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Post by mh on Mar 9, 2014 22:25:00 GMT -6
within 30 minutes a chopper lands near the barn, and out come nick angry and his CSI team.
melinda may, jemma simmons and two armed grunts in suits are with him.
"you too," angry tells the grunts, seal off the perimeter!"
"okay poindexter," jenna says to steve as she pulls out her investigation kit, "take me to this surgery room."
"yes mam!" says steve, overcome with excitement & lust, thinking he'd just met his perfect woman.
"where's babu baboon," angry asks mh.
"hard to say, we're kind of spread out," mh replies.
"well i've been trying to get something on these people for years," says nick angry, "but that farmer vincent's a slippery one."
the two grunts come back with a dozen people covered in dirt.
"sir!" exclaims one, "we folund these people buried up to their necks in dirt & their mouths duck-taped!"
"oh, the cat's outta the bag!" says amber walking up. "vince told me he had begun spa treatments -- sorry guys. he looked at me with them old country hound dog eyes of his and asked me not to tell."
"hah, an unlicensed spa!" exclaims angry. "the truth is starting to some out."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 11, 2014 19:38:50 GMT -6
So Farmer Vincent was running an unlicensed spa the whole time," Angry says, lighting a cigar. "We finally got him."
"What about the fake pigs?" Babu says.
"Well, obviously, the meat business is just a front for the spa," ANgry says.
"But what about the lucrative meat snack sales?" Doc asks.
"It helps fund the spa," Angry says, rolling his eyes.
"But you said the meat business was the front," Dakota says.
"Look, who's the federal agent here, lady?" Angry snaps. He turns to his men and says, "Load Farmer Vincent on the chopper! Maybe a few months in a posh white collar prison will make him think twice about running an unlicensed spa.""
As Angry's men take Farmer Vincent away, he calls out,"Don't worry fellas. No hard feelings. We'll keep sponsoring you. Ida can run things while I'm gone."
"I look forward to us working together," Ida coos to Babu.
"Hoo boy..." Babu says.
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Post by mh on Mar 11, 2014 20:48:25 GMT -6
as the helicopter takes off, penelope runs up & yells, "vincent! i'll wait for you!"
"about that honey," says ida, "I'm afraid you're fired. it not your fault! we just can't support a full time taster anymore. it's a pity. vincent said you were right at the point of moving up to the 'processing' part of the plant. tee hee."
penelope dissolves into tears, and runs over to the station wagon, getting inside.
"poor girl. i'll deliver her things personally," says ida. "oh, unless you want to stay & gather them up babu!"
"uhhh, no!" replies babu. "i have some important cases to deal with. but i hope to see you soon."
"oh, don't worry," says ida coyly.
babu recognizes Johnson, the 'insurance jerk' and his secretary who'd been missing for months. they're both covered in dirt, and acting quite confused.
 
"spa ... yeah that must be it, " says Johnson. "we look fantastic!"
after a moment the real sheriff, ida's brother comes staggering up.
"I dunno what happened, "he says. "I got hit in the head & tied up!"
"oh oh. a real sheriff, "haimish mutters to mh. "i'd better make tracks, english. i'll be in touch."
he starts to run and the sheriff yells, "hey wait, i know you! you're not really amish! there's an all points bulletin out for you!" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 12, 2014 12:20:46 GMT -6
Sal/Haimish quickly jumps into his horse drawn buggy and takes off. The sheriff tries to race after him, but it's no use.
"Gol dang it," the sheriff says. "Impersonating an Amish is a pretty serious crime in these parts. He should have let me take him in protective custody, though."
"Why's that?" MH asks.
"The Amish are very protective of their cheese formula. VERY protective. If he somehow stumbled onto that, they'll never stop chasing him."
"Sal did love him some cheese," the insurance jerk says.
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Post by mh on Mar 12, 2014 23:02:34 GMT -6
"wow, that strangely sounds like another exciting adventure, "says mh, sandwiching himself in the rear of peggy's volare' between penelope and taffy.
"amber is gonna drive my car back," says penelope. "i'm too upset."
"you'll be okay penny," says taffy. "mel's waterbed shed needs a mattress tester. you'd be perfect!"
"sure, why not." replies penelope.
"docs gonna ride with the other interns in penelope's car, "says steve, taking shotgun. "ah, that jemma simmons. what a woman. brains, beauty .... she's exactly what steve's been looking for!"
"everybody get settled," says babu, "i wanna go. ida's staring a hole thru me!"
"oh sh-t," says mh.
"what's wrong mh," asks babu.
"it's hamish, -- i mean sal, "mh replies. "he texted me. he's buggy driving & texting!"
"and he's on a police chase,"says babu. "the guy's got balls."
"it says," exclaims mh,
"two amish ladies were picking potatoes from the field when one says to the other...these two potatoes remind me of my husband's balls. the other replies, your husbands balls are that big ... no the woman replies, there that dirty.."
"oh crap, i can't believe they haven't killed that guy yet!" says babu. |
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