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Post by mh on Apr 27, 2022 14:26:51 GMT -6
lothar and the mystery of the skinwalkers!
a waking nightmare starring lothar of the hill people, babu baboon, mh, doc quantum, skye, some men in black, and various other sociopaths.
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Post by mh on Apr 27, 2022 22:51:56 GMT -6
a black opps helicopter passes over the wilds of utah casting a shadow over the desert & scrubland. inside are 4 monkey alliance members, two shadowy government types in dark suits and aviator glasses, and skye, a monkey alliance intern. one of the g-men is talking into a device.
"approaching the property, i see a natural rock formation, penile in shape. corn-holing it's way into the morning mist."
"why does everything this guy say sound home erotic?" doc quantum whisper to babu, who shrugs.
"agent," says babu, "you said whwn u left the property last, you heard this terrible shriek?"
"yes!" exclaims the agent, "like something was in pain -- or getting corn-holed! maybe ..."
"dammit, shut up doug!" says the pilot. |
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Post by mh on Apr 27, 2022 23:10:52 GMT -6
"as we explained, "says the pilot, "activity has gone crazy out here. the president, miffed that obama & trump got a lot of ufo media coverage, wants a taste! he sees this as his opportunity."
"yeah, and your pal here," says doug motioning to lothar, "can apparently communicate with these things -- in the agency he's known as 'the skinwalker whisperer' -- !"
"seriously?!" cries doc. "but i'm the supernatural guy!"
"buddy, do you need a hug?" asks doug. "we could go into the toilet if you want some privacy."
"dammit doug!" cries the pilot.
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Post by mh on Apr 27, 2022 23:35:44 GMT -6
"lothar, you've been to skinwalker ranch before?"
"yes!" says mh. back in 2015 when we fought the kentucky goblins! babu, you were in a coma for like two months."
"i remember," say babu. "they invaded paduckah!"
"anyway," says mh, "apparently lothar and his forebearers have power over the skinwalkers. some legends say they are ancient Navajos who became shape-shifters with the use of evil spirits."
"uhh, stupid Navajos," snarls lothar.
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Post by mh on Apr 28, 2022 0:00:32 GMT -6
"we're here!" cries doug as they land.
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Post by mh on Apr 28, 2022 0:07:54 GMT -6
they unload lots of supplies.
"use the radio if you need help." says doug. "lothar, use your codename."
"what's his codename?" asks babu.
"dances with skinwalkers!" says doug.
lothar shuts his eyes.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 29, 2022 9:59:59 GMT -6
"So, MH....," Doug says. "You like movies about gladiators?"
"What?" MH exclaims. "Get the hell away from me!"
"Jeez... I was just trying to make conversation," Doug says."
"Just help us with this stuff," MH says, lugging a piece of equipment.
They get it all into the old house, finally. When they step outside, they are confronted with what appears to be an old-school Navajo warrior.
"You are in the wrong place," the warrior says. "Follow me."
"You think we should follow?" Doc asks Lothar.
"This is obviously a powerful spirit," Lothar says. "We should see where he wants us to go."
"This is above my pay grade," Doug says nervously. "But we've gone this far. He nods to the other G-Man"
Skye grabs her rake and follows them.
After they walk for a bit, the Navajo says, "Almost there.
Lothar says, "Thank you for guiding us, oh great warrior spirit."
"Great warrior spirit?" the Navajo chuckles. "My name's Mike. I work for the casino. That was just the old tool shed where you guys were sticking your luggaage."
"Casino?" Doc Quantum exclaims.
"Yeah," Navajo Mike says. "There it is. I told you we were close! I'll send some bag boys for your stuff. I'll talk to the concierge and see if I can get you some free chips for your trouble."
"Our maps might be a little out of date," the second G-Man says.
"You think?" Skye says.
"So, you think the skinwalker plays mahjong?" MH asks Lothar.
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Post by mh on May 1, 2022 22:22:35 GMT -6
as they look at the structure, doug notices a few young gentlemen playing a game several yards away.
"activity sometimes attracts the spirits --" says doug. taking off his suit. he is sporting shorts & a t-shirt underneath.
"i'm going in!"
"and the game has to be what?", sighs babu, "of course, cornhole ...." with a palm slap.
"damn," says mh, "he never misses a shot!"
"seriously, i barely know this guy, "says the pilot.
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Post by Babu Baboon on May 4, 2022 18:14:44 GMT -6
"Let's not get distracted here," Babu says. "We're on a mission here!"
"Yeah, God forbid it turns into another one of your clown shows," Lothar says.
"What's that, reserve member?" Babu says.
"Nothing," Lothar says, looking down.
"Holy crap! There it is!" Doc exclaims, taking off at a full sprint. He tackles what appears to be a fearsome creature, knocking it to the ground'
"Jesus, look at the size of this thing!" Doc says, trying to pin it. "Are you guys going to help me out here or what?"
"What are you doing to Saammy?" Navajo Mike exclaims.
"Sammy?" Babu says.
"Yeah, Sammy the Skinwalker. Our casino mascot."
The skinwalker's head suddenly seems to fall off and Doc screms in surprise.
the head of a pimply faced teenager suddenly popped out of the neck hole. "Get the hell off me, ya weirdo!"
"Yep... clown show..." Lothar grumbled.
"Cornhole!" Doug yelled in the distance, throwing his arms up in triumph.
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Post by mh on May 5, 2022 20:07:44 GMT -6
just then an amish guy walks up to mh and says, "well hello to you english!"
"sal?!!" cries mh.
sal whips off his hat & beard & embraces mh.
"sal, why are you here?" asks mh.
"avoiding the tax people, and my seven ex-wives!" exclaims sal. "and i've found a a great income source here." sal hands mh a card.
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Post by mh on May 6, 2022 3:24:47 GMT -6
lothar hears "pssst! lothar!" behind a boulder and walks over.
"nervous elk?" asks lothar.
"yes it's me!" says nervous elk. "you didn't know me right away because i've lost a bunch of weight! did you bring 'flies like bears' with you?"
"no super-jesse said he needed to pluck chickens." replies lothar.
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Post by mh on May 6, 2022 3:45:04 GMT -6
"but i'm glad you guys are here, "says nervous elk. "our new chieftain, 'worms in brain' has parlayed with the grey aliens!"
"the greys," says lothar brooding. "their mission is mysterious. what can you tell me about 'worms in brain'"?
"the name says it all!" says nervous elk. "if you see a tall navajo who has merged with a rabbit spirit, carrying a hatchet, run."
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Post by mh on May 7, 2022 23:29:31 GMT -6
"but elk, what should we ..." begins lothar.
he looks away for a second, and when he turns back 'nervous elk' is gone.
"i hate when they do that, "sighs lothar.
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Post by mh on May 7, 2022 23:52:14 GMT -6
"i sense there are eyes on us out there,"says the second agent, looking out into the distance.
"i have an idea!" says doug, as the cornhole game breaks up. and he starts sprinting out into the scrubland, as quickly as a relay runner.
"i don't know if that's a good idea." says babu.
50 yards out something bursts out from behind a boulder.
"aiiieeee!!" cries doug, and he begins quickly running back.
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Post by mh on May 7, 2022 23:58:40 GMT -6
"agent," are you alright?" asks doc quantum as doug arrives back.
"oh no. he's gone to his safe place," says the other agent.
"sheesh. come on cornholio," says the agent taking his arm. "let's go in & play the nickel slots until you come out of it." |
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