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Post by mh on Feb 3, 2020 21:52:53 GMT -6
entering the cavern, it opens into a glowing luxurious wine cave.
(Wine caves are subterranean structures for the storage and the aging of wine. They are an integral component of the wine industry worldwide. The design and construction of wine caves represents a unique application of underground construction techniques.)
seated at an ornate onyx table are a distinguished gathering of bilderberg group & illuminati members. with mayor pete buttigieg at the head of the table.
"omg, 'pistol' pete buttigieg!" exclaims babu baboon. he pronounces buttigieg as booty-judge. "we're honored sir."
"that g-d! 'the monkey-alliance'!" cries buttigieg (booty-judge).
"i thought you might be some bernie bros! they constantly show up at events & hurl stuff at me! orange wedges! cumquats!
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Post by mh on Feb 3, 2020 22:12:42 GMT -6
"what do you riff raff want?" asks the imposing mrs. von godrockets, rising from her seat angrily. "we were about to open a $900 bottle of cabernet sauvignon!"
"900$ ... ? lady you got ripped off!" gasps mh. "i can get that sh-t at kroger for $2.99 a bottle! damn, i'll go & get you an entire frooggin' box of that sh-t right now -- and it's hard core! sweet-cakes, you'll get wasted! you'll get white girl wasted!"
 
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Post by mh on Feb 3, 2020 22:45:00 GMT -6
"my young 'red-suited' friend, you are not without charm," coos mrs. von godrockets, staring at mh seductively.
"i can vouch for them," exclaims horace pinkerton-smythe rising, "for although i am a proud member of the illuminati -- go 'world domination'! i am also a member of the monkey-alliance. i am ..... ascot lad!"
the monkeyhouse 1970s murder mystery weekend, starring ascot lad
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Post by mh on Feb 3, 2020 23:10:58 GMT -6
explaining heather's disappearance, babu asks, "mayor, do you known where these caves lead?"
"no kemosabe!" answers booty-judge, diago, you & your mrs. own this place, do you know about the caves?"
"yes," says diago. "they lead for miles, but are not endless. this wine cave was built by many ruthless spanish conquistadors."
hugging himself, pete booty-judge exclaims with a giggle, "they sound rough! with those metal helmets & all -- i mean really, could you die?!"
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Post by mh on Feb 11, 2020 0:28:07 GMT -6
"ascot lad," whispers babu, "what kind of freak show is this?"
"well captain my captain," whispers horace pinkerton-smythe, "it's just yer regular run of the mill, world domination by globalist billionaires thing. nothing to be concerned about at all."
"hey mayor pete, "asks doc quartum, "what kind of name is buttigieg anyway?"
"it's of dutch orgin! and you'll never beleive this!" exclaims 'mayor pete', excitedly," you see in olden days, a "buttigieg" was one who looked at peoples butts and rated them according! can you beleive it? it was apparently a very important service at the time. they were held in high esteem! wow. to be paid to look at people's fannies all day. and they called that the dark ages. i don't think so!"
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Post by mh on Feb 11, 2020 0:38:44 GMT -6
meanwhile, back at camp, 'old man jenkins' runs thru yelling, "the bear witch is coming! yer all gonna die!"
"the famous 'old man jenkins' of monkey rock!" says tony boloney. "i thought he was just a legend!"
"that was abysmal!" says the head of the acting troupe, rating the old man's delivery. "i hope that wasn't an audition!" |
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Post by mh on Feb 17, 2020 0:57:56 GMT -6
meanwhile back at the wine cave:
"what?" says kenny wandering in, "so, you guys come here to done get drunk & rate people's rear ends, and you didn't done invite kenny?" his voice quivering with hurt.
"oh no," mutters babu baboon, "kenny's two favorite things, getting drunk & butts. this is terrible."
"hey butt gig," says kenny mangling the mayor's name, "you like fannies? well look here! look at this one i took a pichur of at the mall, you'll done be overcome with lust! i gives it a eleven out of a possible ten!"
kenny pulls out his phone.
"uggg." says mayor pete. "kenny, you seem like a nice guy, but yer no booty judge!"
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Post by mh on Feb 25, 2020 2:27:04 GMT -6
old man jenkins falls thru a root hole, onto the human sacrifice-proof onyx eating table. shaking it off, he yells, "yer all going to die!"
"no you are!" exclaims babu.
"ghhhh!" cries old man jenkins, and suddenly 'the bear witch' rushes in.
"wait a minute," says babu, and he rushes over & pries the witch hat off the seemingly tame bear witch's head. the bear witch licks babu's hand & wanders off, out of the cave.
"someone glued that witch hat to the poor bear's head!" exclaims babu.
"okay you got me!" yells old man jenkins. "i needed to scare everyone off! so i could amass my fortune."
"i get it, you have a moonshine still!" says mayor pete buttigieg.
"no ... inhalants! stuff like canned whipped cream, lighter fluid, and pam cooking spray! i was gunna make myself the inhalant el chapo of monkey rock!" cries jenkings insanely.
"and i'd have gotten away with it too. if it hadn't been you bunch of elitist wine cave weirdos! and his honor, mayor 'pistol' pete buttigieig!"
putting his hand aside to whisper to babu, mayor pete whispers, "i think he's been eating too much of his own candy." |
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Post by mh on Jun 4, 2020 3:28:44 GMT -6
"pistol pête butt gig realizes the democratic primarys are over, right?" babu whispers to mrs. von godrockets.
"yes," replies mrs. von godrockets, "but i fear he is going thru a severe nervous breakdown! corona, protests and looting! it's all been too much for him. and we're all stuck in this wine cave until he calms down!
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Post by mh on Jul 9, 2020 0:29:52 GMT -6
a wine cave employee comes over and says, "mayor, phone for you!"
"omg," says mayor pete, hanging up. "something more important than the election has come up!"
he takes off his jacket, tie and coat and reveals this.
"it's a travesty of justice! my freind the tiger king must be freed!"
he runs out to a waiting helicopter.
"the shirt was obviously a photo silkscreen! why was joe biden there?!! and why was he sniffing joe exotic?!!" cries baboon.
"somebody pour me a chardonnay!"
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Post by mh on Nov 6, 2020 23:32:10 GMT -6
suddenly super-jesse flies in carrying gilda & dr .bum.
"gilda!" cries babu, never looking at her face.
 ![]()
babu baboon: and dr. bum!!!!
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Post by mh on Nov 6, 2020 23:49:50 GMT -6
"dr. bum?" queries gilda.
"yes," says the doctor, "gilda, you were only found alive because i am so important in the proctology community! now quickly super-jesse! fly me to police headquarters where they are having terrible bouts of ass itch!"
SJ shrugs, and they fly off.
isn't he great?!!" cries gilda.
as they fly toward justice city police HQ, dr. bum is having a beautiful summertime draem about gilda.
"what a bum sack! what a ghetto onion!" he squeals.
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Post by mh on Nov 6, 2020 23:58:16 GMT -6
"okay, that's settled," says babu. "now let's to the bottom of this heather being missing mystery, and if we have time, the cesar romero orange wedge thing! i'm pretty damn curious."
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