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Post by mh on Mar 24, 2015 22:14:26 GMT -6
"you're going to help them?" grady wilson asks as babu grasps the vessel preparing to push.
"just for now to get rid of them, "babu whispers. "once they're away, we'll try and track down that scroll. i'm not sentencing p-diddy, ron jeremy, their hangers on, and whatever 3rd rate bottom feeding celebrities happen to be aboard, to serve on morgan's crew forever."
"yeah! it ain't safe to fall out of a boat with those guys around!" says grady.
"at least we got rid of the skirt, "says flatterin' mike, peeping from a porthole.
cabin girl kate, holding onto grady's arm, sticks her tongue out at him.
"boy am i glad were out of there," says doc quantum. "all that flattery was making flatterin' mike look slightly less disgusting. mrs. doc quantum could learn a thing or two from that guy!"
leering at doc from the porthole, as babu shoves the ship, flatterin' mike gushes, "who's the flatterer now?!"
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Post by mh on Mar 28, 2015 18:16:57 GMT -6
"look, here in these bushes done be a large rowboat!" exclaims kenny.
moments later they are all paddling out toward the direction of the ferry.
"this fog is awfully thick, "says babu, manning the oars. "this is one creepy stretch of lake!"
from the other end of the rowboat, grady, who seems to yell everything, yells, "mh! you say you're havin' yourself some love makin' troubles?"
Everyone on the rowboat laughs.
"dammit!" cries mh. "grady, why do you have to yell everything? and hey, i been married a long time! these things happen!"
"mh, "says grady, "I'm gonna show you how to take things from friendly, to freaky! i call this 'the monkey alliance'! this is 'the monkey alliance'! i know the crimson mullet's 15 beautiful cousin's are in there! don't make me use this battering ram! Bam! Bam!"
"grady, you've done it again!" cries babu.
"Ha!" yells grady. "after i finish 'fifty and freaky on the high seas', i'll do 'fifty and super-freaky'! and if you monkey alliance members will appear on the cover, i'll be one of your sponsors! we'll make so much money!"
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Post by mh on Mar 28, 2015 18:35:09 GMT -6
"but we cain't let misses wilson hear about all this!" continues grady. "what happens on the perv ship stays on the perv ship!"
"misses wilson!" cries cabin boy kate, and she begins chucking rocks at grady.
"damn!" exclaims grady.
"stop!" yells skye, as her and and amber throw themselves on cabin boy kate.
"listen!" says amber, "you'll come back to justice city with us! with that outfit there are a dozen sea food restaurants or strip clubs that would hire you. and in justice city yer a total 10. the guys will go crazy for you."
"strip clubs?" asks kate. "wait. you mean men will actually pay to see a woman take her clothes off?"
"damn," says skye, "you were on that boat load of homos way too long."
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 8, 2015 5:57:56 GMT -6
As they near P-Diddy's boat, Cabin Boy Kate looks through a pair of spy glasses they brought. "Oh no! Their boat must be taking on water! They've hung an enormous hose over the side to drain the water!"
Babu takes the spy glasses and takes a look.
"Run Jeremy must have climbed on their boat. That's him taking a leak."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Dec 10, 2015 9:35:49 GMT -6
As they get closer, two of Cabin Morgan's ship swing from ropes onto P-Diddy's ship and grab Ron Jeremy by each arm and swing back.
"What about the rest?" Babu says.
"We've gots the hedgehog!" Captain Morgan exclaims. "To hell with the rest!"
"Halp!" Ron Jeremy yelps like a fat hairy damsel in distress.
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Post by mh on Jan 19, 2016 0:03:03 GMT -6
watching from the bank the ferryman yells, "ney nave ne nedgehog!"
"yeah, we know they have the hedgehog!" yells skye. "but what can we do?"
they signal superjesse and a plan is formulated. he drops gil on the bridge, and already titillated by the hedgehog, overcome with lust, the crew begins chasing gil.
"ghaaaaaa!!!" screams gil. running in circles.
"maybe we should have told him our plan," says steve.
"plan? what plan?" says super-jesse.
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Post by mh on Jan 19, 2016 0:22:06 GMT -6
gil dives overboard, and in the confusion ron jeremy jumps in the water and uses gil as a floatation device. and using his johnson as a paddle, he and gil quickly make it to shore.
"come back hedgehog!!" cries the damned crew as the ship heads north and disappears.
"that was just creepy," says the hologram of the undead rajah.
"hey," says ron jeremy, "i found this scroll! i hid it in my pants!"
he takes it out and everyone backs away.
"hey, I thought you wanted it!" says ron jeremy.
"this is a damn dream come true!" screams grady wilson.
"we gonna make so much money!"
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Post by mh on Jan 19, 2016 0:31:47 GMT -6
later, babu, doc & mh who had slept for hours because of their bizarre experiences on the haunted ship wake up and find the group in a hastily constructed soundstage, filming "space sluts from venus 4".
"skye? what in the world is going on?" whispers babu groggily.
"oh, hi guys," whispers skye. "grady wilson said his favorite porn of all time was the "space sluts from venus" series, starring ron jeremy. but back in the early 80's, after 'space sluts 3' -- they never made anymore and he and thousands of other 'space sluts' fans never got to see how it ended! he says it's the 'holy grail' of porn! and 'we gonna make so much money!' -- you know how he talks. anyway, steve, using his incredible hacking skills, found the original script for 'space sluts 4' online! grady went nuts!"
"where'd the sluts come from?" asks babu.
"oh, ron Jeremy made some calls." says skye. "that guy knows a lot of sluts!"
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Post by mh on Jan 22, 2016 0:03:17 GMT -6
"why wouldn't they let us stay?!" exclaims gil back at monkey alliance hq. "we never finished our project!"
"you fainted!" cries steve. " it's like you'd never seen porn stars before! i swear, you let the shorties get to you too hard. not steve! wait'll they do 'space sluts 5'! steve'll be ready!"
meanwhile back at filming: "gasp!" says kenny, "look baboon! there's done some big women!"
"of course," says ron jeremy, who has just finished a scene. "in space there's zero gravity! for fat girls, it's like heaven! and as the poster in the original "space sluts from venus", said, 'in space, no one can hear you c-m'."
the next day they're all going into space for some location shooting.
meanwhile, down on earth looking up from the tranquil seas, flattering mike, watching the skies sees the spaceship miles away hurl thru the sky.
"luck to ye in yer journeys me ham'some starboard brightly suited gladiators," he says with tears in his eyes. "an' that be nay flattery."
the end -- coming soon: 'the justice monkeyhouse project episode 6 -- one mo' time!'
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