the monkey alliance & the justice city league of gadgeteers!

later, as the monkey alliance grab some much needed shuteye, kenny & buddy have enlisted the klinger-bot to help guard the old monkey-house. 

"them clowns done scare me, "says kenny.

"they're just some weird-lookin' confused jerks underneath, "says buddy, carrying babu's prized 'sock fulla pennies' from the monkey alliance arsenal. "i hope i don't done get clown makeup on this thing. baboon will done be mad at me."

suddenly kenny spots a few tired-looking juggalos behind a tree. Kenny hollers with fright, and yells, "klanger-bot! there's them clowns! they've done come to steal yer crazy joakes!"

the klinger-bot 5000 screeches with mechanical horror, and shoots out a blast from it's outstretched arms, splitting the tree in half.

"gaaaah!!" scream the jugallos in terror, and they run away.

vintner-snell, watching from a secluded area thru binoculars gasps, "magnificent! i must have that wondrous device!"   

"i've brought in some 'muscle' for this purpose," says snell. "and also to help deal with the unclean harlequins. 'steampunk's' old enemies from the late 80's, early 90's, the dexy boys!"

the other steam punks gasp.

"not the dexy boys!" exclaims another, "the 'pseudo-'english poverty-punk' group who base themselves on 'dexy's midnight runners'? those people are out of control!"

"but they are at least punks,"says vinter-snell. "their group is at a low ebb, and need the influx of cash we can provide! they use fiddles as weapons, which are not cheap. we are under assault! it is a time for changing loyalties. let the harlequins feel our wrath!" 

across town, kotton candy is leaving his grandma's basement after enjoying a big bowl of fruit loops and a 40, the preferred juggalo breakfast.

several guys in overalls, sporting 3-day beards, and bandanas are waiting outside.

"'ello, sonny jim, "says one, in a thick cockney accent, and clocks him across the head with a fiddle. 

"ghaaa!" cries 'kotton candy' as he drops to the ground, "grandma!" then he throws up fruit loops.    

"they did play me a nice little diddy with their fiddles, "says kotton kandy, holding an ice pack on his head.

later, in his basement apartment kotton kandy has called together his most loyal troops.

"we can stop them punks, "says kandy, "we got the numbers!" 

"we had the numbers, "says korn dog, ""they been hittin' us all over town. 75% of our membership showered and got jobs! them 'dexy boys' don't play!"

"tell me about it, "says kotton kandy, rubbing his head.

suddenly, 'drawers underpants', yells, "look!" and out the window they see a guy in front of an old car holding an old timey boom box over his head like john cusack in 'say anything'. and a dozen young guys and girls dressed in 'poverty punk' clothes, get out of the car and close in on the place carrying fiddles. 

and the music begins, " .... poor old johnny rayyyy ..."

"ghaaa! it's the dexy boys!!" screams kotton kandy. "quickly, we must escape!"

an older guy walks in as babu hangs up the phone and says, "i been waitin' for this day. i hear you got problems with rival gangs."

"rival gangs?" says babu, "but the monkey alliance isn't a gang."

"oh, i beg to differ, "says the older guy. "my name is johnny boy! in the fifties, the 'anthropoidal fraternization' were getting on in years, and guys like that fancy dan 'the blue horse' had frozen themselves, so they hired us, 'the monkey lords' as extra muscle."

"the monkey lords?" asks babu. "so you were in a gang?"  

"was i in a gang?!!" exclaims johnny boy (stolen from flight of the concords), "before the monkey lords, i was in the snake eyes, the duckies, the cuckoos, the vampires, the ballroom dancers, the hobo lords, the little enchanters, the rockers, the gentlemen jims, the tsars, the stars, the mighty midgets from queens  ...."

babu: So you've been in a lot of gangs, huh?

johnny boy: they're ALL gangs, big daddy!!

smiling gleefully, snell says:

"klinger was sitting on the command deck on my dirigible, when a fine gentleman of my crew arose from the crew quarters, holding a jar of money.

puzzled, "excuse me," klinger said. "why do you carry such a large sum of money?"

the crew member quickly answered, "why, its is simply winnings that you may earn if you take my bet."

"bet?" questioned klinger.

"yes!" he replies. "you must first run over, and knock the helmsman off the side of our dirigible. secondly, our dog 'leviathan' downstairs has a rotten tooth that needs to be removed. Lastly, an old dowager is downstairs in the crew quarters, and has not known the company of a man in many years. show her some affection beneath her sheets, and you shall have this jar of money. The bet requires that you pay me fifty dinars."

as the crewmen look on, klinger removes 50 dinars from his fine old 18th century purse, and puts it into the jar.

 he then proceeduths to run up to our helmsman, and kicked him savagely! As our helmsman fell off the side of the ship, he quickly ran down to the crew quarters. soon after, they could hear 'leviathan' scratching, spitting, and fighting. then all fell silent.

a few short minutes later, klinger arose from the crew deck, scratched, and his clothing torn, and quickly asked, "where is the old lady with the rotten tooth?!"

snell and his two colleagues laugh uproariously, while kenny and the klinger-bot stare at them.