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Post by mh on Nov 18, 2013 0:52:13 GMT -6
kenny & buddy & the secret of the mummy's monkey's tomb
a thrilling tale of adventure & romance starring kenny and buddy part 1
sir kenneth and count budrick, unable to re-accustom themselves to their old mundane monkey-house lives after enjoying the trappings of wealth and privilege during their exciting adventure in 'monkeyhouse murder mystery', have decided for a time to forgo their previous lives as mechanical and scientific monkey alliance geniuses, and have spent several weeks sunning, drinking, and hobnobbing on the yachts of the super rich. currently they are traveling with the van joneses, a wealthy middle aged couple & their circle of friends, all whom find Kenny & buddy endlessly fascinating.
sipping his wine spritzer, on the deck of the 'lily mae 2' kenny says "count budrick, now that I've done tasted the spoils of being of royal bearing, i can't face just being a brilliant and hamsome assistant to the monkey alliance no more. my poor beautiful fiancé will done have to just forget me."
"don't you miss babu baboon & all the guys, "asks buddy, as he finishes off the last of his beefeater's martini.
"well sure, "says kenny, "we'll probably go back someday. if that stupid monkey-mobile don't blowed up & killed them all without us there to fix it."
a large 50-ish lady pulling a sickly looking guy along with her comes over.
"sir kenneth & count budrick!" she exclaims. your friend the captain is absolutely charming. I've never met a famous explorer before. i'm going to go freshen up! ta ta!"
the captain, the famous explorer, is none other than Kenny & buddy & the monkey alliance's high school janitor friend, tony boloney
"guys," says tony, "i appreciate you taking me with you and all, but all this dom perignon and the fancy food. is giving me the runs somethin' awful. and i think that old girl expects me to throw her a f-ck. if it's all the same to you i'd like to get some pabst blue ribbon, a fried boloney sandwich, and bang that maid with the fat ass that's giving me the eye."
"dangit captain tony boloney, "exclaims kenny, "we're about to dock & visit an ancient sumerian cave, predating the egyptians, known as the monkey king burial cave, and rumor has it that it might contain the recipe for the first malt based beverage -- aka malt liquer -- ever produced by man! and also the the eye of the sumerian idol, which if we find it, is worth a fortune -- me, buddy & you slightly will be stinkin' rich! try to act classy and don't ruin things."
"dang sir kenneth." says buddy, "what happened? yer a soundin' awful smart."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 19, 2013 8:34:25 GMT -6
"naw, I done read it from the brochure," Kenny says. He holds up the brochure. "See, it says it right here. 'The cavern isan ancient sumerian cave, predating the egyptians, known as the monkey king burial cave, and rumor has it that it might contain the recipe for the first malt based beverage -- aka malt liquer -- ever produced by man. It is also rumored to be home to the legendary lost eye of the sumerian idol, said to be worth millions...
"We gots to find it!" Buddy says enthusiastically.
"Speaking of rare treasures, look what I've got" Toney Baloney says, walking up with three Pabst Blue Ribbons.
"Where the heck did you get those?" Kenny asks.
"Hipsters love this stuff. I got it from our hosts' kid, Niles. He's got a whole stash of this stuff."
"Niles?"
"The guy over there wearing the Rough Justice frames and a plaid flannel shirt even though he's in the freaking bahamas."
Kenny, Buddy, and Tony hold up their PBLs towards Niles in salute and the rich hipster kid flashes them back a peace sign.
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Post by mh on Nov 19, 2013 23:28:39 GMT -6
almost exactly 24 hours later, looking quite dashing in their exploring clothes
kenny, buddy & tony boloney are back on ship with the lost eye of the sumerian eye of the idol and several thick nearly indecipherable pages of malt beverage recipes.
"tell us again how you found the idol, "exclaims mrs. van jones, as her other guest stare in delight.
"well," said kenny, "in the catacombs, our guide had done read this warning that said, 'anybody what touches this idol will done be horribly cursed', but I said i don't care what if some dead monkey king cusses at me, and took this here giant ruby I found while a looking for the snack bar."
the guest all clap excitedly.
unseen, a hunched lumbering figure climbs heavily aboard the boat.
and a maid with a large behind winks at captain boloney.
"uhhh, I gotta go guys, " says tony. "I got some more explorin' to do."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 20, 2013 10:08:03 GMT -6
Kenny and Buddy are looking over the ancient scrolls full of ancient malt liquor recipes. "Durn, how are we supposed to make this stuff?" Kenny says. "Some of these ingredients... I don't think they done even exisis no more."
"I might be able to help with that," Niles says, walking up as he sipped a Pabst Blue Ribbon. "I know a guy who knows a guy who specializes in that sort of thing. He works for auseum in their restoration department. If I help you out, you've got to bring me along to sample the goods. My hipster pals would sell their left nut to be able to try malt liquors of a lost era."
"Aw man," Buddy moans. "We gotta bring the hipster doofus along?"
"Yes, you've got to bring the hipster doofus along," Niles says in a mocking sing-song voice.
"Durn. I didn't mean to say that out loud," Buddy says.
Suddenly, everyone turns as a scream came from the other side of the yacht.
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Post by mh on Nov 21, 2013 18:22:14 GMT -6
they run around to the other side of the ship, the young doofus niles the fastest, and find the maid with the big hind quarters in a panic.
"it was terrible!" she exclaims.
"guys," whispers tony boloney, straightening his clothes, "i slipped over to my cabin to get myself a little 'protection', and when I got back mabel was screamin' her head off! did she find out i'm a HS janitor or something?"
"hey," says niles," I got a look at what she saw! hang on a minute!"
quickly, he returns with a tattered old coverless comic book.
"he looked just like this!" niles exclaims," holding the book open. "except he wasn't holding a box of twinkies, and batman wasn't standing around behind him."
"hey, what's up with this crazy mist?" asks tony.
"well," said niles," before everybody else got here, the mist came up & he just disappeared into it."
the captain comes over, looking distraught. "the ship's controls have been badly damaged -- repairs could take hours or a day! who would've done such a thing?"
"okay, "that's done did it, "says Kenny, grasping the eye of the idol possessively, "time to use the monkey alliance signaling device in my watch."
 
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 21, 2013 22:03:54 GMT -6
double post
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 21, 2013 22:04:12 GMT -6
"Okay, I used the signal device and I thinks we done got a response," Kenny tells Tony, Niles and the maid. "So we should be okay."
Suddenly, a red and blue blur swoops down. "Okay, I done heard yer dang signal watch, so I's here to save the day,"
"SuperJesse?" Kenny exclaims. "What the hell?"
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Post by mh on Nov 22, 2013 12:40:02 GMT -6
"I don't know what you expect, "says super-jesse, "everybody is got lives & can't drop everything whenever one of you guys gets a bugger up his nose. plus the monkeymobile is at pep-boys a gettin' a tune-up."
"pep boys?!" cries count buderick. "those community college degree mechanics are liable to open the wrong cold fusion tube & wipe out a quarter of the U.S.!"
nile's uncle reginald comes running up.
"oh my g-d, I've just heard!" he exclaims. "what an ordeal! sir kenneth, are you unharmed my brave knight? my prince of a blue boy?"
"i was the one who got ordeal-ed," says the maid with the junk in the trunk.
"oh, no one's talking to you!" exclaims reginald.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 22, 2013 13:58:56 GMT -6
This is Reginald," Kenny says, introducing the older man to Supr Jesse.
"Wow, observes Super Jesse, looking at Reginald who is looking at Kenny. "I bet he could rub your feet for hours."
"Yes..." muses Reginald. "Yes I could."
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Post by mh on Nov 23, 2013 20:27:43 GMT -6
"well, that's very nice of yuh reggie,", says kenny, "but not now, we need to find a way outta here! this has poor count buderick very ... "
"distraught?" asks Reginald.
"yes that's it!" exclaims kenny. "super-jesse, can you push this boat back to the U.S.? captain tony boloney, the famous explorer, has a hankerin' for some pabst blue ribbon. he enjoys a slummin' with the commoners."
"i'll try!" says super-jesse.
snatching the comic from niles kenny says, "gimme that! i'm gonna go take my knighted but to the terlet. i gotta maek a big family of chocolate snakes."
"isn't sir kenneth droll!" says mrs. van jones.
"he's a dream, "says reginald.
"buddy, super-jesse, "whispers tony boloney, "has anyone even thought of following that trail of bare footsteps?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 24, 2013 18:12:53 GMT -6
The sound of a toilet filled the air as Kenny stepped out of the bathroom. "Durn, I feel five pounds lighter!" Kenny says.
"Glad you're finally out of there!" Niles say. "I contacted my pal's pal who works at the museum. "He was pretty excited and can't wait to see those ancient formulas. If he's able to reproduce those ancient malt liquors, you and Buddy could make millions!"
"Me an' Buddy are gonna be millionaires?" Kenny exclaims, eyes wide with surprise.
Meanwhile, Buddy, Toney Baloney, and SuperJesse are following the wet footprints. "It looks like they're heading to the engine room," Toney says.
Suddenly, there's a crash and the engine stops and then the power goes out. "Y'all can't blame this one on me!" SuperJesse exclaim.
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Post by mh on Nov 24, 2013 18:28:07 GMT -6
"you guys stay back, " says super-jesse, "with my powers i'll .."
a red rock comes flying out of the engine room door & smacks SJ in the head.
"hey now, what th' ... omg, it's red kryp-to-nite! what strange & crazy side effects will it cause?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 25, 2013 20:02:09 GMT -6
Buddy and Tony stare in shock as a purple aura surrounds SupeJesse. For a slit second, he grows transparent and then splits into two images. One wearing a blue costume and surrounded by a blue aura and one wearing a red costume and surrounded by a red aura. The auras fades and the two Jesses grow solid.
"Holy S--t!" Tony exclaims. "He's split into SuperJesse Red and SuperJesse Blue!"
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Post by mh on Nov 26, 2013 1:36:32 GMT -6
"well, i'm gunna go & took a nap," says SuperJesse Red, and leaves.
"as he leaves SuperJesse Blue says, "my only power is clever retorts!"
"and that's gonna help us how?" asks Kenny.
"hah! says SuperJesse Blue. "i can't top that!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 26, 2013 7:38:59 GMT -6
Buddy, Tony, and SuperJesse Blue Step forward. Tony grabs the door knob and throws open the door.
Inside, they see a large mummy smashing the living hell out of everything in the engine room. It turns to them and snarls, "Gnaaaaa!!!"
At the sight of the mummy, everyone screams, "Yaaaa!!!"
"SuperJesse Red, get yer scrawny butt down here and help us!" SuperJesse Blue shouts. "You done got all the powers, you lockeyhead!"
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