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Post by mh on Jan 3, 2019 2:14:52 GMT -6
"he screamed and prepared to fly away," says mh, "but before he could, i kicked him in the crotch like 87 times!"
"deal with that!" i yelled.
"you're what they call in the boxing world, a bad finisher," says babu.
"you got that right!" says mh. |
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Post by mh on Jan 3, 2019 21:34:17 GMT -6
"well, the monster screaming in done agony flew away sideways, a holdin' his junk, and mh done jumped back thru the plane window!" says buddy. "then, several air marshals, and passengers, not seeing the monster, after covering the broke window with a a huge stuffed carnival bear, done began trying to murder mh with plastic airlines knives & pillows! still drunk, mh done runned up the wall and kicked a bunch of them in the heads! mh grabbed a big gear head gym guy and throwed him and three of his freinds across the plane! flat on his back one yelled, "this damn red suited homo! it's like fighting the incredible hulk!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 4, 2019 22:15:50 GMT -6
Wait a minute!" Dakota says. "What about Zlad?"
"Oh, that?" Babu says. "Zlad wouldn't come down as long as he knew the Phantom of the Justice City Civic City Arena was gunning for him, so Doc, MH, Super Jesse and I found him and Mayor Bruce Campbell hooked him up with the best Hollywood plastic surgeons he knew. He's actually addicted to it now. He's become one of those human Ken Dolls!"
"Wow!" the interns gasp.
"Yeah, but as long as he wants surgeries, Molvania will keep paying for it so he doesn't sue," Babu says.
"Anyhey," he continues, "What's this about an off the books adventure? Peggy, when did MH book those tickets?"
"Never," Peggy, Babu's personal assistant who's been with him forever says. "But a lot has gone missing from petty cash. I guess this explains why."
"Yeah, it also excplains that weird Beach Boys Cocomo song parody MH made up where he goes 'Aruba Tawanda' instead of 'Aruba Jamaica'."
"Hold on! Hold on!" Tawanda says, raising her hand up. "My Mamma didn't raise me to let no cracker in the cookie jar!"
"Well, my mamma didn't raise me to walk around in a speedo, cape, and big red boots, but it still happened," Babu Baboon says.
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Post by mh on Jan 8, 2019 2:12:00 GMT -6
"damn tawanda, it was a novelty song, calm down!" says mh.
mh clicks on the teevee.
"damn!" says tawanda. "that thing was a hit?"
"i dunno," replies mh, " i just like seeing the french mom in underwear & curlers!"
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Post by mh on Jan 8, 2019 2:27:34 GMT -6
"anywhoop!" says mh, "to finish my stery, we landed, and all those turds who tried to kill me on the plane went around and saw the claw marks all over the right engine!"
"and a little gurl had filmed it with her sleeping mom's phone, and there i was pointing at the f-cker! seriously! how cut & dried is that? the airlines industry owes me big!"
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Post by mh on Jan 8, 2019 2:57:54 GMT -6
"anybloo-hoo-hoo,"says mh, "i was at the hospital where the doctors were trying to un-crush my spleen that the monster had used like a heavy bag, and the milfy stewardess and others kept visting me to show their appreciation! lucky the mrs. was keeping vigil by my bedside! or i might've joined the mile-high club. i was in the 14th floor & they were stewardesses, so it probably still counts."
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Post by mh on May 3, 2019 23:36:18 GMT -6
and now a word from our sponsors
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Post by mh on Oct 2, 2019 4:11:24 GMT -6
"goodness!" exclaims a local news reporter. . 
"that must be the most terrible creature the monkey alliance has ever faced!"
"no," replies doc quantum, "the most terrible creature the monkey alliance has ever faced would have to be either, the salomi monster, the dog head man, or my mother in-law!"
then after placing his witty barb, doc quantum turns to the monkey alliance and has a good laugh at his mother in-law's expense.
"ghhhh!!!!" screams mrs. doc quartum, hurling a hilary clinton snow globe at him & storming out.
"i'll done make up the futon in the guest bedroom," says buddy.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Oct 14, 2019 14:31:34 GMT -6
Oh no no no no!!!" Babu exclaims.
"Don't worry, Babu, I'll clean it up!" Taffy says, leaning down to start collecting the pieces. Suddenly, a tide of cash blows past her, nearly knocking her off her feet.
"What the heck?" she yelps.
"That's a Chinese cash demon!" Babu says. "It had taken the form of Hillary Clinton. We have to trap it again before it takes over the town.
"Can't we call call Desk-boy? He's our occult guy. Didn't he trap it before?" MH says.
"Yeah, but it wasn't easy. Only the filthy rich can see it," Babu says.
"But isn't Desk-boy a lord of hell?" Dakota asks. "Sounds like he should have major bank."
"Are you kidding?" Babu says. "Back when he was alive, he was an in-house art guy for a newspaper. He probably made Kenny and Buddy look like Rockefellers![/b][/font]
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Post by mh on Nov 3, 2019 1:55:45 GMT -6
"给我一些钱！(gimme me some money)!" the deamon exclaims.
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Post by mh on Nov 7, 2019 23:03:18 GMT -6
suddenly, who should appear before it but the monkey alliance's good pal richie rich.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Nov 20, 2019 10:34:14 GMT -6
Harvey comics being ancient history, however, this wasn't kid Richie Rich. This was adult Richie Rich who had just returned from a drug fueled tour of depravity in Bangkok. Since meeting the Monkey Alliance, if he wasn't drunk dialing them, he was dropping in on them at all hours. Baby didn't complain because it was useful to have a buddy who was both loaded and always hammered.
As the Chinese money demon darts by, Richie Rich let's put an annoyed cry. "Jesus H Christ! My dealer said this stuff should have already worn off!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 29, 2021 23:04:14 GMT -6
As the Chinese money Demon runs passed the bar girls who had slipped unnoticed onto Richie Rich's jet, they shriek in terror, huddling together.
Looking back and noticing them for the first time in hours,Richie screams,"H̄ubpāk sa! H̄ạw k̄hxng c̄hạn kảlạng ḳh̀ā c̄hạn!" which loosely translates to, "Shut up whores! My head is killing me!"
"So what's up, homos?" he says, turning to the Monkey Alliance.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 15, 2021 23:44:20 GMT -6
Twenty minutes later, they find themselves just outside of Justice City's China Town. Babu Baboon, MH, and Doc Quantum are standing outside the Monkey Mobile while Richie is sitting inside regaling Kenny, Buddy, and Super Jesse with tales of drunken exploits from around the world. "And Cadbury still isn't speaking to me. Back over a guy in your Bentley one time while he's napping.... how the hell did I get the Bentley inside? Much less upstairs? huh."
"Are you sure it's a good idea being here, Babu?" MH says.
"Why?" Doc Quantum asks.
"Because ever since he saw ,Gremlins', Jesse has been on the hunt for his on Mogwai. Whenever we come here, he totally forgets about whatever mission we're on and starts up again."
"I told you, I took care of that," Babu Baboon says.
"Sooner or later, he's going to figure out that dog ain't no mogwai," MH says.
"We won't be here long, anyway. One we meet up with Desk-Boy and the money demon finds out we've got a full blown demon on our team, he will be begging us to let him go back to where he came from."
"Yeah, about that," Desk-Boy says, appearing suddenly. "I can guide you to someone that might be helpful, but I can't be seen helping you myself. That's why I told you to meet me here in China Town."
"What? But you're the Lord of Cubile Malaise. You're getting more clout in Hell all the time!"
"Yeah, but he's got money, and that buys clout, too."
"They've got money in Hell?" Doc Quantum asks.
"Mostly crypto currency," Desk-Boy says.
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Post by mh on Jul 28, 2024 1:49:08 GMT -6
"this all reminds me of a fascinating stery!" begins mh.
"wait, we ain't done!" cries babu.
"me and the mrs was having some troubles! she was spending it faster than al capone could have printed it! finally one day, i said fine! being mh, a humble manhunter clone who may or may not have been in the secret-society of super-villains ain't working for me no more. i was standing by a bank machine and a fiddy popped out & hit me in the face. "a fiddy! it's an omen!" I cried.
"i'll become some money!" and the weird figure of money-man was born.
"i went to the mrs. and exclaimed," i'm no longer the man you married. i am money man!" suddenly, in an odd coincidence a dope plane flew over and a satchel fulla hunnies fell into my lap."
"take me money-man!" cries the mrs, fainting into my arms.
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