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Post by Babu Baboon on May 31, 2015 7:58:16 GMT -6
A few hours later, the Monkey Alliance find themselves strapped in a Russian made rocket as "Buzz Popinski prepares for lift-off.
"Are you sure this rocket can get us all the way to Neptune?" Babu asks.
"Da. No problem," Buzz says. "THis biggest rocket in Soviet... I mean Russian fleet. It is powered by industrial strength vodka. Dat stuff pack major punch."
Buzz flips a couple more switches and then says, "Hokay, we're all sets for off-lift so heres we go." He hits a red button and the space ship fires up and takes off into the sky."
"Dang. Look at that," MH says as they soar past the clouds and into space as Earth grows smaller and smaller
A couple of hours later, they approach Neptune. "De planet is cofferd in gas," Buzz says. "I tinks we shoulds go no further."
It's camouflage," Donnie says. "So no one will want to come live here."
The rocket zips through and Kenny looks out the window." Wow. It really done does look like one big sandals resort."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 3, 2015 11:11:06 GMT -6
"We've got a problem, though," Donnie says.
"What's that?" Babu asks.
"Neptunians think so little of Earthlings that they might stop us at the door to, you know, keep the riff-raff out. Even if we are here to rescue them."
"Oh, I tinks dey cans be persuaded," Buzz Popinski says.
"How's that?" Doc Quantum asks.
"I fills cargo hold wit finest Russian Wodka. Dey vill want to lets us through to get it."
"Dang! We had liquor on board the whole trip?" Kenny says, getting up.
"NYET!" Buzz exclaims. "Zis why I not tells you we had cargo!"
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Post by mh on Feb 13, 2016 23:42:15 GMT -6
as the monkey alliance leave the ship and reach the entrance to the enclosed veneutian city, the burly guard snarls, "listen earth-sacks, just turn around and get you inferior earth bodies back in your inferior earth space junk pile, and go back to that big ball of sh ...."
"hey!" cries mh.
"wait! we need their aid!" says a man who appears to just have beamed-up, star trek style.
"*gasp!*" cries the guard. "it's venus's greatest hero! doctor spaceman!"
"hello earthmen!" he exclaims, "i'm not just a doctor ... i'm also a spaceman!"
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Post by mh on Feb 14, 2016 0:02:05 GMT -6
before anyone can respond, a creature bursts from a large vent, and dr. spaceman immediately blasts it to smithereens.
"see!" cries the guard. "we don't need your inferior earthman interference!"
suddenly a hot female guard steps out and exclaims, "remo! we should hear them out -- we've lost communication from the outside. things may have become desperate."
"hubba hubba" -- babu murmers lowly. "er ... we have an assistant in the old monkey alliance venetian HQ! he crash landed on earth. he says his venusian monkey-house interns are in danger! and we've come to rescue them. the monkey alliance leave no man behind! well ... yeah i guess we did actually leave donnie behind ... but we kinda forgot. donnie was really jesse's intern ... and sort of a weird guy ..."
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Post by mh on Feb 14, 2016 0:13:07 GMT -6
"your odd and inconsistent story has moved me earthman, "says the woman, who babu notices has a name tag that says 'velina'. "i'm opening the bay doors."
she presses some control panel buttons, and the doors open to reveal a ghastly site. velina screams.
"s ... s ... see earth-sacks," stammers the burly guard, "everything is ... f ... f ... fine."
as the monkey alliance members stare doctor spaceman runs out, joining the venutian marines, and begins to blasting away.
"they're getting stronger! it's having no effect!" he cries.
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Post by mh on Feb 14, 2016 1:14:31 GMT -6
immediately the monkey alliance leap into action.
babu begins pounding them with a discarded lead pipe, doc grabs a laser rifle and begins firing, and mh shoots holes thru the slime creatures to no effect. the venusian marines however, are able to escape with their injured to their lead-lined slime-proof ship.
"retreat behind the lead bay doors!" cries dr. spaceman, and as they enter velina shuts them closed, and puts on the force field.
from the windows they can see the slime monsters angrily banging into the force field.
"that was rough! says babu. "at least drivtaan was able to escape using his super-speed, to go and rescue donnie's interns."
"drivtaan was here?!" says mh. "i haven't seen him in what ... a year?"
"he came here with us!" says babu, "try and keep up!"
"you saved us blabo blanka!" cries velina, embracing him. being that babu baboon is one of those words venutian's are unable to pronounce, she screws the pronunciation up horribly.
babu: velina, my name's babu baboon.
velina: blabo blanka.
babu: no babu baboon!
velina: blabo blanka! babu: babu baboon!!
velina: blabo blanka!!
parched from their exchange, babu goes to the venutian water fountain, velina still gazing at him. mh sidles up and whispers, "well baboon, you've managed to hook up with a hot alien, you hairy captain kirk."
"shut up, shut up, shut up!" yells blabo blanka.
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Post by mh on Feb 14, 2016 14:53:47 GMT -6
grasping velina in terror as he watches the green slime thru the force-field protected windows, the burly guard remo yells, "doctor spaceman!!!! these lurgen-fightless earth-sissies have failed us! *pant pant* we should not hide behind them!"
"you're hiding behind velina." replies doctor spaceman calmly.
"i outrank her!" cries remo. "I'm flargen rank! if the green slime break thru she'll just have to take one for the team! without me, morale would collapse! venus space-dock 34719 would fall!"
"idiot," mutters doctor spaceman. "i'd better go slow them down."
grasping his level 7 laser from his 'golf bag like' arsenal -- a level 7 laser only to be used in eminent planet destruction emergencies -- 'doctor spaceman' pushes a button on his suit and re-appears outside the station.
"get 'em doctor spaceman! get 'em!" cries remo.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 20, 2016 8:50:10 GMT -6
MH and Babu try to charge one of the largest slime creatures and with a large tentacle, it swats them, sending them crashing through an exit door. THey find themselves in one of the many resort areas that lay across Venus.
Venusian steel drum music is playing from speakers hanging from palm trees. Several slime creatures are laying in lounge chairs surrounding a large swimming pool. They all look over at MH and Baboon and start to rise.
"Aw crap," MH says. "We've interrupted their relaxation time."
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Post by mh on Apr 1, 2016 23:11:16 GMT -6
"sod off!" one of them says.
"huh?" says babu dumbstruck.
"sod off!" says another one.
"you heard us!" says a purple one. "we're on vacation! tralala! and in our language that means sod off!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 2, 2016 10:31:27 GMT -6
"Vacation?!!" Babu exclaims. "What about those crazed tentacle monsters that have been running amok?"
"Yeah! What about that?" MH says. "THey've caused all sorts of damage and fatalities!!"
"I was under the impression that this was a pet friendly resort. Tralala," says the purple one.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 18, 2016 19:14:14 GMT -6
Suddenly, Buzz Popinski bursts in carrying an armfull of vodka bottles. "Ah good. I arrives just in times."
"What's all that?" Babu asks, looking at the vodka bottles.
"Wodka."
"Vodka?" MH says.
"Da," Buzz replies. "Dere is only vun vay to defeat the slime monsters. And dot is vis ze drinking game."
"Drinking game?" the purple one scoffs. " You'll find you have bitten off more than you can chew. Tralala!"
"Kenny!" Babu calls out. Get over here... wherever you are. We could use your help right about now!"
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Post by mh on Oct 1, 2016 22:10:04 GMT -6
proposing a drinking game, the venusian version of 17th century duel, the venusians immediately respond.
"kenny, can you outdrink them?" whispers babu.
smelling the gurgling venusian vodka, kenny says, "hummm. i dunno."
"gasp!" says mh. "that's the first time i heard kenny have any doubt he could outdrink anybody!
and that includes buddy! and camden counties' local celebrity tim stack!"
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Post by mh on Oct 17, 2016 20:30:08 GMT -6
the venusians bring out their gigantic 7 foot champion serge, who begins sucking down vodka like water.
"you wanna go bitch?" says kenny," and he turns up a tumbler of vodka.
minutes later, mh exclaims, "what's keeping kenny up? he's drank almost 3 gallons of that crap! i heard a venusian whisper that the serge-bot 57000 has 27 livers! kenny doesn't stand a chance! he's a damn human after all! look how he's weaving around!"
"yeah. but remember, kenny never goes down." says babu. "kenny's never been unconscious in his whole life. well, maybe semi-conscious! maybe semi-conscious most of the time. but if these venusians even want a chance of taking out kenny -- they'd better bring paint thinner. or kyptonite!"
"we're officially out of venusian vodka!" yells a judge. "we'll have to switch to malt liquer!"
"welcome to my parlor, says th' spider to the fly." rasps a staggering kenny drunkenly to serge.
serge looks a bit shaken.
and they pull out a cart full of iced 40's.
"now it's done man against machine." says kenny, grabbing a 40, and cracking it open.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 18, 2016 21:29:53 GMT -6
Kenny starts pounding one malt liquer after another. Before long, he is double fisting them.
Serge starts to shake on his feet, shudder, then spouts start to erupt from his joints, leaking, as his livers start to run out of room.
"He's sprung a leak! Tralala!" exclaims one Venusian.
"He's sprung several! Tralala!" exclaims another.
Suddenly, Serge sets down his drink, begins to shake, then his head flies into the air as a geyser of vodka and malt liquor erupts from his neck.
"Ve haz a vinner!" exclaims Popinski.
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Post by mh on Oct 19, 2016 11:11:44 GMT -6
noticing the vodka-bot, "what's up with serge?" ask babu.
"tralala!" yells a venutian. "oh don't mind him. serge, before his upgrade, was 'the stab-bot 5000'. capital punishment is a little freaky here."
"yikes!" exclaims babu.
"and lowly, "serge is scarin' me."
doctor spaceman walks over and scans kenny.
"flurgen!" he cries. "you could run a small city's water purification plant on this liver! what is he, a mutated venusian mountain yak? i thought they were extinct!
"no doctor spaceman," says babu, "he's no mountain yak. he's a fat-woman fixated, potentially violent alcoholic scientific genius, from earth."
"flurgen," says doctor spaceman looking at the readout. "these kidneys are insane! but how did he hold all that liquid matter?"
"oh he didn't," says babu. "look at his pants! kenny is wearin' 6 boxes of adult diapers and seven extra pairs of chinos! we are aware of how venusians pride their drinking games, and the monkey alliance didn't come to lose! he's padded up like the sexiest man in china!"
"tralala!" yells doctor spaceman.
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