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Post by mh on Feb 27, 2014 20:30:41 GMT -6
the monkey alliance & the justice city league of gadgeteers!
a startling steam-powered, retro-futuristic monkeyhouse adventure
starring the entire monkeyhouse universe
on a gloomy morning babu enters the old monkey alliance HQ, temporarily in use again because the 'mall of justice' was closing for three weeks while they install a 'whataburger'.
entering the foyer, babu finds his personal secretary peggy, who has been with him with years, practically foaming at the mouth.
"they're back!" she exclaims. "my g-d they creep me out! I shouldn't have even opened the door! they're in the waiting room!"
"who peggy ..." begins babu, still a little sleepy, " ... oh no."
"ah, sergeant babu blinkhorn baboon!" exclaims 'wing commander felix vinter-snell', "salutations!"
"i asked you not to call me that!" says babu.
"but I must!" says vinter-snell, "you like we are air pirates! inventors of low conscience! gentlemen of leisure who shun the perils of this modern age! isn't that correct my fellows?" babu hears yells of agreement & looks over.
"oh no," babu says again.
"they brought dogs & kids this time!" says mh, walking in with doc quantum, and a big bag of dounts.
"ah! (generate name -- instructions below) and (generate name)!!" vinter-snell exclaims.
"ah! don't call us that!" says mh.
"(generate name -- mh) i so love your suit & equipment!" says snell. "if only you'd make a few changes, it would be perfection! here, put on these goggles."
"if he does, will you leave?" asks doc quantum.
WCFV-S nods in agreement, so mh says, "fine!" and puts them on.
"magnificent!" exclaims vinter-snell.
"so you'll go now? "asks doc.
"ha!" exclaims vinter-snell, "you should know by now that wing commander felix vinter-snell is not bound by his word to non gadgeteers! he is a trickster!"
* CLICK LINK!!!
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Post by mh on Feb 27, 2014 21:37:03 GMT -6
"snell ... er ... vinter-snell, "says babu, exasperated, "we're pretty busy. as you certainly heard, super-jesse had to deflect that comet that was headed for the justice city hockey arena ..."
"go fighting snow-shoe hares!" yells mh, proud of the local team.
"and now he's lost somewhere near ... uranus."
the steampunk people, denying all knowledge of the planets past the 19th century, just stare.
"you're having a naughty joke with me sergeant!" exclaims vinter-snell, and the steampunks all burst into laughter.
"no, he really ... "begins babu.
"Biela's Comet split into two pieces in February of 1846," says vinter-snell. "what a tragedy! we all adore comets!"
he holds a weird long scope to his eye, perring upward, and the others follow suit.
"but my dear sergeant babu blinkhorn, as wonderful as our visit has been, finally to business! i come again to beg you to allow us to use this perfectly wondrous 19th century domicile as HQ for the 'justice city league of gadgeteers'! and to make us a sub-group of the monkey alliance! we'll join in your crime-thwarting and we will equip you with vests, coats, top hats, spats, timepieces, parasols, flying goggles, driving goggles, ray guns ..."
"hold it!" cries babu.
looking out the courtyard window, mh suddenly starts chocking on his donut.
"whoa!" he exclaims. "sergeant blinkhorn, maybe you should consider it."
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Post by mh on Feb 28, 2014 22:28:37 GMT -6
"listen wing commander, "says babu, "if you'll go away, i'll allow you to have that cotillion thing you were talking about here."
"the justice city clockwork cotillion IV?" asks vinter-snell, shaking in expectation.
"yeah, whatever, "says babu.
"goody!" exclaims vinter-snell, as the others clap & cheer.
"whadya do that for?!" asks doc, as they leave.
"i just wanted them out of here, "says babu. "they're annoying & they scare peggy! and it's not like we can just toss them out. some of the leading citizens of justice city are in those stupid costumes!"
peggy comes running in, "dammit! now the others are here!"
"who," asks babu, then looking down the hall, "omg no ... not jugallos."
one points at mh, who's jerked out his mauser, at this terrible site.
"yo! ya' boy jus' pulled a glock on us!"
"what the hell are these things? killer klowns from outer space?" exclaims mh.
"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 9, 2014 13:41:57 GMT -6
Vintner-Snell,seeing them, turns back and comes in and says, "Who are these strange Harliquinesque ruffians?"
"Yo, who are you calling ruffians?" the lead jugallo says and pulls out a bottle of Faygo cola, the drink of choice of jugallos. He shakes it up, opens it, and sprays Vintner-Snell.
"Zounds! You have soiled my habidashery, you cretin! He pulls a hidden sword from his cane and says, "You have offended my honor! Now you must pay!"
Peggy, seeing the confrontation, jumps under her desk. "Kenny! Buddy! How many times have I told you to quit hiding under my desk!"
"Those clowns done scared me!" Kenny says.
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Post by mh on Mar 12, 2014 23:49:36 GMT -6
"now break it up!" yells babu, stepping between 'wing commander felix vinter-snell' and 'kotton kandy'.
looking out in the courtyard, mh exclaims, "this is turning ugly!"
fortunately, the remaining steam-punks begin firing their fake laser guns, distressing the juggalos, who's ears have become sensitive from listening to 'ICP' music non-stop.
"yo!! the pain!" cries one, and the juggalos begin running away.
"we are victorious!" cries snell.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 14, 2014 6:08:59 GMT -6
Later, Kotton Kandy and the other juggalos are fuming about the incident with the steam punkers in their headquarters.... Kotton Kandy's grandma's basement. "Yo, they made us look like clowns, yo! I mean, we're already clowns, but they made us look like clown clowns!"
"But what are we gonna do about it?" one of the other juggalos says.
Would you and your little friends like some juice boxes or cookies?" an elderly voice suddenly calls down.
"Yo, Grandma! Don't be crashing our secret meetings! That's whack, yo!" Kotton Kandy says.
"Yes, dear"
"Yo, I say we crash the steam punker's big cattilion they have every year," Kotton Kandy says.
"But there's more of them, yo!" another from the crows.
"We'll call every juggalo in the state to com wit' us! It'll be sick!" Kotton Kandy says.
The crowd cheers.
Kotton Kandy looks thoughtful and then says, "Yo, Grandma! We'd like some of those juice boxes!"
"What's the magic word?"
Kotton Kandy rolls his eyes and says, "please..."
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Post by mh on Mar 14, 2014 16:37:43 GMT -6
"you heard that," says babu baboon, shutting off the listening device.
"thanks for shutting it off," says doc, "the sound of them slurping their juice boxes was driving me up a wall."
"we have to set up a defense perimeter, "says babu. "i got an idea! something i saw in that 'Captain Phillips' movie my wife made me see with her."
"why're u so worked up by this, "asks mh. "is it 'killer clowns from outer space'?"
"no," replies babu with a shudder, "it was 'IT' -- the 'Stephen King' thing they did for teevee with john ritter. ever since i saw it i hate the things."
"what about you?" babu asks doc.
"ever since my folks took me to see pavarotti in pagliacci, I cannot abide clowns, "doc replies, with a cringe. "what about you mh?"
"cesar romero as the joker," mh replies, looking slightly terrified. "why couldn't that pasty faced son of a bitch just leave batman alone?"
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Post by mh on Mar 16, 2014 1:37:21 GMT -6
later, the monkey alliance has set up fire hoses around the building, to soak the harlequins before they can wreck the cattilion.
"we have to keep this internal, "says baboon. "if mayor bruce campbell gets wind of it, he'll call in the national guard."
"he has a fear of clowns too?" asks doc.
"yeah, rodeo clowns, "says babu. "one of his ex-wives ran off with one."
"was it the ex-stripper?" asks mh.
"they were all ex-strippers," babu answers sadly.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 17, 2014 20:26:52 GMT -6
The Monkey Alliance members take posts around the headquarters leaving the interns, dressed in Victorian finery, to keep tabs on the gadgeteers as catillion hostesses. "Well, this should be over quickly," Doc Quantum snorts, bringing his MA communicator to his mouth..
"I almost feel sorry for them," Babu replies.
"Um... guys?" MH says into his communicator as he looks through his spie-glasses. "Remember that enormous army scene from braveheart where there were fighters as far as the eye could see?"
"Yeah," Babu says into his communicator.
"Well, imagine it with freaky clowns..." "Sweet mother of God...." Babu says.
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Post by mh on Mar 28, 2014 0:15:49 GMT -6
a helicopter lands on the roof, and mayor bruce campbell steps out with a group of his loyal bodyguards sporting AK47's.
"calm down guys," says the mayor. "they're loaded with rubber bullets."
suddenly the clowns all surge toward the building, and the m.a. blasts them with powerful hoses on all four side. as some get their clown makeup washed off they run away screaming. others, going back to their normal identities of minimum wage burger flippers, sob angrily and threaten to sue.
"okay men," the mayor says to his bodyguards, "fire at the clowns on my signal." and gritting his teeth, "concentrate on the rodeo variety."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 28, 2014 10:47:46 GMT -6
"We've got 'em on the run!" Babu cries enthusiastically. "Soon this nightmare will be over!"
Suddenly, they hear a voice cry out, "Egaads! These painted brigands seek to disrupt out cotillion! Lets show them what for!" A crowd of steampunk enthusiasts immediately runs out into the crowd of juggalos."
Babu pinches the bridge of his nose as if getting a migraine. "Well, this situation degenerated about as soon as you'd expect."
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Post by mh on Mar 30, 2014 20:16:25 GMT -6
the steam punks begin slap-fighting at the remaining juggalos, but the steam punks are largely outnumbered.
"jezus, they'll get killed!" yells mayor bruce campbell. "those corset wearin' fancy lads don't have a chance against those painted-up imbred rednecks! the juggalos live for drinking, fighting and teen pregnancy!"
"steam punks! use yer fake ray-guns!" yells babu.
"they can't hear you," says the mayor. "but luckily I brought a secret weapon!"
the mayor and his bodyguards open up a big crate the helicopter towed in, and they roll it into the freight elevator.
in moments it bursts out into the parking lot.
"hail to the king, baby!" yells mayor bruce campbell. "it's on rodeo clowns!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 2, 2014 15:51:12 GMT -6
Juggalos begin screaming and diving out of the way. "Boo-yah!" shouts Mayor Bruce Campbell.
"We've got them on the run!" MH yells enthusiastically.
"It looks that way," Babu agrees.
Suddenly, Campbell's craft screeches to a halt. Everyone looks on in horror as he begins to get out of the car.
"What the hell's he doing?" MH says. "What's going on?"
"We underestimated them. They have the one thing that directly affects Mayor Campbell's fatal weakness.," Babu says.
"What's that?" MH says frantically.
"Juggalettes."
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Post by mh on Apr 7, 2014 20:22:33 GMT -6
"oh crap!" exclaims babu.
the monkey alliance members immediately leap down to the lawn & begin beating the juggalos.
"wow, these guys are punks!" yells mh, as the juggalos run away.
"yeah," says babu, "they gave up quickly. but sadly, my fists are covered in clown makeup!"
"i hope some of me gets covered in clown makeup!" says mayor bruce Campbell, leering at the juggalettes.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 8, 2014 14:33:22 GMT -6
Vintner-Snell suddenly shows up and claps Babu on the shoulder. "Good show, old boy! We certainly showed those loutish harlequins what for!"
"We?" mouths Babu.
"Yeah, it's been a good day," Mayor Bruce Campbell says, revving the engine as he fires up his strange car. In the passenger seat and back are a bunch of jugalettes. "See you guys later. I've got secretaries to interview. I think one of these gals might even be the future ex-Mrs. Mayor Bruce Campbell!"
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