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Post by mh on Nov 27, 2013 2:31:25 GMT -6
"dammit," cries superjesse red, "i cain't even get in 40 winks?" and he hits the mummy with his incredible heat vision.
the mummy spins & disappears.
"well, "he's made sure we ain't going no place, "says buddy.
"just give him the damn eye of the idol!" cries tony boloney.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 27, 2013 17:59:46 GMT -6
"We can't give him the eye if we don't knows where he is," Buddy says. "We better get upstairs and let the others know what happened."
When they get upstairs, Kenny shines the flashlight on them and says, "What the heck's going on? We gotta get back to the U.S. of A.! Niles done found somebody at a museum that's gotta help us figure out how to make those ancient malt liguers!"
"We've got bigger problems than just the power being out," Tony says. "There's a magic mummy loose on the ship! He's the one that knocked the engine out!"
"Yeah," SuperJesse Red says. "And my damn powers don't work against magic!"
"Wait a minute," Kenny says. "Are there two Jesses now?"
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Post by mh on Nov 29, 2013 2:39:22 GMT -6
"gentlemen!" cries mrs. faversham approaching them, carrying her cat.
"I just saw that horrible creature! but when it saw 'mrs. mittens' it shrieked and disappeared. isn't that strange?"
"that's it!" cries Kenny.
moments later superjesse red has flown to all the nearby land he can find, and filled the ship with a couple hundred stray cats.
"look at all the kitties!" exclaims superjesse blue. "this is like heaven."
"oh g-d, my allergies!" exclaims tony boloney.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 29, 2013 14:30:22 GMT -6
The mummy suddenly reappears and upon seeing the cats screams, "Gnaaaa!! The servants of Bastet!" and starts to run. The bandages that flap behind him look like tempting strings, so the cats give chase.
Finding another batch of cats waiting for him at the other end of the ship, he runs back and then sees the first batch of cats. He continues to run back and forth screaming, "Gnaaaaa!!!"
"This is a weird day," SuperJesse Blue says.
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Post by mh on Nov 30, 2013 20:47:13 GMT -6
finally the mummy dives into the ocean, angrily gives them a long mummy curse, and swims away.
as he goes, kenny throws the eye of the idol at him, and he catches it. "take it, you durn monster squad reject!" says Kenny.
"well i'm glad he's gone," says tony boloney. "where'd that maid with the big heiny get off to?"
"can you fix the boat with yer super-speed superjesse red?" asks buddy.
"one way to find out!" he answers.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 1, 2013 11:24:09 GMT -6
SuperJesse Red starts moving at super speed, slamming parts together. In short order, the engine explodes, going up in a ball of flame and SuperJesse Red has to race to put it out before it moves to the rest of the ship.
"What the hell?" Kenny says. "You were supposed to fix it!"
"Do I look like a damn mechanic?" SuperJesse Red exclaims.
"What're we going to do now?" Buddy says forlornly.
"We're going to have to go with the first plan," Buddy sas. "SuperJesse Red pushes us back to the US."
"Aw man," SuperJesse Red moans.
Soon, SuperJesse Red is behind the boat swimming and pushing as SuperJesse Blue yells directions.
In the cabin, eginald is moaing into his hands, "My poor yacht! The engine room is in shambles ad there's cat pee everywhere!"
"I'm real sorry about this, Reggie," Kenny says. "But once we done decipher these anciet malt liquer recipes, Buddy and me will be swimming in mone and we'll pay you back! Promise!"
Tony races into th cabin suddenly, "Hey guys, I see land!"
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Post by mh on Dec 2, 2013 23:26:45 GMT -6
as they dock & get off the ship, they all notice there are people everywhere, trying to catch a glimpse of them, and reporters are snapping pictures.
"dang," says kenny," those camera is huge! why are we so dang popular?"
"why you're famous explorers sir kenneth," says a strangely dressed lady reporter. "you're in all the papers! new york can talk of nothin' but -- you can believe!"
"why is she a talkin' so weird, "Kenny whispers to buddy."
"because, "says deskboy, appearing beside them, "this is 1934! instead of tossing the monkey mummy the eye of the idol, you accidently tossed him a glass paperweight. he cursed you back almost 80 years! the favershams & their party are back in their own time & have no memory of the last 24 hours."
"the maid with the big butt, "says tony, "she's gone?"
"affirmative," says deskboy. "oh, and you guys are the only ones that can see me. you're big celebrities here for having brought back those ancient artifacts. oh, and here."
he pushers the super-jesses together so they merge, and now super-jesse is wearing a double-breasted suit.
"can you get us back?" exclaims buddy.
laughing, deskboy says, "no. do i look like a mummy? for the most part you'll need to work this out on your own. I've helped too much already. you guys are gonna get me demoted. but i'll check on you." and he disappears.
a cabby walks up, "let me get your bags sirs. you have a suite of rooms at the waldorf! you're the toasts of new york."
"i don't like toast, "says buddy," and the cabby laughs uproariously.
"all that work i put in, "says tony. "and that maid with the big can is 79 years away. what a gyp."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 3, 2013 19:17:28 GMT -6
"It stinks being out of our time, but I gotta say this helps ease the pain," Tony Balony says, flopping into the large plush couch in the suite that had been reserved for them.
"Could be worse," Buddy agrees, pouring himself a glass of champagne.
"Say, Jesse," Tony says to Super-Jesse. "You're from Krypton. Can't you guys travel through time? Couldn't you take us home?"
"I ain't never done that before," says Super-Jesse. "What if I get lost?"
"We'll worry about that later. We'll get back somehow," Kenny says. "We done got ourselves a golden opportunity here!"
"How do you figure?" Tony asks.
"If we can do something with them malt liquor formulas here in the past, we'll have ourselves a dang malt liquer empire when we get back!" Kenny exclaims.
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Post by mh on Dec 4, 2013 22:40:25 GMT -6
they all go out on the street, and look for a bar where they can discuss their several dilemmas.
"look, it's toot shor's, "says tony boloney, "my gramps used to talk about that place! let's go there."
"I sure wish baboon & the guys was here, "says buddy, "they'd thunk up a way to get our malt liquer made & us back to 2013."
inside toots, paul kirk famed big game hunter, who has taken to being called rick nelson* in public to allow himself some anonymity, is relaxing with his inspector friend.
"paul, my flippant young friend," says the inspector, "as we've discussed, it is true that 'swing' will continue forever -- I mean, where could music go from here? and it's nice to get out of empire city and the constant gang wars. what a nuisance. but as I was going to say earlier, if only we could turn your talents for game hunting toward man-hunting!"
the inspector, sipping the last of his gin fizz, chuckles loudly.
"man-hunter ..." mutters paul kirk under his breath, scratching his chin.
"well I really have to fly," says the inspector. "the wife's waiting dinner, and fibber mcGee and molly is on tonite. that fibber McGee. is there anything he won't say?!"
as he leaves, buddy notices pauls kirk who has risen to see his friend off, and yells, "mh!"
buddy runs over and throws his arms around paul kirk's neck, "mh, i'm done so glad to see you! I just knew you guys would show up & save us!"
*the first manhunter, uncostumed, was paul kirk. later he was dan richards.
later jack Kirby created rick nelson big game hunter as the new manhunter.
the later paul kirk was an amalgamation of all these.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 5, 2013 17:36:16 GMT -6
"Hey, Joe, what's the deal? Paul Kirk says. "I don't swing that way, pal."
"Sorry," Kenny says, walking up. "He thought you were a buddy of ours."
"No problem," Paul Kirk says. "I guess I've got that kind of face. Say, you guys are those explorers who have been in all the papers. So what are you boys drinking?"
Kenny, Buddy, Tony, and Jesse join Paul Kirk at his table. During conversation, they mention the malt liquor formulas they found.
"Just so happens Iknow some guys in the brewery business," Paul Kirk says. "I could make some calls."
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Post by mh on Dec 7, 2013 23:47:51 GMT -6
snapping his fingers paul kirk says, "wait, i don't know some guys -- i know the guy! lemme go get some nickels and i'll get on the Ameche and track him down."
"huh?" says super-jesse.
"an Ameche," says kirk. "a horn, a blower ... a telephone! what's yer story, morning glory? you guys sure must have been out of the U.S. for a while."
suddenly a slightly drunken kenny blurts out, "old timey mh -- don't go to africa no more! you'll done get trampled by an elephant & cloned a bunch of times!"
"yowzers," says paul kirk chuckling, "sir kenneth, no more gin for you! switch him to scotch." then he leaves.
immediately after kirk leaves, deskboy appears behind kenny and slaps him on the back of the head.
"hey!" cries kenny, "what did you did that for?"
"you can't do anything to change the future, "says db. "if kirk doesn't die and get resurrected by the council, mh won't exist."
"oops." says kenny.
moments later paul kirk returns, with a vaguely familiar looking man.
"what luck! fellas, meet the owner of the biggest brewery in empire city. you can believe! when I told him the low-down he rushed right over. gentlemen, meet G.H. Degaton."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 8, 2013 12:08:19 GMT -6
"Nice to meetcha," Kenny says. "Uh, could you excuse me for one second?"
Kenny, Buddy, Tony, and SuperJesse go into a huddle. "What the heck is Gary Degaton doing here?" Kenny says.
"Could it be his dad or grandad?" Tony asks.
"No, Gary Degaton's dad was the Golden Age villain, Per Degaton."
"So what's he doing here?" SuperJesse says.
"His dad was a time traveller, so he must have gotten ahold of his time machine," Kenny says.
"He didn't seem to recognize you guys, so he must be from before he met the Monkey Alliance," Tony remarks.
"Uh, gentlemen?" Paul Kirk says, trying to get their attention back to Degaton.
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Post by mh on Dec 9, 2013 20:35:42 GMT -6
"oh you'll have to forgive my clients, "says deskboy, "walking up wearing an appropriate 1930's 3 piece suit. "they are absolutely exhausted from their months long exploration, and the demands of their new found fame. I suppose you can understand mr. kirk. I recognized you immediately."
"and who would you be, "asks degaton suspiciously.
"my name is er ... dursk boyd. i'm their attorney. in the matter of these ancient artifacts anyway. my clients being enormously wealthy humble men, may decide to just donate it all the the NY museum of ancient history."
"they can't do that!" exclaims degaton. and regaining his composure continues, "of course it is their decision. I understand, matters of money are beneath such gentlemen as these. excuse me for a moment."
"what the heck are you up to deskboy?!" whispers jesse, as degaton walks off with paul kirk. "we ain't neither done enormously wealthy or humbled!"
"i had to step in, "says deskboy, "this could possibly change the future."
"i must have that recipe," degaton says to paul kirk, "i need the revenue for my very important monkey research! uuuuh, it's possible that a world war might break out in a few years, and the US will need some gorilla soldiers!"
"yeah, i know, "says kirk. "but i'm not 100% sure how i feel about this stuff."
"the man who created them would almost certainly become ... president."
"i guess. maybe." says kirk, shrugging.
going back, degaton says, "lemme, pay everyone's tab, and lays down a $20.
"wait says kirk, looking at it & picking it up, "this bill looks strange -- it says 1985! gosh G.H., if i hadn't caught that counterfeit bill, you might have ended up in the ol' grey bar hotel! the big house! the hoosegow! u need to be more careful where you change yer currency!"
"i get a feeling, "deskboy whispers, "that degaton has logged in too much time travel -- more than any man ever has -- and it's making him nuts. like in the future he's judged 'criminally insane'? this might be where the insane' part began.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 11, 2013 16:17:23 GMT -6
Later, Kenny, Buddy, Tony, Desk-boy, and Super-Jesse are back in their hotel suite discussing what has happened. "We can't done let Degaton have those recipes!"
"But what if he's supposed to get them?" Desk-boy says.
"Huh?" Kenny and Buddy both say.
"Think about it," Desk-boy says. "All those crazy devices Degaton whips up for his schemes must cost a fortune. Maybe this is how he gets it. If he doesn't get his fortune for his science expiraments, no Babu Baboon and no Monkey Alliance."
"Man, you just blew my mind," Tony says.
"We need to feel this one out carefully," Desk-boy says. "There's something else to consider."
"What?" Kenny says.
"Somewhere, Degaton has a time machine," Desk-boy says. "You pinheads could use that to get home if the mummy doesn't stop you."
"I done forgot about the mummy," Kenny says miserably.
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Post by mh on Dec 12, 2013 22:59:26 GMT -6
the mummy suddenly burst thru the door, and starts choking kenny. deskboy puts a speech spell on it where it could be understood.
"where is the eye of the idol?!" it shrieks.
"here it is, dang!" yells kenny. and hands it to him. the mummy lets kenny go.
who are you anyway," asks deskboy.
"i am prince hatshepsut lll!", the mummy proclaims. i was cursed and poisoned by an evil magic maker. and i must now guard the eye of the idol for all eternity."
"wait, "says deskboy, "what if we find the time machine and we sent u back to ancient egypt. and i made you young and alive again. would u help us?"
"you could do that?" it asks.
"i can," says deskboy. "you were taken before your proper time, and the 'changing events' clause doesn't apply to you. you being here now is actually not a great thing. do we have a deal?"
hatshepsut the third nods & shakes deskboy's hand, ancient egyptian style.
"i guess there are worse things than having a powerful egyptian mummy prince on your side," says deskboy.
"i need a drink, "says tony boloney. "what a nightmare. i wish i was back on that ship again with that maid with the big rump."
"i remember her," said the mummy. "i'd like to haɪər ɵɡlɪf that!"
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