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Post by Babu Baboon on May 5, 2014 15:01:41 GMT -6
Drivtaan is silently fuming as he stares at the Blur. "What?" says the Blur, breaking the silence.
"I thought you old super heroes were supposed to slow down with age," Drivtaan says.
"Yeah? Well, it was probably some young super hero who said that," the Blur replies. "And who are you calling old? Most of you Monkey Alliance guys are married with kids."
"So?" Drivtaan says.
"Serieously," the Blur says. "DC would have rebooted your asses by now."
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Post by mh on May 5, 2014 15:45:10 GMT -6
super-jesse takes off, and begins flying around the earth over & over.
"drivaan," says sandy, "the blur may have lost a couple of milliseconds, but his speedster transformation was at the molecular level. yours comparatively, was like slipping on a banana peel."
"gosh," exclaims drivaan, feeling a bit deflated.
"okay, here goes," says the blur. and suddenly all the 'without pay trainees' get up & give the blur a hug. dismayed, drivaan just stares.
"damn, i still got it, "mutters the blur, reddening a little. then he takes off. then rests, then buys a candy bar for extra energy, then takes off again.
 
"what was that?" exclaims drivaan. "you girls didn't even tell super-jesse bye!"
sandy bursts into tears. "super-jesse is invulnerable! but not the blur," she exclaims. "human speedsters always die in the act of saving their planets. it's been that way since time began, throughout the known universe. every calculation we made substantiates it. the blur will not survive."
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 15, 2014 21:33:55 GMT -6
"I wish there were something I could do," Drivtaan says sadly.
"But there ith," Mayor Sues exclaims. "You've got to forth feed all those creepy kidth peanut butter thandwicheth!"
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Post by mh on May 17, 2014 20:02:09 GMT -6
drivaan leaves and returns in the monkey-mobile with kenny and buddy, who he's found on a bear run, because they were getting the DTs.
"why does you interns done look so 'strange & crazy about;*'?" asks Kenny.
"the without pay trainees just shrug.
20 minutes later, Kenny and buddy have developed a peanut butter projectile device prototype, using a decaying old 1920's fire-truck out in the bushes behind the mayor's office, currently used as a smoking lounge, and in the evenings, as a lounge for possums
"ahhhh!" cries kenny as they drive toward the bizarre kids, brandy behind the wheel. "it's another damn possum! they're done everywhere!"
"calm down handsome," says brandy (the male level of attractiveness being much lower on her earth), "we're right on top of them."
"hehhhy youuu littlth rasscklees!!! hearh!! havfffe thuuum p-eenuppbutherr! yeerrhnher khiytths!!!!" screams mayor alan sues, manning the 'peanut butter cannon' that Kenny & buddy and 'the simian consortium without-pay trainees' had moments before filled with 'peter pan creamy, crunchy and low-sodium, whatever they could find after breaking into pyongyang's convenience store. yelling so excitedly that he's 90% unintelligible. historians however, believe he said, "hey you little rascals! here! have some peanut butter! yer kidths!!!!"
them he begins blasting them head to toe -- and into their mouths open in surprise, with delicious peter pan peanut butter.
*years back, after posting the 'sittin' on ther toilet' image on a measage board, jesse said, "i know it's strange and crazy about; ...."
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 18, 2014 15:14:32 GMT -6
Mayor Sues, Drivtaan, Kenny, Buddy, and the Not-For-Pay Trainees continue to blast the creepy kids with peanut butter until they reach the last one. The last kid tries to create a rift back to the other Earth to escape. The peanut butter blasting machine drives through the rift in pursuit of the kid.
"He'th going to thity hall!" Mayor Sues screeches.
They quickly park the machine, don special peanut butter blasting packs with blasting guns, and race up the steps of City Hall. "We can't let him ethcape!" Sues exclaims.
Brandy looks at a device she's created to detect the creepy kids. "He's this way. And there are others!"
They throw open two oak doors that lead to a large room. In one corner are Babu, Doc, MH, members of the Simian Consortium, mayor Bruce Campbell, and a General. At the other end are DR. Brain and several cowering scientists. In the center of the room are several creepy kids joined by the one they had been chasing.
"BLATH-T THEMM!" Mayor Sues screams.
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Post by mh on May 28, 2014 17:48:09 GMT -6
the air is suddenly filled with the scent of peanut butter, and gobs of it fly into the kid's mouths.
in seconds they become normal, blonde, creepy, super-smart kids.
"hey, you got any wonder bread?" asks one tyke.
"in the thecond (2nd) drawer of my desk! right below the brittany spears thickers (stickers)!" cries sues.
"mayor, "says mayor bruce cambell, shaking his hand, "you've saved the day! and -- yow. (looking at the without pay trainees) more 'monkey alliance interns'! dammit! where're you finding these chicks? granted, they're not as hot as the previous five, but by justice city standards ..."
'lithen mayor," begins sues, but mayor bruce campbell interrupts.
"i gotta warn you," he whispers conspiratorially, "you got problems here! i've never been hit on by so many guys since i was in bangkok! (one of the interns winks at mayor bruce campbell) -- ugg. yer probably too busy to notice -- but this office is a regular sausage fest! look, why not come back with me and be my deputy mayor? i could use a good right hand, (another intern giggles) -- hey cut it out!" snarls campbell, "and yer obviously a regular red-blooded male like myself. whadoya say?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 7, 2014 9:34:01 GMT -6
Super Jesse and the Blur continued to race across the earth at speeds unlike anything humanity has experienced before. As they ran, the vibrational states of both earths began to be affected.
"Weeeee!" Super Jesse exclaimed. Since he was moving so fast, everything was a blur and it appeared as colors racing past him.
The Blur wasn't having as much fun. "I don....feel so good. Feels like I'm being torn apart!"
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Post by mh on Jun 7, 2014 15:45:06 GMT -6
right before something like this began to happen:
the monkey-mobile pulls up beside the blur and babu grabs him & pulls him inside.
gasping, the blur says, "what's ... *pant pant* going on?"
"at the last minute," says babu, "we realized that the monkey mobile is as fast as you. it has 68 gears! we couldn't just let you burn up .."
"burn up?!" exclaims the blur, in shock, "i thought I just having a hot flash! like my wife 'iris blur' does sometimes."
"although you are part of the monkey alliance's 'dark past' (babu looks down & shudders), we had to try & save you. the monkey-mobile is performing the same function you were, but this way we don't have to bury a skeleton in a 'blur' suit. and lucky for you, there is one 'monkey alliance' member with reflexes fast enough to drive at this speed."
"hah! like a boss!" exclaims drivaan.
"but wait, "says babu, "it seems like the earth is normalizing a bit on it's own. but why?"
the monkey-mobile radio begins to crackle, and a voice blurts excitedly, "weeth got peenth buther into thoth krathy kidths!! you canth truhts them now, they're peenuth bhutter eatheters!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 14, 2014 10:32:01 GMT -6
The new Deputy-Mayor, Sues, hangs up his phone and says, "Ooo, I jutht love my new offithe! We need to get thome more eye candy in here, though. It'th one big tune fetht out there.
He picks up the phone and dials, "Hello? Juthtithe Thity Thtaffing?"
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Post by mh on Jun 20, 2014 21:11:24 GMT -6
justice city staffing sent in some candidates almost immediately, one of which was brick, a clerk on their hero-paloosa superhero cruise
monkey-alliance1.freeforums.net/thread/247/dr-quantums-bowlarama-horrors?page=5
"oh no!" exclaims the clerk. "not these guys again!"
"you, " motioning to mh, "are you gonna thay 'the deputy mayor, the deputy mayor, he's a dirty little nipper?!"
"i am a drirty lil' nipper!" cries the deputy mayor. "brick, you an' em eihth kith and make up. i like your moxy and your tight abs! ... you're hiredth!"
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