the monkey alliance vs the amish league of assassins part 1

"i wish we could get babu awake, "says mh. "he'd know what to do. i can't use my incredible array of weapons or head-kicking techniques against them. they're only kids! if only kenny & buddy were here! they could create a machine to make us all teenagers!" mh sighs deeply," and i'd never go back."

"i'm a teenager," rasps yoder, getting to his feet and looking embarrassed.

"what?" exclaims skye.

"yeah," he continues. "i'm kind of a  ... genius. i graduated high school at 14! i'm only 17 now .."

skye points out the door to the attacking horde of psychotic teens, kisses yoder on the cheek and says,"sic 'em!"

"gosh!" exclaims yoder, reddening deeply.

suddenly, as the teens attack and smash into the cottage with their weapons, the front door explodes from the inside, and yoder steps out.

"it's clobberin' time!" he exclaims.

skye runs out into the horde of amish and yells, "yoder! don't listen to them!"

"she is the cause of this!" cries amos, "get her!"

"ghaaaa!" yells skye as the amish desend upon her. "if i only had my rake!"

the amish stand incisively, not knowing whether to attack or retreat. just then dave pulls out his .38 and fires a few warning shots.

"ahhh! retreat!" yells amos.

he stops briefly and cries, "you've beaten us english! but he who walks among the rows be real! we have spied him! he be a frightful sight. none of ye will escape alive english!" 

with that he picks up his fallen big black hat and runs.

"wot happened?" slurs sal, emerging from behind a persimmon bush, and rubbing his new mo-hawk.

"and wot happened to my hair?"

"your amish friends thought you'd stolen their cheese secrets pally, "says dave, helping sal to a porch swing.

"what's this cheese you speak of?" says sal. "the word is completely unfamiliar to me."

"he's been brainwashed of all cheese knowledge," gasps baboon.     

the daylight disperses, and it seems to somehow descend into twilight.

"jeeze, that's probably just a large hedgehog, "says mh, looking slightly frightened. "don't you think? anyway, i'm on an incredible roll tonite! i've got this." 

"wait," begins babu, but staggers from his lack of rest and debauchery, and falls into a faint.

"take care of him, " says mh. then taking skye's rake, he mutters, "just in case." then draws his 1916 mauser in the other hand and disappears into the black shadows of the cornfield.

"mh, be careful ...." rasps skye.

within seconds, "blam! blam! ghaaaaaa!!!" they hear shots and a blood curdling scream.

the rake flies out of the shadows of the cornfield and lands at skye's feet.

picking up the rake, skye looks over at yoder and taking a breath says, "c'mon. it's clobberin' time."

"anything for you," says yoder and they walk into the darkened cornfield.

"this is so romantic!" shrieks zeke, tearing up a little bit and grabbing a discarded sythe he runs to catch yoder & skye. "i'm coming too my crimson duke!"   

as they start to embrace there is a metallic zink, and "he who walks between the rows" falls over.

"noooo!" cries zeke.

then a beautiful brunette leaps from the cornfield, and kisses zeke on the mouth.

"ghaaaaaa!! get away!" cries zeke.

as she laughs, three other girls come out of the cornfield.

"who're you girls?!" demands mh.

laughing, the brunette says, "we're the "he who walks between the rows" interns! and he's sort of the ultimate scarecrow. or was until you perforated him."