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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 4, 2024 10:06:49 GMT -6
MH quickly binds the prisoner's hands behind his back with twine after pulling him out of the hole. "What's your name?" he asks him.
"Humperdoo," the prisoner says stubbornly.
"Look, we know you guys can talk like us, so you might as well say something," Baabu says.
"Humperdoo," he repeats.
"Okay, Humperdoo," MH says shoving him forward. "March."
"The group wlks in silence for a while when they hear rustling coming from up in the trees. Suddenly, from several spots up in the trees, they hear a faint chorus of "humperdoo!"
"Humperdoo!!!" their prisoner howls loudly.
"Aw shit!" MH exclaims.
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Post by mh on Jul 4, 2024 22:21:47 GMT -6
this portion of the monkey alliance and the feral people!!! was brought to you by "sassy's sassiest boys".
i wish i could give you fiddy more thumbs up for that. also, i want to go to sassy city so bad.
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Post by mh on Jul 9, 2024 22:30:33 GMT -6
"our sea plane is descending ... look babu, i see it! sassy city!"
"mh, what the heck you talking about?!" asks babu.
"... unnn. i was having a summertime dream ..." sighs mh.
"dammit mh! we're being overtaken by humperdoos! and yes, i believe your beautiful summertime deam will come true! now take neil and jane, and turn these humperdoos into ...."
"don't say humper-donts!" exclaims gretchen.
"... humper donts!" cries babu.
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Post by mh on Jul 9, 2024 23:14:15 GMT -6
neilencio steps on something hard, and feeling in the underbrush, finds on old 1950's car antenna. swishing it around like a foil, he says, "this could work."
"ulp!" yells babu as jane walks past.
"babu, what have you done?!" asks gretchen as the three disappear into the trees. "they are completely unequipped! this is a problem!"
"no, our main problem is going to be where to bury all the dead humperdoos! "says babu gulping his beer. humperdoo, clutches his beard, his eyes widening with fear.
"listen, mh is a white ninja cloned from a 1940's millionaire, neil's a champion fencer with a car antenna, and jane is beer dispenser made out of a girder bending machine, who could probably kill a grizzly with one punch, who just goosed me on my ass!"
"what are you talking about?" asks gretchen.
"oh, nothing." says babu. "pay no attention. this 'kenny's supreme lager' is really kicking my butt!"
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Post by Babu_Baboon on Jul 14, 2024 21:38:28 GMT -6
Pinecones begin to rain from the trees. But unlike the earlier pinecones they encountered, these explode when they strike the ground.
"What in the almighty hell?" Baabu exclaims.
"They've got some freaky hoodoo pinecone technology!" MH yells over the sounds of explosions.
Babu throws his can in the air, striking a pinecone. It explodes in midair. Everyone throws up their arms for protection from fallout.
"I think it's time to make like Babies and head out!" Babu says.
The group breaks into a run, dodging exploding pinecones. Humperdoo is being led by a lead rope held by Gretchen. He whimpers, being on the receiving end of his kinsmen's pinecone arsenal.
Neilencio swats one away with his car antenna and it explodes in the air. "How do you think they make them blow up?"
"It we survive this, we can ask them," Babu says.
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Post by mh on Jul 15, 2024 21:44:22 GMT -6
neil pulls up a video on his phone and shows babu. "omg look, pine cones are basically tree grown hand grenades!"
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Post by mh on Jul 15, 2024 22:06:52 GMT -6
"they must have stuck fuses inside them so they'll go off," says babu.
suddenly humperdoo lands at babu's feet with a thud. "humperdoo." he moans.
"mh," what's going on?" yells babu.
"me and 'girder jane' are in the thick of battle!" cries mh.
a pinecone flies toward mh and he bats it away with a stick. exploding it.
"watch this," mh whispers to jane, forgetting she has a IQ less than a houseplant for a second. raising his arms he says, "krum! i know that warefare pleases you!"
"that's scary .." mutters one humperdoo to another.
jane catches a pine cone and it explodes in her hand. dropping it, she turns and locks eyes with the other hunkerdoo, and runs impossibly fast toward him.
"that's scarier!" says the other hunkerdoo.
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Post by mh on Jul 15, 2024 22:31:00 GMT -6
"jane! where are you? are you okay?" yells gretchen entering the woods, brandishing her bear spray.
jane emerges from the brush, holding two young college aged guys aloft, and hurls them to the ground.
"i am jane ..." she begins. "j-girl! cries gretchen, hugging her. "i was so worried about you!"
mh comes out, carrying a girl who looks like a dude.
"this seems to be all of them," says mh.
"put her down," says babu.
"he can carry me if he wants to!" yells the girl.
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Post by mh on Jul 15, 2024 22:53:32 GMT -6
growing tired, mh sits down on a log.
gretchen whispers to babu, "i think that's a beautiful and brave trans woman."
"i'm not really with them," says the woman. "i'm a beautiful and brave trans woman! my name is tammy! i'm doing my doctoral thesis on cults and cult behavior. i infiltrated the hunkerdoo cult, but it turns out they are in total disarray. almost all of their members being swallowed up by a mysterious cult in the dark north woods. this asshole," she says motioning to hunkerdoo, "is conrad swaine! a conman and swindler."
"conrad swaine!" cries neilencio. "the warlock of lincoln, nebraska? he held a small town on the outskirts of Lincoln in terror, and was about to receive thousands in blackmailed gold bonds, and marry a comely widow."
"yes!" cries conrad swaine, the former hunkerdoo. "dammit. she WAS comely! and i'd have gotten away with it too. if it had not been for some sissy-mary in a william tell outfit!"
"i was that sissy-mary!" cries neilencio, "and that was not a william tell outfit!"
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Post by mh on Oct 9, 2024 23:48:38 GMT -6
suddenly some frightened looking rangers come out of the woods, led by ranger rick.
"hello all!" says ranger rick. "we've been searching for swaine there. he's cheated dozen's of college students out of their tuition money with his fake cult! okay, you kids and .. er ... trannies ... can come with us!"
as the rangers round everyone up, ranger rick approaches jane and says, "jane ... i can't get you out of my mind! and as far your proposal of inserting my ..."
"get away from her!" yells gretchen, stepping between jane and ranger rick. "leave jane alone! she's already confused enough because of this horse's ass over here!" she says, motioning to babu baboon.
"what?!!" exclaims babu.
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