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Post by mh on Nov 22, 2014 23:29:25 GMT -6
"ur hullo," super-jesse says to the massive metal security-bots.
"these guys is done auditioning for the part of the new mr. furley type wacky neighbor. done show 'em mh," says super-jesse.
"oh no you di'ent!" exclaims mh.
"gah hah ha ha ha ha!" cry the security bots. "that's classic."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 28, 2015 16:04:36 GMT -6
"Nice job, Super-Jesse!" Babu says as the security bots continue on their way. "Auditioning is the perfect cover for why we're here!"
"Even better if one of us gets a part!" MH says.
"Uh-oh," Doc says. "Easier said than done. Look who just walked in with a script."
"Now we done don't stand a chance!" Kenny exclaims.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 10, 2015 17:18:56 GMT -6
Just when they think it can't get any worse, they hear a voice chuckle, "Alright Mr. Demille. I'm ready for my close-up!"
"Paul Lynde?" MH says, throwing his script down. "But he's dead!"
"Real world Paul Lynde is," Babu says. "This is TV Land Paul Lynde."
"Okay, this is tough competition, admittedly. But it can't get any worse," Doc says.
"Hey everybody, Mr. Fun is here!" a voice suddenly calls out.
"Oh damn!" MH says.
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Post by mh on Jun 13, 2015 22:47:36 GMT -6
the show's producers come in exclaiming, "well, we've decided there are going to be three wacky neighbors! it's a cul-de-sac!"
mh sidles over to paul lynde and mutters, "why're you still alive?"
"cardio, "whispers lynde, "lotsa cardio."
"looks like it'll be between you and me," jim jay bullock says to mh. "don knotts and paul lynde are shoe-ins."
"let's get wacky!" cries bullock.
"mh, "says babu, "if we're going to come out of this, you have to out wacky this guy!"
"out wacky jim j bullock?" exclaims mh. "you're kidding, right? do you know what you're asking? sure. then i'll fly to the sun on wings made out of wax!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 14, 2015 13:16:37 GMT -6
Thinking quickly, Super Jesse swiftly kicks MH in the crotch. When the director comes over and sees MH laying on his side, holding his nuts and gasping like a fish, he exclaims, "Omigod! This is comedy gold! You're hired!"
"Durn, I wish someone woulda kicked me in the nads," Jim J Bullock says.
"No problem," Kenny says, rearing back.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 6, 2015 16:54:47 GMT -6
"Okay, who's ready to do the screen test," the director says. "Give me a moment," MH coughs. "I'm still waiting for my left nut to pop back out of my body."
"Geez," the director says. "You're already hired."
"What about me?" Jim J Bullock wines from the floor where he lays after being kicked in the nards by Kenny.
"Sorry. Nobody does being kicked in the nuts like this guy," the director says. "How'd he know the theme of the show anyway?" he muses.
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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2016 0:20:52 GMT -6
then a movie producer in a $20,000 suit from milan, walks by. and seeing a mop grabs it and begins mopping away.
"this floor ain't done clean," he mutters.
"that's done buddy!" cries kenny. "he's done got his mustache shaved and got an $800.00 haircut! but it's done buddy!"
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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2016 0:28:40 GMT -6
seeing kenny, buddy shakes off his stupor. "why am i done dressed liek don draper?" he asks.
seeing super-jesse is momentarily confused, mh smashes an amulet around his neck with a small kryptonite nugget in it, grabs the nugget, and sticks it in super-jesse's pants.
"ghaaaa!" screams super-jesse, and passes out.
"let's get them in the egg!" cries babu.
"not so fast!" yells a voice. and it's joe lando.
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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2016 0:47:41 GMT -6
"let them go!" says ted mcginty. "my show's bulletproof. we don't need 'ther weasel'~! we'll stick those kids from the pieface commercial in there -- we'll be fine!"
"not gonna happen," says lando, and they inexplicably take out light sabers & start fighting.
"we were both up for 'star wars: the series'!" explains mcginty, dodging light sabre swings, "and we both lost out to chandler from friends! yeah, we're still carryin' stolen light sabers around -- this is a bad neighborhood! i had to cut a car thief's arm off the other day! he was after my prius! you guys need to run for it. i'm gonna teach pretty boy here some manners!"
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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2016 1:05:12 GMT -6
as they clash light sabres, lando yells, "you can't keep this up forever old man!"
"my personal trainer and my dietician says different!" yells mcginley.
and as the monkey alliance reach the egg, babu carrying the unconscious super-jesse, cybil shepard, wielding a huge louis vuitton bag, blocks them.
"hold it!" she yells. "and i'm not alone! that fink mcginley has turned on the horsemen, but you've forgotten pestilence."
and from the shadows lindsey lohan steps out.
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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2016 1:27:53 GMT -6
then an object flies toward them and lands in lindsey lohan's outstretched hands. and it's joe lando's head.
she screams and faints.
"no fair!" cries lando's head, as several yards away ted mcginley laughs uproariously.
"hilarious!" cries mcginley. "gaaahahaha! i was getting my butt kicked! luckily a quick thinking jennifer love hewitt lifted her cocktail dress that she was wearing for the next scene, & showed him her cooch! while he stood there with his mouth open i whacked off his melon! who's the man?"
"honestly," says love adjusting her underpants, "if we didn't have a hit show i wouldn't have bothered!"
"gaaahahaha!" cries mcginley. "the crew looked happy! i've never seen so many cell phones hit 'record' in my whole life!"
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Post by mh on Jan 29, 2016 15:53:41 GMT -6
"unbelievable. poor joe lando. he was the most powerful of us," rasps cybil shepard. "taken out by a hack has-been actor and a cooch that's seen better days."
"hey!" cry jennifer love hewett and ted mcginley together.
as cybil pulls out a lazer rifle and points it at babu, super-jesse wakes up momentarily and hits her with a blast of heat vision, and she falls unconscious.
"c'mon nimnals! cries 'mork from ork', his head popping out of the egg, "we must go to venus! the nonstop rainfall will make us impossible to track! and there is a giant recieving antenna we need to destroy! without it, tv-land is virtually powerless. you too mcginley and love hewitt! you are now enemies of the state. the tv-land bots will arrive soon! but with joe lando gone their power will not last. still, we must hurry!"
later they emerge from the egg into a torrential rainfall.
"wait, isn't venus suppose to be a molten hell-hole?"
"gahk!" laughs mork. "this is the dry season. you earthlings!"
"luckily jennifer love hewett had all these ' know what you did last summer' rain slickers with her." says babu.
"that'll be $7500 bucks apiece!" yells jennifer. "they're part of movie history! i knew i'd cash in on these things one day. freddy prinze jr. laughed at me. idiot!"
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Post by mh on Mar 15, 2016 22:22:55 GMT -6
"listen ted -- you can't do this!" yells jennifer love hewett. "maybe the time continuum will be repaired, but our hit series will be destroyed!"
"that's okay," says ted mcginty, "i wuz leaving 'leave it to weasel' anyways. i've been chosen as the new doctor who! I didn't want to tell anybody righty away. but after this season of 'leave it to weasel' wraps up, i'm gone!"
"bastard!" cries love.
"ha!" cries mcginty. "for my costume i chose a tux and a swimming cap! if anyone makes 'em forget about tom baker, it'll be me!"
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Post by mh on Mar 15, 2016 22:29:43 GMT -6
"wait!" cries babu. "any series where mcginley takes over a roll dies! ted mcginley is going to do what the daleks never could. he's going to destroy doctor who!"
"oh calm down, it'll be fine." says mcginley, "does the doctor have a wacky neighbor? if i'm gonna do my best stuff i'm gonna need some motivation here."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 16, 2016 9:43:33 GMT -6
"Dammit! I knew someone at BBC was out to destroy Doctor WHo!" Babu says.
"You can't be Doctor Who," Doc Quantum says. "Doctor Who has always been British."
"Oh that," McGinley says. "Don't worry about that. I've hired the perfect voice coach to help me develop my English accent: Mary Poppins era Dick Van Dyke!"
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