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Post by mh on Mar 17, 2014 20:05:31 GMT -6
baboon girl takes a sandwich & begins eating, and sues runs over excitedly, kisses her on the forehead and yells, "thee! you can trhust k-thids! they're peeeeaaanut butter eatthers!"
"he's weird," says baboon girl rubbing her forehead with her hand and making a disgusted face, "but he makes a great peanut butter sandwich! wow dad, i really tried but I couldn't stop myself from saying that."
"of courth you couldn't! yer a k-thid!" exclaims sues.
"there's a method to his madness," says drivann, who unexpectedly shows up at babu's left. "did you know that an early sign of certain diseases is that you cannot smell peanut butter? and there has been some evidence that it repels bad spirits."
"drivaan!" exclaims babu. "i'm so glad yer not comatose anymore. that slamai monster -- my g-d, i think we could've taken down a t-rex easier."
"sweet fancy cecil demille, "says mh, "look around! this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. look it's joan crawford! before she was scary!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 22, 2014 8:42:59 GMT -6
Sues gets a gleam in his eyes and runs off. "Yoo h-thoo! Mithter Erol Flynn! Can I hath your autograth?"
"Dang. He could at least have left the plate of sandwhiches," MH says.
"Keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual," babu says.
"You mean more unusual than a bunch of old timey celebrities having risen from the dead?" Drivtaan says.
Babu turns and sees what looks like a black wraith flittering around the corner of the room. "One of these things is not like the other," babu says.
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Post by mh on Mar 27, 2014 23:56:03 GMT -6
"greta, what is that thing?" asks babu.
"yer guess is as good as mine bud," says greta. "but it shows up occasionally -- and it don't like me none!"
the thing dabs down toward greta, who ducks, then disappears into the wall.
"see!" cries greta.
"well, we've got ourselves quite a mystery going on, "says doctor quantum. "my only choice is to enter the spirit world!"
he grabs a bottle of scotch, drains half of it, and passes out under the piano.
"can he actually enter the spirit world that way?" asks mh.
"don't be screwy!" says greta. "but the big lug'll be outta the way for a while. and he kinda gives me the creeps. maybe it's the beard -- he's like a 'fancy dan' abe lincoln in that thing!"
"doc had the right idea. if we only had someone on the inside," says babu.
"hi fellas!" they hear a voice from behind them.
"trixie! from meaty mcgees!" exclaims babu. "omg trixie, you're dead?"
"no I ain't croaked! not yet!" says trixie. "but i tend to gulp down a lot of high-end cough syrup before bedtime -- you know, meaty's can be kind of stressful. sometimes my spirit leaves my body, and i head over here. they got lots of booze & good eats! and I don't gain no weight!"
"trixie, we're so glad yer not a stiff, "says mh.
"maybe you'll prove it!" says trixie coyly. "maybe somethin' on one of you guys will get stiff later. heh, heh."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 2, 2014 19:26:46 GMT -6
The Monkey Alliance members repress a shudder. "Well *cough* it's good to hear you're okay."
"So, you think you could find that thing if it appears again?" Babu asks.
"Oh, I might be able to track it down," Trixie says.
"How?" Greta says. "I've been here for years and I don't even know where it goes."
"That's because you're haunting this place," Doc says, staggering uneasily to his feet. "Trixie is having an out of body experience. So she's not bound to the house. She could try and track it."
"You don't know where it goes, though. If she's not careful, she could cross over to the other side," Greta says.
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Post by mh on Apr 3, 2014 22:08:25 GMT -6
"pleeze blondie," says trixie, "i party like paris hilton! well, if paris lived in a trailer court. my spirit went all the way to calcutta once & i met some hot indian dudes! you guys are lucky it's my day off or my alarm would be going off in a couple hours. i'm high maintenance! i don't just jump outta bed lookin' like this."
"well, we better get started trixie, "says babu.
"first i got a couple of conditions." says trixie.
"huh," says doctor quatum, weaving around. "what conditions?"
"the monkey alliance comes to my party this weekend!" trixie exclaims. "i told all my friends i knew you guys and they been waitin' for you to show up at one of my shindigs! blinky alice will be there, fat wanda, not quite as fat wanda, crazy louise, ..." and she names many other odd sounding females.
"okay fine!" exclaims babu.
"oh, and you ALL have to do body shots offa me!"
drivaan limps up and starts to yell, "no! hell no!" but babu clamps a hand over his mouth.
"we'd love to trixie, "replies babu, masking his horror.
"okay, let's get this par-tay started!" yells trixie.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 8, 2014 19:36:24 GMT -6
Doc Quantum hands Trixie a walkie-talkie. "Squeeze this button to talk," he tells her.
"If she's in spirit form, how's she taking the walkie-talkie?" MH whispers to Babu.
"I dunno. Better to just not think about it," Babu whispers back.
they all wait patiently for the black wraith to appear again in the same corner. "There it is, Trixie! Go after it!"
"Alrighty, then. Here goes nothing!" Trixie says, racing after it. The waith dissappears and then Trixie dissappears, going to wherever the wraith has dissappeared to.
The Monkey Alliance crowds around the walkie talkie waiting to hear something. Suddenly, there is a horrible screech coming from the walkie-talkie.
"Trixie!" Doc Quantum exclaims. "Trixie! Are you okay?!!"
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Post by mh on Apr 8, 2014 20:37:41 GMT -6
"help!" trixie's voice coming thru the walky. "i'm the attic! hey, cut it out sucker!" then there's a sound like Trixie is hitting something with her waitress clipboard/notepad.
"this way!" yells greta.
as they get to the attic door, babu tears it open, and greta says, "yer on yer own now fellas!"
"you know more that you're telling," doctor quantum tells greta.
"not 'zackly, "says greta, "but i got an idea, and i don't like it."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 9, 2014 8:59:54 GMT -6
As they open the door, they see the ghost of Jonas Bumhause chasing Trixie and giggling like a loon. "Come on, beautiful, and give me some sugar, baby!" he giggles. "That Mabel was a cold fish but you look like you could show a guy a good time!"
"Get away from me, you crazy old coot!" Trixie yells.
"Now I've seen everything," Babu says.
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Post by mh on Apr 9, 2014 19:36:49 GMT -6
"jonas bumhause!" exclaims doc quantum.
"oops!" says jonas, "looks I got caught with my hand in the ol' cookie jar!"
"hey, you ain't had yer hand in nothin'!" exclaims trixie.
"not yet!" giggles bumhause, and he begins chasing trixie again.
trixie runs down the hall & locks herself in the powder room.
"drat!" exclaims bumhause. "my early 20th century manners won't let me pursue her into the can! but you can't stay in there forever cutie!" he giggles.
"bumhouse," says babu, "do you wanna explain what's going on here?"
"well for one thing," says bumhause, "as you may have noticed, i've got a real weakness for cheap women!"
"hey!" exclaims trixie thru the door.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 20, 2014 18:46:35 GMT -6
"I mean it in the most respectful sense," Bumhause says.
"Call me cheap again and I'll kick you in your ghostly junk!" Trixie says.
"Greta says your wife offed you," MH says.
"Could be," Bumhause says. "My memory's a little fuzzy around the time of my death. But I can't believe my sweetikins would do such a thing to me."
"Trixie makes a wretching sound from the other side of the door.
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Post by mh on Apr 25, 2014 0:10:57 GMT -6
"keep it up dumpling, "says bumhause. "that's a real turn on!"
"that's it!" says trixie. "i'm done! you guys doing body shots offa me isn't enough!"
"i'll do body shots off of you!" yells bumhause, "whatever that means!"
"mh!" yells, trixie, "i'm gonna wake up unless you promise to play post office with crazy louise with the lazy eye!"
"he promises!" exclaim babu. "we can't get to the bottom of this without your help!"
"huh?" says mh, horrified.
suddenly, mabel, the latest mrs. bumhause, comes into the bathroom thru a secret compartment.
"you should'a stayed outa this girly -- i didn't put up with that old letch for years just to let you ruin everything!" she exclaims, firing at trixie with a blaster. "yer about to get deposited into an old graveyard in san juan!"
"gahhhh!" yells trixie.
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Post by mh on May 3, 2014 22:41:38 GMT -6
"quick, cameras!" cries doctor quantum, and when the director yells action, he bursts thru the bathroom door.
"doctor!" cries mrs. bumhause, "this ain't what it looks like!"
"why'd you want to give it to trixie for?"
"yeah! i'd rather one of you guys gave it to trixie!" cries trixie with a laugh.
"okay," sighs doctor quantum, "we're cutting that."
"the old letch was always doing that when he was alive, now even after he's dead!" exclaime mabel. "he has a thing about cheap waitresses with bad bodies!"
"hey!" cries trixie, "I got a 'curves' membership!"
"is that why you killed him?" exclaims doctor quantum.
"yes!" cries mabel, who slips on an empty dom perignon bottle, and falls backwards out the window.
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 7, 2014 15:23:48 GMT -6
They all look out the window and see the splayed form of Mabel laying on the ground. Suddenly, Mabel's spirit rises out of her body and floats upwards. "Noooo!" she cries. "Not like this!"
"Don't worry, honey!" Jonas Bumhause exclaims. "This means you and I can be together forever now!"
"That would be great if I hadn't just married you for your money," Mabel moans.
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Post by mh on May 10, 2014 19:03:18 GMT -6
"so you killed him?" asks doctor quantum.
"of course i killed him!" cries the spirit of mrs. bumhause. "the brakes on his wheel chair didn't grease themselves! i hated him -- i was better off at hooters! once i got all his dough, i was gonna buy hooters! The one on route 6 anyways. It was a beautiful dream."
"grab her!" yells greta, and her & several other ghost including fatty Arbuckle grab masbel's spirit and force it back into her body.
"what the heck?!" yells the newly alive mabel, jumping up. "oh oh. was that on film?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 15, 2014 17:11:19 GMT -6
"You bet it was on film!" Doc Quantum says.
"Oh poo," Mabel says.
"This is great!" the director says, jumping up and down with excitement. "We're talking Emmy here! Maybe we ought to save this for sweeps week."
"Now that all this murder mystery stuff is solved, can we get back to partying?" Fatty Arbuckle says.
"You know it, Buster!" Greta says.
"Get out of my house!" Jonas Bumhause snaps.
"It was my house first, you big palooka!" Greta snaps back.
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