush Bug on the large view screen. He then turned to Desaad who stood to the left of his throne and said, “I assume they were from New Genesis?”
“We are unable to confirm the origin of the one called Flea Flicker. Such energy emanated from him that it was impossible to get a genetic reading on him.”
“Flea Flicker?” Darkseid said, astounded. “Is he trying to be ironic?”
“Perhaps,” Desaad mused.
“What of this one?” Kanto said, pointing to Ambush Bug. “Clearly, he is one of those bug creatures New Genesis is infested with!”
“His uniform merely gives him the appearance of one,” Desaad said. “His reading shows him to be a meta-human from Earth.”
“Yes…” Kalibak said, shame faced. “He had… powers.”
Pandora did her best to stifle a laugh. It would not do to mock her brother in her father’s presence.
“Earth?” Darkseid exclaimed. “You mean to tell me these intruders came from Earth?!! Will that damnable planet never cease to plague me?!!”
“At your command, we can ready an invasion force to make them pay for this outrage,” Virmin Vundabar said.
“No… no… that would be hasty,” Darkseid said earnestly. “This Flea Flicker is an unknown element… perhaps the most dangerous foe we have ever faced. We must study.. plan.. before we make our next move.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, including Virmin Vundabar. “As you wish, sire.”
“Now away with you,” Darkseid said with a dismissive wave. “I must be alone with my thoughts.”
Once his elite had departed, Darkseid rose from his seat and moved to the wall behind his throne. He hit a hidden panel and a section of wall turned to reveal a hidden door to his private sanctum. On the far wall was a blackboard on which he had written the symbols comprising his unfinished attempt to decipher the anti-life equation. He walked up to the blackboard, stared at it in contemplation, then added a plus sign and the image of Flea Flicker.
“One step closer,” he said in satisfaction.