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Post by mh on Feb 15, 2017 17:18:47 GMT -6
nev and max barge into the monkey alliance headquarters, eating a mel's ham, battered fish, and fries on a stick.
"you've been found out!" exclaims max.
before babu can react mh says, "okay! you got me!"
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Post by mh on Feb 15, 2017 17:32:00 GMT -6
"i've been catfishing!" says mh. "carrying on an online relationship with a lovely young woman. a librarian by day and stripper by night! my fake profile was phil, an online ufo enthusiast! .... trapped! in my own web of lies!"
"mh ... wait. she's a librarian by day stripper by night, who falls for a crazy ufo believer?" asks babu, perplexed.
"that's right!" says mh, "she's the best of both worlds. a lady on the street, and a freak in the bed!" |
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Post by mh on Feb 15, 2017 17:54:25 GMT -6
"but i only know her by her stage name, "says mh. "tits mcgee!"
"well mh," says nev, we've tracked down the victim of your catfishing, and she's right outside."
suddenly a woman bursts in and yells, "mh! of the stupid monkey-alliance! sorry babu, i don't mean you. you jerk! i thought i was in love! now i know why phil was so fixated on boobs -- "
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Post by mh on Feb 15, 2017 18:13:16 GMT -6
"wait, "says babu, "i remember phil! we were monitoring his fb for alien transmissions. mh wasn't catfishing, he was on assignment."
"yeah," says mh, "then she started messaged me lots of dirty stuff! and sending pichurs. and it just kept coming! she sold poor phil/mh the dream."
"you big red cloned dildo!" she screams.
"hey, that's kind of rough," says nev. "you lied too!"
"ghaaaa! you're all the same!" the fraudulent tits mcgee exclaims. "... sorry babu, i didn't mean you." then she storms out.
seconds later babu's facebook makes a "got a message" tone and he goes to check.
"what're you doing?" asks nev.
"blocking jùnhóng ting-wei," says babu. "tits mcgee has changed her profile to a taiwanese call girl." |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 15, 2017 23:40:03 GMT -6
"I think we might be onto the crest of a bigger problem?" Babu says.
"What?!" Nev and Max ask in unison. "If this many people in Justice City are being catfished at once, the effects to the moral of the citizens could be devestating."
Suddenly, Mayor Bruce Campbell bursts in and exclaims jubilantly. "Babu! Great news!"
"Mayor Campbell? How'd you find me?" Babu exclaims.
"Oh, I had a chip put in your head years ago when you and your team got your contract with the city. Now don't change the subject. I'm in love!
"Again?... I mean, great. Who with?" Babu says.
"Indian actress bipasha basu!" Mayor Bruce Campbell says. "She heard I had a thing for her and e-mailed me to let me know she feels the same way! She has all my stuff on blu ray. Even The Adventures of Brisco County Jr!"
"Oh man," Nev and Max say. "It just gets worse."
"Now you see what I mean," Babu says. "This is a bigger crisis than your normal catfish dilemma.
Suddenly, Ernie appears. "I might be able to help. My boss has a secret weapon he was going to use if Karen Cheung was fake. But since she's real, we can use it to save Justice City."
Just then, Ms. Swan appears in the doorway. "Yoo hoo! When I get to meet my romeo. Hubba hubba. I going to make him happy guy, I telling you!"
"Heh... she cleans up... alright....," Nev says.
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Post by mh on Feb 16, 2017 16:05:03 GMT -6
"mayor, you have to end it now!" says nev.
"darn!" says mayor bruce campbell. "bipasha isn't real?"
"well of course not," replies nev, "the real bipasha is the earth's biggest film star!"
"you need to break it off," says max. "don't give her the power."
moments later, a sad mayor Campbell posts on fb, "baby, we're thru!"
a snapchat video opens up with the real 'bipasha basu' and says, "brisco county, you broke my heart!"
and in a rage she rips open her dress. "this is what you would have got!"
the mayor wanders out to his limo, crawls in and starts to scream.
"i guess they aren't all fake," says nev. "oops." |
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Post by mh on Feb 17, 2017 2:40:55 GMT -6
"ernie, what's this about a secret weapon?" asks babu.
"the chief says it can alter the very fabric of reality itself, "says ernie, "it can merge several different personas into just one. the one of his choosing."
"yikes!" exclaims babu, "i thought that thing was destroyed!"
"no it can't actually be destroyed," says roller girl, who came in minutes ago, but in the chaos, went unnoticed.
"roller gurl!" cries babu, "this can't be! didn't you merge with desk-boy?"
"no," says roller-gurl, "the device isn't 100%. my personality escaped -- i'm a sport's injury holistic healer, and co-owner of justice city's largest roller disco club!"
"yeth! without her roller disco might've died! what a catastrophe!" exclaims big gay al.
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Post by mh on Feb 17, 2017 3:18:25 GMT -6
"bless you roller gurl!" says doc quantum. "i guess we can all agree that without roller disco life would be almost unbearable."
 
 
everyone just stares at him.
"hey!" cries ms. swan, "shut mouth weirdos! where my hot man at?"
"karen is under a lot of strain guys," says nev, "we'll edit this from the tape." |
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Post by mh on Feb 17, 2017 14:19:06 GMT -6
"if i'm going to finally meet karen cheung, I'm going to need the perfect pair of bike shorts!" says '53 yr old male' in his huge walk-in 'bike shorts' closet.
"yes sir, "says his 2nd personal assistant freeda.
"not too revealing, as she is a delicate asian flower, but which still accentuate my ass! she has to get a good look at these gluts!"
"these!" cries '53 yr old male', grabbing a pair. "worn by the legendary and steroid-free felice gimondi in his last tour-de-france victory! they've never been washed! do you suppose some of the italian stallion's mojo might still be in there?"
"will they fit sir?" asks freeda.
"hmmm," muses '53 yr old male', "yes, i've been skipping deserts like mad, but will it be enough? cover your eyes freeda!"
freeda covers her eyes, but then peeks as '53 yr old male' slips them on.
"they fit like a glove!" he exclaims. "thank you felice gimondi!" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 19, 2017 0:43:13 GMT -6
Meanwhile, Nev and Maz are startled as another figure enters the room! "Omigod! Is Superman in the Monkey Alliance now?"
"Easy mistake, dude," the figure says. "All the chicks at the office tell me I look like Christopher Reeve. But no, I'm Super Jimmy. Roller Gurl's husband."
"Super Jimmy!" Babu exclaims. "He was another Desk-boy fake ID! THe device must be even more faulty than Roller Girl said!"
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Post by mh on Feb 19, 2017 14:10:36 GMT -6
"christopher reeve?" says mh, "i look more like christopher reeve than you do! you look like a young skeet ulrich!"
"shuddup, shuddup, shuddup!" yells superjimmy.
"yeah, he's right." murmurs rollergirl, with a sad nod.
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Post by mh on Feb 19, 2017 20:46:30 GMT -6
"skeet ulrich?!" cries super-jimmy. "mh, you did not just drop the u-bomb on me!"
"how is this even possible?" asks max.
"when yer dealing with super-beings like these guys, "amber tells nev & max, "things tend to get weird. us girls just learned to roll with it."
"seasons 1 thru 3 were much easier," says nev wistfully, " when every catfish turned out to be a fat gurl with self esteem issues."
"high everybody!" says grin willard. "then glaring at rollergirl, "i never would have showed up if i knew this BITCH was gunna be here!"
"oh no, not grin willard," says super-jesse, "anybody but grin willard."
" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 25, 2017 19:56:13 GMT -6
Suddenly, a large figure crashes through the wall and slams into Super Jimmy, sending them both crashing through the wall on the other side of the room sending them flying to the street below.
"Super Jimmy!" Roller Girl cries.
"What in the hell was that?" Grin Willard exclaims.
"AAAA!" Nev and Max exclaim, holding each other in fright.
"I was afraid of that," Babu baboon says. "THat was one of my old IDs, Supreme. He and Super Jimmy used to fight all the time on the old long lost Superman movie board. We've got to stop them before their brawl destroys Justice City like it did the board."
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Post by mh on Mar 22, 2017 21:37:10 GMT -6
as the battle ensues, nev and max run away, the monkey alliance interns following closely behind. they stop at the banks of heavily polluted 'lake justice'.
"what have you gotten us into?!" cries max.
"supreme?!! this is total monkey alliance pre-history!" says dakota. "we haven't archived any of this stuff -- our great grand-daughters will probably be 'monkey-alliance interns' but they time we get this far back!"
"but what about the battle?" asks taffy.
"don't worry," says nev, "these catfish spats always have a way of working themselves out." then reaching into the murky waters of 'lake justice', he screams,"i can't beleive it! stand behind me max -- girls! this will protect us!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 28, 2017 7:11:21 GMT -6
"Supreme! I can't even belive it!" Super Jesse says. "He an' Super Jimmy done destroyed the Superman board. I loved that place!" In a flash, he joins the fight and the three of them are chucking cars at each other."
"Down on the street below, Mayor Bruce Campbell is huddled in the back of his limousine in a panic. He pulls out his cell phone and quickly dials.
"yello?" Babu says, answering.
"Bab! I know this is your fault somehow!" Mayor Bruce Campbell says. "You do something or I'll have the whole Monkey Alliance in orange vests scraping gum off the sidewalks for the next year!"
"Okay! Easy! Easy!" Babu says. "You need to call your military contacts. We're going to need kryptonite and lots of it."
"That'll work on Super Jesse and this Super Jimmy guy, but what about Supreme?"
"Look closely at his screwed up face and tiny feet. That's Liefield Supreme," Babu says. "He was such a Superman rip-off that Kryptonite would probably work on him, too."
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