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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 19, 2013 11:37:41 GMT -6
"He's so fluffy!" Taffy squealed, hugging Bandit the Baboon hound. Bandit starts licking Taffy's face, sending her into peals of laughter.
"Oh God," MH groans as he watches. "I never thought I could be so jealous of a dog...."
"MH, would you focus?" Babu Baboon snaps.
He turns to Mushy, who is now sitting on the couch in their lounge. A blanket has been thrown over his shoulders and he's clutching a cup of coffee. "Do you remember how you came to be wondering the streets?"
"My first memory is of being in a pod. I think we were grown there. A speaker inside the pod kept talking about you guys... finding you and destroying you..."
"That would explain why you kept calling our names," Doc says.
"We were eventually released from the pods and loaded onto 18 wheelers. We drove in darkness for a while until the trucks stopped. The hatches then opened and they turned us loose to wonder about the city."
Babu looks over at MH. "Hey, I thought I asked you to focus. What are you staring at now?"
"That," MH says pointing to the upper far corner of the room. "When did we get an extra security camera?"
In the darkened room, the pudgy looking guy is sipping from a Big Gulp as he watches the group with anxious anticipation. When he sees MH point out the camera, he does a spit take and sprays Mountain Dew all over the screen.
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Post by mh on Nov 19, 2013 22:34:40 GMT -6
"no they did not!" exclaims babu.
steve, tapping away on his laptop, using his improved monkey alliance version of google earth, cries "got him!"
"what?! it can't ... " exclaims the pudgy guy.
"steve? when did you get here?!" exclaims babu.
"i've been here, "steve replies. "gill & i have been playing halo 5 in the gaming room for 26 hours!"
"looking over steve's shoulder, doc von quantum says, "babu, i've got the coordinates .."
"go get his ass, "replies babu, looking into the camera menacingly.
"ghaaaa!!!" screams the pudgy guy.
a split second later the pudgy guy hears a voice behind him say, "hello nosy!"
before he can scream again, doc van quantum grabs him & they are both teleported back to Monkey-House HQ.
looking around bewildered & terrified, the pudgy guy rasps mutely.
"okay, tell us everything, and quickly." says babu.
the pudgy guy tries to talk, but nothing comes out. he's too terrified to speak.
mh looks him closely in the face, and with a smile says, "he's gonna be stubborn. i'll go and heat up the waffle iron."
"ghaaaa!!!" screams the pudgy guy again.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 20, 2013 6:54:54 GMT -6
"MH will start with your hand and keep going until he gets to .... well... you know," Babu says.
"He can't do that!" the pudgy guy blurts, "You guys are super heroes!"
"You should have figured out by now we're not your daddy's super heroes," Doc Quantum says.
"Yeah!" Steve exclaims. "We're all dark and gritty and stuff!" Everyone just ives Steve a look.
"Unless you want to end up looking like the special at Denny's, you'd better start talking," Babu says.
""What do you want to know?" the pudgy guy says.
"Why were you spying on us for one. What's with the home grown plant zombies is another," Babu says.
"The camera's are so I can keep an eye on you. We planted them during your last termite inspection. THe zombie horde was to try and get you out of Justice City..."
"Who's your employer?" Babu says.
"I can't say.... he'll kill me!" the pudgy guy says.
"Okay, it's wffle time!" babu calls out to MH.
"Nooooo!!!" the pudgy guy cries.
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Post by mh on Nov 21, 2013 23:22:24 GMT -6
"okay, okay, i'll talk!" pudgy exclaims. "my name is max glunkstein and i'm just a low-level weasel. there are several of us. we're suppose to keep tabs on you, and report back ..."
"report back to who," asks babu.
"yeah, to who, "asks mh, carrying the waffle iron on an extention cord, "ooops!"
mh takes the open waffle iron and shoves it into max's meaty rear end.
"omg! -- ouch!!!" max screams. "these are knit slacks! you burned a hole right thru!! I just bought these, you guys are mean!! it's gary degaton! I report to gary degaton!!!!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 22, 2013 13:53:49 GMT -6
"Mayor Bruce Campbell's office," the voice on telephone says. A chainsaw can be heard in the background.
"This is Babu Baboon of the Monkey Alliance. I was calling to make sure you and your staff are okay."
"Don't worry about me," the mayor says. "Fighting zombies is an old past time of mine. "You just worry about saving the city. Hey, get away from my secretary!" The chainsaw noise picks up followed by a zombie scream."
"We think we've got a couple of leads on stoping them."
"Good man. Gotta run now. Things are heating up now. Hey ugly! Over here!...." the telephone clicks off.
"Sounds like the mayor's got things under control there," Babu says. "He.... actually sounded like he wa ejoying himself. Now how do we fight the horde out there? My first instinct would be to go out there with a bunch of weed whackers..."
"But those aremy brothers and sisters!" Mushy exclaims.
"That's why it was just my first instinct," Babu says. "Kenny and Buddy were able to make you normal... well, as normal as a man-shaped intelligent mushroom gets, but we need a quicker way of transforming your people. We can't just bring you in and transform you one at a time. We'll never be able to take the fight the Degaton that way. Anyone got any ideas?"
Kenny and Buddy stat t rub their cins thoughtfully.
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Post by mh on Nov 23, 2013 0:44:57 GMT -6
(damn baboon!)
just then, mh, who had been away momentarily, comes in with the klingerbot 5000.
"danger! danger!" it shrieks metallically, and outstretches it arms toward mushy, who flinches.
"hold on big boy, "says mh, "save it for the others.
"mh," says babu, "just what in hell are you .... hey!"
"that's right says mh. "why didn't I think of this before -- i must have brain damage! we can send this walking abomination out there, and he can probably electrify the skulls of about 90% of those things, until the rest finally get smart enough to crack his stupid robot head open with bricks, rocks, and bats! but by then ..."
"but the poor klingerbot will be dead!" exclaims kenny.
"well, says mh, "those things tried to friggin' eat me -- it's revenge time! if he gets destroyed, me & babu will chip in & buy you a early 1980's classic space invaders game. it's much more fun, nicer, and doesn't malfunction & freak out all the time."
"emm-ahche," says the klingerbot 5000, "come on & told me a krazy joak about klanger!!"
"okay fine, you friggin' psycho," says mh, thinking. "lessee ... what 2 things are hairy, wear dresses, are stupid, and have big noses?"
"I don't know, "says the klingerbot.
"klanger & kenny's mama!" says mh.
"hey!" cries Kenny.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 23, 2013 11:26:01 GMT -6
"We needs something that works a lot faster," Babu Baboon says.
"Hey, Kenny. Do you still have that gatlin gun that shoots syringes that you and Buddy whipped up when you had that hairbrained scheme to give everyone in Justice their flue shots all at once?"
"Yeah, sure," Kenny says.
"If we fill those with miracle gro and then taser all of them to shock ther bains, then we might make them all close to human, like mushy here."
"Great!" Doc exclaims.
"The problem will be fighting our way to the Monkey-mobile," Babu says.
"Not so great," Doc groans.
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Post by mh on Nov 23, 2013 13:17:57 GMT -6
getting the syringe shooter, and the hurriedly put together "veggie zombie taser 6000", the klingerbot bursts from the entrance electro blasting and smashing his way thru the vegetable zombie horde, clearing a path for babu, mh, and buddy to get to the monkeymobile.
"klingerbot," yells babu, "once we're in the air, "haul yer metal carcass back, get inside and guard the entrance from zombies!"
"but what if they want to told me some crazy joakes about clanger?!" bellows the klingerbot metallic-ly.
"there not going to tell you any klanger -- I mean klinger jokes!" cries mh. "babu, this bucket of bolts has got a few transistors loose!!"
"follow my instructions kingerbot, "says babu, and then adds, "they HATE klinger, and if they break in, they'll destroy all our files of crazy jokes!"
"Ghaaaaa!!!" cries the kingerbot in robotic terror.
suddenly dr. quantum transports into the monkeymobile & fires it up. the veggie zombies quickly move away from it.
"vegetation hates this thing!" says dr. Q as the others board the monkeymobile. "it why we have the worst looking shrubbery in the entire justice mall."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 25, 2013 19:12:27 GMT -6
As they fly over the crowd nearest the mall, Babu starts firing the syringe gun into the zombie horde and Buddy zaps them with the taser.
"This is going slow," MH says.
"Worse than that," Babu says. "Once they're converted to something resembling normal, the zombie zombies turn on them like they would regular people."
"So we're worrying about the mushrooms hurting each other now?" MH says.
"Didn't Mushy seem a little human to you?" Babu says.
"Well, yeah..."
"Then I'm worried. Take over the syringe shooter. I'm going down there."
"Are you nuts?" Doc Quantum says, turning around in the driver's seat.
Babu leaps over the side of the Monkey-mobile and races for the entrance of the mall. He begins tossing zombies out of the mall court and through the gate before slamming it shut and barricading it once more against the horde. Once the mall is secured, he begins picking up the de-zombified zombies and putting them on the other side of the gate.
"At least now we have somewhere to store them," Babu says, getting back into the Monkey-mobile.
'Yeah, but now it's going to take even longer," MH groaned.
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Post by mh on Nov 26, 2013 18:46:36 GMT -6
"y'know the ground's really wet, "says mh, taking something from under his seat. "it would conduct electricity really well."
"wait, "says babu, " that's not that rusty old WW2 war surplus bazooka you and hairnutts bought at a swap meat is it?"
"no," says mh, "it WAS what you just said, but we painted it and wrote "monk-zooka" on the side. it's official m.a. equipment now."
"what in the name of sergeant rock do you got in yer head to do with it?!" exclaims babu.
"well, "replies mh, "we have that grid with those dangerous-looking power lines just yards from the mall that everyone complains about."
"oh, no," says babu, as mh fires at the bottom of the huge grid tower with a massive boom. with sparks flying it crashes to the ground.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 26, 2013 22:50:07 GMT -6
The grid tower crashes to the wet ground and the current begins to surge through the plant zombies. They all begin to convulse violently and then fall to the ground.
The air was filled with moans and wails. The zombies twitched and clutched at themselves as if in agony.
"What's wrong with them?" MH asks.
"Their brains have been made normal, but they still have zombie bodies. They can feel all the wounds," Babu says. "The miracle grow will take care of that. I'll fire the gun. MH, you take those extra syringes and put those knife throwing skills to work."
Eventually every zombie on the block has been transformed and transported to safety. "Whew. That was a chore," Doc Quantum says.
"If the streets are crawling with zombies, it'll take forever!" MH says.
"Yeah, but are they really?" Babu says. "They were unloaded from 18 wheelers to specific spots. Like Degaton wants everyone to think it's a full scale zombie invasion. Doc, take us higher so we can see what we're really dealing with."
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Post by mh on Nov 29, 2013 2:57:30 GMT -6
as they get far above the city, they see the streets are clear.
"he must've sent everything he had at us, "says babu.
"but look at that truck, "says doc quantum. "it looks a lot like someone trying to make an escape."
"it does! go after it, "says babu.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 29, 2013 18:45:26 GMT -6
The Monkey-mobile speeds up until it's directly behind and above the space behind the 18-wheeler. "Hit it with the grappling hook," Babu Baboon says.
The grappling hook snags the back of the truck and pulls it to a screaching halt. THe monkey-mobile lands and everyone hops out.
"Open the back," Babu says, carrying the syringe shooter. THe doors open and the zombies start to pile out. Baby start blasting as Doc works the taser.
The driver of the truck hops out and starts to run. "Don't let him get away!" Babu shouts.
MH breaks into a run and tackles the driver. babu, Doc Quantum, and Buddy walk up, leaving several newly created plant peopleto wonder off in confusion.
"Don't hurt me!" the driver squeals.
"Where were you going with the zombies?!" Babu shouts.
"Drivtaan's house!" the driver yelps. Don't hurt me!"
"Then tell us where these things are being created," Babu says.
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Post by mh on Nov 30, 2013 20:00:59 GMT -6
"if i tell will you let me go?" the driver asks pleadingly.
babu laughs appreciatively, and the driver smiles hopefully. then babu suddenly stops cackling and says, "no."
"you're funny," mh tells the driver. "we like ya. we're gonna hurt ya."
"they're growing them at 'vegan mcguires'!" he cries. "the vegetarian restaurant chain! the owner made a deal because 'meaty mcgees' is killing him! his one request is after they took care of you guys, they tear the place apart! don't hurt me!"
"that sucks!" says doc quantum. "drivtaan, hairbutt, and i are morally opposed to consuming animal flesh! 'vegan mcguire's' tofu-turkey platter with bean curd, or 'tofurcky platter' if you will, is da bomb! where the heck will we have lunch now?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 1, 2013 13:46:47 GMT -6
The Monkey Alliance members burst through the back door of Vegan McGuire's, startling the kitchen staff. The head chef throughs a butcher's knife that he had been using to slice carrots at MH's head, narrwoly missing him.
Babu swoops in and grabs him. "Where are the pods located?"
"You can't make me talk!" the head chef snarls.
"I thought you might say that," babu replies. "Luckily, I brought some persuasion. Break out the persuasion, Buddy."Buddy holds up a bag that says 'Meaty McGee's'.
"The double stacker burger meat explosion," Doc Quantum says. "Even the bun is made out of meat."
Babu squeezes the chef's jaw. "Open wide."
"I awk! I awk!" the chef squeeks. Babu lest go of his jaw. "Downstairs," the chef says miserably.
They take the elevator downstairs and discover a room full of pods growing plant zombies. Babu cocks the syringe shooter and says, "Lets boogie."
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