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Post by mh on Jan 7, 2014 15:30:58 GMT -6
lost tails (tales) of the monkey alliance!
featuring dakota, sandee and several forgotten and/or
well-rememered and beloved monkey alliance charactersprecisely during the time of the monkey alliance revenge squad adventure, both dakota and sandee, unaware of the strange and unbelievable goings on in 'parson's corners' are dutifully combing thru the vast amount of papers and old floppies taking up rows of old timey wooden filing cabinets in the old monkey alliance HQ storage facility.
"let's take five and have some tea in the parlor, "suggests sandee, "i hear the kettle starting to whistle and i could use a break."
"agreed, "says dakota. "sheesh, there's just so much stuff! like the library of congress or something."
moments later, pouring tea and getting settled, they both turn abruptly as a voice from out of the shadows says, "perhaps i could have a cup."
as a form takes shape in a darkened corner, dakota & sandee both pull out tubes that resemble sonic srewdrivers.
"okay, come out!" orders dakota. "kenny & buddy designed these for the interns in case of trouble."
"yeah, "says sandee, "one shot from this and you'll involuntarily pee your pants! which will generally make someone run away in shame. a second shot & you'll be lying semi-conscious in yer own yuck still trying to pee when the police come to pick you up!"
"please ladies, "says the intruder, "i'm quite sorry to have alarmed you, but there seemed no alternative. and as for wetting myself, that isn't possible. anything i ingest disappears into a dark dimension that i am half in and half out of."
"huh?" says sandee, noticing that when the obviously male figure turns, he sometimes appears so thin almost as to disappear.
"i have substance enough to move objects," he continues, "but the figure you see is comprised mostly of shadows and bent rays of light. your colleagues, the monkey alliance did this to me. specifically super-jesse. ladies, forgive me for not introducing myself sooner. i am dr. acula!" both interns gasp.
"I have a story to tell you..."
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Post by mh on Jan 7, 2014 16:19:49 GMT -6
a few minutes have passed, and dr. acula is now seated and sandee has brought him a cup of tea. "ah, earl grey, "says acula. "this parlor is charming. as are both of you."
"you're not what i would have expected doctor, "says dakota.
"you expected me to be crazy, correct?" exclaims acula.
dakota would've said crazier, but just replies, "yes."
he pulls the old reel to reel tape recorder closer to him, which he'd requested, and sandee was able to find.
"you won't find the true story of 'dr. acula' in any of those files," says acula. "i chose this time to tell my story -- because i happen to know your members are otherwise engaged."
"how ... are they in danger," asks dakota.
"from a degaton offspring who's fixated on your red suited companion, a former spatula mogul, and a boy that hurls fast-food cuisine at people? i hardly think so."
"those guys?" exclaims dakota in disbelief. "yeah, they'll be fine."
"this device has never been improve on," acula states almost to himself, admiring the recorder. "the old ways are almost always best." sipping his tea, he switches it on. "now, "he says, "let us begin."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 23, 2014 18:31:11 GMT -6
This was in the earlier days of the Monkey Alliance," Dr. Acula began. "Their membership was different then: Babu Baboon, MH, Pac, Desk-boy, Super Jesse, EDM, and Mushmouth. The city of Justice loved their new heroes and worshipped them like gods.
"I was but a humble scientist in those days. And I admit, I was as taken with our new heroes as anybody. My favorite was Super Jesse. I had always been a Superman fan and here was his ow cousin figting crime in our fair city! It was exciting!
"I resolved to use my own scientific expertise to help them. First and formost, I would do for Super Jesse what no one had been able to do for Superman: a cure for kryptonite! I was working on this very cure when the incedent happened?"
"What incedent?" Dakota asked.
"The incedent that would forever change the course of my life. I was in my lab, using my raio-spectral anylizer on various samples of kryptonite I had gathered. The machine was coursing wth radiation on many diferent wavelengths, but as long as it remained undisturbed within the confines of its lead-lined walls there would be no problem.
"That was not to be, though. During the middle of my expirament, te air was suddenly filled with a raucous noise. I looked outmy window to see the Monkey Alliance in the midst of a heated battle with a giant robot! MH, Pac, Mushmouth, and EDM were in theMonkey Mobile trying to distract it as Super Jesse and Babu Baboon flew too and fro, dodging its death rays as they delivered blows oftheir own.
"Suddenly, Super Jesse delivered a right cross that sent the giant robot's head crashing to the ground. The round head proceeded to roll down the street towards my building. I screamed as the head crashed into my lab and through the wall. Suddenly everything went white as my lab as engulfed in blinding energy as my expirament exploded."
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Post by mh on Jan 24, 2014 23:38:18 GMT -6
"and that's what caused you to be the way you are?" asks dakota.
"no, don't be silly, "answers dr. acula. "yes, the head crashed into my lab & my experiment was ruined. but i quickly realized i was on the wrong course. the m.a. came and apologized, and soon we became friends, and i was like a monkey alliance mascot! you must remember, this was the 'me' generation. the 90's!"
"so you were practically a monkey alliance member, "states dakota.
"yes!" cries dr. acula. "ah, how i basked in their presence! mushmoth & i going to see obscure 90's burt reynolds movies, babu baboon & i seeking out grunge flannel at all the trendy thrift stores
pac/ronnie mcface & i acid washing our own denim and drooling over parker posey. it was like a dream! but my main focus continued to be making super-jesse safe from all forms of kryptonite. finally i used a laser to pull in an asteroid of what i termed anti-kryptonite. but something went wrong! it came in too fast! a crash became eminent."
"where were the monkey alliance?" asks dakota.
"they were at my place!" exclaims dr. acula. "after a nite of 90's style partying, they were crashed out throughout my house! as the asteroid came crashing in, super-jesse began rescuing them all. at the last there was just me & mh."
"where was mh?" asks dakota.
"he was asittin' on ther toilet!" exclaims acula. "super-jesse could've either saved i or him. but he chose mh! and that asteroid made me the creature you see before you. what a bunch of jerks!"
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Post by Babu Baboon on Jan 31, 2014 18:29:18 GMT -6
"After that," Acula Continues, "I swore revenge on the Monkey Alliance. Clashing with them time and again, I soon took my place among such notable members of their rogues gallery as Gary Degaton, the Crimson Mullet, Professor Hasselhoff, and the Salami Monster.
"My newfound abilites, due to my transformed state, made me a formidable opponent for the Monkey Alliance. Somehow, though, they always found a way to defeat me. I grew frustrated. I sent my henchmen away and took time off from sper villainy to get my head together. What was te point of these repeated clashes that always ended in defeat?
Then one day, an idea hit me. An idea so diabolical I knew life for the Monkey Alliance would never be the same."
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Post by mh on Feb 4, 2014 10:57:30 GMT -6
"that's real nice," says sandee, "but tea break is over! time for us gals to get back to work."
later, as they're digging thru files, acula asks, "aren't you girls even curious what my diabolical idea was?"
"sure says dakota, "was it to put us behind in transcripting all the monkey alliance info, so the 'monkey alliance historical museum, library and water-slide' will never be finished?"
"no smarty pants," says acula, "and now I have half a mind not to tell you!" in his anger acula bumps into a filing cabinet, and a box full of old floppies fall on him.
"by lucifer's beard!" cries acula.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 5, 2014 19:24:32 GMT -6
"You really have no curiousity at all?" Dr. Acula says incredulously. "No wish to know why, when you were first hired, a team calling itself the Monkey Alliance was more of a Duo?"
"Okay, tell us," Dakota says, settin down the box she was holding.
"I thought you would never ask," Acula says, smiling.
He takes his chair once more and says, "There I was, wallowing in my own self pity. Revenge seemed beyond my reach. The Monkey Alliance had made me a being that dwelled in multiple dimensions at the same time, but called none of them home. That was when it hit me. If they had done this to me, why not return the favor?"
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Post by mh on Feb 10, 2014 15:23:00 GMT -6
"hmmm, "says sandee, "so you plan on using another laser to pull in another anti-kryptonite asteroid, hope the conditions are exactly like they were before, build an exact replica of your old house, and somehow get the monkey alliance guys to hang around while you drop it on them. wow, great plan doc! gee, I can't imagine why all your plans ended in defeat." (rolling her eyes)
"
"wow sandee, "says dakota, "you know, the other day skye said you were about as sharp as a sack of wet mice, but you're showing real promise!"
"skye said what?!" exclaims sandee.
"hey you two! listen to me!" exclaims dr. acula.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Feb 11, 2014 10:53:40 GMT -6
"I didn't mean I literally repeated the same disaster!" Acula says, doing a facepalm.
"My plan was to isolate them as they isolated me! To rip them from everything they knew, loved, and valued!" Acula exclaims. "You are right about one thing, though. I would need another anti-kryptonite meteor. And it just so happened that NASA had already located it for me..."
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Post by mh on Feb 14, 2014 23:40:52 GMT -6
"but it won't work," intones a voice from an old transistor radio, "your plans never work!"
"but it might ... what?" who is this?"
"this is j'onkk j'onnkk, on your planet i'm known as the slamai monster!" says the voice. "i'm currently on my adopted home planet, neptune."
the girls look at each other, mystified.
"listen," exclaims acula, "don't butt in! this is my moment!"
"i've been listening, and i have a story to tell," continues the slamai monster. |
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Post by Babu Baboon on Mar 6, 2014 19:07:56 GMT -6
Acula reaches over and switches off the radio. "Damnable interrupting alien."
"That was rude!" Sandee says.
"He interrupts my story and I'm the rude one?" Acula scoffs.
"He said your plan won't work. What are you up to?!!" Dakota says.
"Our alien salami friend has some trouble with tenses," Dr. Acula says. "English is not his native tongue.
"So he meant your plan didn't work?" Dakota asks.
"Yes," Acula says. "But he was under the impression that I meant to kill the Monkey Alliance. If I had let him believe otherwise, he never would have assisted me in pulling it off."
"So you didn't want them dead?" Sandee asks.
"Of course not!" Acula says with a sinister laugh. "If I killed them, how could I make them suffer?"
Suddenly the radio springs to life once more. "How dare you having cut me off!" the slamoi monster screeches. "You will not have cut me off again!"
"What?" Dakota says.
Acula sighs. "Slamoi Monster again. The angrier he gets, the worse his English gets."
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Post by mh on Mar 8, 2014 0:15:00 GMT -6
acula unplugs the radio, and shoves it in a cabinet and shuts the door.
"there, no more interruptions." says acula.
making a irritated face at acula's rudeness, sandee asks, "what's the slamoi monster like?"
"ummm, think jabba the hutt, "says dr. acula, "if jabba was six times bigger & could fly."
"yuck," says dakota with a cringe.
suddenly someone enters, and it's gilda, from the mayor's office.
"what're you doing here?" exclaims sandee.
"sorry to bother you ladies -- I mean skanks," says gilda snidely, "but i have to locate some important files for doctor quantum! you may recall that i worked on -- 'the many spooks of doctor quantum!' he wants a database of all the monkey alliance supernatural cases for easy access."
"listen 'no-tits mcgee', why don't you ..." begins sandee.
suddenly gilda yells, "omg, dr. acula!"
"hello my dear, nice to see you again," coos dr. acula.
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 8, 2014 16:03:49 GMT -6
"What are you doing here?" Gilda exclaims.
"Simply taking a tour down memory lane," Dr. Acula says. "And filling the comely interns here on a period of history they were not yet familiar.
"As I was saying, I discovered NASA had already located an anti-kryptonite meteor. But how to get to it before they destroyed it? I was monitoring the meteor when a voice broke in on the line I was using.
''Ello! Is this being Dr. Acula?
'Yes, this is Dr. Acula.' I replied. 'Who is this? And how did you break through my monitoring system?'
'Mine nomenclature is j'onkk j'onnkk. Your enemies are having knowledge of me as the Slamoi Monster. You no like them. I no like them. Perhaps we could workings together to killed the Monkey Alliance.'
'Tell me what you have in mind,' I said."
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Post by Babu Baboon on Apr 24, 2014 5:50:39 GMT -6
"'I living currently on planet Neptune'" the Slamoi monster continued. "'I attatch device to anti-Kryptonite meteor so it can be remote controlled. I giuding it right past Neptune so you can catch it and use it how you need againsting Monkey Alliance. Sound good, yes?'
"'It does sound good.' I replied
"S' So we work together?' he asked eagerly.
"Sounds like a plan,' I smiled." Says Dr Acula
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Post by mh on Apr 24, 2014 23:16:47 GMT -6
suddenly, at a moment when acula blinks into 4-d, gilda cracks him over the head with a cricket bat used by babu baboon in the 'anthropoidal fraternization' adventure. at least that what the tag said.
"ghaa!" yells acula, and passes out.
"this jerk once explained to me that he reverts to normal when he's wet," says gilda, as she begins tying him up.
"i'm on it!" says dakota.
"hey what ..." slurs dr. acula, as dakota throws a bucket of water on him.
"oh! shoot." slurs acula, then passes out again.
"going on -- what is?!" exclaims the voice of the soloami monster. |
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