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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 13, 2013 18:44:03 GMT -6
Later, they've added clean bandages over the mummy's old bandages, put a suit on him, and a pair of sunglasses. "He done looks like the invisible man now," Kenny says.
Suddenly, a phone rings and Desk-boy answers it. "Yello?" Desk-boy listens to the voice on the other end. "...uh huh... .....uh huh... .... uh huh... Let me talk to the guys and I'll get back to you."
Desk-boy walks over to take a chair where everyone else is sitting. "That was Paul Kirk. Degaton wants to take a meeting to discuss terms where he can acquire those secret formulas."
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Post by mh on Dec 21, 2013 0:24:17 GMT -6
there's a knock on the door and as deskboy answers, paul kirk runs in.
"fellahs," i was wrong, "he exclaims. "so wrong -- you can believe!" slamming the door behind him.
"i walked in & overheard dagaton talking to these guys -- knat-zees or something."
"nazis?" asks deskboy.
"yeah something like that, replies kirk. "said he can't let angus mctavish get ahold of the recipe or he'll create "mctavish thunder", and ruin all his plans."
"oh my whatever," says db, "that formula must be the secret to 'mctavish thunder'! the finest malt liquer ever devised by man."
suddenly a metal hand smashes thru the door.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 21, 2013 18:01:53 GMT -6
"American schweinhunds!" a booming voice calls from the otr side ofthe door. a blond haired man sporting a flat top pokes his head through. "You will zurrender the formulas or vace the fury of Ubermensch!"
"They sent a danged Nazi super soldier after us!" Kenny exclaims.
The Nazi juggernaut finishes reducing the door to kindling and charged into the room. "Do I need to repeat myzelf or vould you like your heads ripped vrom your zhoulderz?"
"Jesse, why don't you show this gentleman his way out?" Desk-boy smirks.
"Hot dog!" Super-Jesse says, flying at Ubermensch.
Ubermnsch rears back with his iron clad fist and sends Jesse flying across the room and crashing through the window.
"Well, that could have gone better," Desk-boy says.
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Post by mh on Dec 21, 2013 21:10:28 GMT -6
"uggg," said superjesse, "there must done be traces of krpto-nite in that metal glove/fist thingie."
two other men enter, one with a big swastika on his chest, one in a pin-stripe suit & a mask. "that guy in the mask is 'the haint'!" cries paul kirk. "we're saved!"
"nein!" cries the swastika-ed guy, "i am curt flagen, 'the masked fuhrer of empire city'! and with me is my enforcer, 'hans lieben, the metal nazi'! we have made a deal with space aliens and their suits will make us unbeatable! we ain't jus' screwin' around!"
"and that's 'the haint'!" says kirk again. "empire city's greatest hero."
"nein!" cries kurt flagen. "he has been hypnotized using alien technology. this device that looks like a ladie's compact puts him in my power. he's now mien boyfriend bobo! see the nice scarf i made for him? we are und love, right bobo?"
'the haint' stares ahead and says nothing.
"do not judge me!" flagen yells at kirk. "now give us the formula!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 23, 2013 14:43:40 GMT -6
SuperJesse flies back in, having heard everything with his super hearing. He fires a blast at the compact Flagen is holding, making it explode in his hand.
A look of dawning awareness suddenly comes into The Haint's eyes. "You bastard!" he cries, leaping onto Flagen.
"But I made you zat lovely scarf!" Flagen cries. Having occupied the masked fuhrer, SuperJesse leaps onto Hans Leiben, aka the metal Nazi, aka Ubermensh.
"This place is about to get done wrecked," Kenny exclaims.
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Post by mh on Dec 27, 2013 18:34:50 GMT -6
as jesse & the metal nazi start to trade blows, the mummy raises an arm & says some words in ancient egyptian, and the metal nazi rises in the air, unable to move
kenny and buddy try to detain "the haint", who is trying to throw curt flagen out the window.
"stop bobo!" yells curt, "once we get back to dusseldorf, they'll make another compact and we'll be ein ther snuggle bunnies again! this is the worst spat we have ever had! stop being mean to your curt-sy!"
the mummy makes hans levitate too, and deskboy says, "we should get outta here! kenny go in the hall & yell for the police, tell the hotel people these guys attacked us, and 'the haint' came to our aid, and that we're leaving. kirk, have you got a secluded place we can go?"
moments later they are zooming along in kirk's phantom cosair, nicknamed 'the flying wombat'
"this isn't really mine, "says kirk, "it belongs to a friend of mine. he and his youthful ward are out of town. i'm keeping an eye on his estate. i can put you guys up there for a while."
"are you okay, now big guy?" deskboy asks 'the haint'.
"yeah, i guess so." he replies, while guzzling some wild turkey from the wombat's mobile bar. "sorry i snapped. immediately, upon waking from my trance i remembered that guy made me put on a big pink bunny suit and hop around! it even had a fluffy little tail. oh, the humiliation. he even made me grow this mustache! he said it brought out my eyes."
"the wild turkey will help you forget, "says deskboy.
"man, this is some car, "says kenny.
"ummm," agrees the mummy.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 1, 2014 15:07:18 GMT -6
The car reaches a remote area outside of town. A hidden doorway opens up in the sid of a rocky hill and then proceeds to go down a long dark tunnel.
"Where we going?" Tony Baloney asks.
"You'll see," Paul Kirk says.
Suddenly, the car stops as it enters a well lit area. "Y'all are gonna have to help with the Haint and the Mummy," Kenny sas. "They done had too much Wild Turkey."
As they step off the platform the car has parked on, they're greeted with the sight of many trophies from a prolific crime fighting career. Just ahead is an enormous crime fighter's computer.
"Is this...?" Desk-Boy starts to ask.
"Yes indeed," Paul Kirk grins. "Welcome to the secret underground headquarters of the Plaid Terror!"
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Post by mh on Jan 2, 2014 12:22:58 GMT -6
"who?" says desk-boy.
"y'know, "replies paul kirk, "the plaid terror! as in, 'the plaid terror' & 'kid argyle'!"
"but now we done know their secret identities!" says kenny.
"ah, secret identities went out with zoot suits," replies kirk.
"we need to get the mummy inside, "cautions tony boloney. "that wild turkey ain't agreein' with him."
"help me!" cries kirk, jumping out & taking the mummy by an arm, "the last thing I need is 2000 year old mummy puke in this car."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 3, 2014 8:52:24 GMT -6
As Kenny and Buddy help the Haint and the Mummy out of the car, Tony asks Paul Kirk, "So how do you know about this?"
"Well, the Plad Terror was having a cocktail party and the banter of all the rich and spoiled was growing tired, so I decided to take a tour of the house."
"You got bored and started snooping around someone elses house," Desk-boy remarks.
"Basically, yes," Paul Kirk says. "Anyway, I was in his study looking through his books. Whe I reached for 'Crime and Punishment', the book case slid sideways, revealing a secret stairway. It led down to this headquarters, so now I'm one of the few guys who knows his secret."
"Including us," Tony says.
"Well, yeah," Paul Kirk says. "But you guys are from the future. By your time, the Plaid Terror should have retired years ago."
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Post by mh on Jan 6, 2014 22:39:51 GMT -6
the group, making themselves at home, look thru the fabulous lair.
"everything here is marked with cardboard signs," says tony. "look, plaid designation beam, plaid un-designation chamber, plaid atomic power core, plaid dead person and mummy-restorer, plaid time-machine, plaid torture chamber, ... hey guys look! a time machine!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 7, 2014 8:42:55 GMT -6
"We can done used the time machine to get back!" Kenny says excitedly.
"Not until you get those malt liquor recipes where they're supposed to go," Desk-boy says. "Otherwise you're messing with the space time continuum."
"Can't we just mail them?" Tony Baloney says.
"Too chancy." Desk-boy says. "If they get lost in the mail, history still gets changed."
"Oh man," Kenny says. "If we deliver them ourselves, we might run into them Nazis again."
"That's just a chance we'll have to take," Desk-boy says. "But you've got plenty of weapons here you can use against them."
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Post by mh on Jan 10, 2014 23:09:15 GMT -6
nearly an hour later, they are outside the brewery of 'frugal' mctavish. 'the haint' having clothed himself at stately plaid manor with a white suit resembling his usual one, shaved off his mustache, and flushed out his brain with quarts of 'wild turkey' whiskey, feels much like his old self.
"desk-boy, "he says, "you, kirk, and budrick go in, "tony, kenneth, the mummy, and myself with keep lookout. sir kenneth tells me he was boxing champion of the royal navy! his skills will come in handy in case of trouble. and we brought some 'plaid terror' weapons."
kenny looks ashamed and desk-boy says, "yeah, no doubt. we won't be long. but you guys watch out. there aren't that many brewery's around, and those nazis are liable to show up here."
going in, desk-boy, kirk & buddy barge into mctavish's office. he's a big Scotsman with a kilt & a huge red mustache.
"what's the meaning of this!" he screams.
deskboy shoves the paper with the malt liquer recipe into his hands, and after a few seconds of reading, mctavish begins to smile.
meanwhile on the street, a nordic blonde comes up behind 'the haint', a bit too relaxed from all the 'wild turkey', and pulls out a sword and a dagger.
"this is for the fatherland," she murmurs to herself.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 12, 2014 18:28:24 GMT -6
The Haint hears the sword swishing through the air and just barely manages to dodge just in time. It strikes the stone pillar he had been leaning against, sending up sparks and bits of tone.
"Scheinhund!" the nordic beauty snarls, flying at him with the dagger. The Haint grabs her wrist and spins, sending her flying.
The blonde woman somersaults through the air, landing on the Haint. He staggers on his feet and the two crash through the large lobby window.
Up in McTavish's office, Desk-boy and Buddy'seeting is inturrupted as a secretary bursts in and says, "Mr McTavish! We've got trouble in the lobby. "Ack! It must be one of me many enemies. Take note, me boy-os. Malt Liquor is no business for the faint of heart!"
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Post by mh on Jan 12, 2014 19:30:02 GMT -6
they all rush downstairs, paul kirk & buddy getting there first. the haint's suit is torn to pieces as he fights the Nordic beauty. she smashes 'the haint' across the chin with the butt of a sword & he crashes to the ground. paul kirk and buddy attack, using 1940's furniture as weapons, but she brutally side kicks them both. sending buddy out the window. kirk lands beside the dazed figure of the haint.
"verdammt!" cries the nordic temptress. "vat a shame that one so brave und handsome must die."
"that's very good of you, "says paul kirk. "i like you too! listen, ... hey! gimme some sugar!"
"I don't mean you!" she cries.
at that moment 'frugal' mctavish blasts her with a fire hose, knocking her across the room. "be gone with ye she-devil!" he screams. "i cannot feel no pity for ye! you'll freeze in that costume all wet in this weather -- ya great stupid pudding!" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 13, 2014 19:45:35 GMT -6
"Zat is no way to treat za lady," a voice suddenly says.
Everyone turns to see that the masked fuhrer and the metal nazi have returned. "Oh great," Paul Kirk says.
"You do not seem plased to see me," Curt Flagen says. "I am hurt. Hello again, my dear Haint. Your suit is torn in a way that is most pleasing to the eye."
"My fists won't be pleasing to your eye," the Haint says, jumping to his feet.
"It vould appear Brunhilda has already done a fine job of zoftening you up," Flagen says. "I vould recommend zurrendering before you are hurt further. We merely want the formulas."
"Alright! THey're back!" a voice says. A red and blue streak flies into the metal nazi, slamming him to the ground. "Get up so I can knock you down again, you sick little fatass!" SuperJesse says.
Suddenly, a laser blast strikes SuperJesse, sending him flying. Gary Degaton steps forward carrying a laser blaster. "I've just about lost patience! Give me those formulas!"
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