the monkey alliance and the catfish controversy!!

on a windswept march day, nev and max from the mtv series 'catfish' are headed for justice city in their rental car.

"it's unmistakable!" says nev. "justice city" is the home of the first 'catfish'! it's 100% certain! in the mid 1990's, when the closest thing to facebook was your granny's party-line telephone, a rash of 'catfishings' erupted in this town! on probably an asico, or beseen message board, it appears."

"huh?" says max. "asico and beseen? are we talking about the 1990's or the 1890's?"

"and we're getting a constant feed from someone ..." says nev, glancing at his phone, "look! these message board posts are professionally transcribed -- you can't fake this stuff. they're notarized with dates and 47 digits message board security codes! faking these would be more difficult that cracking the security code of vladimir putin's secret atomic escape sub!"

"damn!" cries max.     

"this isn't exactly the waldorf astoria." says max.

"it'll be fine." says nev. "we have internet access -- we'll sleep in shifts. whoever has been messaging us knows were here and will reach out eventually. and we'll break the biggest catfish mystery since, was ja’tammy a lady or not'?" 

"okay, our catfish board is up & running," says nev. "another thing -- i'm getting, there was an old comics forum called cbr that may have had some involvement."

"what's cbr stand for?" asks max.

"no one seems to remember," answers nev. "i'm guessing it was similar to "stuart's comics blog & webcast, but certainly not as popular or influential."

meanwhile, super-jesse, who has been leaking information to the catfish crew, is taking a break and watching "stuart's comics dance party on justice city public access.

"i love an episode where stuart is so funny, and acts liek klanger!" he exclaims.

"I can't believe it," says nev, still on his laptop, "i found '38 year old male's' original insidetheweb message board!"

"holy ja'tammy!" says max. "can we trace some of the posts?"

"here's one," says nev. "the poster is wanda wang. a milfy 42 yr old korean lady looking for love."

"she enjoys, walks on the beach, sunsets, and skittles -- wait, there a link to ... what?"

"joe hallen's house of skittles?!" exclaims max, reading the screen. "and wanda likes skittles? i don't think wanda wang is a real lady at all -- a classic catfish! hey -- wait! what up with these honeymoon videos? that's perverse!" 

"oh, hang on a second," says babu getting on his old timey intercom. "peggy? my personal secretary who has been with me for years? would you find skye, and send her into my office?"

seconds later, babu croaks, "skye, what the hell is the deal with these damn billboards?!!", holding up a glossy.

"damn!" cries mh.

"babu," says skye, "i keep applying for a monkey-alliance super-heroine opening, as rake-girl -- but you just wont take me seriously! so i took matters into my own hands. i bought time on some billboards. let the people of justice city decide!" 

"well, you've certainly caused a lot of traffic accidents, "says babu. "you've made quite the commotion. the men in this town are generally used to seeing women in house coats & granny dresses! do you realize during the last baywatch marathon several heart attacks were reported? plus: there is already a rake-gurl!"

"what?!!" cries skye.

 in the late 70's the radish crop in louisville kentucky came in early, and chaos ensued. forcing a young girl to maintain order with a rake -- and the weird figure of rake-gurl was born." babu holds up a picture.

"ghaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" screams skye & mh.

"ernie!" says 53 year old male," i need to visit karen -- right now!"

"but sir, you're so close to the real karen cheung," says ernie, looking tense.

"i need to say goodbye!" says 53 year old male.

moments they later they enter 53 year old male's perfect replica of a busy chinese restaurant.

"it smells like egg fu young in here!" says ernie.

"there you are my pet!" says 53 y.o. male.

"oh no," sighs ernie.