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Post by mh on Jun 19, 2015 23:58:16 GMT -6
"um ...yeah, " says babu frowning, as they re-enter the mall. "i guess that creature ran from the boxed wine not realizing this cheap-ass unblessed merlot we're carrying couldn't hurt him."
"cheap? ... i paid $11.99 a box for this stuff!" rasps cindy blart mall cop in hushed tones.
they turn a corner, and suddenly run into a dozen zombies.
"ahhh!" cries cindy, running in a panic, and then reaching a door that won't open, she quickly squirts some wine into a paper cup, and throws it on the zombies.
noticing they're not burning and losing their fear, the zombies surround her.
mh, unholstering his 1916 mauser, begins firing head shots and manages to take out two.
"help!" cries cindy.
"fine .." sighs babu, taking an ol' timey 1970's fire ax from the wall, "c'mon mh -- might as well get out your bundi dagger. yikes, she's really going to want to do me now."
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Post by mh on Jun 20, 2015 0:12:59 GMT -6
meanwhile, a fat zombie woman "bumps" doc quantum. he jumps back up, but she "bumps" him repeatedly, and finally he lies exhausted as the zombies begin coming out of their disco stupor.
"i'm finished ..." gasps doc quantum. ... "i just hope a security camera got all my moves. i was shakin' it!"
suddenly kenny grabs him up and shoves doc thru a hidden doorway. then leaps in himself & locks it.
"what's this?!!" exclaims doc.
"why, i's done a janitor's closet!" replies kenny.
"i pushed on this panel and it opened up -- i thought i had done smelled some cleaning solutions around here!"
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Post by mh on Jun 20, 2015 0:23:09 GMT -6
as the zombies begin pounding the entrance, kenny finds some metal rods and a drill and quickly re-enforces the door.
"will that hold them?" asks doc.
"i recon, "replies kenny. "still we're done trapped -- but look at this place! it's done ... xanadu! liek done a beautiful summertime dream! if we gots to die, this is a perfect tomb. if only poor buddy was here. he'll done be lost without me." |
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Post by mh on Jun 24, 2015 21:52:07 GMT -6
a door opens from the wall, and someone suddenly grabs cindy blart, mall cop. a voice inside the dark chasm yells, "guys! c'mon!" so babu, mh, and horace pinkerton smythe quickly follow.
suddenly they find themselves in a warehouse store which offers waterbeds at discount prices.
"hey guys!" cries mel, of mel's waterbed shed. "welocome to 'mel's waterbed shed, one mo' time!' what a pushy crowd! honestly, i'm not opening up until these people learn some manners! they ate all my complementary 'mel-dogs'! and the 'mel-dog' vendor has sort of ... vanished. so, how've you been? can i put you guys into one of these things? believe me, yer lower back will thank you. as will the mrs -- wink wink nudge nudge! believe me, it'll pay for itself."
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Post by mh on Jun 24, 2015 22:02:43 GMT -6
before anyone can respond, cindy says, "why ... yes! me and babu are both in the market for one," and looking at babu with her eyes glazed over, "give us some privacy so we can try a couple out!"
"hey wait ..." begins baboon.
"enough said!" exclaims mel, ushering mh, moonbeam and horace to the checkout area, "guys, i stocked some of that pricy blessed cabernet sauvignon -- you know, for the fancy types! i run a classy place here."
"sir, lead me to it!" cries horace -- gulping down the cheap merlot from his glass and making a face. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 25, 2015 11:26:20 GMT -6
"Take me, monkey man!" Cindy Blart says, throwing herself on one of the water beds.
"One, I'm married," Babu says. "Two, we don't have time for this. Three, we're missing the big picture."
"What's the big picture," Cindy groans.
"How did Mel make it here from the Disco without anyone noticing or him getting eaten by zombies?"
"I dunno," Cindy says.
"There must be a hole honeycomb of hidden passageways like the one he used to bring us here," Babu says.
Babu starts feeling along the walls until he pushes a hidden panel that reveals a hidden hallway. "Guys!" Babu calls out to the group at the front.
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Post by mh on Jun 27, 2015 0:12:20 GMT -6
"well sure," says mel. "there are hidden passages all over this mall! before they converted this into a mall this was 'area 52'."
"wait, "begins babu," area 52?"
"yeah," replies mel. "a secret underground facility where dark forbidden alien technology is supposedly hidden! didn't you see all the u.f.o. weirdos hanging around outside?"
"i thought those were parking lot attendants!" exclaims mh.
"but didn't you see the ones in the masks yelling, "roswell! roswell!" asks mel.
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Post by mh on Aug 8, 2017 9:36:55 GMT -6
suddenly doc quantum & kenny appear before them and they look like this.
"you can let go now kenny!" yells doc.
"kenny used some old spray bottle parts and cleaning fluid to create a 'babu detector'! and i transported us here -- I can't beleive that worked! i was sure we'd transport into 5 feet of cement & die horribly."
"yer done a good hugger doc, "says kenny, "but you don't know squat about done abuilding babu detectors."
"jeeze!" says cindy blart, glaring at doc & kenny, "can't a girl and a super-powered human/baboon hybrid get a little privacy?"
"that's done a gurl?" mutters kenny.
"quick kenny," cries babu, "no time to explain! we need you to bless all this boxed wine!"
kenny says, "pal, i done got this!" and without skipping a beat kenny rubs blue/green glow paint, that he apparently carries around with him at all times, all over his face, and then situates a discarded dust cloth on his head like a turban, & yells, "meka leka hi, meka hiney ho!"
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Post by mh on Feb 26, 2018 13:11:52 GMT -6
noticing cindy blart is carrying a jem and the holygrams backpack, mh says, "cindy, did you hork that from woolworths?"
"i horked more than that!" exclaims cindy, and she begins pulling out generic woolworths super-soakers.
"cindy yer full of surprises, "says babu, taking one and filling it with blessed wine.
"you'd better believe it big boy, "exclaims cindy, and she pulls a box of condoms out of the bag and shakes it at him.
"kelly clarkson!" exclaims babu.
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Post by mh on Feb 26, 2018 13:35:45 GMT -6
stalking out into the mall brandishing faux super-soakers, babu, doc quartum, mh, kenny, cindy blart mall cop, and pinkerton-sythe, moments before made an honorary monkey alliance member and dubbed, ascot lad, begin firing into the horde of zombies, who immediately explode.
babu notices cindy blart has put down her super-soaker, and is scribbling on a pad.
"jezus, cindy," he exclaims, "what are you doing?"
"the hummus hideaway forgot to take out their garbage ... again! this is the third time. they're getting a written warning!"
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Post by mh on Feb 27, 2018 1:22:14 GMT -6
as the last zombies are dispatched, suddenly the smoke creature rears up and charges.
"fire!" cries babu. "hit it dead center with your wine streams -- make believe he's a big urinal!"
"he is a big urinal!" yells mh angrily.
the thing shrieks and erupts into a terrible explosion.
"is everyone okay?" asks babu, slapping away singed monkey hair off his arms.
"damn!" says doc quantum, "we just took out the food court!"
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Post by mh on Feb 28, 2018 2:00:46 GMT -6
later, kenny had fashioned a denny terrio regenerator, and denny terrio jumped from cardboard box that they used as an exit. a bunch of wealthy old east justice cougars scream & surround him.
"dance fever, "he says, "you saved my life ken-ee! dance fevor, here i should not be! dance fevor, dance fevor, it ain't easy bein' me! dance fevor, i was supposed to be in friggin' portugal 3 days ago!" and he runs out and jumps into a taxi.
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Post by mh on Feb 28, 2018 2:19:39 GMT -6
"don't cry kenny, "says babu, "we got other problems. ascot lad, i'm sorry so many of your wealthy friends got turned to mush. it must have been, as we suspected, an indian burial ground."
"of course it was!" exclaims horace pinkerton-smythe/ascot lad.
"mah mah set this up so you'd rid the grounds of spirits! but don't worry! none of our wealthy friends were cursed. we had them extensively blessed! the zombies were all passersby and day laborers."
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Post by mh on Feb 28, 2018 2:26:54 GMT -6
"omg!" cries babu. " i can't believe you, ascot lad! -- could be part of such a scheme!"
"i had to!" cries smythe, "it was for mah mah! don't kill me!"
then babu notices cindy blart. who waves sadly then boob flashes him.
i have an idea!" cries babu.
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Post by mh on Feb 28, 2018 2:44:44 GMT -6
at babu's prompting mh, doc quantum shove ascot lad into an old 1970's chewbacca suit.
"unhand me!" cries ascot lad.
"quit squirming! as a redshirt, you must take one for the federation!" says babu. now go into cindy blatt's quarters, and roger her roundly! that's an order! give it to her nasty!"
"and i'll remain a monkey alliance member?" asks ascot lad.
"it's under condersideration," replies babu.
"so he's staying in the monkey alliance?" qasks doc as ascot lad walks off.
"not a prayer, "replies babu.
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