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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 1, 2014 20:20:37 GMT -6
Meanwhile, Amber has seperated from the tour group, having gotten lost on her way to the bathroom. After taking a few wrong turns, she finds herself outside. The door locks behind her and she spends a few moments turning the handle, banging on the door, and yelling for someone to let her back inside.
Finally, she gives up and starts walking with the hopes that she'll run into one of the others who has already slipped out. As she walks across the field, a field mouse suddenly scampers over foot. Amber lets out a shriek and starts running.
She ends up running into the field of crops covered by symmetrically lined up canvas bags. SHe trips over one and falls, her foot catching on the bag and pulling it off. Amber lets out another shriek as she sees the human head underneath. The eyes stare at her and the mouth opens and closes like a fish.
"I came back for another case of meat snack," a voice says from off to her side. Imagine my surprise to find you here." Amber turns and sees Farmer Vincent smiling at her.
"I... I got lost," Amber says.
"So I see," Farmer Vincent says. "No harm in that. But we can't have you disturbing our customers."
"C-customers?" Amber stammers, looking at the head sticking out of the ground.
"Motel Hello is also a spa," Farmer says, smiling down at her. "We specialize in some of the most expiramental forms of holistic treatment. These good folks are going through sensory deprivation therapy."
"Oh..." Amber says, not quite sure what that means. "Why's he moving his mouth like that?"
"Well, I'm afraid you've made that poor fellow go into shock... the way you done knocked his bag off like that." Farmer Vincent kneels down and puts the bag back in place. He stands up and offers Amber his hand to help her up. "I'd appreciate if you'd not mention what you saw here to anybody. Our methods are top secret. Don't want nobody trying to copy us."
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Post by mh on Jan 3, 2014 1:14:23 GMT -6
suddenly amber catches on.
"oh, okay!" she says. "you can count on me!"
"good girl, "says farmer vincent, giving her a fatherly pat on the head. "now you go on & find your friends. they'll be worried about you."
amber leaves thinking, 'what a great guy'.
meanwhile, as the others have split up, babu turns and sees ida coming toward him.
"babu!" she exclaims. "you naughty boy. you must have gotten lost. come with me, "she says grabbing him by the hand, and mummers lowly, "now i'm gonna show you how a real woman smokes meat!"
"uhhh, gee ida," begins babu, and suddenly the interns and the m.a. members all appear.
"we'd like to learn how to smoke meat!" says skye.
"oh shoot," says ida. "umm, it's getting late. i'd better get you girls and gentlemen bunked up for the night."
"we'll continue this later," she whispers lowly to babu.
"continue what?" cries sandee.
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Post by mh on Jan 7, 2014 1:03:59 GMT -6
"lucky this bed is king sized, "mh says to steve, "as they settle in. "the 'motel hello' barely has room for us all, and we gotta bunk up in pairs!"
"you're lucky, "says steve, "i'm a sound sleeper. in the adventure we call 'the justice monkeyhouse project', i had to endure sleeping in a tent beside taffy. you'd have hated that! she moans, clings onto you, and breathes heavy all nite. she also hogs the blankets! it was impossible to get any decent sleep. and she wears next to nothing ... mh? ... mh? ... what's that sound, are you crying?"
"no, i'm not crying!" exclaims mh, "i got the sniffles! let's just go to sleep."
moments later, mh is sound asleep, and dakota comes in whispering, "steve ... steve!"
"dakota?" says steve. "listen, if yer anything like taffy, you're not getting in here with us! what's wrong with your bed?"
"nothing! listen steve, "says dakota, "doc quantum's outside. he and i are gonna figure out what's going on in this place. and we need another pair of eyes, so c'mon, get dressed." seconds after steve & dakota leave, babu comes in. "guys, scrunch over. i'm the only one who's got a bed to myself here, and i may be waaaay off, but i got me a weird feeling. hey where's steve?" "probably went to the bathroom," mutters mh.
just as babu dozes off, skye suddenly jumps in bed beside him. "hey, what the ..." begins babu."
"listen, nothing personal babu," says skye, "but i'm exhausted, and i just can't sleep with that taffy. all nite she's been all over me! what a restless sleeper. all that nuzzling, clinging and moaning. hey, what that noise? is that mh? is he crying?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 14, 2014 19:32:55 GMT -6
Steve and Dakota tiptoe down the hallway, keeping a wary eye out for anyone who might see them. They stop as they see Ida, dressed in a sheer nighty, knocking on the door to Babu's room.
"Oh Babu..." she says sweetly. "Can I come in?" Rather than wait for an answer, she turns the knob and walks in.
"Where is that man?" they hear her say in exasperation. "he must be in the bathroom. I'll wait here and surprise him when he comes in."
The door shuts and Steve and Dakota quickly slip past. They tiptoe down the steps, through the kitchen, and then make their way outside.
"What took you so long?" Doc Quantum whispers.
"Ida was in the hallway. We had to wait for her to go," Dakota says.
"No matter. You're here now. Lets see what's up with this place," Doc says.
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Post by mh on Jan 14, 2014 23:32:06 GMT -6
they reach the largest barn, and suddenly someone wearing a pig-head leaps out of the shadows, and comes at doc quantum with a chainsaw
"ghaaa!" yells doc and blinks out of the way. the pig-man moves toward steve & dakota, and doc reappears behind him, slaping him across the back of the head, and leaping back.
"hey pig-boy, "doc says motioning, "i'm over here!"
he comes at doc again, and doc blinks out of the way again.
the chainsaw begins sputtering & stops. "somebody's run out of gas," says doc reappearing, and smashes him across the pig head with a right hook. the pig-man staggers, drops the chainsaw & runs.
"c'mon! we can't let him get away," doc says to steve & dakota, who're crouched behind a pile of lumber.
"omg, "says dakota, "a freaking chainsaw! who comes at someone with a freaking chainsaw? you were magnificent doc. you okay steve?"
steve, pale & shaken, just nods.
"he disappeared into that BBQ place," says doc, who, finding a can of gasoline, fills the chainsaw.
"what're you doing, "asks steve.
"i've seen too many horror movies to just leave this thing laying around," says doc, starting it & shutting it off. "this thing has a certain utilitarian charm."
they go across the street to 'porky's BBQ', and dakota takes out a paperclip from her small handbag and begins trying to pick the old timey lock. "yeah, I went thru a short delinquent stage," she says, " ... got it!"
"shoot," says doc, disappointedly. "how cool would it have looked if I sawed thru the door? that guy would've crapped in his overalls."
as they go in, steve looks behind him & whispers, "taffy! "what're you doing here?"
"i saw you guys from my window," she replies. "coming over here for a midnite snack! why didn't you wake me?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 15, 2014 17:12:26 GMT -6
Doc, Steve, and Dakota describe the pig masked guy to Taffy. "That's the Smalltown Saw-er!" Taffy says, wide-eyed. "Some crazy looking guy warned us about him today!"
Suddenly, the saw-er in question turns up again, bearing another chainsaw. "Aaaa! It's him!" Taffy screams.
Doc and the saw-er dodge about the room, swordfighting with chainsaws. Suddenly, Doc dissappears and then reappears behind the pig-masked maniac and slams him in the head with the motor base of the chainsaw. The saw-er drops to the floor, unconcious.
Doc rips the mask off of his head and Taffy lets out a gap. "That's Zeke! The same guy who warned us!"
"Look at that," Doc says, pointing to a shaved patch above the left side of his forehead that bore a stitched up scar. "It looks like someone performed brain surgery on Zeke."
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Post by mh on Jan 18, 2014 21:12:23 GMT -6
"what'll we do now, "asks doc.
"i saw the sheriff's office earlier, it's just over that way, "says dakota.
they take zeke there, but it's deserted. but finding some keys, doc locks him in a cell.
"hope this'll be alright, "says steve.
"oh, it'll be fine, "says a voice in another cell.
as they gasp, a man walks up to the bars. "i'm opey, the town drunk! i lock myself up all the time. when sheriff smith comes in i'll explain. good job catching 'the small-town saw-er'! zeke, you outta be ashamed of yerself! scarin' folks liek that." zeke just lays in his bunk.
"nothing else we can do tonite," says doc as they enter the house. "everybody try & get some sleep -- we'll figure this out tomorrow."
as they all take to their beds, seeing his bed is full, steve decides to sleep in babu's room. jumping in bed with ida, who is having one of her 'babu dreams', he finds himself almost immediately engulfed in lacey satin and flesh. finally he's able to wriggle himself free, and terrified, runs back to his & mh's room where he crawls under the bed, and immediately goes to sleep.
"was that steve?" mutters skye, and zonks back out.
turning on a lite, ida says, "it wasn't a dream this time! look at this nightgown, it's practically destroyed from our stolen moments of passion! but where'd he go? he must've gotten shy. but now that he's had a little ida, he'll be back for more."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 20, 2014 16:44:23 GMT -6
"What's Steve muttering about?" MH says.
I think he's having a nightmare," Babu says.
"Get off me! Get off me!" Steve cries in his sleep.
"I hope he doesn't do that all night," MH says. "Funny, Gill's his room mate and he never said anything about STeve having night terrors.
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Post by mh on Jan 20, 2014 23:01:22 GMT -6
the next morning, everyone is having breakfast in the motel hello's extremely large dining room, with omlets, waffles, oj, and coffee.
"i'm sorry, there's no meat, "says ida, "my brother vincent is scrounging some up! these are tough times for us small factories in the meat industry."
"he's probably arranging to illegally ship in some kangeroo," mh mutters to dakota & doc quantum.
ida, noticing no one is looking, comes up behind babu who is loading his waffles with butter, syrup, strawberries and whatever else on the waffle bar, and gooses him firmly on the rear end.
"kelly clarkson!!" yells babu, and jumps a foot in the air.
"forgive me babu, "croons ida with a big smile, "i got a nervous twitch in my arm. heh. heh. last night was wonderful."
"huh. yeah," says babu, not knowing what she's talking about.
ida come up to taffy who is loading up her third plate of waffles, and asks, "taffy, what kind of name is baboon? is that italian? is that why babu is so irresistibly hairy?"
"yeah," says taffy with a shrug, loading her plate. "i guess so."
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Post by mh on Jan 20, 2014 23:37:12 GMT -6
moments later, doc quantum manages to relay to babu the night's events.
"something strange is going on here, "says babu. "sadly, "he gasps," i'm the perfect candidate to avert ida's attention for a few hours while the rest of you solve this mystery. i'll invite her on a picnic or something."
then babu goes to mh & explains the situation.
"sweet fancy shelly hack!" cries mh.
"shhhh! calm down ... ouch." says babu.
"what's wrong?" asks mh.
"oh, it's that skye, "says babu. "that girl. she was throwing elbows all nite long."
mh, not remembering skye had bunked in with them, with a big smile whispers conspiratorially, "baboon, you dog you! you must'a snuck out last nite while i was asleep! i should'a seen this one coming! how long has this been going on? you know, once taffy and i quit ignoring what our hearts already know, we could all just move the whole operation to Greece! beautiful sunny Greece. just liek justice league: Europe! no alimony, great climate. the kids would love it there!"
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Post by mh on Jan 22, 2014 10:29:19 GMT -6
"mh, don't you remember?" begins babu, "skye crawled in with us last nite becase of taffy. if we have to stay over again -- and i sure don't plan on it, something similar would probably happen tonite. nobody wants to spend the nite with taffy!"
" ... what?!" cries mh.
later, a problem is solved when ida tells babu that she'll be busy tending the special crops in the "top secret" area most of the day.
"it just can't be helped," says ida. "how i wish you could be with me. but you're not quite ready. not yet, "she adds with a giggle.
as she disappears into foliage, she blows babu a kiss.
forcing a smile, until she's gone, babu tells the interns, doc, mh and steve, "amber, you go hang out with penolope and keep her busy. take the car and get her to show you around town or something. the rest of us will break off into groups and search this place from top to bottom."
"i should probably check the sheriff's office again," says doc. "it's possible i'll get something out of zeke."
amber wonders if she should tell babu abot the spa, then thinks, "no, it's not important."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 6, 2014 18:06:24 GMT -6
"You're welcome to talk to him," the sherriff says to Doc Quantum, "but I don't think you'll gett much out of him. He's hardly moved an inch since he's been brought in. Whoever's been carving on his noggin's done a real number on him."
The sherriff opens the cell door and lets Doc in. The sherriff walks off and Doc approched the bed where Zeke lay on his side, facing the wall. "Zeke?" he says, reaching his shoulder.
"No!" Zeke suddenly cries out in his sleep. "No! You leave those people alone!"
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Post by mh on Feb 25, 2014 18:03:15 GMT -6
then zeke screams & passes out.
"well, "says the sheriff, "you need to run along. I gotta do some uh ... sheriff stuff."
"for the first time doc notices that the sheriff's uniform is way to big, and the sheriff looks not much more than 20 years old.
mh enters & he has an omish guy with him.
"look who I found," says mh. "it's ... uh haimish! on old omish friend of mine!"
"hello to you english!" haimish begins, then gasping exclaims, "that guy's no sheriff! that's timmy clark! i sold him some car insurance last year when i was still sal, the insurance agent from next door. he drives like a jerk!"
(sal, with the gray jacket on the far right.)
MEET THE INSURANCE GUY ALLIANCE!
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 4, 2014 18:19:26 GMT -6
Timmy Clark breaks into a run and slips on the throw rug, nearly colliding with Dakota and Skye who are entering the sherriff's office. He shoves them aside to make a break for it.
"C'mon, Sal ... I mean Haimish. Let's get him!" MH shouts.
"Right behind you, English."
Doc looks at the disturbed throw rug and sees that it now reveals a trap door. "C'mon, girls. Lets see where this leads."
They make their way down the hidden staircase and Skye lets out a horrified gasp.
"I don't believe it," Doc says. Hidden beneath the Sherriff's office is a surgery room. There is still fresh blood on the surgery table.
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Post by mh on Mar 9, 2014 22:12:23 GMT -6
mh and haimish come back dragging 'sheriff' timmy clark.
"you hit him too hard sal --what was that?" says mh as he handcuffs the unconscious timmy clark to the old timey radiator in the sheriff's office.
"I used some of that amish karate on him!" said haimish.
"the amish have karate?" exclaims mh. "I thought they were non violent!"
"it's all a trick!" says haimish, "we'll get into that later. that's part of the reason i'm here!"
doc & the others come out of the hidden staircase.
"this is big stuff," says doc, grabbing the phone, "i think we should call in the authorities -- who's that FBI guy baboon deals with sometimes?"
"you mean nick angry?!" says mh. "you really wanna call in nick angry?"
"i think we're getting out of our depth here, "says doc. "we need fingerprinting, forensics, all that stuff."
"okay fine," says mh. "i got his number in my wallet."
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