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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 16, 2014 21:25:19 GMT -6
"You can't marry her!" MH says.
"Why not?" Jacob says. "My family is quite well off! We have over five cows!"
Yoder holds his singed hand up to Skye and whimpers.
"Oh, poor baby!" Skye says, leaning down to kiss his boo boo.
"Poor baby?" MH exclaims.
"I see where they go!" Pyongyang says. "We go there now!"
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Post by mh on May 3, 2014 3:23:20 GMT -6
running down an alley, pulling an unconscious sal along, amos gasps, "we must escape at all costs! in here, it's our only hope."
a bell on the door rings as they go in. "sam's all nite barber shop, "says sam, "how can i help you?"
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 3, 2014 6:31:51 GMT -6
Quick, man! We must be disguised!" Amos says. "We will all need shaves!"
"Not.... *gasp* not our beards!" Saul exclaims.
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Post by mh on May 3, 2014 23:26:05 GMT -6
moments later, the monkey alliance, interns, and their friends pass by 'the amish league of assassins', who are now clean shaven & wearing hastily purchased t-shirts, but do not detect them or notice that one, now with a mohawk, is the semi conscious sal.
"hey, ju notice a couple of them guys was crying?" asks drunken babu.
"i think their eyes was watering from all the witch-hazel they'd slapped on their faces," replies mh, peering around for any sign of the amish. "couldn't you smell it? you gotta go easy on that stuff. what a nice group of clean cut lads! but their t-shirts were a bit tasteless."
yoder, tamed since skye kissed his boo boo, points toward the clean cut youths and grunts.
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 15, 2014 15:55:21 GMT -6
Yoder continues to grunt and gesture to the barber shop. Skye tugs on his arm trying to get him to keep moving.
"I know, Yoder. Some of those T-shirts are just wrong," MH says, "but we need to keep looking."
Finally, Yoder picks up a mail box and hurls it through the barber shop window. The disguised Amish assassins inside scream in horror.
"Bad Yoder! Bad!" Skye scolds.
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Post by mh on May 23, 2014 21:58:18 GMT -6
"wait! *cough cough*" exclaims yoder.
"what?!" exclaims skye, "you can talk?"
"sure," rasps yoder. "I joined a frat and went a little ... crazy. you see, i'm a bit of a football star. they call me, 'the amish orangutan!' i've got the highest rushing record in the whole southwest conference! the jets want to draft me! amos snatched me and chained me up because i was freaking out. but my dream is joining the jets."
"when yer a jet, yer a jet all the way!" exclaims mh.
"from yer first cigarette, 'till yer last dying day." replies babu.
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Post by mh on May 23, 2014 22:09:09 GMT -6
"skye, would you come to my grad party with me next week?" asks yoder.
"wait! hold on big boy!" shouts mh. "don't make me choke hold yer arse out again!"
"is that what that was?" asks yoder. "I thought my scarf was on too tight."
"what?" exclaims mh.
"listen sir, i don't mean to be forward," says yoder, "but this party is kind of a big deal. you can all come! and joe nameth is going to be there."
"nameth?!" exclaims mh.
just then the amish, running in panic, happen to turn the corner & meet the m.a. head on.
"lucky i brought my rake!" exclaims skye.
"ghaaaa!" they scream.
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 25, 2014 15:52:32 GMT -6
The Amish turn and run. Sal is still slung over the shoulder of one of them and waking up.
"Look guys, I don't even like cheese! I'm lactose intolerant!"
"Silence, Haimish!" the Amish guy carrying him says..."We will not be swayed by your deception."
Sal notices the draft on his head and feels his new Mohawk. "What the heck did you do to my hair?!!"
Sky flings her rake and it hits one of the Amish in the back of the knees and knocks him down. "The English harpy has felled me! Run on without me!"
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Post by mh on May 27, 2014 21:03:29 GMT -6
"i'll never talk!" cries ezekiel. and as the monkey alliance grab him, he gasps, "oh my gosh! i've never in my days seen such skin tight outfits! yer a'leavin' very little to the imagination! hey you in the red -- mh was it? maybe sometime you'd like to take in a couple of old gladiator movies. and then go for a few drinks, then a nice relaxing steam someplace. and then see where that goes."
"huh?" cries mh.
"fine i'll talk!" cries ezekiel. "i know right where they be a'goin'! you english in yer tight fitting finery have done bewitched me! i am afire with lust!"
"i knew it," yoder whispers to the monkey alliance, "by amish standards, ezekiel is positively flaming."
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 31, 2014 8:51:21 GMT -6
The MA starts to move in the direction Ezekial points out to them. Babu throws Ezekial over his shoulder.
"You know, I have milked many cows," Ezekial says to MH. "I have very skilled fingers."
"Shut up... shut up.... SHUT UP!" MH exclaims.
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Post by mh on Jun 3, 2014 23:22:09 GMT -6
"okay gosh almighty!" says ezekial. "obviously yer gonna dominate me like nobody's business. but i'm cool with that! now hurry, this way!"
they turn north from meaty mcgees, and eventually come to a deserted old farm, a quarter mile outside the main hubbub of town.
"here!" says ezekial, "the errie corn maze. from inside there they can escape to perdition, where they have a fresh horse and buggy waiting."
"no way jose'!" cries long duck dong. "he who walks among rows might be in there! the donger too young to die!"
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Post by mh on Jun 6, 2014 21:53:30 GMT -6
"calm down dong!" says babu. "there's no need for you to go if you don't want to. there are a lot of entrances and foot paths. ezekiel, what do you think?"
"i think, "says ezeikiel, "you'd look a lot hotter if you'd get some of that body hair off! it's no crime to shave your arms and chest! in the 90's it was mandatory! i would gladly assist you! as a matter of fact, i could be the monkey alliance valet!"
"y'know," mh whispers to babu. "that's not a bad idea. it's murder getting this corset oiff."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 7, 2014 9:54:10 GMT -6
"Remove some of my...." Babu exclaims. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a freagin' baboon!"
"Oh don't be so hard on yourself," Ezekiel says. "You're not THAT ugly."
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Post by mh on Jun 7, 2014 22:16:17 GMT -6
"geeze," says ezekiel, "what a poor self image this guy has! but his carrying skills, and his big brown eyes & his skimpy costume more than make up for it. just heavenly!"
"listen," breaks in long duck dong, "i'm way into the partying scene! if you help us, dong will introduce you to many hot south korean fun-boys! put you up in non-amish apartment for many months, just like big brother house, except no hot ladies! you have time of your life!"
"i'll do it!" squeals ezekiel.
as 'zeke' describes where the other amish must of gone, mh whispers, "thanks dong."
"no problem," says dong, "south korean fun-boys be overjoyed to have him. owe them many favors! often point 'dong' out to needy fat girls ..."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 7, 2014 14:34:09 GMT -6
The group moves into the corn maze slowly. The silence is eerie.
"Boy howdy... I think we making big mistake," the donger says.
Suddenly, ears of corn come flying from all directions. Yoder leaps forward, valiantly taking the full brunt of the assault before falling to the ground unconcious.
"What the hell was that?" MH exclaims.
"A message, I think," Babu says. "We're on their turf now."
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