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Post by borgnine2023 on Dec 15, 2023 3:28:23 GMT -6
Dear Sassy Tassels, in the holiday spirit I been enjoying the Christmas specials! So much talent. But the other night I watched the Mariah Carey Christmas special, and since then, I can't stop yanking it! Is she a witch who has put an evil spell on me? I think her not becoming the undisputed queen of Christmas might have caused her to attack the male population into oblivion, starting with the horniest of us first! Help me Sassy Tassels, help me!
nypost.com/2022/11/15/trademark-bully-mariah-carey-loses-bid-to-be-queen-of-christmas/
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Post by Sassy Tassels, MD on Dec 15, 2023 13:58:32 GMT -6
Dear Borgnine,
Mariah Carey is indeed a witch. Somehow, her power hasn't waned even though she isn't nearly as hot as she was in the 90s. All poor MH has to do is hear "All I want for Christmas is you" and he breaks into an uncontrollable wankfest! I you find yourself under her spell, go to google images or video and search "Nancy Pelosi hot". It will cure your urge to spank it, but you might not be able to get it up for a few days.
Hope this helps,
Sassy Tassels, MD
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Post by Borgnine328 on Dec 17, 2023 4:53:28 GMT -6
Thanks Sassy Tassels! That Pelosi porn did the trick. Well mostly. Damn. I still occasionally want to catch my significant other, cover her in tanning gel & glitter, and go nuts on her! Mariah Carey is definitely on an evil spell. I was able to eventually control myself by downloading the festive & homo erotic Christmas songs of Michael Bublé! So wonderful. I especially enjoyed, "I'd blow Santa to get off the naughty list, All I want for Christmas is a big weiner, and of course the classic "Santa Baby". Yall watch some in case Mariah Carey is making your pants tight! Bitch.
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Post by Big Gay Al on Dec 17, 2023 5:03:22 GMT -6
Dear Sassy Tassels. I listened to all the Michael Bublé songs, and now I can't stop yanking it! Help me Sassy Tassels, Help me!
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Post by Sassy Tassels, MD on Dec 18, 2023 5:56:36 GMT -6
Dear Big Gay Al,
In your case, you'll want to Google image search "Mitch McConnell hot". Be warned, though. If you do it for too long, it might make you straight.
Hope this helps,
Sassy Tassels, MD
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Post by mh on Dec 27, 2023 1:51:55 GMT -6
Dear Borgnine, Mariah Carey is indeed a witch. Somehow, her power hasn't waned even though she isn't nearly as hot as she was in the 90s. All poor MH has to do is hear "All I want for Christmas is you" and he breaks into an uncontrollable wankfest! dammit baboon, are you just tryin to get me put on santa's naughty list?!!
i was sort of thinking mariah hadn't changed that much. and her boobs have drooped nicely, so i could give them a good motorboating.  that would learn her.
then i watched the old santa video. damn!!! what a friggin' cutie she was! she was giving santa some good lap time. i'll bet he whispered to the director at some point, "i need a break! that hot little minx! i'm going out of my mind! i need to go to the port-o-potty and yank it!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 27, 2023 5:52:58 GMT -6
I was practically a teenager when she was in her prime. If she had been wriggling around on my lap like that, I never would have made it to the port-o-potty.
"I'm ... gonna need another pair of Santa pants."
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that would learn her.
