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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 0:39:12 GMT -6
meanwhile agent doug is on the phone with his one hollywood contact, bruce vilanch.
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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 0:44:41 GMT -6
"it's all true!" says agent doug, "and even mitt romney and george soros are here ..."
what a couple of dreamboats!" exclaims bruce vilanch.
"where are you anyway?" asks doug.
"oh, i'm in the other room from you. i'm a member of the illuminati!"
"ghaaaaa!!!!" cries doug.
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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 0:58:11 GMT -6
shaken, agent doug looks around and sees the greys are gone.
"sh-t! they couldn't have gotten far." hisses doug.
taking a back exit, he leaves and finds them in the hotel's old 80's style arcade.
gorak is in an old tempest console style arcade game that you crawl into.
"this thing has taken me into another dimension!" cries gorak. "i'm fighting for the life of the universe!"
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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 1:09:10 GMT -6
"i gave him a quarter," says a little girl smiling. "these guys are nuts!"
"he's been playing for four minutes, and he's broke 9 thousand points!" says a guy filming gorak with his phone. "i'm linked to funspot the arcade gaming authority. a room full of nerds are peeing their pants right now! it's impossible!"
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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 1:22:39 GMT -6
"you fat sacks of glark! .... ghaaaaa!!!!" cries gorak slapping buttons.
famed gen. 'looseleaf' harper with the bilderberg group walk up looking pale.
"agent, i thought even with their great technology we might defeat the greys with our superior skills. but look at him. that thing's a killing machine!"
"ghaaaaa!!!!" cries gorak slapping buttons.
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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 1:48:59 GMT -6
nearby, the third alien furgert is playing frogger.
"flarger!" he screams as a car flattens his frog. then he falls down and rolls around on the carpet screaming.
"im all mashed!"
"no," says the little girl, helping him up. "look she says pointing at the screen, "the frog's okay again."
"yer nice," says furgert, patting her head. "when we blows up the planet, you can come with us. we'll take doug too."
"mitt romney, mitt romney ..." chants doug, shutting his eyes & crossing his fingers.
"okay, pretty boy can come too," says furgert glaring at doug.
"sugar man!" cries doug. "sugar MAN!!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 28, 2022 5:01:05 GMT -6
"It's okay," Babu says, suddenly appearing with Kenny. "When I heard they had gone to the 80s style arcade, I sent for a specialist to challenge them. With luck, they'll be so scared by his skill they'll run their grey little hineys out of here in sheer terror at his mad skills."
A figure steps out of the shadows. It's Jesse's cousin Joe Hallen.
"Joe Hallen!" Doug says. "My God. He's the top 80s video game champion in the country!"
"Nnnnggg. Need fuel," Joe says.
"Here ya go, pal," Babu says, handing him a large bag of skittles. Joe downs it like Popeye's spinach. "Lets get to work."
"Good luck, son," Doug says. "Your country... nay, the world... is counting on you."
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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 22:29:42 GMT -6
"this could go on forever," says babu. and he walks around the tempest machine & yanks out the electrical cord. it goes dead.
"what?" mutters gorak. "this glarken dimensional battle craft has died! the universe is finished!"
"un huh huh huh!" he says, dropping his head into his long fingered hands in despair.
"it's okay," says the little girl going over & shaking him, "these are just games! it's not real."
"not real? i've been duped!" motioning to a tall man in a suit gorak screeches, "lesgar of the reptilian overloards! exact my revenge!"
the man quickly changes.
"oh, oh," says babu.
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Post by mh on Jun 28, 2022 22:38:57 GMT -6
before babu can react, the seven-foot humanoid reptile stalks over & jerks off kenny's ever-present hat. then grabbing doug, shoves it down his pants. the he goes back & continues playing 'mrs. pacman'.
"good job lesgar!" says gorak. trifle with me will you?"
"i knew he was one," agent doug whispers to babu. "look closely & you can always tell."
looking down at the hat in his pants doug says, "all in all, not my worst tuesday night.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 29, 2022 16:17:41 GMT -6
So are we gonna play or what?" Cousin Joe Hallen says. "You can't just summon me for nothin', yo. I pull down 500 Gs a year playin' video games."
You what?" Babu yells. "Sh*t like this is why I'm on medication!!!"
"Don't hate the play. Hate the game," Cousin Joe Hallen says calmly, with all the serenity of a guy making half a million dollars a year playing video game, or "E-sports".
"And where the hell is Kenny?" Babu adds.
"He said soething about going to buy a new hat," the little girl says
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jun 30, 2022 19:48:22 GMT -6
Kenny suddenly returns wearing a trucker hat with the casino's logo on it. "I'm done back."
"Why'd you need a new hat," Babu says.
"Cuz I didn't want to wear one that done smell's like Doug's ball sweat," Kenny says.
"Rude," Doug sniffs.
"Who are them girls?" Kenny says, pointing to a group of hot chicks wearing matching outfits standing behind Cousin Joe Hallen.
"Oh, these are my groupies/cheerleaders," Cousin Joe Hallen says. "I wanted the Skittles sponsorship, but Nerds is almost as good. They come with me everywhere I go."
"I need my stress pills!" Babu shouts.
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Post by mh on Jun 30, 2022 23:18:50 GMT -6
buddy walks up & says, "kenny, i think i done falled in love with one of them nerdy cheerleaders."
"we ain't got time for this buddy!" yells doc quantum. "uhhh, which one?"
"the last one, the one that done looks strange & crazy!" says buddy.
"buddy, crazy women are fun. a freak in the street, and a freak in the bed! buddy, yer a man after my own heart." says doc.
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Post by Babu_Baboon on Aug 8, 2022 19:55:04 GMT -6
"Yo, G, which machine was the alien on?" Cousin Joe Hallen says.
"That one, mister," the little girl says, pointing at the Tempest game.
Cousin Joe Hallen steps up to the kiosk and says, "Yo Celeste, I need my set up."
One of the nerdettes steps up with a briefcase and raises it up. Another opens it up and pulls out an old Walkman cassette player.
She places the headphones on his head and he cracks his knuckles and his neck before putting a quarter in the machine. "Okay, gimme my jam."
As music fills his ears, magic begins to happen. Cousin Joe Hallen's fingers move so fast they're practically a blur.
"My God, he's magnificent!" Doug exclaims.
"I.. I think the human is going to beat your high score, your eminence."
"Impossible!" Gorak exclaims.
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Post by mh on Aug 13, 2022 0:18:46 GMT -6
gorak focuses his powers on one of the hallen cheerleaders, and hyp-mo-tized, she quickly whips off joe hallens glasses and replaces them with her own. "ghaaaa! i can't see sh-t!" cries joe hallen jr.
the games crashes.
"i am victorious!" exclaims gorak.
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Post by mh on Aug 13, 2022 15:16:38 GMT -6
"eek! what have i done?" squeals the cheerleader, and she runs behind a mrs. pacman machine before anyone notices.
"well hello sentient beings!" booms a voice from the doorway.
"l. ron hubbard and xenu!!!" cries doc quantum.
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