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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2017 13:23:24 GMT -6
"ghaaaa!" yells mh.
"now calm down there my pajamas a'wearin' pal," says kenny. "it don't all done function. the nukes are made out of nerf! ha ha ha. but we probably can done adjust the scanners to pick up the heat signature of any clost-by above ground dead guy."
"how'd you and buddy manage to do all this without anyone knowing?!" exclaims doc quantum.
"the technical stuff was done easy," replies kenny. "the worst part was done the coloring. buddy has a hard time a stayin' in the lines."
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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2017 20:06:01 GMT -6
suddenly babu walks in. "hey guys ... what the hell you doin' up here? mh, yer girlfriend mrs. faversham has clogged the toilet ... again! ha ha. you know i was starting to enjoy the "many griffith" marathon, but so many people showed up -- can't we get a little peace ... ghaaaaaa!!!!!!"
babu, seeing the uncannily precise jla satellite interior immediately assumes he's been beamed into space, into the 1970's, and into a justice league comic book. and starts to scream.
ghaaaaaa!!!!!!"
then seeing "the flash", which kenny and buddy created with one of the old discarded mannequins and wedged into the fake jla teleporter (in the spirit of authenticity), baboon's nimble mind immediately seizes upon the idea that the satellite interior is an intricately contrived fake, and the monkey alliance's own speedster 'drivtaan', gone for these many months, unbenounced to them had been murdered by one of his many enemies and his corpse shoved into the "flash" costume -- as a warning to the monkey alliance to stay out of their bidness.
"ghaaaaaaaaa!!!!" he cries again, peering around in horror. then runs into a metal beam, and collapses into a heap.
"dammit kenny! this is all your fault! you simpleton!" exclaims doc quantum.
"brabu? pal? r u done okay?" whispers kenny, leaning over him.
"**cough**, **cough** by grabthar's hammer," mutters babu weakly. "drivtann, you will be avenged. you'll pay you sick bitches."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 31, 2017 20:57:35 GMT -6
"Well, he's going to be in a pissy mood when he comes to," Doc Quantum says.
"Um, guys, this isn't the JLA satellite you linked poor McRib Gurl to, is it?" MH asks.
"Oh naw," Buddy says. "We done linked her up to the real JLA satellite's transporter."
"Yeah, we done mooch stuff off them all the time," Kenny says. "You think we could run stuff off what Mayor Bruce Campbell gives us?"
"And they've never caught on?" Doc exclaims.
"Well, they done reset their wifi password a few times," Kenny says. "But they keep letting Superman choose the new one and he always picks something like 'Great Scott' or 'Great Ceasar's Ghost'"
Suddenly, Dakota pops her head in. "Hey guys, theres a .... oh, hey, neat! When did you guys do this?"
"What is it, Dakota?" Doc asks.
"um,... things are starting to go south downstairs," she says. "This big headed douche-y guy in a labcoat showed up. Everyone's getting pissed off 'cause he's bogarting all the olive loaf."
"Oh good. Professor Awesome is here!" Babu says, sitting up.
"Dammit!" MH cries.
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Post by mh on Jan 31, 2017 23:32:14 GMT -6
after his knock to the head babu seems to have forgotten the unpleasantness.
"oh neat!" he says getting up and looking at the fake jla satellite interior. then walking up to the full sized flash wedged in the transporter, he stares it in the face for a full minute and shudders. "unnnn. creepy!"
"dakota! dr. awesome is here? goodie! you'd better go lay in some more olive loaf! he can't get enough of the stuff!"
"but get the good stuff! none of that costco crap."
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Post by mh on Jan 31, 2017 23:43:21 GMT -6
"go keep professor awesome busy." says babu. "I wanna change into a fresh costume!"
meanwhile, following orders, dakota wades thru the guests, and rushes out to mh's station wagon to go buy some more olive loaf.
professor awesome, who is gobbling olive loaf and talking to mayor bruce campbell watches her lecherously.
"yeah, prof. -- says mayor campbell, "you oughta join the monkey alliance! why, with that giant noggin of yours, you could probably be a great asset -- probably even uh, make indian actress bipasha basu fall in love with me?"
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Post by mh on Jan 31, 2017 23:57:41 GMT -6
"possibly," replies professor awesome. "and who was that captivating creature that just took off in that hideous ford station wagon."
"oh, that was dakota," says the mayor, formulating an idea. "did you know that she's a twin? uuuu, she's as sweet as can be ... but the other one ... she's flyin' in on ... uh, friday!"
"really!" exclaims prof. awesome, momentarily forgetting the olive loaf. "two of them?"
"now if I can just trick kenny & buddy into cloning dakota by friday," the mayor mutters to himself. "omg, that bipasha basu. she's the snakes hips! i must have her. at any cost -- my latest stripper wife will be so pissed!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 1, 2017 21:05:20 GMT -6
As MH walks down the stairs from the storage space, Professor Awesome sneers up at him. "MH"
"Professor Awesome," MH sneers back.
"I suppose we should go ahead and get this over with," Professor Awesome says, before taking a bite of olive loaf sandwich. "Lets have a look at your Johnson."
"Uh.... I don't know what they told you when you came in, but this isn't that kind of party. It's a wake," MH says.
"The zombie, you idiot!" Professor Awesome snaps.
Ten minutes later, everyone is in Kenny and Buddy's lab where zombie Johnson is bound to a chair. After examening him, Professor Johnson says, "it's just as I suspected. This is the work of the dreaded Papa Juju, voodoo master supreme!"
"Papa Juju?" Babu asks.
"Don't you read Metahuman Monthly?" Professor Awesome says, rolling his eyes. There's a big article on him. He's a master of all things voodoo. And he hates insurance guys because they wouldn't pay up when he tried to torch his failing cajun restaurant to collect the insurance money."
"That still doesn't explain why Dave's corpse dissappeared," MH says.
"Dave is probably infected, too," Professor Awesome says.
"Something happened to Dave?" Bab asks.
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Post by mh on Feb 1, 2017 21:29:29 GMT -6
mh explains to babu about dave's demise.
"no! dave dead? it can't be!" babu exclaims, then he stares into space and sees a dave montage in his head, featuring all of dave's randy and borderline illegal exploits, accompanied by the james bond theme "nobody does it better" sung by the mc rib gurl!
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 2, 2017 19:50:34 GMT -6
"If we can get back to the subject at hand!" Professor Awesome says impatiently, "Kenneth, hand me that exacto knife.
"It's Kenny," Kenny grumbled as he hands him the exacto knife.
"Observe!" Professor Awesome says as he cuts a huge gash in Zombie Johnson's arm.
"Gnaaahhh!!" Johnson growls unhappily.
"Gaaahhh!" The Monkey Alliance and Mayor Bruce Campbell echoes.
Suddenly, the gash began to grow back together. "What the?" Babu says.
"This type of zombie has a healing factor making them nigh unstoppable," Professor Awesome says imperiously. "In this case, it may be a good thing. I have been working on an anti-zombie formula to aid the Awesome Adventure Team's fight against Doctor Deathray. It should work on Papa JuJu's soldiers, too."
"That means...." Doc Quantum starts.
"We can bring your friends back!" Professor Awesome says with a dramatic flourish.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 3, 2017 9:07:11 GMT -6
Meanwhile, Dave's animated corpse is sitting in an alleyway next to a wino. "Peoples, they just thinks o' me as the town drunk!" the wino rambles. "But... I gots stuff going on. I knows of all kinds o' opportunities. I could help you out."
"Gnnnnaaaa..." Dave growls.
"Yeah! I knew you'd be interested. "The reason I's sitting out here like that is cuz no a' my funds is liquid THey's all tied up in off sho' bank accounts and stuff!"
"Gnnnaaaaa!!!!"
"Oh, it ain't that bad. At least I's still making money even if I gots to drink this cheap sheee-yat. Here. Have another swig." The wino hands the bottle to zombie Dave who takes a swig.
"Weird. Since I been drinking with you, all my sores a' healed up," the wino notices. "Anyways, I'll have to hook you up with my investment guy. He sleeps behind the laundromat. What's yo name, anyways?"
"Gnnnne-e-e-e-e..."
"Nice to meet you ned," the wino says, extending his hand. "My name's Cletus!"
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Post by mh on Mar 4, 2017 12:20:32 GMT -6
meanwhile, horoush, of the insurance-guy alliance, who has been feverishly wandering the streets hoping to find the corpse of his friend dave, runs into ned 'needlenose' ryerson.
"hey needle-nose," says horoush vacantly, "how's business?"
"are you kidding?!" cries ned, "i'm getting hammered! there's a new guy who's been signing on dozens of accidental death policies in justice city! and you know nobody beats ol' ned in accidental death -- nobody! it's like i make people lose the will to live! they used to call me the grim reaper! yer late pal dave was the only one who ever came close -- that silver-tongued devil! but this guy -- they say he barely speaks, but he's putting out policy's like nobody's bidness! he's not even getting paid! he just leaves the cash & policies at yer office -- the bastard's moved ahead of me! help me out horoush! you gotta know who he is, right?"
"uggg," says dave to a guy he corners in an alley. then he holds out a pen and an accidental death policy.
"okay, i'll sign!" cries the man as he signs the papers and hands dave a wad of cash. "just don't kill me!"
dave takes the policy and says, "goo num ma ner mib nerehen."
("you've made a very wise decision.")
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Post by mh on Mar 4, 2017 20:59:42 GMT -6
"mh!" cries professor awesome, "would you care to go down the hershey highway with me?!"
"what?!" cries mh.
"kenneth's hilarious justice league scanner has noticed a zombie-esque heat signature there! let us not terry!"
moments later, the professor, mh, and kenny find "cletus", who tells them about his conversation with dave.
"he don't talk much!" says cletus, as they sit at the bar of the 'the bloated liver lounge', justice city's favored watering hole.
"i were discussing my stock portfolio wid him! -- hey, you guys are alright. how about another round?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 7, 2017 20:55:31 GMT -6
"I hooked 'im up with my investments guy!" Cletus said. "Ol' Earl will do 'im right."
Meanwhile, behind Justice City Cleaners, Earl wakes up in his refrigerator box to see a shadow cast over the entrance.
"Ni eah oo mae um inmesmens!' *I'm here to make some investments* Dave says.
Earl tucks his bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 into his dirty raincoat. "Are you willing to go high risk or conservative with your portfolio? *belch*" Earl asks.
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Post by mh on Mar 10, 2017 3:02:56 GMT -6
"mrrr raaa!!" exclaims dave.
"high risk!" exclaims earl. "that it -- go big or go home! cletus was right about you. we're gunna get along swell."
meanwhile, back at the bloater liver lounge ...
"quickly, to the awesome mobile!" says professor awesome.
"we'll never get there in time in your le car!" cries mh.
"it's been converted to biodiesel!" cries professor awesome, "and bio is," with a flourish of his cape, "the future!"
"do something kenny!" exclaims mh, "and after 7 seconds under the le car's hood,
kenny, mh, and prof. awesome are careening down main street at near impossible speeds.
"drat!" cries awesome, "kenneth! you may have voided my lifetime bio warranty!"
"it's kenny!" cries kenny.
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Post by mh on Mar 10, 2017 3:37:39 GMT -6
seconds later, an unseen figure blasts the speeding le car with a rocket launcher.
and back at dave's wake, buddy drops to the floor like a rag doll.
"hey! what's the matter buggy? bodine? -- uh, boddy?" asks skye .
"it's buddy!" cries babu. "this can only mean that something terrible has happened to kenny -- the dominant half of buddy's brain!"
"he's completely unresponsive," says doc quantum, lifting buddy and dropping onto a futon. "those guys are too close! the monkey alliance must be under attack!"
"i'm going!" says babu, "up, up, and away!" and he flies off.
"calm down girls," dakota says to the distraught interns. "mh has the survival instincts of a sewer rat -- he & kenny are probably fine. maybe kenny just bumped his head on a metal beam again. he does that a lot!"
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