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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 28, 2024 10:19:19 GMT -6
"You can't be Money Man!" Richie Rich says.
"And why the hell not?" MH says.
"Because ever since my butler and I started fighting crime as Super Richie and Crashman, I hold the patent on money themed super heroes."
He takes aa swig of absinthe from his hip flask and says, "....you know, maybe making a distinguished English butler who used to work for the royal family dress up in spandex to punch bad guys is why Cadbury isn't talking to me. ... Nah, it's probably backing over him in the Bently. You know, I still wake up downtown in my old Super Richie costume sometimes? Hey, maybe you could be the new Crashman!"
"I wanna be Money Man!" MH yells.
"THe Monkey Alliance can't afford to make all new promo material with you as Money Man," Babu says.
"Can we please get baack to the Money Demon?" Doc Quantum exclaims.
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Post by mh on Jul 28, 2024 22:03:32 GMT -6
"the mrs won't be pleased!" fumes mh. "i was going to jack the money demon with a sock full of pennies!"
"that would have been a seriously money-man thing to do," says babu wistfully.
going over to babu, mh says, "you see there was a 'splosion at the mint! and cash greenbacks, a lowly mint guard who refused to leave his post inhaled the fumes of a million zinc coins! and the weird and arcane figure of money-man was born."
"i love money-man so much." says super-jesse.
"no money-man!" cries richie rich.
"can we pleassae focus on the money deeamon now?!!" demands doc quantum, exasperated.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 29, 2024 8:19:27 GMT -6
"Hmmm... you know Mayor Bruce Campbell is going to be pissed if he has to replace the 'Welcome to Justice City, home of the Monkey Alliance' Billboard because you changed your ID," Babu says.
"I tell you what," Richie Rich says. "I'll buy the Money Man IP from you. It will make a good grown up super hero ID for me." He pulls out a checkbook and starts writing.
Suddenly, the checkbook bursts into flames and the money demon rises from the smoke. "Gaaaah!" exclaims Richie, unsure if he's hallucinating.
"Look!" Babu exclaims, "The check had so many zeroes it summoned the money demon!"
"Noooo!" wails MH, seeing his chance to be a millionaire go up in flames. "I *choke* could have taken cash App."
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Post by mh on Jul 30, 2024 1:37:31 GMT -6
crying, my begins giving the money deamon a beatdown with a sock fulla pennies.
"ouch, ouch, ouch," says the money deamon. "damn worthless pennies!"
doc quantum holds up a dollar with the eyeball looking thru a pyramid, and yells the incarnation, "rockerfeller! getty! carnegie! vanderbuilt! musk! buffet!"
"ghaaaa! creepy damn american money!" cries the deamon.
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Post by mh on Jul 30, 2024 1:58:10 GMT -6
suddenly a man in green runs up yelling, "this looks like a job for money-man!"
"ouuu, isn't he handsome!" yells an old lady selling tamales.
"i'm money-man dammit!" cries mh.
"it's my butler cadbury!" cries richie rich.
"i'm not your butler any longer, runt!" yells cadbury. "i've planned this for years and your all ruining it! that was my globe! enter me money demon! and give me the wealth and power i have always craved!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 30, 2024 5:11:58 GMT -6
"It really is Cadbury!" Doc says. "You can still see the tire tracks from Richie's Bentley on his face!"
"How many times do I have to keep apologizing for that?" Richie exclaims.
"Never enough, you reprobate!" Cadbury says. "You ran me over... inside the house... upstairs!"
"We can't let them join. They'll be more powerful than ever!" Desk Boy Says.
"We need something to distract the demon," Babu says.
Richie turns to his entourage of Thai bar girls and yells, "sayaw sexy, puta!" *dance sexy, whores!*
The girls start to gyrate and the demon's pupils begin to dilate. "Heh heh. Pretty."
"Jesus. Are all rich guys degenerates?" MH says.
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Post by mh on Jul 31, 2024 0:37:24 GMT -6
"i know what you sexy ladies like!" says the demon adopting a more human form. "moola! wampum! pound notes! wallet candy!"
"no! get away from those tarts!" cries cadbury.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jul 31, 2024 19:42:06 GMT -6
"Those whores can suck a guy dry.... of money, that is," Richie Rich says.
"If my billions didn't automatically create new money by the minute, they'd have wiped me out. That demon doesn't stand a chance," he says, gesturing with his hip flask.
"Nooooo!!" Cadbury wails.
"Don't worry," Richie tells his ex-butler. "I still have your old Crashman outfit. "You can go back to being my sidekick.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Cadbury screams.
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Post by mh on Aug 1, 2024 0:48:33 GMT -6
the money deamon disappears with a horrible shriek.
"ahhh! all my riches!" cries cadbury.
suddenly a helicopter touches down, and who should get out but zack and cody!
"cadbury, you are the most excellent butler!" cries zack. "join us, and well give you whatever you ask!"
"hah!" cries cadbury, and he rushes over and they take off in the chopper.
"cadbury, wait!" cries richie rich. and a hand appears outside one of the windows.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Aug 2, 2024 13:24:19 GMT -6
"Look what you've done to me!" a voice cries out.
Everyone turns to see the money demon is now wearing a barrel.
"I've been turned into a poverty demon!" the former money demon cries. "Oh how you'll pay for this! You'll all experience crippling poverty like no one has ever seen before!"
Everyone starts laughing like loons. The Poverty demon looks confused. "Whaat?"
"We operate out of a strip mall because we can't afford the upkeep on our old headquarters," Babu laaughs. "Our Monkey Mobile is an old fantasticar that Mr Fantastic was going to total. In the words of Gandalf, 'You hold no power here!'"
"Dammit!" the poverty demon cries. "You guys are the worst bitches." He disappears in a cloud of brimstone.
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Post by mh on Aug 2, 2024 23:14:20 GMT -6
"dang babu, you hard core!" says tawanda's sister lisa from temecula.
"thank you lisa," says babu. "you're very charming."
"tell another one," says lisa, "mister i know richie rich and tryin' to get some butt."
"huh?" says babu.
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Post by mh on Aug 2, 2024 23:42:44 GMT -6
"very well, i'll tell the stery of, 'the lost house in the pines'!" says babu.
"no! not 'the lost house in the pines'!" cries doc quantum.
"damn," mutters sky, "i thought it was just a legend. lucky i brought my notebook."
mh looks at her and says, "how i've dreaded this day, and now it's here." he goes to the rum punch bowl, and instead of filling a glass, he lifts it and starts guzzling.
"fifteen years ago almost to the day, it was a dark and stormy night," begins babu. "mh, doc, desk-boy and myself were visiting state prison, and the cell of it's most infamous inmate, the crimson mullet!"
there's a clap of thunder, and everyone gasps.
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Post by mh on Aug 3, 2024 1:13:47 GMT -6
"you see, all over justice city super-criminals had begun to disappear! the police were baffled." says babu. "and the mullet, even from prison, had knowledge of everything that happened in justice city. so we had a michelob keg installed into his cell. as well as a build yer own baked potato bar! a huge rack of 80's clothes! he was living large."
"ah," said the mullet draining a michelob. "although we are foes, i've always maintained that the monkey alliance were gentlemen! and you have proved this to be true. the huntress diana, will you dance to caribbean queen with me?"
she throws babu a harsh glance, and says, "of course!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Aug 3, 2024 19:21:58 GMT -6
"'Wait a minute!' I snapped. 'You call me a sexist pig every chance you get and now you plan to dance sexy for this guy?'"
"Not 'for',' Huntress Diana said. 'If he wants me to dance.... he has to dance with me.'
"The Crimson Mullet smiled slyly and said, 'It would be my pleasure.'
One of the Mullet's cronies hit the button on the boom box and Carribean Queen began to play. The two began to dance..."
Were they any good?" Taffy asks.
"Good doesn't begin to describe them. They were better than Bruce Springsteen in 'Daancing in the Dark. ... better than George Michael and Andrew Ridgley in 'Wake me up before you go go'.... Better than Billy Squier and his entire band in 'Rock Me Tonight.' It was the best 80s White people daancing it has ever been my honor to witness."
MH brings his loose red sleeve up to his eyes to dab his eyes. "He ain't lyin' *choke*"
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Post by mh on Aug 8, 2024 23:09:10 GMT -6
"better than mh and gertrude degaton doing the the chameleon!" adds babu.
"damn!" cries tawanda's sister lisa from temecula. "i got that on my phone! mister talking about dancing and tryin' to get some butt."
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