|
|
Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 27, 2013 22:39:57 GMT -6
Meanwhile, back in the coliseum, Babu and Doc Quantum are having one of those mid-fight conversations you only see in comic books. "So, you see... I was trying to throw him off with the 'never even seen you before' remark, but it obviously didn't work. Truth is, he's a recurring villain. The mayor sends donuts or has one of his guys take us out for sushi every time we beat him.""
"How'd you think that'd work then?" Doc asks as he backhands a mutant.
"He still think's it's the 80s. How good could his grasp of time be?" Babu says, kicking a mutant in the cajones.
"So what he said about meeting you in 1986?.... Doc asks.
"Completely true...." Babu says. "But it wasn't the Monkey Alliance you know today... or even the one before that. It was the neon age Monkey Alliance."
"The neon age Monkey Alliance?" Doc asks, punching a mutant in the nose.
"Yes," Babu says. "We were a teen group then. Made up of me, Highness, Rat-tail, New Wave, Karma Chameleon, She-Man, and Electric Boogaloo."
"She-Man?" Doc says, raising an eyebrow."
"Androgeny was kind of a fad in the 80s. Guys in girly make-up and all that...." Babu answers as he sends a mutant flying into another on a motorcycle.
"So what about the ski challenge?" Doc asks.
"Well, he challenged us to a big ski-off on Dead Man's trail. None of us know how to ski, so I talk him into it just being him and me?"
"But you said you don't know how to ski..."
"No, but I can fly. So I just flew an inch off the ground and won the challenge," Babu answers, flipping a mutant over his shoulder.
"So you cheated," Doc says.
"Pretty much. Plus, his favorite henchman flirted pretty hard and heavy with She-Man. Last I heard, they moved to one of those states where gay marriage is legal and adopted a Guatamalan baby. He wasn't happy about that."
|
|
|
|
Post by mh on Oct 27, 2013 23:49:34 GMT -6
"well guys, "mh says while he is pinned and getting pummeled by 3 mutants, "while you are having one of those mid-fight conversations you only see in comic books or 1960's spy spoofs, "I been fightin' for my damn life over here! I threw a throwing star and buried into a mutant's skull. you know what? he just grinned at me & now he's beatin' me with both fists along with his two buddies! pretty soon i'm gonna slump to the ground and they'll kick me to mush! oh good, i'm having an out of body experience. i'm going to a place where blows no longer rain down. if my wife & taffy get into a catfight at my funeral, don't break it up!! I might be watching. I hope there'll be lots of hair pulling."
doc quantum looks over at babu. "I guess mh doesn't have super powers. yeah, ouuu. he's gettin' slaughtered. this mid-fight conversation thing -- maybe we ought to avoid it in the future."
|
|
|
|
Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 28, 2013 15:08:42 GMT -6
"Jesus! Even Dave managed not to get pummeled like that!" Doc says, looking over at Dave. The insurance guy had somehow managed to hang onto his pistol and was shooting down mutants.
"He's probably just trying to get attention," Babu says as they rush to help MH.
Meanwhile, Steve has picked the lock on the cell of Delbert and the other tech nerds. They all cheer as they rush out of the cell.
"OK, guys. Show me where that terminal is so we can shut down those holograms before my buddies are slaughtered."
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Quantum on Oct 28, 2013 16:50:57 GMT -6
Doc Quantum's fighting skills are a bit rusty, but he still tries to take on the mutants with his bare fists. Unfortunately, nothing seems to stop them for long.
Suddenly, another Doc Quantum pops up next to the original Doc.
Doc #1: "What th'--?!"
Doc #2: "Don't have a cow, man! I'm just you from a couple minutes in the future."
Doc #1: "What's up, Doc? Why are you here? Do you have a special message for me? Did you come back to warn me?"
Doc #2: "Nah. I just got cornered by a bunch of mutants and jumped into the past to keep from getting skewered."
Doc #1: "Oh. Well, nice seeing you."
Doc #2: "Sure thing. And hey, in a couple of minutes, you'll see me again! Only this time, you'll be me. Ciao!"
And then the second Doc Quantum, who is an immaterial but still-visible phantom, walks through a wall and out of the coliseum.
Doc #1: "Whatta maroon."
The first Doc Quantum continues fighting the mutants over the next couple of minutes, but then a bunch of them end up cornering him.
Doc: "Oh, crap. Looks like I'm gonna be skewered if I don't jump outta here."
POP!
Doc Quantum rematerializes a couple of minutes earlier and sees his earlier self.
Doc #2: "What th'--?!"
Doc #1: "Don't have a cow, man! I'm just you from a couple minutes in the future."
Doc #2: "What's up, Doc? Why are you here? Do you have a special message for me? Did you come back to warn me?"
Doc #1: "Nah. I just got cornered by a bunch of mutants and jumped into the past to keep from getting skewered."
Doc #2: "Oh. Well, nice seeing you."
Doc #1: "Sure thing. And hey, in a couple of minutes, you'll see me again! Only this time, you'll be me. Ciao!"
And then Doc Quantum, who is an immaterial but still-visible phantom, walks through a wall and out of the coliseum. Shaking his head, he says, "Whatta maroon. OK, now to find a control room of some kind before I rematerialize." He continues walking peeking through a few doors, hoping he's got his timing right before his earlier self jumps into the past. It wouldn't be good if he rematerialized within a wall.
|
|
|
|
Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 28, 2013 18:44:54 GMT -6
The immaterial Doc Quantum is walking along the corridor when he sees Steve followed by Delbert and he tech nerds. "Hey, Steve," Doc says, waving his arms to get their attention. "Are you going to the control room?" With a sudden pop, he disappears.
"Eeeeeeee!!" the tech nerds scream, "A g-g-g-ghost!" and run in the opposite direction.
"Dammit!" Steve snaps, running after them, "Get your asses back here and help me!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Quantum on Oct 29, 2013 16:10:15 GMT -6
Doc Quantum finds himself in a darkened room. He had teleported into the room that Steve and the others seemed to be heading toward, which he assumed was the control room. Now he isn't so sure. It's too dark, and it smells like mildew in there.
Stepping forward, he trips over something and goes flying forward, slamming painfully down to the ground as a shelf full of cleaning supplies falls on top of him.
MRROWWW!
"Gah!" Doc screams as some type of small animal starts clawing at him. It's bad enough that he's lying in a puddle of stinky mop water with rags and cleaning fluids all over him, but there's a cat in here, too!
The keeps screeching at him in terror and batting at him with his claws. Every time he tries to fight back, the cat just starts to frantically wail at him with its sharp claws. But just as he manages to pick up the cat and throw it away from him, another cat starts clawing at him from behind, and then another. From the dim light, Doc realizes that he's trapped in a supply closet full of cats!!! The next few minutes are a nightmare for him, since he forgets he can teleport, and he merely tries to survive his ordeal against all the terrified cats that are attacking him.
Finally, Doc's flailing ends up kicking the door open, and the cats run out into the hallway -- all 24 of them.
Doc Quantum is in bad shape, with scratches all over his now-soiled costume and skin. Sitting in a pool of dirty, soapy water with a mop resting over his shoulders and the contents of an entire shelf of cleaning supplies on top of him and surrounding him on all sides, Doc begins to weep. This was the worst ordeal he had gone through in living memory. The trauma of the events that went down in this supply closet would forever color his outlook on life.
"I... hate...... CATSSSS!!!!!!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Quantum on Oct 29, 2013 16:18:12 GMT -6
Shivering and looking terrible, Doc Quantum forgets why he had gone out searching in the first place. He had rematerialized after teleporting into the supply closet, of course, as he painfully found out. But the trauma of the event that would forever in his mind be known as the "Catpocalypse" weighs on him.
Without realizing it, Doc ends up wandering back into the Thunderdome. There, Babu Baboon, MH, and a few of the others are still fighting for their lives against the post-apocalyptic mutants.
Babu: "Hey, where'd you go?"
Doc: "Cats? Cats, cats cats cats cats cats cats." (*)
Babu: "Huh? Come again?"
Doc: "Cats cats. Cats cats cats cats cats cats cats cats cats cats cats, cats cats cats?"
Babu looks at MH and makes a "he's gone crazy" motion with his fingers.
MH: "PTSD, dude. I've seen it before."
[(*) translation: "What? Oh, I just went for a walk."]
[(**) translation: "Never mind. We should try to stop these mutants as soon as possible, don't you think?"]
|
|
|
|
Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 29, 2013 18:04:13 GMT -6
Meanwhile, Steve has calmed down the tech nerds by explaining about Doc Quantum and his powers. They start heading back down the hallway towards the control room. On the way, a herd of cats runs passed them. "What the hell?" Steve exclaims.
Delbert opens the door to the control room and Steve gives an impressed whistle. It looks a lot like the control room in "War Games".
Steve sits down to one of the terminals and cracks his knuckles. "OK, lets get hackin'."
|
|
|
|
Post by mh on Oct 30, 2013 10:11:34 GMT -6
"holy moley, "says dave as he reaches the others who are picking up various discarded mutant weapons,"i'm down to my last clip! they keep getting up. this is worse than when i was setting up maritime claims for somali pirates!"
"hey, "doc Q say to mh,"your cuts & swelling --they're nearly gone."
"yeah, "mh replies," ain't no healing factor like manhunter clone healing factor! ooou, a chainsaw -- me likee! they are a little unorganized -- so if we stay in a tight circle like this wielding our weapons, we might live two, maybe three minutes before they fall upon us and after some brutal stabbing & clubbing, devour us. does that sound about right babu?"
"sounds a bit optimistic to me," replies babu, lifting a mace.
at a terminal, "hamburgers!" exclaims steve. "a mouse? really?! where's the damn trackpad?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Doc Quantum on Oct 30, 2013 12:59:36 GMT -6
"It gets worse than that," says a random IT guy. "They're still running Windows 3.1!!!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 30, 2013 14:34:29 GMT -6
"Well, I guess we've got to work with what we've got," Steve said. "Delbert, you and the rest of the guys join me and we'll see if we can't take out the coliseum." The rest of the tech nerds sit down to terminals and they all begin tapping away.
Meanwhile, in the coliseum, Babu, MH, Doc, and Dave and in a circle, back to back, trying to hod off the approaching mutants. "Say," Babu comments. "Anyone notice Steve is gone?"
Slowly, one by one, the mutants begin to blink out. The MA suddenly find themselves in an empty arena.
"Lets get out of here!" Babu exclaims. THey run across the arena and Babu slams the metal gate door with his shoulder, knocking it open. They all race out into the corridor.
"Get them!" the Crimson Mullet exclaims from his throne. Henchmen begin pouring from the stands, jumping into the arena in pursuit.
|
|
|
|
Post by mh on Oct 30, 2013 21:22:21 GMT -6
a group of 50 identical guys who look like "smith" from the matrix appear in front of the henchmen
in a split second their suits change to lab coats with "smith" name tags, and they begin systematically kicking the henchmen's fannies.
"dammit, "exclaims the crimson mullet, "my beautiful muntants are gone! i was gonna make babu baboon fight master blaster! time to 'do the bird' and fly outta here!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 31, 2013 6:37:36 GMT -6
Suddenly, rockets fire up on the bottom of the Crimson Mullet's chair and he begins to rise. He soars upward and is bouncing along the roof of the enormous cavern
"Dammit! I ordered an escape hatch to be built! I ask for one frickin' thing.... oh wait, there it is..." A door slid open and the chair went open, rising up towards the sky.
The Monkey lliance has runback into the coliseum after hearing the new holograms attacking the henchmen. "He's getting away!" Babu exclaimed. "Back to the monkey-mobile"
|
|
|
|
Post by mh on Nov 2, 2013 8:48:45 GMT -6
quickly they are able to get the monkey-mobile into the air, and babu baboon pilots it above the crimson mullet, to try and force him down.
babu: (calling down to CM) give it up billy ray!! it's time to get you out of those oingo boingo clothes and into an orange jumpsuit!
CM: (calling up to babu) get away! *cough!* that nickel smelting plant you call the monkey-mobile is blowing toxic fumes all over me!! *cough! cough!* wait, it that oil?! it's in my hair! cheapskate! take that miserable thing to 'pep boys' before you kill somebody!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 2, 2013 21:31:21 GMT -6
A smile crosses Babu's face. "No matter what, we need to keep the Monkey-mobile directly over the Crimson Mullet."
"Why's that?" MH says.
"Just listen," Babu says, grinning.
"Ah, it's dripping on me!" the Crimson Mullet screams. "Oh God! My hair! It... it... IT'S NOT BIG ANYMORE!!!!!"
The Crimson Mullet dodges to the left and then to the right, over and over again trying to evade the Monkey-Mobile to no avail. He tries speeding up and then slowing down. Still no luck. Finally, he screams, "Okay! Okay! I give up, dammit! Take me in! Just get that Freaking bio-hazard off me!"
|
|
