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Post by Babu Baboon on May 28, 2022 5:55:30 GMT -6
this segment of 'lothar and the mystery of the skinwalkers' was brought to you by "gene gene the dancing machine"! watch out for nipples.
That white dude with the fro had a look on his face like "What the hell did I just witness?" |
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 28, 2022 6:05:23 GMT -6
A desperate looking Kenny runs up to Babu Baboon sweating and out of breath. Babu is turning in his tickets at the prize counter for a giant stuffed Tweety Bird. "Look, Kenny! Baboon Girl will love this, I'm sure! Yeah, she's twenty now, but my brain will never accept that!"
"Where the hell you been?" Kenny exclaims! "You ws done supposed to watch my back!"
"Sorry," Babu says. "The siren song of the skee ball machine beckoned and I was lost."
"I was winning so good they done accused me of counting cards!" Kenny exclaims.
"Well, I'm sure we can clear up this misunderstanding," Babu says.
"Is tht before or after we done get eaaten by the Wendigo they done sicked on me?" Kenny exclaims, pointing to an approaching figure.
""Gnaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Babu exclaims.
"Let's done get out of here!" Kenny yelps.
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Post by mh on May 29, 2022 0:23:13 GMT -6
babu & kenny jump into an elevator. babu yells, "snaku glakak nankak!" and the doors close just before the snarling wendingo reaches them.
"ha! he can't follow us," says babu, "he doesn't have a penthouse VIP card! damn ... i'm not sure what i just said to him ... several hundred million years ago baboons & wendingos were bitter enemies! anyway, how much did you win kenny?"
"oh, i done won the whole casino," says kenny, who takes out a deed and shakes it at him. "i was done a'counting cards like a crazy person."
"we're doomed!" cries babu.
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Post by mh on May 29, 2022 0:36:18 GMT -6
the elevator stops & an attractive girl gets on.
"did you gentlemen come up from the casino? i hope you were lucky."
"come up the the penthouse & u might get lucky yerself ... huh huh huh," says the still drunken babu.
"don't mind if i do," she replies. and she suddenly changes.
"ghaaaa!" cries babu.
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Post by mh on May 29, 2022 1:08:33 GMT -6
meanwhile back at the penthouse, lothar is talking to a stinkbug on the balcony, eating a tiny hamburger, who is really 'nervous elk'.
"the one thing worms in brains fears are the gray aliens,"says nervous elk. "they are very unpredictable. and they like to blow sh-t up!"
"what animal was made more popular by the film bambi,"says the alex trebec voice.
"an acid spitting florax!" cries gorak. the others nod in agreement.
"bzzzzttt!!" sounds the buzzer.
"dammit to hell!!" cries gorak.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 8, 2022 0:22:47 GMT -6
Meanwhile, back on the elevator, Kenny screams, "What're we gonna did? This crazy critter's gonna done eat us!"
"You got that right!" the wendigo says.
"Quick," Babu says. "We need some silver! Doc Quantum says Doctor Graves told him these sort of creatures are vulnerable to it!"
Kenny digs in his shorts for a few seconds and then pulls out a silver stud. He quickly jabs it in the wendigo's forehead.
The wendigo howls as smoke starts to rise from its skin. "Great spirits! That was in your junk!"
It rushes off the elevator screaming "Ew! Ew! Ew!!!" s smoke pours off it.
"I'm not even gonna ask," Babu says.
"It ws a gift from my old lady!" Kenny says.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 10, 2022 18:09:40 GMT -6
Suddenly, Navajo Mike steps onto the elevator. "So I guess you're the new owner, now."
"That's what the deed done says," Kenny says, shaking the piece of paper proudly.
"THen you need to see the bunker," Navajo Mike says.
"Why? What's in the bunker?" Babu asks warily.
"You'll see," Navaho Mike says. He slides back a secret panel and presses a hidden button. THe number above the door counts down until it foes pst the main floor, parking, and then rests on 'the bunker'.
As the door slides open, Navajo Mike says, "Boy will Worms In Brain be happy this isn't his problem anymore.
They walk down a hallway to a main room and Babu exclaims, "Holy Crap on a Stick!" when he sees what is hidden there.
"Yeah, now you get to be the ones to keep those crazy destructive grey bastards from getting their ship back!"
Kenny circles around the saucer and says, "If I'm gonna done trade my truck in for this, I'm gonna need somewhere to hang my truck nuts.
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Post by mh on Jun 13, 2022 0:14:52 GMT -6
back at the penthouse, the grays have moved their gaming into the big bedroom. blathar, perhaps the nicest of the grays comes out and a champagne bottle flys out the door and crashes against the wall near his head.
"gorak! you flarger!" cries blathar, "it ain't my fault you suck at jeopardy!"
he waddles over & drunkenly collapses on the couch.
"hey earthboys, "says blathar, "you should adjourn to the other half of the penthouse."
"how come?" says agent doug. ,
"oh ... the bilderberg group is on their way here. you know, new world order & all that snargart ..." says blarthar, lifting a hand, and a fresh champagne bottle flies into it, and the cork pops out. he immediately starts gulping.
"why are they meeting here?" asks doc quantum.
"oh, to kiss our little grey fannies so's we won't sploid this stinkhole of a planet!"
"what a sh-t show of a cornholing this has turned out to be!" exclaims agent doug.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 13, 2022 8:18:38 GMT -6
Thousands of years ago, the Americas were more populated than China," Navajo Mike says. "We didn't refer to the land as America back then. We called it Aatlantis."
"What?" Babu exclaims.
"We were a thriving, sophisticated society. Our main industry was our casinos," Navajo Mike says proudly. "People came from all over the galaxy to vacation here. Mars.... venus... Zepton 5... all the important worlds."
"wow..." Babu says, stunned.
Then those damn grey bastards showed up. They were terrible gamblers, placing the most stupid bets imaginable. It turns out they were terrible losers, too. They couldn't accept that they just weren't any good. They bombed us back to the stone age, killing millions!"
"Damn!" Babu exclaims.
"We were just strting to recover when the Spaniards showed up and wiped us out with the freaking flu."
"Jeez, that's tough," Babu says.
"Hey, does this thing done have one of those six CD players?" Kenny says, studying the UFO. "I've always wanted one a' those."
"It's a UFO," Navajo Mike says. "it has satellite radio."
"I gotta have a CD player so I ban done listen to my Kenny Chesney albums!" Kenny insists.
"Good call, Kenny," Baby says. "I once got lured in by the siren's call of the satellite radio and it's wonderful 80s alternative station and forgot to check for the CD player when buying a car. Biggest mistake I ever made."
"Are you people for real?" Navajo Mike exclaims. "We're about to get blown to hell!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 17, 2022 6:20:41 GMT -6
Back in the penthouse, Doc is doing his best to keep the grey aliens distracted. "I'm gonna grab another beer. You need another, Gorak?"
"Hey, weren't there two more of you earthboys?" Blathar says.
"Um, I think they went to the other side of the penthouse like you said," Doc says.
"No, my grysklex sense would have detected them," Blathar says. "This is supposed to be a party. They can't just leave! We need lots of people around so we cn look important to the Bilderberg group!"
"Gorak rushes to the doorway. "They are gone? The diminutive one in the trucker's cap promised to introduce me to a substance known as malt liquer. THe way he described it made it sound like the nectar of the gods. I will not be denied!"
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Post by mh on Jun 19, 2022 0:55:21 GMT -6
doc looks inside the room's mini college-boy fridge & finds a treasure trove of malt based beverages.
"blarthark!!" cries gorak happily. and he & blathar haul them into their bedroom, where 'jeopardy' can still be heard.
"let us consume mass quantities!"
"kenny's gonna be pissed!" says mh. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 23, 2022 7:23:22 GMT -6
Suddenly, there's a knock at the door of the penthouse. Doug looks through the peephole. "Oh crap!"
"What is it?" Doc says.
"See for yourself!" Doug says. "We're so screwed!"
Doc looks through the peephole. He sees a bunch of well dressed men and women wearing fezzes emblazoned the illuminati symbol.
"What the hell?" Doc exclaims.
"It's the Bilderberg Group!" Doug says. "Now what do we do?"
The knocking continues. "Hello?" a German accented voice says from the other side of the door. "Ve are here for ze meeting!"
"We need to distract them," Doc says.
"Let me handle it?" MH says. He throws open the door. "Ah yes! The time share meeting! "Come in and we can show you how a suite like this can be yours at a fraction of the cost!"
"Vat the hell?" the German says.
"One of us needs to make sure the aliens don't come out nd blow it," Doc whispers to Doug.
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Post by mh on Jun 26, 2022 22:55:10 GMT -6
"where're the gray guys at?" asks mitt romney as he lounges on the couch.
doug who is babysitting the greys in the big bedroom peeks out the cracked door & enthuses, "omg! mitt romney! what a dream boat! my pants are getting tight!"
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Post by mh on Jun 26, 2022 23:21:46 GMT -6
he peeks out again & sees alex jones.
"alex jones!? dammit. my pants aren't tight anymore."
jones & some of the illuminati members begin discussing the link between nazis & aliens.
"nazis, what flargin meanies ... what stupid haircuts ..." mumbles a semi-conscious gorak.
"if these bilderberg creeps didn't bring that smokin' hot horseface sarah jessica parker like we tol' em, theses gonna be consequences ... snore ... "
"that's it go to sleep, you psychotic grey little angel, "whispers doug.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 27, 2022 11:02:52 GMT -6
"Alex Jones!" Mitt Romney exclaims. "How did you infiltrate our meetings again! I told you that you're not supposed to be here!"
'Alex Jones' suddenly takes off his mask revealing George Soros. "I can't believe you fell for it again!" He puts his mask back on. "Hey, everybody! They're making the frogs gay."
"He didn't mean literally gay," Romney says with a huff. "He was talking about the frogs changing gender because of chemicals in the water."
"Then he was being transphobic to those poor frogs!" Soros says yanking off his mask indignantly.
"Vould you two nitwits knock it off! We have serious business to discuss here!"
The German turns to Doc Quantum and says, "Ve must see the grey aliens. There is a problem with the robots zey gave us to pretend to be the American vorld leaders. Biden-bot keeps breaking down and Kamilla-bot is ztuck on maniacal laughter. It iz Freaking ze people out."
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