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Post by mh on Apr 7, 2015 0:06:37 GMT -6
the monkey alliance vs the green slime part 1 
an exciting monkey alliance adventure starring several beloved monkey alliance
members, some assistants, interns, as well as many popular nearly forgotten peripheral
characters from monkey alliance past
on an normal brisk april morning in the mall of justice ... |
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Post by mh on Apr 7, 2015 0:19:54 GMT -6
... where mh is enjoying cereal and a hot beverage in the monkey alliance breakfast nook, days after he has gotten his fatass kicked out of the house yet again. suddenly an urgent message comes over the all but forgotten monkey alliance cb radio, which also reaches, somehow, into deep space
"danger! danger!" it screeches. "this is donny! super-jesse's former assistant from his space station on the planet neptune!"
"the green slime is loose! the universe will die now!"
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Post by mh on Apr 7, 2015 12:36:25 GMT -6
"no minnly snikks." (oh, fiddly sticks) says mh thru a mouthful of peanut butter captain crunch.
moments later on the phone with babu baboon ...
babu: wtf?!! what's the green slime?
mh: you got me. maybe donnie has been out in space too long.
babu: jesse is opening us up to a huge lawsuit! i didn't even know donnie was still out there!
mh: yeah, maybe he's suffering from hydrogen psychosis and has the crazy eyes.
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Post by mh on Apr 9, 2015 1:13:34 GMT -6
"listen, just monitor all transmissions for a while, "says babu. "it's probably nothing. I'm stuck at one of my mrs. soirees, and ..."
"omg, those things are death!" says mh.
"i'd truly rather face the green spluge, or whatever donnie said, than to suffer thru another one of mrs. baboon's soirees!"
"geeze, they're not that bad ..." begins babu.
"of course they are!" says mh. "at the last one, i had to fake a groin pull. i yelled, "oh! my groin!" and fell over."
"that was fake?" asks babu.
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Post by mh on Apr 14, 2015 0:02:18 GMT -6
"mh, just monitor all transmissions," says babu. "it's probably nothing."
four hours later, mh has invited his young freind "long duck dong" over, and they're playing the classic nes golf game, chi chi's pro challenge
and consuming occulto, agave beer.
"this stuff is kicking my butt," says mh.
"not the only thing kicking yer butt!" exclaims dong. "chi chi rodrigues -- perhaps the ultimate shot maker! old school. you have to focus!"
"yeah I dunno, something about a green slime ..." says mh.
"not important!" yells dong. "got hot ladies in your kitchen whipping up squid kimchi! break you out of your funk! and you are seven strokes behind! focus."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 16, 2015 17:41:57 GMT -6
Suddenly, there is a loud boom from outside. The headquarters shakes from the impact.
"What the hell was that!" Babu exclaims, holding a newspaper in one hand and pulling his trunks up with the other as he dashes out of the bathroom.
"It came from outside!" MH yelps.
"Something crash into parking lot!" Donger says.
THe three of them rush out to the parking lot where they see the wreckage of a space ship. Donnie crawls from the wreckage wearing a tattered space suit. He throws off his helmet and shouts, "What the hell part of 'The Green Slime is loose!' don't you understand? I barely made it here alive!"
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Post by mh on May 4, 2015 22:24:37 GMT -6
moments later, they've settled donnie down, and he's sipping his favorite beverage, nestle's quick.
"the slime was raining down on us, " exclaims donnie. "and it began taking root! luckily we had an escape pod."
"we?" asks baboon.
"yeah, me and my tortoise oliver," says donnie. "he's still pretty upset."
"he's bitten me like seven times!" says mh.
"he's real keyed up," explains donnie.
"but since you left, and there's no other life on neptune, everything's fine ... right?" says babu.
"oh hell no," replies donnie.
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 24, 2015 22:34:52 GMT -6
"The truth is, Neptune's crawling with people." Donnie says.
"How is that possible?" Babu says For one's the atmosphere is poisonous. THe planet is crazy cold, and the winds are so fast and hard, it would kill anyone that could survive the atmosphere or the cold."
"Oh, that's just what they want us to think," Donnie says. "THe place is like one big Sandles resort. They don't want us to know how nice it is because we might try to visit. They think of us as their trashy redneck neighbors."
"What a bunch of freaking snobs!" MH says.
"Yeah, but they still don't deserve to get killed by the green slime," Donnie says. "We should get back there."
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Post by mh on May 25, 2015 13:35:26 GMT -6
they patch into closed circuit venus tv, and see venutian marines taking on the green slime.
"this is horrible!" says baboon. "we have to get up there!"
"our transporter is fried! and since yer boyfreind obama cut the space progam," says doc quantum, "we have no alternative but to go to the russians."
"how long have you been sitting there quatum?" asks babu.
"six months, "replies doc.
"damn." says mh. "our only "in" is my old enemy soda popinski! russia's greatest full-contact fighter of all time. who i defeated in 2012! and he'll demand a rematch."
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Post by mh on May 25, 2015 13:45:15 GMT -6
"i could just done just go & flies up thare ..." begins super-jesse, as he bursts in.
"quiet!" exclaims babu. "we're tyin' to think!"
"well mh, "says kenny, who arrived with super-jesse, "you could done use the same durty tricks you done used to done defeat soda popinski the first time."
"dirty tricks? hey! it was fair and square! I don't need ther drirty tricks!" cries mh.
"last time he hit you so hard he knocked yer man-wig into the cheap seats!" says kenny. *sigh* "i'll done go get the poisoned vodka."
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Post by mh on May 28, 2015 1:10:40 GMT -6
the bout was set up quickly, and during round two mh says:
"i aint o' feelin' so good! why aint soda gone down yet?"
with a feeling of dread, babu looks underneath the vodka bottle mh has been drinking from, and in big letters someone has wrote, 'piosen-ed vodka'.
"dammit kenny!", says babu, "you got the bottles mixed up!"
mh is reeling around and babu says, "listen mh! you gotta nullify his power. take him to the mat!"
"babu is right!" says hillbilly joe, mh's ultimate fighting trainer, "try some of the holds I taught you."
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Post by mh on May 28, 2015 1:47:20 GMT -6
seeing 3 soda popinskis, mh cleverly goes for the one in the middle and tackles him to the mat. the crowd cheers.
"why're the Russians cheering for mh?" babu asks.
"oh he's real popular here in moscow!" says hillbilly joe. "he dresses all red like a cossack, drinks vodka like water, and has a high profile romance going on with with jani of "jani's fashion party"! russia's new number one show! look! she's right there in the front row. he's like a damn kardashian over here!"
"krooush him!!!!" yells jani.
looking like he's going for a camel clutch, mh spins around, grabbing soda's right leg and twists it around, sending soda popinski into horrible agony.
"that's my signature move!" exclaims hillbilly joe, "the tennessee toe torture! what a beautiful tribute. dammit! mh! you've maid me cry."
soda screams, begins slapping the mat and yells, "я сдаюсь !!" (i surrender!!)
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 28, 2015 15:19:08 GMT -6
"Wait... are you crying?" MH asks Soda Popinski.
"Me defeat means I loose all my licensing deals. No Soda Popinski action figures. No Soda Popinski lunch boxes. I loose lots ov rubles," Soda moans.
"Maybe we can work something out," Babu says from the side of the ring.
"Huh?" MH says.
"If MH takes a dive, you've got to use your clout to get us a rocket ship to Neptune!" Babu says.
"Da! I does anytink! I justs can't loose." Soda Popinski says.
"But Babu..." MH groans.
"DO it!" Babu says.
MH lets Soda Popinski up and the Russian lightly taps MH on the chin. MH brings his arm to his forehead. "Oh Lowzy! Popinski's done dealt me a deathblow! The room's spinning! Everything's getting dark!" With that, he drops to the floor and feigns unconsciousness.
Soda Popinski throws his arms into the air. "I am invincible!"
After the bout, the Monkey Alliance walks into the locker room and confronts Popinski. "Okay, Popinski, we held up our part of the bargain. Now it's your turn."
"And vy shoud I do that?" Popinski laughs.
"Because if you don't, I'll fly you back out to the ring and give you a nuclear wedgie for all the reporters to see," Babu says.
Hokay. Hokay. I do it!" Popinski says. "We go see my brother in the Russian space program.
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Post by mh on May 28, 2015 21:19:12 GMT -6
leaving the stadium to their car, babu, mh, soda and hillbilly joe are confronted with a gigantic crowd. they begin to cheer and many bland, thick, industrial-looking, large sized panties are hurled at mh
"damn!" says babu, "mh, even though you lost, yer like a rock star here! some of those panties are the size of car-covers!"
"well," says mh, "yeah, i'm still a huge русский heart throb! but you've ruined my non-sexual romance with jani, of jani's new fashion party! since the time of your cable ace awards, she has become massive in russia! and since I'm no longer a-list, it'll be all over."
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Post by mh on May 28, 2015 21:37:36 GMT -6
loaded into their limo, by soda popinski's orders, they are shuttled to the space station
"we're meeting with soda's brother, 'buzz' popinski." says babu. "their giant post-soviet rocket should hurl us right to neptune, and the green slime
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