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Post by mh on Feb 23, 2018 22:43:17 GMT -6
the producer of sheamus o'brian's stage show, stilton berle, the grandson of the legendary milton bearle, and who has inherited milton's massive slong, shows up at the simms house.
"are you here o'brian?" he cries. "that leno kid sucks!"
notch Johnson runs up beside him panting, and yells, "hey buddy! if a big pale lady appears show her yer johnson! it's my only chance!"
"sure, why not?" says uncle stilty.
The pale lady appears and exclaims, "show me yer johnsons!"
notch & bearle both drop trowel.
"jeeze man," says notch, "you only had to show enough to let her see it. you didn't have to humiliate me!!!"
(** and for the first time in more than a decade, dick has been dropped on monkey alliance headquarters.)
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 14, 2018 21:27:23 GMT -6
"Sorry, pal. When I unzip, it's like when a crack appears in a dam. The floodgates are open and everything just starts pouring out," Berle says.
"Jeez. Talk about too much of a good thing," Notch says.
"Say, I know this is kind of a weird thing to ask, but could you help me wind this thing back up so I can put it away?" Stilton Berle asks.
"No way!" Notch says. "I ain't touching yer junk!"
Suddenly, the Boone County Axe Murderess reappears. "I think I can help help with that!" she cackles.
"Gyaaaaahhh!!!!" Notch and Stilton scream, turning to run in the opposite direction.
Notch takes the lead as Stilton keeps tripping over his massive tool. "Help!" Stilton screams as he tries to wind it around his hand and forearm like an extension cord. "You can't leave me like this!"
"Aw man," Notch sighs, looking over his shoulder. "What do I do?"
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Post by mh on Mar 15, 2018 23:30:08 GMT -6
"we need a friggin' luggage carrier!" exclaims notch as he stops to try and help the overly endowed stilton bearle. then the pale lady reappears and yells, "back off bitch!"
and knocks the boone county ax murderess cold with a massive slap. "quick long dong silver!" she cries, "you and beach boy here need to get to the safe room!"
meanwhile in the jerry rigged sims house safe room, the dorset county carpet muncher has found a way inside.
"ghaaaaa!!!! help me! yhe carpet muncher is trying to squeeze thru my french-cut hanes-her-way panties!" exclaims boobs mcghosty, running in circles.
"french cut? i'm on it!" cries stone.
just then kenny & buddy burst thru the hidden entrance, with a bag of specially made, ghost proof, chastity belts.
"you got my message! finally!" cries babu, and he grabs one, hikes boobs mcghosty's skirt up and secures it on her.
"noooooooooooo!!!" cries a ghostly wail.
"quick girls, everyone put one on!" says babu.
"hah! you girls are all going to look pretty silly in those things!" laughs stone.
"you're getting one too susan!" screams taffy.
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Post by mh on Dec 27, 2018 1:15:39 GMT -6
a week later, doc quantum, mh, lothar, and kenny are at the local cinemax to see "son of the beach: the motion pichur."
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Post by mh on Dec 27, 2018 1:38:29 GMT -6
"notch looks great!" says doc, as the preview airs. "they must have got him in the gym & botoxed his ass!"
"he's a real matinee idol again, thanks to defeating the dorset county carpet muncher," says mh. "i just seen a tabloid cover where a big-boobed woman was saying, "seeing notch johnson's dinger cured my vertigo!
"us and stilton berle done mostly got cut out of the video feed," says kenny, "so notch johnson done got most of the credit! i guess it's good that america didn't get stilton berle's massive slong dumped into their living rooms."
"i second that emotion," says mh.
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Post by mh on Dec 27, 2018 1:54:04 GMT -6
buddy, just entering the theater is talking to babu baboon on the phone.
"buddy, i'll be a little late -- i'm going to go and give lucy morgan my johnson!" says babu.
 
"but baboon -- it's done museum quality!" cries buddy, in anguish.
"i don't care!" says babu. "she loves it so much -- and really, for me the hunt is the thing. i'll find another johnson brothers basin. even a better one!"
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Post by mh on Dec 27, 2018 2:22:54 GMT -6
"good!" buddy can hear mrs. baboon say. "i insist! when we have friends over, all you do is talk about your johnson! we're well rid of the thing!"
seconds later, buddy plops down in the theater beside doc quantum and says, "babu is done gonna be late."
"how come?" asks doc.
"he says he's gonna done give lucy morgan his johnson!"
what?!!" cries doc quantum.
"mrs. baboon says she done insists," continues buddy.
doc grabs both sides of his head like it might explode, and mh, says calmly with a smile, "it's just like rod stewart said."
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